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Diddly Squat
'Here I sit, broken hearted,
dime to shit, butt only farted.'
toilet humor scrawl on stall walls past
on cost of bowel movements passed.

So long ago, it goes to show
inflation's up the ass, you know
Skip to my loo, you had to pay,
once one thin dime's two bits today.

Paid my quarter and now it goes
I washed my hands and blew my nose
I shaved my beard and took a leak
that lasted for a bloody week.

Economy's the key, you see
to pinch out value, when nothing's free
Conserve water if you please, for
that I leave these words to tease

If it's yellow, let it mellow
If it's brown, then flush it down.
If you sprinkle when you tinkle
Be a sweetie, wipe the seat-y.

Those who write upon these walls,
Roll their shit in little balls.
Those who read these words of wit.
Eat those little balls of shit.

Aquí me siento
las nalgas aprieto
dando a luz a un
bebé Texano.— Una vez muy cueya Javiar 619-0864

Here I sit
cheeks a-flexin
giving birth
to a Texan!

I charged my phone doubled in pain
while passing kidney-stones again,
intense screams could've been much louder,
I gagged a verp of turned corn chowder.

Stale beer and Greyhound from Dubuque
Caused me to violently puke
Coughed up phlegm and belched and farted
and nearly woke the dear departed.

I dropped a turd like giving birth
I'm going to get my quarter's worth!
I'm getting better at this new math -
Next week I'm going to squirt a bath!

—DisneyWizard

An Ode To Veal
You know nothing different, so it can't be cruel…
I cry for you; I am a fool.
What's it like to never feel?
I ask you this, delicious veal.
You have no life to take away
Locked in this cage where you must stay.
You aren't alive, you are not dead…
You're just a thought within my head.
So, "Bon Appitite" delicious veal
I'm sure you'll make a lovely meal.

—Lisa Berry

Zygot

























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