The car door jerked open at last, letting in the infinite black space of a cold mountain night, and Todd growled sullenly to a still-shaken Tea, her wide eyes betraying the fear running through her. "Out," he said. Her eyes moved down the length of her frozen legs, she saying nothing.
The ride had been brutally terrifying, of course, unsurprisingly. Todd had driven the sports car as it was meant to be driven - at breakneck speed, without regard for laws nor the lines in the road nor the sensibilities of a mostly delicate passenger. At one point, the car had edged toward the side of the cliff and Tea had found herself on the verge of tears, afraid of what could happen if they went over. Her eyes had drifted to the stars and she held tightly the door handle, afraid ... so afraid. She imagined the car plunging into the river below, wondered what it would feel like ... to hit the cold water. Then at one point, suddenly, the car had veered dangerously, sliding across the road heading for a rock wall and then it jerked back toward the edge of the cliff again and she reached out to Todd, grabbing his arm, her nails digging into his skin. In a ragged voice, turning to him, she begged, "Slow down, mijo ... please ... you're scaring me ..." Mijo, she had called him ... a term technically meaning, "my son," but one Latina women used often to refer to their lovers. One she used to use with him ... in their more tender moments, those he'd permitted himself to have.
And in response, for the first time during that wild ride, Todd had glanced at Tea ... his eyes flashing the concern of a man she had once loved. His foot released the gas and the car slowed ever so slightly, enough to ease the dangerous trip. A spark she'd seen in that moment ... but like a flicker of electricity loose from a live wire, it vanished quickly and he returned to his job of spiriting the two of them to his house. However, while brief, his passing concern encouraged Tea, suggesting to her that maybe El Diablero ... hadn't been entirely lost to the night. Maybe ...
"Don't play games, Delgado - get out of the fuckin' car."
"I can't ..."
"Why NOT?"
"You scared me ... I can't move ..." She whispered her last words ... and he respected her need for recovery. He rocked back on his heels and studied the house, Tea watching his eyes move from one side of the residence to the other as she took deep breaths to settle herself, to get ready to deal with him. After a few short minutes of working to regain her strength, she blurted, "What were you trying to do? Kill us both?" While he considered an answer, her muscles relaxed even more and along with a renewed sense of safety - at least temporary safety - Tea's anger returned. "What the hell do you want from me anyway, Todd?! And how could you pull me out of that place the way you did?! You made me lose my things! DAMN IT!!"
He crossed his arms, not answering her, simply staring at her coldly.
"Oh that's just great, get me here ... and now I'm supposed to guess what it is you want. You're a real piece of work."
Without warning, he pulled her to her feet and dragged her toward the house. Tea couldn't contain her shock and fury at his roughness with her, Spanish words flying out of her mouth and she punching at his unmoveable body, he not flinching at her efforts to stop him. The more she fought, the harder he pulled her ... and the angrier she became. Finally, ducking his head to avoid a hard swish of her fist, he managed to unlock a side door which led to the kitchen and pulled her inside violently. Slammed the door shut with such force that the air literally vibrated throughout the room and screamed of permanence. He let go of her at last and kept a distance from her, she ending up in the center of the huge room, the low light emphasizing Tea's bruised sense of ego, her features crumpled with hurt. He appeared almost bemused at her being so ruffled.
After some tense seconds of reorientation, she screamed, "You SHIT!!" all the while rubbing her wrist where he'd been holding on to her far too tightly.
"My goodness, your language has really deteriorated," he quipped. "What kind of people you hanging out with nowadays?"
"Fuck you, you bastard!"
"Okay, now you're scaring me. I mean ... you've said it a bunch of times already - since when do you use that word ... ‘fuck'?" He said it with an element of sexiness, said it ... clearly ... precisely ... slowly. A smirk threatened to break out. Tea's mouth parted slightly in sickening recognition and Todd watched her lips .... and then he grinned openly. "Oh yeah ... I know where you learned that word - to say it out loud. Wasn't that fun? Wasn't it just so ... dirty?"
She squeezed shut her eyes, disbelieving his humiliation of her ... she weakened at it. Dropped her head, covered her face with her hand. How dare he talk about their time together, their hungry moment ... how easy for him to rip out a precious, truthful interplay and send it flying over the edge of a cliff. Empty ... hallow, disgracing her.
"She remembers," he said under his breath.
Shaking her head, she fought like crazy the memory of making love with him. Ironically, they'd found themselves unable to wait for the bedroom ... and instead, chose the kitchen smaller than the one they were in now, later at night than now, both of them drunk from too much wine and too much attention to the other. In one sudden rush on her, he had picked her up and pressed her against the wall, asking her wetly to say the word ... whispering in her hear as he thrust into her, so eager - so wanting her. Say it, Tea, tell me to fuck you ... say it ... say it ... And she did ... growled furiously as she had grabbed onto him ... as she held him to her and loved him with everything she had.
Fuck me, baby ... you fuck me ... god, god ... oh god ... I'm gonna die I love you so much ...
"Stop it, stop ..." she asked hoarsely, forcing herself away from the image. Running away from it. "What's happened to you?"
"Nothing ... I'm just reminding you-"
"I don't CARE!! Don't REMIND me!! None of it doesn't matter anymore ... the point is ... MY point it .... the only thing that counts RIGHT NOW is that ... that you nearly killed us out there!! And you hurt me ... and you continue to hurt me!! Why?! WHY?!! I told you I had no intentions of blackmailing you or anything like that!! I told you ..."
He breathed noisily ... and walked over to the counter, leaning back against it. His eyes roved Tea's body, watched her try to rub the soreness out of her arm, rubbing away the feel of his hands on her, the memory of it - fuming at him. He made a noise with his lips, a smacking sound that caught Tea's attention.
"Sorry," he mumbled. "I wanted to talk to you about something. But after everything you've been saying, I didn't think you'd come here ... voluntarily."
"You were right," Tea snapped. She felt oddly in charge of the moment thanks to the softening of Todd's behavior, thanks to his being somewhat pacified. He made her feel right, seemed to assure her that in fact she'd been wronged by him. That he realized his crudeness, his mistreatment of her in this ... kidnapping. Except that thing still lurked in his eyes, that joke still played on his lips. Instantaneously, she understood he did it on purpose, to get her to drop her guard. As he'd been for the past week, the reality was, he acknowledged NOTHING.
He nodded his head, making a show of acquiescence, and leaned across the barren counter to grab a bottle of scotch lying on its side. Poured a little into two matching tumblers. He took both and handed her one. She accepted it, reluctantly. He cheered her ... made a face telling her it was okay to drink. She did ... sipped the liquor, never stopped eyeing him. She watched him down the drink quickly, then pour himself more. Downed it ... then dropped the glass clumsily on the granite counter top. No question, the fast intake of the alcohol affected him - made her think that maybe he'd been drinking earlier. Had to be, to be pushing his high tolerance. He smiled at her. And walked close up to her ... too close.
"Talk to me, Tea."
"What do you want to know? More about my use of the word, ‘fuck'?"
He grinned a little. Kept his eyes on her mouth. "I already know all about that. No ... tell me everything else ... about you. About your ... little ... cute ... border-town life ... living cozy with your gay roommate." He chuckled nastily. "Bet you feel safe, huh? Bet you he's real good at making you feel ... deprived. Familiar territory, huh, Tea?" He blew into Tea's face and she popped back. But instead of getting angry at him, she laughed.
"No ...no ... you're not going to goad me into some sort of female hysteria. A slap across the face ... a puff of anger ... so you can get the opportunity to drag me into some other room in your big ... cold ... damp ... dungeon of a home." She smiled at him. "Nope. I'm done. I've put on enough of a show for you to last a while."
She started to walk past him and he instinctively grabbed her arm ... but he let go when she glared at him.
"Talk," he said.
"You want me to tell you about the evidence I have."
"Yeah."
"Obviously."
"So tell me. What do you have?"
"Ohhh ... not so fast."
He bit down on his teeth, his jaw visibly tightening. He reached over the counter again, grabbed the scotch, poured some more into the tumbler. Cooly, he drank quickly. Tea left the room at that, venturing into the living area. She figured if he wasn't going to let her leave, she might as well get familiar with her new prison. Walking with her hands clasped behind her back, she checked out the details. Candles flickered brightly in the corners, stuck into strange iron holders. The flames created dancing shadows against blank walls painted an unusual shade of green, the artificial recessed lights set purposely low. The floors boasted unique patterns etched into wood tiles, so unique she was sure the flooring must have been imported from a European monastery. She remembered seeing something like this back in college, during a semester abroad. She noticed that no pictures or photographs graced the large austere fireplace mantle. No pictures anywhere. The few pieces of furniture ... plain, massive. The stereo stood on its own, an art piece.
Above all, coldness ... overpowered everything, isolation. In fact, when she thought about it, it seemed to her that the room didn't really allow for guests. Not enough seating ... no place for a host to be the center of attention for his friends or family. Nothing in the room to draw them in or keep them there. Unless you considered the heavy locks on the front door. Feeling his eyes on her, she turned to see him in the entranceway, hands pressed on the doorway, he filling the space. He locked eyes with her. She folded her arms across her chest protectively, the temperature of the room dropping. She shivered and pulled away from his gaze.
"Cold?"
"Yes," she answered. She noticed her jacket missing - somewhere in between the restaurant and this very room, she'd dropped it. Couldn't remember taking it off ... couldn't remember what she'd done with it. Wool slacks and a thin sweater was all she wore. Not enough. All at once, the fireplace lit up, hugely. He chuckled ... "A trick I learned," he said.
El Diablero, Tea thought. My god .... "A trick?"
"Yeah ... it's called a timer."
Tea laughed out loud, "You jerk."
He smiled at her, almost laughed, too. "Feel better?" He asked after a couple of moments.
Tea stood staring into the brilliant fire burning wildly. She shrugged ... how could she ‘feel better'? The man she'd thrown away a life and love for, had either become something terribly different than she believed him to be or he had shed all appearances of normality ... had stopped every effort to become that "better" person that he had seemed to want to be. He walked behind her and placed his hands on her arms ... spoke gently.
"I haven't changed, Tea," he said, as if he had read her mind.
"You gave away a baby, Todd, without concern for his future. I don't understand it. I've never known you to hurt a child. I would have staked my life on that fact."
He ran his hands lightly up to her shoulders, squeezed her tight muscles, kneaded them. She let him - it felt good, safe. He wouldn't hurt her - wouldn't press for more, she knew. "Good thing nobody asked you - good thing your life didn't depend on my potential for badness."
"How do you feel, now?"
"I feel nothing. I'm sorry it was my kid that ended up on the chopping block. I'm thankful things ... changed ... and the truth came out."
Tea reached up and stopped his hand from touching her further. She turned slightly to him. "You sounded angry at Blair earlier. Didn't sound like, ‘feeling nothing,' to me."
Releasing her abruptly, he strolled over to the stereo ... crossing the room. He pressed some buttons and music began playing. A waltz. Odd choice, Tea thought. He listened for a second, smiled at a lively part ... and then came back over to Tea. Studied her, tilted his head, taking her in. "Still beautiful," he said softly. "Still so nosey."
"You told me a tale, a long time ago, about where you went after the trial. You told me you traveled the world - you told me all kinds of things about that time. You told me ... a story, didn't you? Lies. A travelogue made up to satisfy my nosiness. Right?"
He glanced away, lifted his shoulder a tad. "Maybe."
‘I want the truth, then, in exchange for my truth. You explain to me ... how you could give away a baby - and I will tell you the goods I have on you. Does that sound fair?"
Todd chewed on his lip, briefly closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose. "Why is everything a deal with you?"
"Because that's how life IS. Everyone gives up something in exchange for ... other things. Money for products, safety of one's heart for love, freedom for others' safety. Everyone hopes they'll win in the end ..."
"I don't like that game."
"What game do you like?"
"I don't like games, period. They're stupid and a waste of time."
"So how do you live, then?"
"I take what I want."
"You have to give up something, though. Don't you?"
Todd thought a second, again, a hint of a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "What do I give up? Money?" He shook his head slightly. "I never give up what the possessor gives up. They lose their property - they never have it again, they never get to enjoy the ownership of it again. They will always know that they lost it ... to me. That I had the power to unfold their tight ... closed ... fist ... and take what was theirs."
"Sounds like you're taking more than property."
"I always take more than just property, Tea. You of all people should know that."
Tea's temper ... got the best of her. "And why ME?! You're saying you took more from me than Marty? Or Blair? Or anyone of your victims? Why ME?! Because you got off the most out of humiliating me? Or ... mocking me? Or ... using my most personal things ... against ME?!"
Todd didn't respond in kind, saying quietly. "Yes ... you. Because ... none of those people loved me. I never took their ... love."
The music had changed at that moment, the waltz gone and leaving in its place the delicate, pings of a piano ... fluidly the tones rang out, circular, hurried steps down a staircase, running, running far from the rest of the symphony. Run, run ... stay alone, don't let the others catch up. Tea tried to move away from him, but he stopped her, grabbing her hair, holding on her to her body, too close to him ... to close to the fire, the heat ... she could feel it ... he's so angry, now.
"I took your love," he rumbled, "and with it, I took your soul. Isn't that what you told me? Isn't that what you cried to me? Well did you ever think of what you took from me every time you walked away from me? Did you ever think about my soul that dragged behind you? Huh? You left me, Tea ... not the other way around. You agreed to come with me, hell or high-water ... but you fucking left."
"You were dead, Todd - you had no soul for me to walk away WITH!! And until I walked out of your life that night, I didn't know just how right I was!"
"Well you were WRONG!!"
"Let go of me!!"
"I will never let you go ... because you're mine. You always were. Then ... and now. You're never leaving me. Ever."
A wind whipped up outside the house and a broken-off branch smashed against the window, the leaves and brush pressed tightly against the glass. A blizzard had started outside ... and with another shuttering blast of wind, the power went out. No music anymore, no artificial light. Tea looked at the simmering gaze of Todd and he looked back at her ... expressionless. He bent towards her and took her lower lip in between his teeth ... bit down lightly. Let go.
