“Lauren.” A whispered voice caressed her name. “Lauren, it’s Nick.”
Lauren’s eyes shot open, and she was thankful her back was to him so he couldn’t see the tears filling them. He didn’t even realize she was awake. Instead of following her first instinct and telling him to leave, she decided to let him talk.
“I know you’re a deep sleeper, so my talking probably won’t wake you up. It will be easier to explain if you’re asleep.” He began to stroke her hair tenderly, making her cringe. “That night with Rachel…it was the biggest mistake of my life. I had hoped we could talk about it and you would forgive me, but you left. I guess this is my second chance.
“Rachel and I ran into each other, and we decided to go clubbing. We both got kind of drunk, and I drove her back to her hotel. I was exhausted, so when she asked if I wanted to stay, I said yeah. She knew I had a girlfriend whom I loved…whom I still love…very much. Well, anyway, we were talking, and all of a sudden, she kissed me. One thing led to another, and I woke up next to her the next morning. I remembered what happened, and I remember thinking of you the whole time-not that that’s any excuse for what I’ve done. It was inexcusable. I asked Brian to talk to you because I knew if I tried, I wouldn’t have told you and you’d have found out some other way. Then you left, and I came home to find everything gone.” Nick swallowed hard, fighting the tears in his eyes.
“The Boys decided to break up soon after, with Brian and Kevin married and me as out of it as I was. I started drinking, and I guess I would have turned into your father if I had anyone to hurt. It’s been like that for a couple years. I slept with four or five girls…actually, I woke up in bed with them. I didn’t get them pregnant and they didn’t have anything, so I have no kids or STDs. Before I came here, I was about to take a handful of aspirin, but I saw you on the news. I saw my one chance to apologize.”
Nick stood up as Lauren muffled a sob. “I may or may not have the nerve to tell you this when you’re awake. It took a lot just to tell you now. Just in case, goodbye, Lauren. I love you and my heart will always belong to you.” He kissed her hand lovingly and turned to leave.
“Nick,” Lauren whispered.
“You’re awake?” Nick exclaimed.
“Yes, I have been this whole time,” Lauren answered, looking at him through teary eyes.
“Please forgive me, Lauren,” Nick pleaded.
Lauren looked away, unable to watch his heart break. “I can’t trust you anymore, not after what you did.”
“I understand that,” Nick replied sadly. “But you’re my reason for living, Lauren. I didn’t overdose when I saw you on the news because I thought there was a chance I could see you again.”
“I can’t handle this, not right now. Please, just go,” Lauren whispered.
“You know you can always call. Jessica has my number,” Nick said quietly as he turned away, trying to keep the tears from spilling over.
Lauren had one more thing to say. “Nick, clean up your life. Don’t do it for me, but for yourself.”