Todd throws Tea’s hand back down toward the bed. She caught him in the act. He jumps up from the bed. He had wanted to make a clean getaway before she awakened and instead, he got caught, literally, Tea handed.
Todd: I thought there was a bug on it. I was just getting it off your hand.
Tea: You always have MY best interests in mind.
Todd: No actually I was hungry and I ate it. So I guess I had my own best interest in mind.
Tea: What a lovely thought to awaken to.
Todd: Beats the alternatives.
Tea: Whatever shall we do today?
Todd: Well, I’ve been actually thinking about that. And I’ve got some plans.
Tea: Am I included in those plans?
Todd: I’m a not gonna tell you. But I do guess I could force myself to spend some time with you today. But you’ll need to contact my social secretary and make an appointment.
Tea: And will you tell her to accept or reject my call?
Todd: I’ll get back to you on that one.
Tea: I bet you will.
Todd and Tea awkwardly make their way about the cabin, getting ready for the day. Todd is in the kitchen, picking on different food in the fridge. Tea goes in and out of the bathroom, taking care of the morning essentials. She ends her normal morning routine by beginning to brush her teeth. Todd enters the bathroom.
Todd: What are you doing?
Tea: (stopping in the middle of brushing her teeth and talking awkwardly through her mouth full of toothpaste) Isn’t it obvious?
Todd: Yeah, it’s obvious, but what I meant is, what is that white crap you’re using on your teeth?
Tea: It’s all natural toothpaste Todd. You bought it for me back at Ralph’s remember?
Todd: Yeah, well, I’ve wanted to try it ever since you got it, you mind?
Tea: Be my guest.
Todd picks up his toothbrush and puts a huge glob of gunk on his brush, so much so that a big glob plops down on the bathroom sink. They both look at the plop sitting there on the sink and laugh.
Todd: What? I’ll buy you more.
Tea: I bet you will.
Todd begins to brush his teeth.
Todd: Eeeewwwww. Blah….(spitting into the sink) What is this crap?
Tea: I told you Todd, it’s all natural toothpaste.
Todd: I can’t believe it.
Tea: Well it is. See. (Holding the tube up to his eyes) It says so right here.
Todd: That’s not what I don’t believe. I can’t believe people actually pay good money for this, this glop.
Tea: I’ll buy it next time then.
Todd: We’ll see about that. I’m conservative about what goes in my mouth.
Tea: I could make a suggestion or two about that one.
Todd: Watch it Delgado.
Tea smiles. She has many suggestions and her mind is racing at the sexual connotation that the conversation seemed to take so quickly.
Tea: So what will we do today?
Todd: I have some errands to run in town. You’ll be all right here alone?
Tea: I take it you want some alone time of your own?
Todd: You could call it that. Unlike popular belief, I’m not a troglodyte. I just got some things to do.
Tea: I’ll be fine here.
Todd: I’m outta here.
Tea: I’ll be right here when you get back.
Todd: It’s all right if you leave the bathroom. I think that’s within the rules.
Tea: Oh, so there are rules now?
Todd: There are always rules Tea. You just don’t always follow them.
Tea: Me? I don’t?
Todd: Okay, so maybe both of us bend the rules.
Tea: Bend?
Todd: Okay, break, shatter, smash, fracture, rupture, split and basically tear apart the rules.
Tea: Silly me. All this time I thought the rules were just off somewhere, with the shoe.
Todd: Huh?
Tea: Never mind.
Todd: I’ll catch ya later.
Tea: You can try.
Before Tea has two seconds to realize what Todd’s about to do, he reaches in and kisses Tea lightly on the lips.
Todd: Ciao.
Todd walks out the door and down the stairs. He starts the engine and let’s the car warm up a bit. The car is filled with snow. He quickly throws his arms about and uses them as a warped kind of snow shovel, using his coat sleeves to clear his windows. Tea watches from the window, laughing at his gestures. She even sees him fall over backward into the snow. He gets up quickly and looks around, as if he can feel eyes watching him.
Tea: (aloud) Caught ya! (she chuckles)
Todd gets in and starts the windshield wipers. As soon as the front and back are totally cleared, he pulls out of the driveway and onto the nearby snow filled road. Tea watches until the car is out of sight.
Todd, realizing that the car is out of Tea’s sight as well, stops the car in it’s tracks. He wants to know what Tea will do all day long without him. He’s very curious to see how she will spend her day. He pulls the car off to the side of the road and walks back quietly in the snow toward the cabin. Tea won’t even know that I’m there.
Tea cannot stand the quiet of the cabin. The silence is unnerving. She reaches for her CD’s and chooses one that will liven up the cabin quickly. She places it in the CD player and turns the volume up full blast. (Not knowing Todd is back and watching her, the noise of the music is just what he needed. He won’t even have to be as quiet as he had thought he might.) She looks at the rest of her CD’s and pretends to be a DJ. Holding her hair brush in her hand, she places the handle near her mouth.
Tea: (aloud) Next on ZTNT will be Me encanta como bailas by Luis Alberto Florez, followed by Sonora Carruseles and Rumba buena. And be sure to listen for the mystery song today by Los Nemus del Pacifico. First caller to correctly identify their song will receive two tickets to warm, sunny Puerto Rico. Ah…Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico sounds so good right about now. I’m sick of the snow. How many of you out there are sick of the snow like me.
Todd raises his hand. He laughs to himself adoring watching her playing DJ. She takes her CD’s and starts to look through them. She places each one of them on a finger and spins them childishly. Two of them roll off her finger and to two different spots in the room. She gets up to get them then realizes she’s alone.
Tea: I’ll get them later.
She walks around the room, strutting to the music and swaying her hips. Todd smiles watching her and realizing she’s totally benign alone. She’s not trying to leave and she’s actually not snooping this time. But maybe he’s spoken too soon.
She strolls over and gets her coat. She puts her shoes on, but he notices that she isn’t wearing socks. “She can’t be going far,” he thinks to himself. He watches her stroll out the side door and out to her spot. Even he has realized that she has a favorite spot here at the cabin. Will she ever know that it was the exact same spot that he sat at many an afternoon, all alone, thinking his dreadful thoughts, missing her like crazy. Time after time he sat in that chair, wondering how he could possibly make it all up to her…wondering exactly what it was she was doing at that exact moment. He always found himself wondering off to his car and somehow meandering his way over to Llanview to see what she was doing. He always left Llanview in a worse way than when he arrived. He always just wanted to grab her and run, hoping she would want to come, but never brave enough to confront her. He always made a side trip to check up on Shorty and almost always found her irritating the hell out of Asa. Satisfied that she was doing as she should and totally living out his fantasy of bugging Asa on a daily basis, he left Llanview always without Shorty, always without Tea and always alone. But not this time. This time he had done it right. He would make her want to stay. He wouldn’t screw it up this time. He would try the hardest he had ever tried before and this time, he would make it work.
Todd hadn’t noticed that Tea had brought a notepad and pen outside with her. She had bundled up in her blanket and began writing. She wrote for what seemed like hours. What could she possibly be writing? A note to the police to come and rescue her? A note to RJ to beg him to come and find her and take her back? Her last will and testament? She was certainly prolific this day. She didn’t seem like she would ever stop writing. But she did.
Tea began walking again and he hoped against hope that she wouldn’t walk to his side of the porch. She didn’t. She walked the opposite direction, allowing his stalking to continue for a while longer. He watched as she noticed the thin, handle like wood, sticking up a few inches above the snow.
Tea: Whatever on earth could this be? It almost looks like a bird perch. I wonder if Todd let Moose have his freedom here in these woods. I sure do miss Moose.
Todd: I miss him too. But he has a freedom of a different kind.
Tea: (startled) Todd!
Todd: I didn’t mean to scare you.
Tea: When did you get back? Where’s the car?
Todd: I never left.
Tea: You’re still spying on me? I don’t get it Todd.
Todd: It’s really very easy Tea. Why would someone like, like YOU, stay with someone the likes of me.
Tea: Maybe (she starts off slowly) because I like the likes of you?
Todd: Either that or your just as crazy as I am.
Tea: Todd, what happened to Moose? Did you set him free too?
Todd: Nope. He up and died on me. I brought him out here to the woods, to keep me company and tell me bad jokes and he pulled the funniest joke of all on me and died.
Tea: When? How?
Todd: About a week ago. He was upside down on his perch out here and I thought he was just playing possum. But after a couple of days and he still didn’t move, I realized he wasn’t kidding. He kicked the bucket without even moving.
Tea: So am I his replacement? Did you just need someone to talk to who didn’t answer you back with anything smarter than “clam sauce?”
Todd: Now that you mention it……
Tea: That’s it. Moose has been replaced by me!
Todd: You were on your way here for months. You just didn’t know it.
Tea: Todd, I’m sorry Moose died on you. I’m sure it was very traumatic for you.
Todd: It was bothersome. I had to dig a hole and everything. Even said a prayer over his grave.
Tea: Did you cover it in lilacs? Okay, bad joke.
Todd: I’m sharing something here with you and you’re making bad jokes. You’re not building that trust thing very well, Delgado.
Tea: I’m sorry Todd. I know how much you loved him.
Todd: I didn’t love him. He was just this thing that I hung out with, that’s all.
Tea: Oh, silly me. What was I thinking? I shouldn’t have used the L word.
Todd: The L word gets you in trouble. You’re proof of that.
Tea: Me? I’m proof?
Todd: Well look where loving you has gotten me? I’m standing on a snow filled porch, in the dead of winter, talking about a dead bird that I thought I was going to have to find a home for on the occurrence of my death. Instead, he beat me to the punch. He was so much like you.
Tea: What does that mean?
Todd: He just affected me, he was my friend and left me here all alone to deal. You’ll do the same thing.
Tea: No I won’t Todd. And I'm your friend too.
Todd: You're not my friend, you're my WIFE!
Tea: Can we go inside, now?
Todd: See. You’re already trying to get away from me.
