From: “Ice”

MULDER: We’ll meet with three scientists familiar with the ice core project then head up north to the Icy Cape. The National Weather Service reports a three-day window to get in and out before the next arctic storm. Bring your mittens.

*****

HODGE: Oh, could we see some credentials?

BEAR: The only credentials that I have is that I’m the only pilot willing to fly you up there. You don’t like those credentials… walk!

*****

HODGE: Alright, parasitic diagnostic procedure requires that each of us provide a blood and a stool sample.

BEAR: A stool sample?

MURPHY: Well this kind of travel always makes that kind of tough... for me.

MULDER: Ok, anyone got the morning sports section handy?

BEAR: I ain’t dropping my cargo for no one!

*****

MULDER: Before anyone passes judgment, may I remind you we are in the arctic.

From “Space”

MULDER: Not to mention the certain fringe elements who accuse our government itself of space sabotage. The failure of the Hubble Telescope and the Mars Observer are directly connected to a conspiracy to deny us evidence.

SCULLY: Evidence of what?

MULDER: Alien civilizations.

SCULLY: Oh, of course.

*****

MULDER: You never wanted to be an astronaut when you were a kid, Scully?

SCULLY: Guess I missed that phase.

*****

SCULLY (to Mulder): Didn’t you want to get his autograph?

*****

MULDER: I have to admit, that fulfilled one of my boyhood fantasies.

SCULLY: Yeah, it ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning how to braid my own hair.

From “Fallen Angel”

MULDER: I didn't know they had room service.

SCULLY: This isn't funny, Mulder

*****

SCULLY: My assignment is to bring you back, not to help you dig yourself deeper.

MULDER: “The Last Detail” starring Dana Scully.

*****

SCULLY: What’s going on?

MULDER: Looks like housekeeping hasn’t been here yet.

*****

MAX FENIG: I saw your picture in a trade magazine once. And, of course, I read your article in Omni about the Gulf Breeze sightings.

MULDER: I published that under a pseudonym.

MAX FENIG: M.F. Luder. I know. Luder is an anagram for F. Mulder. You really didn’t think that would fool us did you?

MULDER: I didn’t think anyone was really paying attention.

SCULLY: A-mazing.

MAX FENIG: Amazing? Hardly. You want to see something amazing? Come with me.

MULDER (looking at Scully): *Enigmatic* Dr. Scully.

*****

MULDER: Do you hear that sound Scully? *Picks up crutches* Hammer and nails. they’re building a gallows in the town square. Don’t worry. *Scully bends down, picking up a large envelope* It was only a matter of time. *Hands envelope to Mulder* I’m surprised I lasted this long.

SCULLY: Good Luck

MULDER: *Limping on crutches* I’ll break a leg.

From: “Eve”

SCULLY: Death by Hypovilemia. 95% blood loss. That’s over four litres.

MULDER: I’d say the man was running on empty.

*****

SCULLY: Mulder, why would alien beings travel light years through space in order to play doctor on cattle.

MULDER: For the same reason we cut up frogs and monkeys. Besides, they seem to have stepped up their interest.

*****

SCULLY: Do you still believe this is UFO related? Cindy Reardon didn’t see red lightening.

MULDER: I don’t know. The only thing similar about these girls doesn’t seem to be their appearance.

SCULLY: Well, there seems to be the random possibility that two people can have unrelated likeness.

MULDER: Who both just happen to see their father’s exanguinated. I’d like to get the odds on that in Vegas.

*****

SCULLY: The girls are the one and only link between identical murders.

MULDER: One girl was just abducted.

SCULLY: Kidnaped.

MULDER: Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

*****

MULDER: I'll tell you what... I'm going to sleep on it and we'll talk about it the morning.

SCULLY: Mulder, you're rushing me out of the room.

MULDER: No, I'm not.

SCULLY: You got a girl coming over?

MULDER: What's a girl?

*****

DEEP THROAT: Are you sure she hasn’t followed you?

MULDER: Yes, what are you doing here?

DEEP THROAT: I was hoping we could take in a Warriors game.

*****

EVE 6: Cut off the chains... then we’ll talk.

MULDER: They’re probably there for a good reason.

EVE 6: No. Bad reason. I paid too much attention to a guard. Bit into his eyeball.

*****

EVE 6:This replication of chromosomes also produces additional genes. Heightened . Heightened intelligence.

MULDER: Heightened psychosis.

EVE 6: Save the best for last.

*****

SCULLY: We just found the car at the airport.

MULDER: She might have ditched it. The manager said this woman checked in with a little girl. That she leaves the hotel in the afternoon by herself, was gone all night and returns the next day with the little girl.

SCULLY:Someone else could have picked up the little girl without the manager knowing it. The place is crawling with vacationing families. There would be hundreds of little kids running around.

MULDER: No, he remembers this kid. She told him he should use chlorine to irradiate the dinoflagellates in the swimming pool. Does that sound like someone we know?

SCULLY: That’s it!

*****

MULDER: SCULLY! (After finding out they had been poisoned)

SCULLY: What?

MULDER: I just wanted to open the car door for you.

*****

MULDER (to truck driver): Back off. We’re federal agents.

TRUCK DRIVER (Motions at the Eves): Yeah, and these are America’s Most Wanted?

From: “Fire”

SCULLY: I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.

MULDER: Well, that’s one of the luxuries of hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

*****

SCULLY: It’s open.

MULDER: What?

SCULLY: It’s unlocked.

MULDER: That’s weird. I’m sure I locked it.

SCULLY: Must be an X-File.

*****

SCULLY (indicating to a cassette/tape): What do you think it is?

MULDER: Ten to one you can't dance to it.

*****

PHOEBE GREEN: Aren’t you going to to thank me?

MULDER: For what?

PHOEBE GREEN: Saving your life. One tends to not make the same mistake twice.

MULDER: I’ll try to remember that.

PHOEBE GREEN: Oh, come on, don’t tell me you left your sense of humor in Oxford ten years ago.

MULDER: No, actually. It’s one of the few things you didn’t drive a stake through.

*****

MULDER: Dana Scully, this is Phoebe Green, terror of Scotland Yard.

PHOEBE GREEN: Hello.

SCULLY: Hello.

PHOEBE GREEN (whispering to Mulder): She hates me.

*****

SCULLY: Three-pipe problem?

MULDER: That’s, uh... from Sherlock Holmes. It’s a private joke.

SCULLY: How private?

MULDER: Um... we knew eachother in school in England. She was brilliant and , uh... I got in over my head and uh... paid the price.

SCULLY: Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower.

*****

SCULLY: Yeah, I noticed how you couldn't drop everything fast enough in order to help her out.

MULDER: Oh, I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.

SCULLY: Oh, is that what you were extending?

*****

SCULLY: So, Sherlock, is the game afoot?

MULDER: I’m afraid so Watson. But you’re off the hook on this one.

*****

PHOEBE GREEN: Deftly done, Agent Mulder. Casually disregard her indiscretion. A firm but polite manner until she accedes to co-operate.

MULDER: It’s a technique I refined in my relationship with you.

*****

MULDER:It doesn’t look like your arsonist is going to make an appearance.

PHOEBE GREEN: That doesn’t mean there won’t be any fires to start.

*****

SCULLY (in Phoebe's accent): Care to take me to lunch? *Pauses* Scare you?

MULDER: You have no idea.

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