TITLE: you've got spike (15/?)

AUTHOR: michelle/shelly

EMAIL: mwkpdp@prodigy.net, mlwilkins@ucdavis.edu

RATING: R. overall nc17 for icky phone sex and for

xander/spike/anya sex

DISCLAIMERS: all belong to joss and those others. just having non

profit fun.

SPOILERS: through season 6.  but canon has been recklessly tossed

aside for giggles.

PAIRING: xander/spike/anya

SUMMARY:  the morning after the night before and breakfast.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Spike took in the sight of Xander and Anya sleeping peacefully in bed

all snuggled together.  So sweet and peaceful it was.  He desperately

wanted to disrupt the too perfect picture that he was not part of.

"Pets!"  He yelled out clapping his hands.  "Breakfast."  The pair

groaned and moved apart, each reaching out to clutch a pillow instead

of each other.

That was a little better but not by much.

Spike grinned and made a running dash towards the bed, leaping.  He

landed between them with a bounce.  Xander mumbled incoherently and

Anya was propelled off the bed and to the floor.

Spike looked over the edge of the bed at a dazed, waking Anya.  He

tilted his head looking down at her.  "Pet?  You okay, luv?"

"No.  I'm on the floor, Spike.  Without wanting to be or meaning to.

How'd I get on the floor, Spike?"  Anya asked, looking a little lost

and a lot confused.

"Donno, pet.  Bad dream?"  He held out his arm and she took his hand,

letting him pull her up and back onto the bed.

"Morning, Spike."  She mumbled working her way back under the covers.

"I don't believe I was dreaming.  Good or bad.  Did you push me off

the bed?"  Confusion had left her voice and was replaced with a bit of

anger.  Not enough to scare Spike but enough to make him wary.

"I did not, pet.  I'd never."

"Oh.  Okay then.  Did Xander?"

"I don't know.  He's still sleeping."  He looked over his shoulder at

Xander.  "He might have.  I haven't been watching him.  No telling

what he's been up too."  He gave her his best "it must have been the

other guy look".  "You know how he is."

"Well.  He is still asleep, so I'm going to choose to not be angry."

She punched a pillow before resting her head on it.  "For now."

"That's good, luv.  Angry face makes wrinkles I've heard tell.  It's

time to get up anyway."

Anya snuggled the covers around her and turned her back to Spike.

"No.  No it's not.  I'm still sleepy and I don't want to get up.  I

can sleep late.  Giles is going to open the store for a half day and I

promised to be okay with it.  I'm not okay with it, but I'm okay with

the sleeping late part of it."

"I've breakfast ready."

"Do you?"

"I do."

"Biscuits?"

"Yes."

Anya groaned from beneath the blanket she'd pulled over her head.

"From the fun pop open can?"

"Nope."

"Fine!  I seem to be crazily addicted to your biscuits.  So, I'll get

up.  Make Xander get up too."

Spike snatched the blankets away from Xander and yelled, "wake up"

into Xander's

ear.  Xander didn't move.

"He's not waking up, pet.  Biscuits getting cold."

"Hit him.  It's what I do when the alarm doesn't work."

Spike sighed.  "If only I could."

"Oh.  Right.  Move over."  Anya crawled under Spike and slapped Xander

upside the head.  "Xander?"    Nothing.   Anya hit him again.

Xander's eyes opened.  "No.  I'm finished."  Xander rolled over to his

other side, facing away from her.  Anya slapped him again, all cheek.

His eyes scrunched closed tight and he rolled back to face her,

mumbling another "no".

Anya smiled at Spike.  "That's very impressive don't you think?  He

wakes up and immediately goes back to sleep.  I can't do that.  Can

you?"

"Yes.   But he's very clever at it, as you say.  Hit him again, luv,

harder this time.  Breakfast is getting cold."  Spike back crawled

down the bed.

"Sure."  Anya punched Xander full on and hard.

"Hell, pet.  Didn't want you to break him, just wake him."

"Mumph?"  Xander whimpered, holding his chin.

"Hey!  That hurt my hand!"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Oh."  Anya wiggled in her chair.  "These are *so* good, Spike.  Why

is that? I follow the same directions you do; follow the same steps

and yet, they never taste as good.  I'm stuck with the pop up can.

Good thing I find it amusing if not as tasty."

"Yertooheavyhanded."  Xander mumbled.

"What did you try to say, Xander?  I didn't understand."

Xander took the ice pack from his face so he could speak.  "You're too

heavy handed, Ayn.  Make's the dough tough."  He did his best to speak

clearly,

hampered by pain and puffy lips.

Anya rolled her eyes.  "Like you're Mr. Biscuit Maker."  Spike nudged

the back of her head with his elbow as he passed.  She swallowed and

smiled at Xander.  "You think that's it?"  She took another bite.

"Maybe.  Spike has said good biscuits take a light touch.  How's your

face, honey?"

"Dandy.  Except for the sore and swollen part from you *hitting* it."

Xander glared at her. "You made me bite my tongue too!"  He lisped,

showing

her his abused tongue.

Spike moved the ice pack back to Xander's chin.  "Keep that on, you,

or we'll be calling you Mr. Leno."

"Oh!  That's a Jay Leno reference!   He with the large chin and late

night talk show."  Anya grinned, nodding her head and taking a bite of

bacon.  She caught site of Xander's glare and decided to change the

subject.  "So?  Spike?  Doing anything today other than molesting the

newspaper before I've had a chance to read it?"

Spike rattled the newspaper and then folded it against the 'fold'.

Anya gasped.

"Yep.  Origami.  With the newspaper.  You?"

Anya began to choke and Xander helpfully hit her on the back with his

icepack.  "You're joking, yes?  Because that's just mean, Spike.  I

*have* paper if you need paper to fold into silly shapes that don't

look a thing like they are named to look like.  Or yesterday's

newspaper, which I've already read, is still in the recycle bin.  I

can get

it for you if you'd like."

"Back on the chin, Xander."  Spike said, ignoring Anya.

"Yes, Spike."

Anya reached out to move the unmolested portion of the daily news her

way.  "We could all go out."

"Yes, lets.  Shall we take a morning jog in the morning sun?"  Spike

snickered from behind the paper.

"No.  I only run when things are chasing me.  And you'd burst into

flames, Spike."

"Yes."

Xander snickered from behind his ice pack.

"Oh.  Being sarcastic.  Fine.  Well, if you want to exercise we can

always use the gym in the basement."

Spike carefully folded the paper into its original folds.  He handed

it to Anya with all the flair of a waiter at a five star restaurant

setting something on fire for his diner's amusement.  "For you love."

He smiled as she took it.  "I don't believe I mentioned any desire to

exercise."

"It'll be good for us."

"I'm wounded."  Xander offered, removing his ice pack and quickly

replacing it.

"You wont need to use your face, Xander."

"I get enough of a workout at *work*, thank you very much."  He

slurred with puffy lips.

"And I'm in perfect shape."  Spike told her.  Anya snorted at him.

"As perfect as I'll ever be.  Dead, pet.  Remember?  Read the paper,

luv.  Bad things have happened to good people, I know how you love

that."

Xander snorted from behind his ice pack.

"I do not!  Well, maybe I do, but only when it's funny.  And then only

when no one dies.  And, and, well."  She glared at them.  "There

aren't that many good

people, anyway, so there.  Perhaps that nasty old woman that uses our

parking space to go sip coffee all day has died.  Giles will never let

me have her car towed."  Anya quickly went to the obituaries.  "Humm.

I don't see her picture and I don't see her last name.  Maybe

tomorrow."

"We can hope, luv."

"We can also refrain from wishing death to those that are gonna die

soon anyway.  Our elders, people.  A little respect?"

Spike and Anya just looked at him.

"What?"  Xander snipped from behind his melting icepack.

Anya held up a hand, smiling at Spike and silently offering to field

this one.  "*Your* elder, Xander.  Not really ours.  She's a tiresome,

mean little woman that comes in and fondles merchandise without ever

buying anything.  She knocks things over and doesn't pick them up, let

alone pay for what she breaks.  She's rude to me before I can be rude

to her and then walks away before I can be rude back.  She dresses

without flair even for one so old.  She parks in the stores' space and

then

goes to the library and the coffee house and stays there all day

denying a space to customers that might spend money.  She's evil,

Xander.  Oh, yes, its not the sucking the world into hell kind of

evil, but the costing me of money kind of evil. And really, lets be

honest about this, now.  Is one evil so much worse than the other?

Evil is evil, isn't it?"

Spike coughed, offended.  He reached out to take the paper back.

Anya snatched it away without even taking her eyes from Xander's.

"You know what I mean." Anya waved Spike's and her years of evil deeds

away with a toss of her hand.

Xander turned his still sympathetic to the old woman eyes on Spike.

Spike snorted.  "She almost ran me over the other evening as she was

cutting some sweet young mother in a minivan chock full of little ones

off.  I hope she gets some type of infection that rots her from the

inside out."

Xander placed his ice pack on the table.  "I can not condone this."

He muttered.  It came out garbled and comic spoken with his still

swollen lips.

Anya giggled.

"Really!"  Which, of course came out "Wewee", causing much more mirth.

Xander gave them a disgusted look.  "You both suck."  Which only added

to the merriment, of course.

Spike did his best to school his features into the shape of proper

regret.

He failed spectacularly and Xander just rolled his eyes at him.

"Aw, pet.  Sorry.  Yer right.  I suck.  Let me show you."  Spike

dropped down and disappeared beneath the table.

Xander's eyes got big.

"Oh!"  Anya's eyes widened and she blinked at Xander before she smiled

and nodded her head.  "And I suck too!  I'll go with Spike, because

I'm

so bad and awful."  Anya dropped beneath the table.

"So, I guess that whole morning after the night before conversation I

was sorta worried about is a no go, huh?  We're just gonna-oh."

Xander felt his pajama bottoms being tugged and then torn away,

leaving him bare-assed on the chair.  Next he felt a cool hand on his

cock and a warm one on his balls as whispers and giggles came from

beneath the table.  "Okay. Yeah.  That's a dumb conversation anyway.

We don't need that conversation.  Oh!  Yes.  Lets just keep doing what

we're doing."

Xander scooted closer to the edge of his chair.  "You guys are the

best."