[Tea moves closer to Todd on the bed. She reaches both of her hands out and runs them through his hair several times.]
Todd: What are you doing, Delgado?
Tea: You didn't comb your hair last night after your shower.
Todd: Are you trying to tell me I have bed head?
Tea: Well, since your head was resting on my chest, I suppose the correct term should be chest head.
Todd: At least I have an excuse for my hair being a mess.
Tea: Are you saying that mine is a mess?
Todd: Not if you like the Woody Woodpecker look.
Tea: Who, or what, is Woody Woodpecker?
Todd: You're kidding, right?
Tea: No.
Todd: You had such a deprived childhood. What did you do if you never watched cartoons?
Tea: I read a lot.
Todd: Figures!
Tea: Hey! My family couldn't afford college. I needed a scholarship...an academic scholarship.
Todd: So, now you're going to pretend that all your time studying was harder work than all the time I spent playing football?
Tea: Mine wasn't a game.
Todd: Yeah, well, mine wasn't either.
Tea: Your father didn't give you a choice, did he?
[Todd again pulls away from her touch.]
Tea: I'm sorry. I don't want to cause you to think about anything negative right now.
Todd: Everything is negative.
Tea: That isn't true. There are so many positives in your life.
Todd: Sure, there are.
[Tea knows that Todd doesn't believe her. She cautiously touches her hand to his chest and leans closer to him.]
Tea: There's this...
[Tea lightly kisses his cheek.]
Tea: And this...
[She kisses his chin.]
Tea: And this...
[As Tea brings her lips to his, Todd quickly brings his arms around her and kisses her harder than she had planned to kiss him. As he continues to kiss her, he brings his body against hers. Before Tea has a chance to realize what his intentions are, she's on her back and Todd is rolling on top of her. As he uses his own legs to open hers, his intentions become quite clear.
Her brain quickly tries to decipher the input it's receiving while her body wants her brain to stay out of it and allow this to happen. She's uncertain if he would really go through with what his body is considering in this moment. He might stop. But, her body is definitely receiving some signals from his, that he might not. Either way, this could lead to disaster.
Tea knows that Todd would ultimately regret it if they continued in this way, in this moment. She quickly tries to determine how to stop what they're doing, or at least slow it down so she can know that he isn't making a rash decision he'll later regret. She needs to determine, though, how to do this without him feeling like she's rejecting him.
She recalls several hours earlier when they were both caught up in the moment and her hand entered the back of his underwear, causing him to suddenly stop what they were doing, for reasons she can only guess. She decides to try it again and see how he reacts.
It takes several moments for Tea to dislodge one of her arms from between their bodies. Her hand quickly lands on the side of his body and proceeds down his bare skin until it reaches the top of the shorts he's wearing. As she begins to squirm her hand under the material, Todd quickly releases her body from his and rolls over onto his side of the bed, facing away from her.
For several minutes, there is silence in the room, except for the sound of their heavy breathing. When Tea feels more under control herself and ready to handle whatever the reaction might be, she rolls over, facing him, and presses her body against his back, her arm around his stomach.]
Todd: Don't.
Tea: What?
Todd: You didn't want me touching you.
Tea: That's not true.
Todd: I'm not an idiot.
Tea: Neither am I. I know that something was wrong.
Todd: Because I wanted to screw you?
Tea: Is that what you wanted?
Todd: I thought I was being pretty obvious. So were you.
Tea: You know that I want you.
Todd: I know no such thing.
Tea: I want you, Todd.
Todd: You wanted me to stop. You just didn't want to scream and scratch at me to get me off you.
Tea: Why would I scream?
Todd: All the girls do.
Tea: Not this girl. I want to be with you, to make love with you.
Todd: That's what I was trying to do.
Tea: No, you were trying to screw me.
Todd: It's the same thing.
Tea: Look in my eyes. Whisper my name. Treat me like I'm special. We'll make love for as long as we can, until we both pass out.
[Todd is silent for several moments. When he speaks again, he surprises Tea with his words.]
Todd: What was your first time like?
[Tea hesitates to answer for a moment, uncertain if now, with both of them lacking sleep, is the time to have this discussion.]
Tea: Maybe we shouldn't talk about this now.
Todd: That good? Or, that bad?
Tea: It was fine.
Todd: Fine? In sex talk that means lousy, right?
Tea: It was fine.
Todd: Lousy.
Tea (becoming irritated): It was fine, okay? It was just fine.
Todd: So, he didn't rock your world?
Tea: No.
Todd: Did it hurt?
Tea: Some.
Todd: A lot?
Tea: Do I get to ask you questions about your first time?
Todd: No.
Tea (sarcastically): Well, that's fair.
[Tea rolls away from him until her back is flat on the bed again. Todd turns in her direction and studies her face. He knows that she's uncomfortable but he also knows that if he really wants her to, she'll answer his questions, most of them, anyway.]
Todd: Did he go slow? Did he try to be careful?
Tea: In the beginning.
Todd: But, not the whole way through?
Tea: He got excited.
Todd: And, he started banging away?
Tea: That's pretty much what he did, yes.
Todd: You chose it, right? Going into it, I mean...you wanted to?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: But, then you regretted it?
[Tea turns her head away from him. Todd reaches his hand out and lightly caresses her hair.]
Todd: It's okay, Tea. He was a creep. He was a guy. Guys are creeps.
[Todd reaches down and grabs the blankets and pulls them up both their bodies. When he finally settles his own body again, his hand rests motionless on her stomach.]
Todd: Did you tell anyone?
Tea: No.
Todd: If your mom had been around would you have told her?
Tea: I don't know.
Todd: I guess telling your dad wouldn't have been a good idea, huh?
[Tea laughs at the thought of having such a discussion with her father.
Tea turns her head and looks into Todd's eyes. He's relieved that she isn't crying.]
Tea: Did you tell anyone after your first time?
Todd: Every guy in the locker room.
Tea: You didn't?
Todd: Every detail. The girl had to transfer to a different school.
[Tea doesn't know if she should believe him or assume that he's kidding...or, at least, exaggerating. She also doesn't know if he would be okay with her probing any deeper so she decides to allow him to determine the continued direction of their conversation, or if their conversation will continue at all.
After several minutes of relatively comfortable silence, Todd makes his decision known to Tea as he moves closer to her, his lips meeting hers in a gentle kiss.]
[For several minutes, Todd lavishes tender kisses upon Tea's lips. When he finally pulls slightly away and rests his head on his own pillow, Tea sighs, not wanting to lose his lips on hers.]
Todd: Was that better?
Tea: You're a great kisser.
Todd: You don't have to lie. I meant was that what you wanted instead of what happened earlier?
Tea: I wasn't lying. You're the best kisser.
Todd: And, you've auditioned how many men so far?
[Tea lightly places her hand against his cheek.]
Tea: Don't.
Todd: You're always trying to stop me from having fun.
Tea: Fighting is fun?
Todd: Sometimes.
Tea: I think we've had enough fights recently.
Todd: We've also had enough talking, that never seems to stop you, though.
Tea: We don't have to talk.
Todd: Are you taking another nap?
Tea: If I do, will you join me?
Todd: I'll stay here and watch you again.
Tea: I want you to join me. I want you to sleep.
Todd: Why are you so obsessed with trying to get me to sleep? Are you planning to steal my wallet?
Tea: Why would I have to? You've already given me thousands of dollars during this trip. And, every time I try to give it back to you, it ends up in my purse again.
Todd: It's your money. You earned it.
Tea (her anger rising): If you are trying to insinuate...
[Todd stops her in mid-yell by placing his fingers against her lips.]
Todd: You earned it. You've been putting up with me for a couple of weeks, haven't you?
[As Todd's fingers move away from her mouth, they slowly move down her neck, to her chest.]
Tea: That's my joy, not my job.
Todd: That's your burden.
Tea: I disagree.
Todd: You want to fight about it?
Tea: I'd rather make love.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: Do you still want me to get into your pants...or shorts...or whatever?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: Just touching...that's as far as we're going, right?
Tea: And kissing.
Todd: You want me to kiss you there?
Tea (smiling): I wasn't thinking that but if you'd like to...
Todd: Maybe we should save that for another time. We do still have a couple of days that we need to burn off before this...whatever it is...blows up.
Tea: Maybe we should stop talking and go back to doing.
Todd: I've been trying to do that for the last two hours.
Tea: It hasn't been two hours.
Todd: It has for me. And, don't start a fight trying to push sleep on me again.
Tea: Fine. I won't. I'll just have to exhaust you until you don't have a choice anymore.
Todd: You could try.
Tea: I intend to.
Todd: Tea?
Tea: Yes?
Todd: Shut up.
[Tea smiles at him and places her hand on the back of his head, pulling him into another kiss.
As they kiss, Todd's hand moves under the blankets, caressing her upper body. Tea responds the most when his hand caresses her breasts so his hand lingers there the longest.
After several minutes, Tea turns her body more in his direction. She places her leg over his as their lower bodies instinctively come together. Todd's hand moves to her back but quickly journeys lower.
As they continue to kiss, Todd's hand glides over the material of the shorts she's wearing until he feels her bare thigh. He uses his grip on her leg to pull her even tighter against him as he leans into her more heavily.
The sensations coursing through her body with his fingers on her flesh, so near where she desperately wants him to touch her, cause her to moan.
Todd ends their kiss. Tea whimpers slightly, not wanting him to pull away from her...not now...not this close.]
Tea: Don't stop.
Todd: Is this comfortable for you?
Tea: I don't care.
Todd: I do.
[Tea looks in his eyes, relieved to find lust there, along with concern, nervousness and love.
She quickly brings her mouth to his and kisses him tenderly, at first, but almost immediately returns to the passionate kissing they were sharing moments earlier.
Their bodies gently rock together as Todd's hand slides inside one of the leg openings of her shorts. As his fingers reach her underwear, they both respond with moans.
Moments later, Todd's hand pulls away from where it has been pleasurably caressing while his lips pull away from hers. Tea places her arm tightly around him, not wanting to allow him to pull away from her again.]
Todd: It's okay, Delgado.
Tea: No. Don't stop.
[Todd brings his hand up and caresses her hair as he gazes lustfully, and lovingly, into her eyes.]
Todd: I'm not...not yet.
Tea: Don't.
Todd: I'm not. We agreed, though, right? It's just touching, remember?
Tea: You can't stop yet. You haven't done what we agreed to yet.
Todd: If you shut up and stop delaying this, I'll do it.
Tea: Prove it!
Todd: You're so demanding. No wonder you never legally changed your last name to get rid of Manning. It fits you perfectly. Tea D. Manning...and, boy, are you demanding.
[Tea laughs, recalling the first time he made a similar joke, shortly after their first wedding.
Todd pauses for several moments, giving them both an opportunity to calm themselves slightly.]
Todd: Are you ready?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: I've never been more positive of anything.
[Todd reaches his hand down and removes her leg from his body, encouraging her to lie back on the bed again.
Tea studies his face carefully. She wants to continue but she doesn't want to go further than he's ready for. She's not even certain if she's truly ready for this but she has every intention of finding out.
Todd interrupts her thoughts as he leans over her and they share another kiss. After ending the kiss, Todd pulls away, not only his body but also the bedding that has been covering their bodies. As Tea feels the cool air on her skin, she shivers slightly. It's more than the temperature of the room that causes her to shiver, though. As Todd kneels next to her and pulls on her shorts, her shivering increases.]
[As Todd tugs on her shorts, he carefully ensures that her underwear stay in place. When he finally has her shorts down her legs, and off her body, he tosses them onto the floor.
He looks back up at Tea. She's breathing deeply. Her eyes are shut tight. She's obviously nervous.
Todd refuses to believe the part of his brain that tries to convince him that she's scared that he'll hurt her. She's reassured him so many times already. She could be lying, of course, but he forces himself to believe that she isn't. She does trust him. He intends to do everything he can to honor that trust and only give her pleasure.
Knowing that both of them are nervous in this moment, Todd decides to do something that they've already done, to help them both ease into this new territory.
He moves between her legs and gently coaxes them further apart. For more than a minute, he kneels facing her and does nothing but rub his hands along her legs and stare at her body before him.]
Todd: Are you ready?
[Tea keeps her eyes closed as she nods her assent.]
Todd: Open your eyes.
[Her eyes remain shut.]
Todd: Delgado...
[He waits several moments but her eyes remain closed.]
Todd: I guess you fell asleep on me. I'll have to stop.
[After several seconds, Tea opens her eyes and looks at him. She quickly closes them again.]
Todd: Do you want to wait?
Tea: No.
Todd: You're nervous.
[Tea opens her eyes and stares into his eyes.]
Tea: Aren't you?
Todd: Yeah. But, I'm not stopping...unless you ask me to.
Tea: Why?
Todd: Because...it's either this or sleep and you know how much I hate sleeping.
[Tea smiles at him. He moves his hands further up her legs and begins to caress her inner thigh.]
Todd: Do you really want me to touch you there?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: You're sure?
Tea: Yes.
Todd: This is your last chance to back out of this, because I'm about to touch you there.
Tea: Okay.
Todd: We could wait a little longer, if you want to.
Tea: Todd?
Todd: What?
Tea: You talk too much.
Todd: Me? You're the one...
Tea (interrupting him): I am nervous. More than I've probably ever been nervous before. I want to do this with you. I want to share everything with you, including my body...my entire body. I don't know how I'll react, though.
Todd: You'll burst into tears, just like you have after all of the other firsts we've had together.
Tea: That's not true.
Todd: Do you remember the first time I kissed you?
Tea: I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't prepared for how emotional it would be, how much I would feel, how quickly you would knock down my defenses.
Todd: You didn't see me bursting into tears, did you?
Tea: Did you feel...
[Tea doesn't know how to describe exactly what she felt in that moment.]
Todd: Yeah, I think I did.
Tea: You did?
Todd: I felt a lot of junk...junk that I never wanted to feel for you.
Tea: But, you felt it?
Todd: Yeah, I felt it. We'll make this easy, okay? As soon as we do this, we'll fall asleep. Actually, you'll fall asleep and I'll watch you. That way, we can feel whatever we feel but we won't have to worry about talking about any of it.
Tea: I like talking to you.
Todd: Is that why you'd rather talk right now than have me touch you...
[Todd nervously looks down at her underwear.]
Todd: ...where I've never touched you before?
Tea: Touch me, Todd. I trust you.
Todd: Did you have to ruin the moment?
Tea: I trust you. Deal with it.
[Todd looks at her eyes for several silent moments. When he breaks their eye contact, he stretches his body out, away from hers so that his face is near her crotch.
He quickly begins to kiss her inner thigh the way he had days earlier. He again uses his tongue, as he had that day, on the part of her flesh he knows is particularly sensitive to his touch.
Tea tries to control her body's response. Her emotions are overwhelming for her but so are the physical sensations. She closes her eyes again and tries to force her body and mind to relax and enjoy what Todd is doing without considering the next moment, without worrying about the consequences.
As Todd kisses, and licks, her flesh, enjoying the way her body is responding to him, he allows his cheek to be pressed against her underwear, knowing that it's adding to her enjoyment...and anticipation.
When Todd finishes with one thigh, he moves to the other and showers it with his mouth's attention for several minutes.
When he finally pulls his mouth off of her flesh, he looks at her underwear again, wondering if he should remove it or leave it on for the next step. He looks up at Tea's face and finds her eyes open again and watching him.
Todd quickly moves out from between her legs. He grabs the bedding that he had earlier pushed to the end of the bed and pulls it over her body again. He joins her under the covers and lies at her side, facing her.]
Todd: You're shivering.
Tea: I know.
Todd: Do you want to stop?
Tea: No.
[Their eyes maintain an intense gaze for several seconds before Todd closes his eyes and brings his lips to hers. After several seconds, Todd's tongue appears at her lips. As his tongue enters her mouth and begins a slow exploration, they both allow themselves to release the moans that they had each been holding back moments earlier.
After several minutes of mutual exploration, Todd removes his lips from hers and places several kisses near her mouth. He quickly advances to her neck and kisses...licks...sucks...his way toward her breasts.
He leans over her and begins with the breast furthest from him. In his current position, he knows that Tea can feel his excitement through his shorts as he presses himself against her body. He wants her to know how she makes him feel. He intends to make her feel just as excited.
He pleasures her breast with his mouth as his hand moves down her stomach, prepared to touch her where he never has before.]
Todd's mouth is on the breast closest to him. His tongue is enjoying Tea's nipple. His hand is caressing the flesh surrounding her underwear.
He has been caressing above her underwear and even a little at the sides but he has been avoiding caressing her directly on top of her underwear. As much as Tea is enjoying his caresses and the wonders he is doing with his mouth, she worries about why his hand has yet to touch where they both agreed it would.]
Tea: Todd?
[Todd pulls his mouth off her breast and looks at her face.]
Todd: Are you getting sore? I can stop.
Tea: I don't want you to stop.
Todd: Okay.
[His mouth instantly returns to her breast.
Tea decides to take matters into her own hand...literally. She cautiously places her hand on top of his hand as it's caressing just above the top of her underwear. Todd stops caressing her and his mouth stops it's movement, too. For a few seconds he keeps her nipple in his mouth but soon relinquishes it.]
Tea: I don't want you to stop.
Todd: I know what you want.
Tea: Why haven't you touched me?
Todd: I've been touching you.
Tea: You know what I mean.
Todd: I don't want to hurt you.
Tea: You won't. Your nails have been trimmed. And, I felt your fingertips, remember? There's nothing sharp that will hurt me. You'll be gentle. I know you will.
Todd: Did you figure the first guy you screwed would be gentle, too?
Tea: That's different.
Todd: How?
Tea: This isn't your first time. You've been with other women. I assume that, in your past, you've touched women there before.
Todd: I've hurt...
Tea (quickly interrupting): Your past is your past. It's not here. It's not in this bed with us right now.
Todd: It's always here. Wherever I am, it will always be.
Tea: It doesn't have to stop us from sharing this experience together. Let's start through my underwear, okay? Just touch me like you've been touching me. Just move your hand over my underwear. Okay?
Todd: Shouldn't you be bursting into tears?
Tea: No such luck...at least not yet.
[Todd moves his hand out from under hers. He pulls the blankets up to cover her chest. He rests his head next to hers. As they continue their discussion, they both lower their voices, as their emotions move even closer to the surface.]
Todd: Do you trust me? I mean, really trust me.
[Tea turns onto her side, facing him.]
Tea: Yes. I trust you completely.
Todd: The truth.
Tea: I trust you with my body.
Todd: But, not with your heart?
Tea: No.
Todd: Because I hurt it?
Tea: Yes. You did. You hurt it...very badly.
[Tears come to Tea's eyes.]
Todd: Yeah. Mine got hurt, too. No one can hurt your heart unless you give it to them, right?
Tea: Right.
Todd: Can you do it again?
Tea: What?
Todd: Can you give me your heart?
Tea: I want to.
Todd: But, you haven't yet, right? Not completely.
Tea: I don't know if I can...
Todd: Did you hold it back before?
Tea: I tried.
Todd: But, did you?
Tea: In a way, yes. I knew that I needed to. I thought that I had. After it was all over, after our marriage blew up on our wedding night, after you left town, after I couldn't hide behind my anger anymore, I realized just how much of my heart had really been damaged.
Todd: Is that why you made those mistakes with those other guys?
Tea: I was running. I was trying not to feel. I was falling back into my usual pattern of numbing myself...or, trying to.
Todd: It didn't work?
Tea: When I was in the same room with other people, I would put on a phony face. I learned, after my mother left, how to pretend that everything was okay when it really wasn't. I learned how to hide my feelings and not show them to anyone. I learned how to not let people see my pain.
Todd: My lessons were different but kind of the same. You can't let people see when you're in pain. They'll think you're weak. They'll use it against you.
Tea: That's what's good about this, Todd. We don't have to hide if from each other. We can trust each other and we can allow ourselves to feel and we can show each other how much we feel. It's safe here.
Todd: It's never safe.
Tea: It is. Right here. Right now.
Todd: This will all blow up in a couple of days.
Tea: This part of our relationship may have to pause for a while but it won't be like it was the last time. There doesn't have to be an explosion. We don't have to go out in a blaze of anger. We could say good-bye this time. We could kiss good-bye. We could hug good-bye. We could comfort each other over our shared loss.
Todd: You're dreaming.
Tea: No, I'm believing. I believe that we met for a reason.
Todd: Do you believe you got knocked up for a reason, too?
Tea: If I am pregnant, yes, I believe it happened for a reason.
Todd: To keep us apart?
Tea: We did that to ourselves. For more than a year, we both chose that. We may not have wanted it but we did choose it.
Todd: We should never have done this. Giving your heart to another person is the dumbest thing you can do. We both learned that when we were kids. We're both idiots.
Tea: We're in love. We're allowed to be foolish.
Todd: Delgado...
[For the first time in several minutes, Todd touches Tea's body again by placing the tip of one of his fingers against her cheek and lightly moving it along her perfect skin.]
Todd: I know you don't believe it, at least not completely. I know that maybe you never will. You're mom put a doubt inside you that you probably will never get rid of. I do love you. I did give you my heart a long time ago. I never got it back so I can't give it to you now because you've had it the whole time. If I could do this...everything that's to come for the rest of our lives...without hurting you, I would. I don't think I can. I don't think you can feel this much without getting hurt.
Tea: If that's the case, it's a hurt I'm willing to endure.
Todd: You don't know, Tea. It blew up last time before it got as bad as it can get. You don't know how much worse it can get.
Tea: I'm willing to find out. I would walk across a burning lake if you're beside me.
Todd: A couple of years ago, you told me you didn't want to walk across a burning lake to be with me.
Tea: A couple of years ago I was foolish enough to think that I had a choice.
Todd: And, now you know that you're stuck?
Tea: Yes. I'm stuck. But, you...you're exhausted. Let's try to sleep. We'll still have plenty of time for exploration when we wake up.
Todd: We had a deal, Delgado. I don't renege on deals. Just try not to burst into tears on me, okay?
Tea: I'll try.
[Todd reaches down and brings his hand to her top leg. He pulls it on top of the side of his body, similar to how she had it positioned earlier. This time, instead of pressing their bodies together, they leave enough space between their two bodies for Todd's hand to move between them.
This time he doesn't hesitate. As they maintain eye contact, his hand quickly moves over her underwear and begins to caress her.]
[Todd and Tea maintain eye contact for several moments until the embarrassment becomes too much for Tea and she closes her eyes. Todd finds it endearing that Tea would feel any shyness with him in this moment, especially since she stood in front of him completely naked a few hours earlier, with less self-consciousness.]
Todd: Are you falling asleep on me again?
Tea: I can't look at you.
Todd: Why?
Tea: You know why.
Todd: I can't think of a reason.
Tea: Go ahead and tease me, but don't you dare stop what you're doing.
Todd: Who's teasing? We're just two people lying in bed together. No big deal, right?
Tea: This is a very big deal, Todd.
Todd: Do you want to stop?
Tea: No.
Todd: Are you about to burst into tears?
Tea: No.
Todd: You're sure? Because, I'm about to go in.
Tea: I can handle it, as long as I don't look at you.
Todd: You need to imagine I'm someone else?
[Tea immediately opens her eyes. Todd knows that she did it to reassure him. He takes advantage of the moment. As his hand is sliding up the outside of her underwear, it goes all the way to the top and slides inside.
Todd enjoys the pleasantly surprised look he receives from her and the smile that widens as her eyes quickly shut again.
Todd again realizes that it must be her anxiety in this moment that is allowing his to not be as severe. He's enjoying the fact that his touch has such an effect on her. He understands that it's the intensity of her emotions, more than the physical act itself, that is causing her to avoid eye contact.
His hand continues to caress her without venturing into more intimate territory for several moments. He wants to move forward and explore her more intimately and he knows that she wants it too but he waits, allowing her more time to adjust to her emotions as each physical barrier is crossed.]
Tea: Todd?
Todd: Are you ready?
Tea: Maybe we should trade places.
Todd: You want this side of the bed?
Tea: I want my hand in your shorts. That was easier.
Todd: Why do you think my hand is where it is? I don't want to go through that hell again.
Tea: I guarantee, you'd enjoy it.
Todd: I'm enjoying this.
Tea: Are you?
Todd: Well, I was until the talking started.
Tea: Do you want to go further?
Todd: You want my hand to go further? Like, to your butt?
Tea: You know what I mean.
Todd: Further down your body? You want me to rub your feet?
Tea: Is this too much for you?
Todd: Me? You're the one who needs your eyes closed during this.
[Tea opens her eyes again and looks into his eyes. She takes a deep breath as she tries to keep her emotions calm. She feels like the entire focus of her body and mind is right where Todd is currently caressing.]
Todd: What do you want, Tea?
Tea: I want to touch you.
Todd: Why?
Tea: Because...
Todd: Because you want me to stop touching you?
Tea: Because...
Todd: Because you don't want me to go any further?
Tea: Because...
Todd: We already went too far?
[Tea is silent for several moments. Todd's hand stops caressing her but he keeps it inside her underwear, pressed against her delicate flesh.]
Todd: What do you want, Tea?
Tea: I want you to do more.
Todd: Because you don't want to hurt my feelings admitting that you really want me to stop?
Tea: Because...
Todd: Because...
Tea (interrupting him): Todd, stop.
Todd: Stop telling the truth?
Tea: Stop. I'd rather be touching you because it would be different, it would feel different. I could be in control. I wouldn't have to worry about losing control.
Todd: You lost control with other guys, right?
Tea: Don't start that right now.
Todd: Start what? You screamed out in ecstasy with other guys. You let them touch you. Hell, you let them screw you, but when it's me...
Tea: When it's you...
[Tea places her hand over his hand, with the material of her underwear in between their hands. He hasn't tried to move his hand away yet but she senses that he will soon and she wants to make it clear to him that she doesn't want that.]
Tea: When it's you, it's different.
Todd: Yeah, I feel so special. It's so deep between us that you don't want me to do what you let every other guy do to you.
Tea: It is deep.
Todd: It's so deep, I think I need a shovel.
Tea: This isn't some bull that I'm trying to pass off as something else.
Todd: No, it's a bunch of dung, that's what it is. I know the truth.
Tea: The truth is that your hand right now is where I have dreamed many times it would someday be.
Todd: On the outside, wanting to get in?
Tea: Go in. You're invited. You're wanted. Enter me, Todd.
[Todd pulls his hand out of her underwear. He also removes her leg from his body.]
Todd: Forget it. This was a stupid idea.
Tea: Why? It's your turn now. Answer my questions, for a change.
Todd: For a change? Answering your questions is all I ever do. You never stop asking me to tell you things, to share stuff with you. You never shut up. Everything was going fine until you...
Tea: Until I what? Until I felt something?
Todd: You would have felt something. Believe me, you would have felt something. You didn't want to...not when that something was attached to my body. I got the message.
Tea: What message? The one that's the opposite of what I said out loud?
Todd: You say one thing and you mean another. You do it to me all the time.
Tea: I want you to touch me.
Todd: You were cringing.
Tea: I was scared...
Todd: Of me.
Tea: Of my feelings. I was scared to let go.
Todd: You should be scared. You should go back to screwing bimbos.
Tea: Don't you mean you should go back to screwing bimbos?
Todd: No, I meant you. You had the bimbo cop and the bimbo criminal. Or, because they're guys, do you call them mimbos? How about gimbos? It doesn't matter. Whatever you call them, they were just losers with the right equipment, that didn't scare the hell out of you. You didn't give a damn about them. Isn't that what you're trying to con me into believing. Wait. I forgot, you loved R.J., isn't that what you told me when we started this stupid trip. At least you were honest with me once.
Tea: This isn't about R.J.
Todd: Was it like this when you were screwing him? Or, did you have your legs spread out, giving him a good view in the first ten seconds? You were never nervous with him, right? You were never scared to let him touch you. You didn't have to close your eyes and grit your teeth and force your way through it. I'm not going to force you. You can go ahead and get dressed and get the hell out of here. I don't care. I won't stop you.
[For several minutes they lay next to each other, each on their backs, close to each other but not touching. They're both confused about what just happened, yet, in an odd way, it makes perfect sense to both of them.
After several excruciatingly silent moments pass, Tea speaks again.]
Tea: Do you want to look at me?
Todd: I've seen you.
Tea: Not there. Not close-up. Do you want to?
Todd: Do you want me to?
Tea: If you wanted to.
Todd: Why?
Tea: I'm not afraid to show you. I'm not afraid of your touch. I'm not afraid to be with you. You know that.
Todd: I've never known that.
Tea: I've told you over and over.
Todd: I never believe you...not for more than a few seconds.
Tea: I'm not lying to you. I'm not playing any games with you.
Todd: Everybody plays games...all the time.
Tea: Not me...not with you.
Todd: Since when?
Tea: Do you trust me?
Todd: What the hell kind of question is that?
Tea: It's the kind that you're asking me all the time. I need you to answer it now. Do you trust me?
Todd: It doesn't matter.
Tea: It does to me. Do you trust me?
Todd: Didn't we just have this discussion three years ago?
Tea: We need to have it again. I need to know if you trust me. Do you?
[Todd doesn't respond.]
Tea: I trust you...completely with my body and as much as I can with my heart.
Todd (his voice lowered): It's not very much.
Tea: It's more and more every day.
Todd: Because we do more and more stuff?
Tea: That's probably part of it. Every barrier we cross without disaster striking does bring us closer.
Todd: This whole trip has been one disaster after another.
Tea: Is that how you view our time together and the progress that we've made?
Todd: Progress? You can't even keep your eyes open when we do stuff anymore.
Tea: Because it's getting too close.
Todd: Why is that?
Tea: I don't understand.
Todd: You can do everything that we've done, and a bunch of stuff we haven't done yet, with other guys and it's no big deal, right? Why is it such a big deal with me?
Tea: Because...it didn't matter with those other guys. It didn't matter to me emotionally. It didn't matter to me how they felt. It didn't matter if they enjoyed it. It didn't matter if I enjoyed it. It didn't matter what happened when we finished. It didn't matter if they got up and got dressed and left right away. Many times, I was the one jumping out of bed and rushing off, needing to get away. Even if it was my place that we were at, I would get up and go into the bathroom. Or, I would pretend I was hungry and go to the kitchen. I would go somewhere to get away from it...from the way I would feel afterwards.
Todd: How would you feel?
[Tea doesn't respond. Todd finally turns his head and looks at her again. The tears in her eyes begin to fall as she stares into his eyes, wanting to be in his arms, wanting him to take away the lifetime of pain that she feels trapped inside herself with.]
