.........Unfortunately I am much like Captain Jack in "Dead Mans Chest". My compass points nowhere, and everywhere at the same time. I know where I have been, and I have a broad idea of where I am going, but for the next step? Now that's quite a question.

I know my heart is for Sudan and youth. I would love to be youth pastor/missionary. I have several gifts that are useful for these things, all though some of them are underdeveloped. I am working on one of them. Writing is among the ones I have not developed but I am working on.

I am now a gas station attendant. Being paid 9.00/hour. I am living in a small apartment and am in lots of debt with not enough income to cover my debts. I need to make a lot more money then I am making to get out of debt. I want to be out of debt so that I can go into full time ministry and take care of my family. Which is just my wife at the moment but would like to expand that to include kids as well. I love kids and want kids but right now that does not seem like a viable option, so we wait.

Now I know what I need to do. I need to trust in him with everything. Just like i did when I was on YWAM staff. Just like I had one friend tell me "Isaiah I miss being on Staff, because even if you did not know where the money was coming from, at least you knew it was coming." that is so true. Even if you are working at a job, it seems harder to take care of things then when you are completely living by faith. Every day needs to be an exercise in faith. You need to trust in him for everything, every day every week, month and year. This is what I am not doing.

Matthew 6:33 (Amplified Bible)

33But seek (^[a]aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (^[b]His way of doing and being right), and then all these things ^[c]taken together will be given you besides.

I need to do this. I know the answer and I hope all my friends can help me do this. This is why this post!

well so much for my first blog. Drop me a line and let me know what ya think.