I love British politics ever since I read Churchill. Watching the British General Elections is an event. I would tune in to PBS or C-Span and watch people running for Parliament seats. The results for each district would be televised and announced. The candidates would stand in a line and then, the clerk would announce the number of votes for each candidate. The candidates are quite confident in their suits and ties. Especially the ones in the banana colored suits and top hats.
WHAAA?! Top hats?! Yellow suits?! It meant one thing: The Official Monster Raving Loony Party is there! This party is really a party, bringing hilarity in British politics. Their ideas make people think about taking action. Seeing these guys inspired me to be affiliated with them. This party was started by the late British rock 'n' roll musician Screaming Lord Sutch in the early 60s. At the time, the voting age of Great Britain was 21. Because of his early efforts, the voting age is 18. In his top hat and Loony attire, he ran for Parliament every General Election unsuccessfully, but for the love of it all, he stuck to his guns. Already, the Loony party in its history had a mayor and a few councillors. This year they are at it again, with a slate of candidates for the House of Commons.
After Lord Sutch's death, there was a split between the party concerning the order of operation. The Rock N Roll Loony Party is the result.
British Membership in the OMRLP is two-tiered: The regular membership is 10 pounds a year and it comes with a shirt, a rosette, a newsletter, and a certificate of insanity. (By the way: their slogan is "Vote insanity. It does make sense.") Of course, there is a free plain and simple membership in which you do not get the goodies but you get to run under their auspices. Lifetime Membership in RNRLP is only 10 pounds. In America, the United States National Official Monster Raving Loony Party is the main autonomous branch and is affiliated with the Rock and Roll Loony Party. There is a 10 dollar lifetime membership fee.
Each Loony has their own "loony name" in which they made up themselves and use for general election. They also pick their future cabinet positions in case they get a majority in the Commons.
I am known as the Right Honourable Peachy Keen Jellybean and I am the aspiring Minister of Amateur Radio and Noogie Administration. Others have even more wackier offices, like the Minister of Long Hair or the Minister of Defence (and De Gate). That's about it for the basics of the party, so the next time you see a guy with a hat shaped like a banana on C-SPAN, don't call the funny farm!
Noogie Administration
Light, playful noogies are good for you! It massages your scalp
and provides the necessary daily requirement of Vitamin N. Vitamin
N deficiency is not good as it makes people susceptible to stiff necks,
loss of humor, and lack of humility in the most severe cases. The
following people are at risk of Vitamin N deficiency: politicians, CEOs,
chairmen, professors, chancellors, school principals, and muckety-mucks
of all stripes. If you personally know such a person, go up to him and
ask permission to administer a noogie to his head. If he says yes,
a light one will suffice.
"Rogaine Noogies" should be given to those who deserve it. For example: people who beg and evoke pity in telethons/PBS pledge drives, pop divas, and the members of the CSPI (who also should be fed Twinkies).
Amateur Radio
Schools should include Amateur Radio as part of their science curricula.
The American Radio Relay League has the "Big Project" that encourages the
use of Ham Radio in schools.
Major ham radio corporations should look in past April Fool articles in QST and develop these products.
The FCC should not only suspend/revoke the licenses of incorrigible hams, it should administer the Wouff-Hong to them. Riley Hollingsworth is the perfect administrator of the Wouff-Hong.
Sundry Items
I do encourage people to celebrate their own accomplishments and things
that matter in their lives. That is why I propose celebrating any
of these observances listed in this
link. Many of these events aim to gather people together
upon a common liking. Public School teachers can build a lesson on
any of these holidays while the kids enjoy it...and actually learn something.
I myself have a special observance that commemorates the day I passed my first Amateur Radio exam (Technician Day, held on 3 August). Hams should observe their day of their first exam passing as it reminds them of when they are Young Squirts themselves. How much I've learned between then and now!
Jellybeans enriched with vitamins should be made and sold in stores. And since jellybeans are low in calories and non-fat, some extra vitamin C would not hurt.
Those annoying Lakers (or any other sports team) car flags suck! Unless you're part of the team in any way or it's championship day, don't put them on! I wish the police would ticket the bozos who put more than one on their car...especially when it's more than a week since the Lakers won!
