He was a mess. Standing there watching her fight and struggle with the attendees was more than he could bear. He stroked the frame of the door en-caging her now, realizing there were more than emotional walls separating them now. He didn’t like how helpless her desperation made him feel. Self-control wasn’t his strong suit.
Tea was screaming, her voice, deep and primal. Todd’s only thoughts were of her and how this must have been the sound she emitted through the darkness of the night in the woods, dominated in that cabin, all those horrific nights with Powell. It broke his heart to just stand there and do nothing. His mind took him back, flashing like bubbles trapped in time, to his own primal screaming and the helplessness of not having anyone to step in and save him from the beast that was his supposed father. He closed his eyes, trying to make the images stop, of him, lying on the floor, his father, pounding on his back in long steady strokes with the buckle end of a belt. His mind’s eye now took him deeper into this daymare, this vivid reminder of how far Peter Manning had actually gone that night. He could hear Peter’s voice whispering in his ear, diabolically describing how he would make this night one Todd would never forget. He shook his head, fighting off the voice. He flinched. His body shook in a spine-tingling spasm that forced his eyes open.
There she was. He saw Tea, her face being forced down on a gurney they had brought in as a weapon in their mighty battle to control her. Her eyes were wide and wild. Blood stained spots decorated the once pristine gurney. Their eyes met. They locked. He could tell she was trying to tell him something, but now her throat was also being pushed into the gurney and she looked like she was having difficulty breathing. One of the attendees was pressing hard down on the back of her neck, to assist in her total domination. All his civilized instincts were purged in that eye contact and survival took over. Not his survival, well maybe a little bit his own, because he was suffocating watching her writh in such pain. But her survival seemed to be at stake and that, he couldn’t bear. Todd tore open the door and ran ferociously toward the attendant on top of Tea’s neck. He threw him to the floor and using his body and his elbows he was able to get the other two men off of Tea, releasing her from their hold, from their control.
Todd: (screaming to the men) Get out! GET OUT! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!
Tea backed into a corner in the room, sliding slowly down the wall, her legs giving out below her.
Todd: (two of the men guardedly approaching him from both sides) You want a piece of me, COME ON! COME ON!!!!!
The men stood still, looking at each other for a moment and then decided that Todd Manning was not someone they wanted a piece of. It was obvious these men were afraid that they would have instead been torn to pieces. They assisted the third man out of the room. Todd ran to Tea, where she folded over and collapsed in his arms. Moe stood at the door, watching Tea calming in Todd’s arms.
Moe: She needs help Todd.
Todd: She needs me right now. It can wait for a few minutes. You can help her, but not like this. And not right now. (He glared into Moe’s eyes.)
Moe: Five minutes Todd. That’s all I can give you.
Todd: That’s all I’ll need. And for now, she has all she needs. (Turning his attention and his words to Tea) Tea, are you okay? Tea, can you hear me? Tea, please talk to me.
Tea: I don’t want to talk. That’s what started all of this. I just need you to hold me. And keep those men away from me. Please keep them away.
Todd: I can’t keep them away forever. Your arm needs looking after.
Tea: It wasn’t you.
Todd: What wasn’t me?
Tea: The reason I didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t your fault. I’m not scared of you.
Todd: Are you sure?
Tea: Would I be like this right now if I was?
Todd: You never do whatever the hell it is I think you want. I think you’re afraid of everyone Tea.
Tea: I just don’t want to talk about it. I can’t remember that now. I can’t.
Todd: Then don’t talk. Let’s let them look at your arm. I’ll stay with you, if that’s what you want.
Tea: No drugs. I don’t want to sleep. Don’t let them make me sleep.
Todd: Does he come to you in your sleep?
Tea: It all comes back to me in my sleep.
Todd: Everything?
Tea: Everything.
Todd: What about us? What about our time together at my mother’s cabin? Does that enter your dreams too?
Tea: Don’t make me do this. I can’t do this.
Todd: You’re stronger than you think, Delgado.
Tea: I’m not as strong as you give me credit for. I’m not perfect, Todd.
Todd: Who said that? I’ll kill them.
Tea: I do. I say it.
Todd: Then I guess I can’t kill anybody today.
Tea: Stop it! (Tea gets visibly upset, her body shaking.) Stop it! Stop talking about that.
Todd: About how perfect you are?
Tea: (whispering) About killing people. I can’t take that.
Todd: I’m sorry. But you’re going to have to forgive yourself sometime, Delgado.
Tea: Forgive myself? You of all people don’t know what you’re talking about.
Todd: Fine. Look. We don’t have to talk.
Tea: Will you stay with me while they do this? (She holds up her arm, noticing her blood has gotten all over his clothes.) Oh God. Your shirt.
Todd: Forget it, Tea. I have forty more just like it at home. I said I would stay.
Tea: And hold my hand?
Todd: And hold your hand. That’s what a husband is supposed to do, right?
Tea: I don’t know. But it’s what I want you to do.
Todd: If that is what you want, that is what you’ll get.
Todd motioned for Moe to enter the room.
Todd: (To Moe) She’s better now. Where do you want me to take her, to get her arm fixed up?
Moe: Todd, we still have to sedate her.
Todd: NO! You hear me? I said NO! Tea’s eyes grew wide again. She pushed her head into Todd’s shoulder. He didn’t need her to say a word. They were communicating just fine and Todd Manning was at his best negotiating.
Todd: There will be no needles, there will be no sedation.
Moe: Todd, she needs to be…
Todd: (interrupting) Do as I tell you or there will be no patient to administer to.
Moe: At least let us use restraints.
Todd: You just don’t listen, do you? Okay, we’re out of here.
Moe: How can we be sure it won’t happen again.
Todd: I never said it wouldn’t. But it will be my problem to handle, isn’t that what you said before, doctor? You said I had to handle this? (Moe shakes his head yes.) Then get out of my way, tell me where to take her to get this fixed and don’t get in my way again.
Moe: All right. Follow me.
Todd scooped Tea up and held her tightly in his arms. She curled up tightly, secure in his arms and comforted by his strength. Her body was almost limp, she had lost so much of her energy and her will to fight. How desperate he could feel the situation holding her in his arms, walking down the hall in front of the a great deal of the 13th floor staff, their eyes all upon him as he carried her through the malay. He could see they were the freak show of the day and he knew Tea would hate this. He pulled her in tighter, making her head rest inward toward his chest, next to his heart. He talked to her, whispering near her ear, so only his voice could be heard through the crowd of onlookers.
Todd: It’s going to be okay, Tea. I promise. It’s going to be okay.
Tea: And you keep your promises, don’t you?
Todd: I’ll keep this one Tea. I WILL make this happen.
Todd stayed with Tea as they sutured her arm and held her hand until she fell asleep on her own. He could see her twitch in her sleep, nightmares evident, but at the moment, bearable. Her face was contorted and he could tell she was remembering. But at the moment, whatever the thought, it seemed tolerable. He contacted a private nursing service and had them send over a nurse to his exact specifications. He wanted an older woman, compassionate but strong and who would only listen to him. He couldn’t believe his dumb luck. About an hour later, a woman approached Todd, who was still sitting beside Tea, holding her hand.
Todd: Who are you?
The somewhat attractive older woman stood there in front of him, assessing the situation. Todd’s mouth gaped open as she introduced herself. She was about six foot tall, long brown hair with a moon shaped flaw on her right cheek. She was about ten years older than him and talked with a proper English accent.
Miss Perkins: I’m Miss Perkins. I’m from the agency. I understand my instructions and I won’t let you or your wife down. I’ll hold her hand when it needs holding and I’ll notify you the second she starts to stir. If she has nightmares, I’ll call you as well. I’ll take good care of her. Not as good as you, probably, but I’ll do my best.
Todd: You’re more like me than you know. Too much, I’m afraid. (He places his hand on his face and shakes his head, trying to shake the feeling her image is causing him to remember.) Here’s my cell number. I expect to be notified about anything and everything. I want you on call 24/7. Is that a problem?
Miss Perkins: For what you’re paying me, I’ll be your shadow.
Todd: You don’t know how true that seems at the moment.
Miss Perkins: I’m sorry? (She is totally confused by his comment.) What are you saying?
Todd: I mumble a lot. I’m used to it. You’ll get over it.
Miss Perkins: As you wish. Now go and do what you need to do. I’ll be here with her. I’m not going anywhere.
Todd: There’s a spooky thought. All right. I’m leaving now. But I won’t be long and call me if anything happens.
Miss Perkins: I will.
Todd reached down and kissed Tea on her forehead.
Todd: I would suck the bastard from your head if I could. Fill your head with visions of sweeter dreams. Think about the air ponies. (Tea’s face softened and she cracked a semi-smile.)
Todd looked back one last time as he left her room. He walked down the hall, to the elevator and out of the building. He entered his car and sat in the darkness of the parking garage, almost abandoned due to its location. He slammed his hands against the steering wheel. He beat them until they hurt. He slammed his head against the wheel until his head was bleeding. He was physically tired and emotionally drained.
Todd: (to himself) How will I ever be able to do this? I can’t get through the day with my own problems let alone to find the strength to carry her. (He caught his reflection in the rear view mirror and stared. He heard a voice from somewhere deep inside talking back at him as if using his eyes as some sort of warped transmitter.) “You can do this Tom. You’re very kind and very, very strong.” (As his mother’s voice trailed off he saw himself differently as he stared into the mirror.) I can’t do this alone. (The voice returned.) “You’re not alone. You’ve never been alone.”
Todd regained his confidence and pulled himself together. He drove to the house where the girls were and slowly approached the entrance. Starr ran out of the house, having heard his car pull up and ran out the door and jumped into his arms.
Starr: Daddy! I missed you Daddy! How’s Tee?
Todd: Tee’s not doing so good right now.
Starr: Don’t be sad Daddy. Tee will get better. Can I go and see her?
Todd: Someday.
Starr: Come inside. I want to show you my real Freddie that Judith and I found out back. Can I keep him? Can I keep him?
Todd: Whatever, Starr. I’ll come see him in a minute. I need to go check on Marissa.
Starr: She’s quiet. She doesn’t say much. Who is she, Daddy?
Todd: (Not quite sure how to answer the question) She’s a friend of mine. (He hesitated, Starr’s obvious confusion apparent in her eyes. He bent down on Starr’s level to make direct eye contact.) Starr…she’s Tee’s daughter. And I want you to be very nice to her.
Starr: I will. Daddy? (Pause and thinking) Is she my sister?
Todd was definitely confused on how to answer this question. He had promised Tea the truth from now on and he knew he owed Starr that much as well.
Todd: I’m not sure, Starr.
Starr: How can you not know?
Todd: It’s complicated Starr. I just want you to play with her and be nice to her. She’s been through a lot.
Starr: Me too! I’ll be good Daddy.
Todd: I know you will Starr. Now run and play. Let me talk to your…let me talk to Marissa. (He could hear the hopefulness in his voice, almost slipping and calling Marissa Starr’s sister. His eyes searched the rooms for this little fragile moptop. When he entered the library, he noticed that Judith had moved Moose in to that room.) (To Moose) So are you a smart bird?
Moose: Feed the bird.
Todd: So far, so good. I hope you’re a good listener as well. I have lots of things to talk to you about today. So where to start? What am I supposed to do?
Moose: Feed the bird.
Todd: Worthless animal. You’re probably not a bird at all. You probably ARE a moose.
Todd could feel something tugging at his shirt. He looked down and saw her puzzled eyes staring at the blood all over his shirt. He reacted by trying to tuck in some of the more prominent stains, hiding them from her gaze. He saw her mouth starting to form words and couldn’t quite make out what it was she was saying. As he moved his ears closer to her lips, he heard her and his heart stopped.
