Back to part one



*****

In the cargo bay where the Farscape module was housed John was sprawled across the workbench, asleep. He had been trying to read blueprints, but his eyes had been burning with fatigue, so he had decided to rest them, for just a minute. That had been two arns ago, and he was now entering REM sleep.

In his mind the nightmare was beginning, Larraq holding Aeryn, the knife at her throat. As events headed towards the inevitable conclusion, something strange happened. He heard Zhaan calling his name. The voice pulled at him, drawing him out of the dream. He raised his head, blinking, trying to focus on the here and now. He heard the voice again. "John, I need to talk to you. Can you hear me? Are you there?"

"Yeah, Zhaan, I'm fine. Sorry I didn't respond right away. I was concentrating and didn't hear you. What's up?"

"I'm sorry to be bothering you with this John, but it's about Aeryn."

John had been leaning forward, rubbing his face but when he heard this he jerked upright in alarm. "What's wrong with Aeryn? Has she had a relapse? Where is she?"

Zhaan replied soothingly, "Nothing is wrong, at least not yet. I told her yesterday that she could get up and move around some today. I meant light activity of course, but she informed me at breakfast this morning that she was going to do her exercise program. John, that is too much movement in her condition. Could you please talk to her? She might listen to you."

"I'll try, but I'm not sure that she'll listen to me either. Aeryn can be pretty pig-headed at times." John heard Zhaan murmur 'pig-headed' and quickly said "It's just an expression Zhaan, it means she can be stubborn."

"Yes, Aeryn can be stubborn. She insists that she needs to get back into shape as quickly as possible. I have no objection to her exercising, I only object to the type of exercise she is insisting on doing. Please speak with her John; try to get her to see that it is too soon." Zhaan paused, then continued in a thoughtful tone, "If only there was some other kind of exercise she could do, something physical enough that she would feel it was helping her, but gentle enough that it won't cause her harm. Perhaps there is there some kind of exercise from your world that you could teach her?"

John thought, physical yet gentle. At first nothing came to mind, then suddenly there was an image. Slow graceful movements, one flowing into the other. "Yeah Zhaan. I think that I may have something I could teach her. It's been quite a while, so I'm pretty rusty, but I just may have the solution. The problem will be getting her to pay attention. Where is she?"

"Aeryn left us about a quarter of an arn ago. She said that she going to the cargo bay that she has converted to her exercise room." Zhaan projected worry into her voice. "John, please hurry. I'm afraid she will hurt herself."

"I'm on it." John rushed out of the room.

Back in command, Zhaan called Aeryn on her com unit. "He's on his way. It shouldn't take him long to get there. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Zhann. Pilot has a DRD stationed in the corridor. He will let me know when John is getting close." Aeryn turned her back to the doorway. He had to think that she didn't know he was coming. She tried a few experimental kicks. Frell, that hurt!

Pilot's voice whispered through her com unit. "Officer Sun, he just passed the corridor junction."

Right. Time to start. She began the punch, jab, and kick movements of her exercise routine.

Behind her John yelled, "Aeryn! What the hell do you think you're doing? You're not in any kind of shape to be moving like that yet!"

"I'm fine, Crichton. I know my limits." Aeryn spun around to continue the argument, saw his face, and gasped. Chiana was right, he looked terrible. He had lost weight. His skin was drawn tightly across his cheekbones, the color a dull gray. His eyes were sunken in and the black hollows under them told of his lack of sleep. Oh, John, she thought in pain, what have you done to yourself.

John heard the gasp, saw the expression that moved across her face, and assumed that she was in physical distress. "Aeryn, stop. You shouldn't be moving that strenuously yet. This is your first day out of bed. You need to start more slowly."

Trying to keep her voice aggressive, she replied, "Crichton, I know this is my first day up. At this stage I need to begin exercising the muscles, or they will not heal properly. These are the only exercises I know. Leave me alone, I'll be alright."

"No, Aeryn, you won't be alright. Not if you keep on like this." John sighed in frustration. "If I show you an exercise from Earth, one that I think you can do without hurting yourself, will you try it?"

Aeryn paused, then said slowly, "I don't know. I would have to see you do it first, to see if it really would help me."

"That's all I'm asking, Aeryn. Just watch me, then try it. There's enough movement to stretch your muscles, but it's slow so there shouldn't be any strain on them." John moved over in front of her. He began a series of graceful dance-like motions, each flowing into the next.

When he finished Aeryn was surprised to see him breathing a little harder. The movements had appeared to take no effort, why was he out of breath? Probably because of the shape he was in. "That looked simple enough, but there was no real exercise involved. All you were doing was moving your arms and taking a couple of steps. How is doing that going to help me?"

John grinned. "It's called Tai Chi, and there's a lot more to it than just waving your arms. We learned a little about it in astronaut training. It has been some time since I practiced, but I think I remember enough to teach you the basics. There are several different styles, but they all have the same roots. It's all about using slow, deliberate movements. Here, I'll show you one more time, then you try."

Aeryn watched closely as he repeated the movements. It still didn't look difficult. How could it be useful? She tried to approximate the moves. It was too easy, no effort at all.

"No, Aeryn." John said, "You're not doing it right. You're not standing properly and you're moving too fast. The whole benefit of the exercise is lost when you move so fast."

Aeryn was starting to get a little annoyed. After all, she was only doing this to help him. "What do you mean, I'm moving too fast? I'm doing it the same way that you are. This is just a waste of time." She moved towards the door.

"Wait! Aeryn! Come back and give it another try." John stood for a moment in thought. "Okay, we'll approach this in another way." He moved over to stand close in front of her. "Put your hands on my wrists. Now, what I want you to do is move with me. Don't try to stop or hold me in any way, just let your arms be guided by mine." He began the movements again.

Aeryn closed her eyes so that she would not be anticipating his moves. He was right; his movements were slower than hers had been. Not only that, she could feel the tension in his arms. It was almost as if he was moving against some sort of restraint. Her first thought was that she was unconsciously holding him back, but no, she was barely touching his wrists. When he stopped she opened her eyes.

"Did you feel the difference?" Aeryn nodded. "Okay, now watch me go through the routine one more time, then you try it again."

Aeryn watched closely, seeing for the first time what she had just felt. The muscles in his arms tensing as he moved with such deliberate slowness. She tried to imitate the moves, but from the beginning knew she was still going too fast. "Frell," she mumbled. "That's not right."

John smiled briefly and said, "Relax, you can do this." He put his hands on her wrists and nodded for her to start again. When she started moving, he exerted pressure on her arms, keeping the movements slower. "The principle behind this is control. That was why we were given some training in this type of exercise. We don't have any kind of artificial gravity on our spacecraft. Moving too quickly can be hazardous because, although you have no weight, you still have mass." They finished the routine in silence.

Aeryn was surprised at the effect the slower movement had on her body. When she had tried the first time all she had felt was the moving of her arms. Now, with the deliberately slower motions, she could feel the stretching of the muscles in her abdomen and sides. Not painful in any way, just gentle sensation. How amazing. She had felt more pain getting out of bed this morning.

Standing quietly she waited for John to speak. He was facing her, his hands still holding her wrists. His eyes were unfocused and he appeared to be lost in thought. When the silence continued she began to feel worried. "John? Is that all? Did I do it right this time? Do I need to be doing anything else?" Nothing. She twisted her hands so that she was holding him, and shook him slightly. "John?"

He blinked and focused on her face. "Sorry, guess I spaced out there for a minute. What did you say?"

"Spaced out?" Aeryn shook her head impatiently. "Never mind, explain it to me later. Is there anything else I should be doing? I could feel the difference; so I know I was doing the movements right that time. How long should I do the exercise?"

"Yeah, there are a couple more things you need to know. In fact, I should have showed you these things first. When you do this correctly, you are improving the flow of the body's natural energy, what the Chinese called chi." John moved to stand behind her. "Your feet should be parallel and shoulder width apart with your knees slightly bent. Your spine should be straight and your head lifted. Your shoulders need to be relaxed and don't lock your knees or elbows."

As he gave Aeryn the directions, he moved her into the correct position. Reaching around he put his hand on her stomach. "Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Deep, even breaths that come from here, the diaphragm, not your lungs. When you first start, just stand and breathe for a few minutes. It helps you to relax and get in the right state of mind." He moved back around in front of her.

"If you need to change the pattern of your breathing, or if you feel any discomfort, you are doing it wrong. This is the beginner's routine and you should go through it no more than five times." John put up his hand to stop Aeryn's automatic protest. "This type of exercise offers tremendous benefits, but only if you do it right. Too many repetitions will countermand the benefits. Slow, steady, gradual, that is the name of the game. Five times, first thing in the morning, for one week, sorry 'weeken'. The next weeken try your normal exercises. If you can them without feeling any pain, go ahead. If not, do these again for another weeken."

"Really, John, one weeken? I don't see how such a little amount of exercise for such a short period of time will help that soon. All of our exercise routines last for at least an hour. We were always told that doing less would have no lasting effect."

"The type of exercises you were taught were to build muscle and stamina. These are for mobility and strengthening. It's a whole different set of rules. In fact, it might be a good idea to keep doing them, even after you're feeling better. At least start your normal routine with the breathing. When you put yourself into the proper position and breathe, it helps you to focus your attention. We call it being 'centered'."

Aeryn gave a little laugh, "It sounds like something Zhaan would do."

"I agree. Although Tai Chi started as a fighting technique, on my world today many people use it as a combination exercise and meditation. They see it as a way of getting the mind and body to work together in harmony."

"Show me again how I should stand when I'm doing the breathing. And you didn't say how long to do it before starting the exercise."

"A couple of minutes, around 100 microts, at least. More if you don't feel ready. It's hard to say how long. Some days you will feel ready sooner than others. I don't know how to explain it; you have to feel it for yourself. Just breathe until you feel relaxed and ready to move." John stood in the position, closed his eyes and started taking slow, even breaths.

Aeryn watched and waited for him to begin the movements. Time passed. Surely it had been long enough? Maybe he was having trouble feeling 'ready'. Suddenly, his body began to fold in on itself. "John!" she cried in alarm, and moved forward to catch him. He was a dead weight in her arms. The sudden movement, combined with his weight, caused the healing wound in her side to send shooting pains though her body. She lowered him gently to the floor.

John opened his eyes almost immediately, looking at her in bewilderment. "What happened?"

"I don't know. You were standing there showing me how to do the breathing, then you collapsed. I'm worried about you, John. What's wrong?" Aeryn helped him to a standing position, but held onto his arm as he swayed on his feet.

John put a hand to his head, rubbing at the temple. "I've just got a headache, Aeryn. I got a little dizzy when I was doing the deep breathing. I'll be fine."

"If you're not feeling well, you should go see Zhaan. I'm sure that she would have something to help you feel better." Yes, Aeryn thought, go see Zhaan. I'll get her to give you something to make you sleep. Pilot is right, you need to sleep, badly.

"That's ok, Aeryn. The first time I had a headache after I got here, the stuff I got from Zhaan made me feel worse. I've learned to live with the discomfort."

Frell, she thought, there has to be some way to get him to sleep. I suppose I could use a Pantack Jab, but I only want to do that as a last resort. Aloud Aeryn said, "Isn't there something else that you could do that would help your headache?"

"No. All kinds of things I could do if I were home, but not here. Just forget it Aeryn, I'll be ok. Now, let's see you practice the breathing."

"What would you do if you were at home? Other than take some kind of medication?" Aeryn was now genuinely curious. First a new kind of exercise, now a non-medicinal way of stopping pain. Earth was sounding more and more like an interesting place to live.

"Well, one thing I could do would be to apply a heat source to my neck and upper back. This headache has been caused by neck strain. Putting heat on it would relax the muscles. That would lower my blood pressure and the headache would go away. Simple cause and effect." John gave a slight shrug, "But since I don't have anything that would concentrate heat on the area, I can't do that."

"If relaxing the muscles is all that it takes, couldn't I give you a neck rub? Wouldn't that have the same effect? As a part of our training, we were taught massage. On field maneuvers, after carrying a lot of weight all day, leg cramps were common."

John stared at her in astonishment. "Field maneuvers? You're a pilot, when did you ever do field maneuvers?"

Aeryn shrugged, "Our careers weren't chosen until after our twelfth cycle. Before then everyone was trained as part of an assault team. Field maneuvers were a part of everyday life."

John shook his head and muttered, "Field maneuvers, at age twelve. When did you learn to shoot a gun, at ten?"

"No," Aeryn answered with annoyance, "I learned to shoot when I was five. John, we're getting off the subject. You've been showing me all these new things that will help me feel better, now I want to help you feel better. Will you let me massage your neck?" This could work, Aeryn thought. If I can get him to lie down, I'm sure he'll be asleep in a microt.

"It might help," John admitted. He turned around and bent his head forward, exposing his neck.

Aeryn began massaging the muscles in John's neck and upper back. No wonder he has a headache, she thought, it was like touching steel bars. After a few microts she stopped.

"John, raising my arms like this is putting a strain on my side. If you were to lie down, I could reach your neck easier. I would also be able to apply more pressure. I can't get a really good grip standing like this. Why don't we go back to my quarters? You can tell me more about the exercise. What did you call it?" As she was speaking, Aeryn applied a gentle pressure against John's back, urging him forward out of the cargo bay.

John walked forward, meekly allowing himself to be pushed out the door. He was having trouble concentrating. Aeryn had asked him something, what was it? Oh, yeah, about the exercise. What was it called?

"It's called Tai Chi. Like I said, it's been a while, and I only learned the basics. You have to study for years to be considered an expert. There are many different variations. The really good instructors add their own interpretations to some of the moves, but they all start with the breathing and the beginning posture that I showed you."

John stumbled a little, putting his hand out to brace against the corridor wall. He suddenly felt weak and dizzy. It was hard to keep walking. Aeryn grabbed his arm to give him additional support.

"Just a little further, John. We're almost to my room, you can lie down there." With each step she was supporting more of his weight. They weren't going to make it. "D'Argo, I need help. I'm on tier six, near my quarters."

Now she was extremely worried. John had not responded when she had called for D'Argo. He must be really out of it. He continued to stumble forward, his movements jerky and uncoordinated. His eyes were unfocused, the lids barely open. D'Argo rushed around the end of the corridor, pausing for a moment in shock as he saw John's condition. Coming forward, he scooped John into his arms as if he were a child.

John released his hold on consciousness, and fell into a deep sleep. Zhaan came up beside D'Argo. She laid her hand on John's forehead, looking at the pale color and the dark circles under his eyes. "Take him to the medical bay, D'Argo. I want to run a scan to make sure he is alright."

"No." Aeryn said. "Take him to my quarters. He just needs to get a good sleep. I'll stay with him." She turned and continued towards her room.

D'Argo looked at Zhaan. She shrugged and spread her arms in a gesture that seemed to say 'You're carrying him, you decide.' He followed Aeryn to her room. Entering, he placed John on the bed. Looking down he said, "We have failed him. He never should have gotten to this state."

Standing beside him Zhaan murmured, "I have failed him the most. When he started avoiding us, I should have realized what was happening."

Aeryn stood at the door and gestured for them to leave. "It doesn't matter who is to blame. What matters now is that he gets some sleep. As I said, I'll stay with him. I'll call you if I need any more help."

D'Argo got an indignant look on his face and opened his mouth to say something. Zhaan placed her hand on his arm, shook her head, then said, "Come, sweet D'Argo." She led him out into the corridor.

Behind them Aeryn closed and locked the gate. She pulled the curtain across the opening, shutting out the corridor. Walking back over to the bed, she looked down on the sleeping man.

Pilot's voice came softly over her com badge. "Officer Sun, the dream has been waking him between two and three arns after he goes to sleep. Do you think you can handle this, or will you need some help?"

Quietly Aeryn responded. "I will call if I need help Pilot. Don't worry, I'll take care of John."

Aeryn crossed the room, got a chair, and moved it next to the bed. Sitting down, she thought back over all the things that had happened since she met John. So many memories. Time passed remarkably quickly. The first indication that something was wrong was when John began moving restlessly on the bed.

Looking down at him, she saw that his forehead was beaded in sweat. He moaned in his sleep. Then he cried out, "Aeryn! NO!"

Moving to sit on the side of the bed, she framed his face in her hands. "John, I'm alright. It's over. You're just dreaming."

His eyes opened and he blinked up at her in confusion. "Aeryn?"

"You're dreaming, John. Yes, it happened, but I wasn't killed. I'm all right. Nothing that happened was your fault. We're all fine. Try to go back to sleep."

"You were hurt. It WAS my fault. It was my plan." He tried to sit up, but she pushed him back down on the bed. His eyes widened in surprise when she lay down beside him.

"I hadn't told anyone, but I've been having bad dreams too. Maybe, together, we can get some sleep." Aeryn curled up against his side and lay her head on his shoulder. "Pilot, please lower the lighting in this room."

They lay for a little while in silence. Feeling him begin to relax, Aeryn said, "Sleep well, John."

As she started to drift off to sleep, she heard him murmur, "Yes, to sleep, perchance to dream."

*****

Authors note: To all of you who practice Tai Chi, if I have made any obvious mistakes, I apologize. I checked out a lot of websites and a couple of books. It seems as though each teacher has a slightly different interpretation of how to practice the various postures, as well as variations on these postures. But they all started with the breathing and the beginning stance. I tried to describe it as accurately as possible, keeping in mind that John hasn't done the exercises for a while, and isn't thinking too clearly.

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