“Hi, Sandra!” she exclaimed, seeing her friend enter the empty room. All of their things were packed, and they were on their way to Atlanta after tonight. Their first performance was here in Tampa.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you this excited in the morning in weeks,” Sandra said, carefully avoiding Nick’s name. That was the last time she had seen Christine so excited in the morning; when she had something planned with Nick, before the morning sickness had started.
“I’m all ready to go!” she bubbled. “I’m going to go downstairs and have breakfast.” With that, she bounced out of the room and down the stairs. When she got to the dining room, she snagged the seat next to Brian. “Good morning!”
“What’s going on?” Brian yawned. “You’re not a morning person! You should be in bed right now!”
“Come on, I’m too excited to be in bed! It’s the first day of the tour!” Christine said. She grabbed a plate and poured herself a glass of milk.
“What’s up with Tigger, here?” Howie said, coming up behind her and tickling her sides. She shrieked.
“Why am I Tigger now?”
“You’re all happy and bouncy. Tigger is happy and bouncy, too!” Howie said. He sat down next to her and took a sip of her milk.
“Hey! There are other glasses, and there’s more milk right there! You don’t need to take mine!” Christine protested.
“It’s more fun this way,” Howie teased, but he followed her advice and got his own glass of milk.
A sleepy Nick stumbled into the room and was about to sit down on the other side of Brian, but saw Christine, so he sat at another table with Leah and Andrea. Luckily, Christine didn’t notice. “So, guys, what’s it like being on tour?”
“It’s tons of fun! You’ll love it, Chrissie!” Brian exclaimed. “Performing is great. It’s such a rush!”
“I’m sure. I used to want to be a singer, but then I realized that I couldn’t sing if my life depended on it, so I took up dancing,” Christine said.
“Guys, it’s time to go! We have to rehearse at the arena during the day, then we just chill for awhile, and then we perform!” Fatima called. “Now make sure you have everything, because we aren’t coming back here!”
Everyone got up, and Christine was the last one out. Was this a flashback of the first day of rehearsal? The only seat left on the van was next to Nick. She sat down. For a brief moment, she expected him to put his arm around her, but that quickly faded when she heard his exaggerated sigh. It was a sigh of irritation, but deep inside it, there was a hint of sadness. There should be, after what I did to him, Christine thought unhappily.
It didn’t take long to get to the arena; maybe ten minutes or so. As soon as she got there, Christine found Andrea and Sandra in the dancers’ dressing room. “Hey, girls! What are you up to?” she asked.
“We’re just getting ready to rehearse. Aren’t you excited?” Andrea shrieked.
“Omigod, yeah! This is going to be amazing!” Christine replied, her somber mood from the van immediately fading.
Rehearsal went very well. There were no mistakes made, and Fatima was very proud. “Great job, guys! Be sure to do this well tonight!” she exclaimed. “You’ve got an hour and a half break, dancers. Guys, you have a forty-five minute break, then you have to be back for sound check.”
Christine walked down the hallway to the dressing room and collided with Nick. “Sorry, angel-I mean, Chris.” He stressed her name. He stood up and offered her his hand to help her up, but she ignored it.
Their eyes locked for a few moments, and Christine saw all the tears he was holding back in his dull gray eyes, tears that she had caused. She smiled politely and began walking away as quickly as she could, trying to prevent hot tears from spilling over her own cheeks. Forget about him. Concentrate on your performance in an hour and a half, yelled a voice inside of her. She listened to it and conjured up a smile.
The concert had gone perfectly, but Christine was still upset. She slipped into the bathroom in the dressing room and sat down on the toilet seat, as tears fell from her eyes onto the white tile below. It hurt so much to be so close to Nick, dancing with him during shows and rehearsals, staying in the same hotel as him, sitting next to him on the van, but not being able to have him. There was no questioning that she was in love with him, but it was over. Nick would never come back to her.
“Chris, are you almost done? I need to shower!” Leah called.
“Yeah, almost,” Christine replied, her voice quivering. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes and rinsed her face with cold water.
When she stepped out, Andrea pulled her into the hallway. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little hot from all that dancing,” Christine lied.
Andrea looked at her doubtfully. “I don’t think that’s it, Chris. I think you were thinking about someone.”
Christine sighed as tears started to spill down her cheeks again. “You’re right. It’s so hard, Andrea. I love him so much.”
“Have you decided what to do with the baby?” Andrea asked, handing her a tissue.
“I’m getting an abortion, for sure. There’s no way I can have it,” Christine said. “I have to do it soon.”
“I’ll take you if you want. How about next time we get a few hours off?” Andrea suggested.
“Sure. Thanks so much, Andie. You’re a great friend,” Christine said.
“No problem.”
Christine wiped her tears away and they went back into the dressing room and changed. After, they went outside to where Fatima was assigning buses. There were two buses: one for the boys and a few dancers, and one for the band and the other dancers. Unfortunately, there was no room left on the one with the band, so Christine had to stay on the one with Nick.
Fatima grabbed her arm. “Chris, I’m sorry. I can get this changed tomorrow or something,” she said apologetically.
“No, that’s fine. He doesn’t bother me,” Christine assured her. “As long as he doesn’t start any arguments, I can deal with it.”
Christine stepped onto the bus that she would be sharing with the boys, Andrea, and Jessica. Nick was sitting on the couch. He looked up at her, but quickly glanced away. Fatima assigned her to my bus, he thought, annoyed. However, there was a small part of him that was somewhat happy. That small part wanted to make up and get back together, but most of him was still angry with her for what she did.
Christine tried to avoid eye contact with Nick. Instead, she went straight to the back of the bus where the bunks were and grabbed one for herself.
Brian came out of the bathroom and looked at her. “Making yourself at home already, huh?”
“Yeah. This isn’t anyone’s, is it?” she asked, not wanting to steal someone else’s bunk.
“Nope, you’re the first one to claim it,” Brian replied. “What are you going to do during the ride?”
“Probably chill back here, read a book or something,” she answered. She opened her bag and held up a Mary Higgins Clark novel. Brian didn’t say anything for a moment, and her mind traveled to Nick again.
“You’re thinking about him again, aren’t you?” he said softly.
Christine looked up at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I am. How’d you know?”
“Your eyes got all serious and sad-looking,” Brian said. “I’m so sorry. I got you into this whole mess.”
“No, you didn’t, Brian. I didn’t know what I was doing, and you were just…there. I feel terrible. I used you,” Christine said. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” His eyes rested on her for a moment, and then he went back into the main area of the bus.
After fifteen minutes or so, it became apparent that no one else had the intention of catching a nap on the way to Atlanta, so Christine had the bedroom to herself. She closed her eyes, pulled the white sheets over her shoulders, and turned off the light.
Twenty minutes later, she was awakened by someone in the room. She opened her eyes to see a dark figure looming over her bed. “AAH!” she screamed.
“Whoa, whoa, Chris, settle down! It’s just me!” a voice whispered.
“Just who?” she hissed.
“Nick,” he replied.
“Nick? You scared me half to death! What the hell were you doing hovering over my bed?” Christine snapped.
“I wasn’t. My bunk is the one over yours. I was about to climb up and go to sleep,” Nick said flatly. “Calm down! I’m not the only one who does bad things-” He stopped himself from saying “in the bedroom.”
“God! Can you drop it? I’m an idiot. I’m a slut. I’m a bitch. Whatever you want me to be, Nick, it doesn’t matter. It’s done, I did it, and as much as I regret it, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Nick’s voice took on a softer tone. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. And you’re not an idiot, a slut, a bitch. I didn’t mean to say that, either.”
“You’re good at saying things you don’t mean, aren’t you?” Christine muttered. He didn’t answer, so she closed her eyes, satisfied.
Nick rolled onto his side as thoughts raced through his mind. Some of them were angry, some guilty, and some forgiving. Maybe I was wrong. I hurt her, and she just wanted to hurt me back. Well, she did a great job of that. She had no right to make out with Brian. It wasn’t her fault I wasn’t there for her, though. These thoughts continued, and finally, he fell into a troubled sleep.