It wasn't that she had nothing better to do with her time than to study her estranged lover, it was ... coincidence, it was ... Tea's uncanny good luck. Coincidence ... that she had left New York City bound for new opportunity in the small but blossoming Texas border town of La Chapata, a place which boasted colorful scenery, a warm population and the draw of bursting-at- its-seams business development. Within a month of her arrival, Tea found herself a beautiful duplex to call home, the weathered outside walls painted in vivid turquoise, the front door splashed with yellow, windows broken up by solid burnished wood. She shared the peaceful abode with a new friend, Francisco Fuentes, a private detective she'd met her first week in La Chapata - at a Chamber of Commerce meeting, oddly enough.
They had hit it off immediately, he teasing her about her Puerto Rican Spanish, she teasing him right back on his poor English-ridden Spanish - and from that moment on, they considered themselves buddies. His handsome face and easy way made him a wonderful partner with whom to attend networking meetings and other such social obligations geared towards drumming up clients for Tea's law practice and Francisco's investigation business. His sexual orientation made him safe - distinctly not dangerous ... distinctly no risk to Tea's bruised heart.
Quickly they moved into the duplex and equally as quickly formed one of those life-long friendships which included the sharing of contacts and clients. One ... interesting case in particular. That of a middle-aged childless couple who had "adopted" a parentless baby ... the new family a perfect match. Or so they thought.
"Left at the doorstep," Francisco had said casually, munching on a carrot stick.
"What do you mean ... left?" Tea hadn't believed it ... it sounded too ... cliche.
"Left ... left. One evening, a strange man walked through the shadows of the night ... and deposited this basket-ed angelic creature on their doorstep. Like out of a movie." He spoke dramatically, his green eyes large, expressing exaggerated shock at the situation.
"So how are you involved?"
"They wanted me to find out where the kid came from. Wanted me to help make it legal ... they love ‘el pequeno.'"
And so it started. Tea had met the "parents" ... and immediately empathized with their sad situation because she understood the ache of loving a child whose presence is tenuous and conditional. The fleeting smile ... the kiss on a cheek ... the giggles that soon become ghostly remembrances. In response to their familiar predicament, she agreed to provide the research on their legal options ... while Francisco in the meantime pounded the proverbial pavement searching out the trail the baby had traveled. The "parents" paid him well and he pulled no punches in digging up the history of the child. As such, after only a few weeks ... information started to come in. Drops here and there, a couple of other "parents" who had cared for the baby. And finally, one bright day while padding around in the year-round heat near Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, Francisco hit pay dirt: he found the midwife who helped deliver the baby ... had found her and had sweet-talked her into spilling what she knew.
Tea remembered the phone call from Mexico ... Francisco talking ... yelling this story excitedly ... and innocent of the impact he was making on his new friend. The lines had cracked and static covered up some of the words ... but not enough to prevent her from hearing a horrible truth. "Crazy bastard ... away the baby ... the mother ... birth ... name ... Todd Manning ... ‘El Diablero' ... believe that??!! HA!! Heard ... rich son of a bitch. Gave .... the mother's kid! You there?? Tea?? You there??"
She had nearly dropped the phone, "like out of a movie," as Francisco would have said, the truth coming across the wires like electrical sparks. She had asked him to repeat the name of the man once again and he did so, louder and more clear - with more details. Un Americano, Todd Manning, had given away a newly-delivered infant to a known con-man ... and the mother ... the still-bleeding, the not-yet-lactating mother, had been told by the midwife and by Mr. Manning that her precious baby had died. Too small to survive. Facts ... coincidence... Tea's uncanny ability to find "el bueno suerte," the good luck.
"Madre de dios," she had muttered into the telephone. "Madre ... de dios."
Tea sniffed at her memories, cleared her parched throat and released her hair from the band holding it up. Shook out her hair which had grown long. Drank the iced soda popping before her and resumed her note-taking, surrounded by the murmur of dining folks in the quaint cafe right outside Llanview. Her watch read 7:30 p.m. and she chuckled sardonically to herself, wondering if Todd had the nerve, the balls, to come here. She doubted it ... because in her mind, a man who would walk away from an infant is a coward ... or is someone who ought not present themselves in proper company. Either way, Todd's bluff was sure to fall through.
Through the simmering conversation, the jangle from Tea's cell phone cut through her angry thoughts and she answered immediately. "Yes?"
"I neglected to tell you that I don't like being ... scrutinized."
Tea took a deep breath, glanced around the restaurant. She couldn't see him. The nerve ... the outright, raw nerve, she huffed to herself. "Goodbye." She pressed the "send" button and shoved her phone into her purse. "Sh*t ..." Why was this a surprise? He seemed to be following her, studying HER ... scrutinizing HER. Her stomach jumped and the soup no longer looked appetizing. Worst of all, his line was familiar ... he had said it one night to her - while she studied a scar gashed alongside his belly. I don't like being scrutinized, he had breathed huskily as he'd lifted her to lie on top of him, as he encouraged her to kiss him rather than look at him. The taste of his lips ... haunted her. How soft and delicate that kiss had been. Her hand thumped softly against her chest, she shaking her bowed head. That same mouth, those same lips, had told a lie meant to rip apart someone's heart ... had told a mother her baby, her sweet gift from God ... had died.
And she felt him again, felt that stare ... she gathered her things, her purse, her notebook. Dropped a twenty on the table and blustered out of the cafe, muttering curses beneath her breath. Her shoes scraped against graven and the night seemed darker than most nights. She saw her car across the lot and the moon lit its champagne color, made it the color of moonlight itself, silver and cloudy. Her breathing hastened because she sensed he was around her and he was crazy as a fox, there wasn't any doubt ... who knew what he was capable of anymore ...
She closed her eyes a moment ... and tried to ignore the sweet scent of his sweat swooping down on her ... she had to get to the car first.
"You got a lot of f*ckin' nerve," he growled from behind her.
"Jesus Christ!! You scared the hell out of me!!"
"Sorta my plan ..."
After taking a calming but cautious breath, Tea noticed that his features reflected something different, the cool mystery gone, his confidence clearly shaken. She narrowed her eyes, asked carefully, "What's wrong with you?"
"Nothing. Except maybe your nosy ... prying ... ways."
She licked her lips nervously and wished she had her soda back in her hand. Wished she had stayed back at La Chapata. "You used to like that about me."
He said nothing - he continued to stare at her unwaveringly.
"What am I being nervy about? You said I had ‘nerve.' What did you mean?"
"Coming here ... with that kid ... so what did you do? Did you walk into that house, the hero? The woman rescuing Blair's ... baby? Huh? Did you tell her, did you tell some lies, Tea?"
"You're upset about something. What is it?"
"Shut-up .... you don't know me. This isn't upset ... I'm ... uh ..." His hand went out slightly as he looked around the parking lot, looked like that black crow again ... eyeing a couple who shot him curious glances, the barest of sneers lifting his lip. He wiped his mouth and bit his lip ...
"You're nervous, Todd ... kinda jumpy." Tea leaned forward, her possessions held to her chest as if a shield, looked into his eyes and after a second grinned knowingly. "She lied to you, didn't she?"
He exhaled a noisy puff of air ... then sniffed ... ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek. "What the f*ck ever. This isn't about me." He shoved his hands into his coat pocket, his eyes roving the lot again ... regaining his control over the situation at hand. Opened his light eyes ... seemed to look right through Tea. "This is about you. About you coming here ... and sticking your nose in places it doesn't belong."
"Like I said, there was a time when you appreciated my doing that."
He quieted ... and for a second, seemed sad. It passed. "Not anymore ..." All of a sudden, he grabbed her arm and began pulling her in the opposite direction of her car, she fighting him, starting to scream at him.
"Let go of me!!! TODD!!"
"Shut up and get in the damn car ... NOW!!"
Her things had dropped to the ground, her purse opening ... little bits of her life spread out on the gravel ... the moonlight shining down on them. Including her revolver. There had been no one outside the cafe and her brief shouts went unheard. Todd yanked the door open to his black Mercedes and shoved her inside, giving her an angry look when Tea kicked him in the shin. He then had smiled and slammed the door. Locked the door with his key ... he chuckled as he stood outside watching her trying to open the door - but it didn't thanks to a safety device. He shook his head and walked around to the driver's side after a while, after seeing that Tea had stopped her efforts at getting out, and quickly got in.
Tea had settled into the black leather seat ... determined not to let him scare her, not to let him win over her with this ridiculous manly show of power. He didn't start the car - rested his hands on the steering wheel, he leaning back against the heavily reclined seat. He sighed and turned to her.
"She lied to me," he said softly. "Months and months ... hundreds of times telling me it was Max's spawn. Reminding me, over and over that she loved Max, that she didn't want to ever have a kid with me - that she was glad she wasn't carrying my baby. Months of that sh*t. All a lie."
"How do you know? You believed her yesterday, what happened?"
"Nothing ... I saw her, I guess. I saw the kid ..." He shrugged. "I asked her point-blank if it was mine. She said, yes. I told her we had to agree on some kind of custody ... deal ... and ... um ... she told me to go f*ck myself."
"You hear that a lot, don't you?"
He shot her a look ... and continued. "She then said ... a peculiar thing. She said, ‘I knew you'd pull this garbage from the very beginning.' I asked ... what beginning? Beginning of what?" He appealed to Tea, his features crumpling with bewilderment, reminding her of a condemned man ... facing the executioner ... an innocent man. "You know what I mean?? Beginning of WHAT?"
"What did she say?"
His face changed, his lips spreading into that bitter grin ... the one Tea remembered from long ago ... "She dropped the comment faster than hot lead ... got all flustered ... got all nervous ... said, ‘Since I found out it was yours ... since ...'" He paused, the bad-tasting set of words sticking to his tongue ... "‘Since ... yesterday.' Lying ... BITCH!!!" The hands that had been resting on the steering wheel balled into fists and he pounded them one time against the leather ... he shuddered with desperate control ... took a deep breath. Wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Leaned back again. "F*ck."
"Well - it's easy now. You get a lawyer ... you get custody ... joint custody ...and you work out your life. Although ..."
"Although ... what?"
She didn't want to say the obvious. That Blair ought not give up any kind of custody - that Todd ought not have visitation with any of his children. "Although ... although ... you have a bad history when you fight over children. You need to think ... a two-way street ... you need to think ... communication." Tea fell over her words, stumbled along the jagged rocks of reality. "Jesus ..." she murmured.
"Jesus, what??!! Say it, Tea ... say what you want to say!"
"Let me out of this car."
"No. Let me hear you say it."
"I already did!! Do we need to go over it again?!!"
He said nothing.
"Talk to me ... GOD ... give me something to hang on to here ... tell me WHY I shouldn't go to the cops with what I know ... and tell me why I shouldn't be afraid of you ... or why I should think you won't kill me for knowing what I do know. Tell me ..."
He shrugged ... her words flowed over him, dissipating against the cold glass window. Unmoved, he caressed the goatee beginning to grow in, stared straight ahead. "I can't take away your fear ... you do what you want with ‘what you know'. You don't have any real proof ..."
"Todd ..."
"I didn't do anything wrong. I did what I had to do."
"What does that mean?"
He ran his tongue over his lips ... his voice soft and resigned. "I don't know ... I didn't think anything of it."
"Did it even cross your mind that it was yours?"
"Sure."
"Todd?"
"What?! Look Tea ... I don't know who you think I am ... but ... whoever that is ... you better rethink it. You have no proof ... of anything. Blair ... ha ... she'll get hers. She has the kid ... it's good now ... great. She'll know where her lies ... her ... uh ... lies ... where they'll get her." He cleared his throat.
"I loved you."
"And I ... you."
"We were good together."
"Yeah - I guess."
Tea reached out and placed her hand on his, his eyes moving to the touch. "Blair had a baby once with another man ... you grew to accept that baby ... at least, you were headed there. What changed with this one?"
Her thumb caressed his skin ... and he continued to study her show of affection.
"Todd? Tell me ..." She could see him formulating the reason, the justification ... the logic. He furrowed his brows, the tip of his tongue darting out, peeking out ... about to explain ... maybe ... perhaps ...
He grabbed her hand, tightening his grip, she gasping in surprise, "I'm tired of being hurt, do you understand?"
"I'm not going to hurt you ... it's not my intent to hurt you."
"Everybody hurts me ... do you get that? Not a single person in my life doesn't hurt me. EVERYBODY ... hurts me. They say they love me and then they ... hurt me. They tell me they are on my side ... and then they jerk the knife into my gut and f*cking TWIST it ...do you understand what I'm saying?? DO YOU??!!"
"Yes ... yes I do. I have always understood that ..."
He shook his head wildly, "No ... no ... no. Because if you DID ... you wouldn't BE HERE ... you would be back where ever you come from and burning whatever information you have on me ... so that no one EVER sees it, EVER reads ... EVER comes after me ... for WHATEVER I MIGHTA DONE!! But you're NOT doing that, are you??!!"
The two wouldn't release each other from their mutual visual hold on to the other. Tea shook her head ... "I can't do that."
"WHY NOT?!!"
"God ..." She started to cry at how hard he held her hand ... at his desperation ... at how old anger had shown up ... at how the new coldness still ran beneath the heat. "I loved you! To let you go ... to watch you burn up ... how could I do that? Destiny put me in your path ... I don't know WHY ... it just happened. WHY did I learn about this? You know I didn't search you out ... a baby came into my life ... a family wanting to know answers. I watched a road unfold ... a story unfold and it led to you. I can't ignore it!! I couldn't ignore it!! Providence led me here ... and damn if I'm going to ignore it! I'm here for a reason ... and I'm not going anywhere until I finish the journey I was pushed to start."
He loosened his grip of her ... his face registering no expression, no reaction. Tea searched him for a glimmer of the humanity, for that vulnerability again ... finding none. He let go of her and reached for the keys he'd thrown on the dash. Started the engine ...
"Where are we going?" Tea asked, a hint of fear shadowing her words.
"My house. Buckle up ... darlin'." He grinned at her ... El Diablero darkening his beautiful face ...
