- Why do people sit in stands?
- Why do people park in driveways and drive on parkways?
- Why does every Back to the Future movie have the same basic plot?
- If a highway was built across the Atlantic would the european cars crash with the american cars because of the lane laws in Europe are opposite us?
- Why does every country use Metric except the U.S.?
- Why are our units called "English" when the English use Metric?
- Why are there cites in Siberia?
- Who makes up languages?
- Why can't we all learn the same one?
- If it's night time wouldn't the lights be in the tunnel and not at the end?
- Why is there a "W" sound in "one" but no "W" and in two there is a "W" but there's no "W" sound?
- What the hell is up with the word "often"? Is it "off- ten" or is it "off- en"? But why is there only one "f"? Shouldn't you say it, "Uhv-ten"? Who comes up with this stuff?
- Who invents games? really? I mean some of today's games are just so stupid. Take golf for instance. Hit the ball drive to the ball. get it in a hole in some giant field. take it out and hit it agian! Geez!
Why English is So Hard to Learn...
- The bandage was wound around the wound.
- The farm was used to produce produce.
- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
- We must polish the Polish furniture.
- He could lead if he would get the lead out.
- The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
- Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
- A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
- When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
- I did not object to the object.
- The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
- There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
- They were too close to the door to close it.
- The buck does funny things when the does are present.
- A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
- To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
- The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
- After a number of injections my jaw got number.
- Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
- I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
- How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
... a few other points...
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine
in
pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in
France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are
meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it what writers write but fingers
don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
One
goose, 2 geese.
So one moose, 2 meese?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you
have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do
you call it?
Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it
out
and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race, which, of course,
is not a race at all.
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights
are out, they are invisible...
Oh, and by the way... Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"
E-mail: project_aquamonkey@hotmail.com
