Yeah, Right…
Chapter 15: Leo



Lance carelessly brushed the tears away from his eyes as he drove down the freeway. The task, however, proved to be difficult, as he tried to avoid contact with the bruises that were already forming there. He could still taste the blood in his mouth, and Justin’s punches continued to sting his face and arms and ribs. He needed to pull over.

Zilker park was coming up on his right hand side, and he made a quick exit into the park, peeling into the vacant lot and parking the 4-Runner hastily. He didn't know what he was doing here. But he did know that JC wasn't here. Nobody was. And he needed to be alone.


JC turned to his coach, who’s hand still rested, comfortingly, on his shoulder.

“C’mon, Chasez, we need to get you home.” Kirkpatrick said softly to the boy.

JC didn't speak, but instead just nodded his head in agreement. He slipped into the passenger side of the red PT Cruiser silently, not daring to speak; afraid that everything would just come out as a mumble and in a gush of tears. He had let Lance go. He didn't know how he was going to get him back now. He had lost the best friendship he ever had.

“Fuck!” He exclaimed suddenly, beating his fist against the arm rest.
Chris’ head jerked towards his student.
“Hey, careful there. PT’s innocent. Aren't you, sweetie?” Chris tried to lighten the mood unsuccessfully; he turned his attention quickly back to the road.


Lance climbed over a small rock quarry to get to the edge of the lake that marked the center of the big park. He imagined what kind of sight he would appear to anybody who he stumbled upon. He knew that the bruises were already turning dark shades of purple and blue on his face, he was lucky that clothing covered the ones he was sure were forming on his chest, abdomen and back. Never mind the bloodstains on his shirt and below his nose and lips. It was pathetic. And here he was alone at the lake.

He found a generous oak tree and sat underneath it, he wasn't sure if his legs would carry him much further then they already had. He used the tree to steady himself and he sat down underneath its extended branches. The last rays of sunlight were reflecting off of Town Lake and the trees that were some distance away were outlined in the mango colored sunset. It was beautiful. A perfect night for a romantic picnic. Lance grunted. He certainly wasn't here to do that.

Then they came. The tears he was holding back in the gym, and that he had wiped away in his car, now fell freely down past his bruises and made wet paths down his cheeks.

“Fuck!” He slammed his fist into the side of the tree as he swore loudly. Ow.


“Thanks.” JC managed to give a weak smile.

“Listen,” Chris’ voice stopped JC from closing the car door. “I don't approve of what they did. You know that. And, I’m ashamed that those are the boys who are on my team. They will be punished. Especially Justin. But, I’m sorry about your friend. Tell him I said that. You’re a good kid, Chasez. But, if you didn't want to return to the team, I would understand. But if you do, I would be honored. And if anyone of them tries to pull anymore shit, they're off the team. Okay?”

JC nodded. “Thanks.” He said again. It was all he could say. He closed the door slowly and made his way into the Bass house.

“Hello?” He called out, but nobody answered. He went into the kitchen and found a note underneath a magnet on the refrigerator.

Lance and JC-
We’re out with old friends, as you know. Don't know when we’ll be back. But if there's an emergency call us on my cell phone or your dads work number.
Love,

Diane and Karen

PS- There's some mac and cheese in the cupboard.

JC skimmed the note. What am I going to tell them? He broke down. He slid slowly down to his knees in the kitchen as he let loud sobs fill the empty house, echoing off the walls in the kitchen and ringing even louder in his ears. His body shook with each sob, and he let his head fall, hitting the cold white tiles. Where was Lance? Why hadn't he come home? He needed to make sure he was okay. He needed him.
I need him.


Lance sat in the same position under the tree, not daring to move just yet. He didn't know where he would go if he did anyway. So he stayed there.

At least I hit him first. His face hurt when his lips curled into a slight smile. But what Justin said had hurt. He had never been called those kind of names before this past week. First with JC, now with Justin. And they hurt. JC. JC hurt.

He hadn't helped him. He stood there, in his precious gym with his precious team and didn't even take a step towards him. That was it. He had made up his mind. He was through with JC Chasez. Done. Over these three weeks, or had it been a month?, he had cried more and hurt more than he ever had. And he was through. He wasn't about to cry anymore tears for him. But, he couldn't control that last few that came sliding down his cheeks with this final decision.

How had it come to this? He was wrong. The first two weeks he didn’t cry. They were bliss.

His mind flashed back to just a week or so earlier when he had held a sleeping JC in his arms, comforting him. How had it come to him sitting alone, beaten, in the dark, under a tree by the lake?

Lies. He had lied to JC from day one. And JC had been honest or tried his best to be. But Lance hadn't been honest with him. It wasn't fair.

Maybe he would've given JC a chance tonight. He thought he was going to when JC wrote him that note and talked to him in the hall. Now there were no more chances. They would live together, because they had to. But that was all.


JC stood up from the floor and made his way back into Lance’s bedroom to lay down. He never remembered being this upset when he and Bobbie had had a fight. The telephone rang, interrupting his thoughts.

“Hello?” He attempted to disguise his wavering voice.

“Hello. JC? This is Hannah. Are you okay?”

Obviously his disguise had failed.
“I’m fine. I really can’t talk right now, Hannah.”

“JC, I know what happened. Brit told me. I really didn't think that you’d be this broken up. He’s just a fag anyway. Want me to come over--”

That was it. JC’s breaking point. “No, goddamnit, Hannah, Lance’s isn't just a fag! He’s an amazing person. And, an amazing friend. And-fuck-I don't know what I’m going to do.” JC all but screamed into the receiver.

“Woah. I’m...I’m sorry.”

“So am I.” He hung up without a goodbye. He didn't suspect she’d be calling back anytime soon, probably never. He didn't care.
On his way back to the bed, something caught his eye on top of Lance’s piano.

His Leo necklace lay on top of a stack of sheet music.


Lance didn't know how long he sat there, contemplating, reminiscing. Not just about being gay or JC. About his family and trips they'd taken together. About Beth and Joey and what great friends they were. About Cory and what a horrible boyfriend he was. He needed to tell his family. After this summer he’d be leaving for college in Dallas and they deserved to know. He knew they would love him no matter what. It might be hard at first, especially with his father, but it needed to happen. Somehow, JC crept into his thoughts. And he actually smiled. Thinking about the last time they were at the park together and Lance had played basketball, and then they’d tickled each other, then looked up at the stars. He loved him then, and it wasn't that long ago. Hell, he probably still loved him now. But there was no way he was ever going to admit that now or act on it.

Anybody who would’ve seen him, would’ve thought he was crazy. Sitting in the dirt, extremely tattered and beaten looking, with a Cheshire cat grin spread across his face, in the rain.

Lance had been so lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed the rain clouds creeping over the sky above the park, or the few beginning rain-drops drip from the branches of the tree onto his disheveled hair. It wasn't until the gentle sprinkling began to turn into a steady fall of spring rain, did Lance notice.


JC picked the necklace up gently, as if it would break if he wasn't careful. He heard a crack of thunder outside and looked out the window to see rain begin to pour. Shit. Lance. Where the hell was he? He ran quickly to the kitchen to find Diane’s cell phone number and call her.

“Diane?” JC began as soon as someone picked up the other line.

“Yes, honey?” she giggled along with other people in the background.

“Um...something happened to Lance.” JC started nervously.

“What?” her laughter faded completely and was replaced with a worried motherly tone.

“Well..” JC didn't know how to explain this. The last thing he wanted to do was out Lance.

“JC, what happened to my son?” Diane now demanded.

“He’s not hurt too bad or anything. He just got beat up by some of the basketball players. I wasn't there when it happened, but I saw him afterwards. He was okay though, because he left. But I don't know where he is. He’s not home.”

“Shit.” Diane cursed. She could guess why he got beat up and wasn't about to question JC further.

“I’m so sorry, Diane. That I didn't help him. Why didn't I hear? Why wasn't I there?” JC began to cry again.

“Shh, its okay..its okay... JC, you stay there. I’m going to call Jim. We’ll go looking for him. I’m sure Lance will come home eventually anyway. But I’d feel better if I was doing something. You stay there, in case he comes home.”

“Okay.” JC agreed, before hanging up.

Come home, Lance. Come home, Lance. JC repeated to himself, willing Lance to hear him, wherever he was.


“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Lance swore as the rain starting pouring under the tree, soaking him throughout. It didn't take long for his teeth to start to chatter once gushes of wind chilled his already wet skin. It was going to take him forever to climb back up the rock quarry when it was raining and he was already having trouble being extremely mobile. He was going to have to risk it. He made his way down the small dirt path, now completely drenched, his hair stuck to his face, and he pushed it out if his eyes when he approached the quarry. The key was too take his time. It wasn't very steep at all, he just needed to take his time.


“Jim?” Diane said nervously into her cell phone. She had excused herself from the dinner, but Karen had stayed. She was now on her way to Jim's office.

“Yes, what's wrong?”

“Its Lance. He...He got beat up. I’m pretty sure he’s okay. But he’s not home, and JC doesn't know where he went.”

“Jesus.” Jim exasperated.

“Well, I don't think Lance would run away, but all the same, I’m worried. Especially with this storm.”

“Yes, I’m worried too.” Jim agreed hurriedly, “We should look for him. If he doesn't show up in a couple hours, we can call the police.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” She paused before she began again. “Jim, there’s more. Something, I should tell you. But not like this. I’ll tell you once you're in the car. I’m almost at your office now.”

“Okay.” Jim didn't want to push her, whatever Diane knew was serious, and he figured he’d want to find out in person himself. He hoped Lance was okay. Maybe it was more serious than Diane led on.


JC handled the necklace delicately, he held it up to his neck and fastened the hitch in the back. He brought his hand up and felt the pendant sitting coldly above his collarbone. JC caught his reflection in a nearby mirror. Perfect. As if on cue, a lightening bolt cut a jagged path down the black sky and thunder roared through the empty house. He gasped at his reflection. Suddenly it made sense, everything made sense. The awkward touches, the need to be with Lance, to have his comfort, his discomfort with Hannah and Bobbie, his reaction to him being gay. He had been lying just like Lance had, but now he realized the truth. He loved him. Jesus, I love him. JC smiled, suddenly the dark room seemed to glow and things looked a whole lot brighter outside. But another lightening bolt and thunderous boom darkened the room, as the electricity faltered and went black, reminding him of the raging storm.

Lance. JC’s smile turned, once again, into a frown. He hadn't come home yet and the storm had only gotten worse. He needed him now, more than any other time. And now he wasn't afraid to admit it. He loved him and he wanted him here now, to hold and...kiss, and tell him that everything was going to be okay. Because it was. He knew that now.


Lance steadied himself with his hands as took the final step up the slick rocks. Finally, he reached the last stretch of a field before he got to his car. He breathed heavily, despite the rain, he was sweating. And ready to go home. He knew JC would be there. But, it was his house and he was tired of having to go somewhere else when he was upset. Especially now, when all he could think about was a hot shower and his bed. He trudged across the field, his shoes caked with thick moist mud as the rain continued to pour, hitting his body forcefully. He gritted his teeth as the rain slammed against his bruises on his back. He was a mere few feet away from his car. He fished his keys out of his pocket, and reached forward now, unlocking his door. He sat bent over his steering wheel for a minute or two, catching his breath, before starting the ignition and heading home. Lance groaned involuntarily. To whatever that would bring.



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