Chapter Six

Jai couldn’t think straight. "I don’t understand," she said slowly. "One minute, I’m supposed to be the darling of the public, single and accessible, and suddenly I’d do better if I were taken? And taken by another singer, no less." She rubbed her eyes and looked at Paul wearily.

"I’ll be frank with you, Jai, if you’re not coupled with someone, I’m afraid that it’s going to start to take its toll." At that point, he handed her the paper he had been looking at that same morning.

Justin saw the picture of her with Carey and narrowed his eyes at her. Glancing up from the picture, Jai caught the look of distaste and-could it be?-anger.

Flustered, Jai shook her head and sat back. "I trust your judgment, Paul, it’s just that I don’t know him." She flicked her eyes to Justin, who was now staring at her with flat dislike. "Sorry," she muttered, but she wasn’t quite sure to whom.

Johnny jumped in. "Then I’ll introduce you," he said, obviously trying to make the situation less tense. "Jai, it’s not as though this is entirely for your benefit, we get some benefits from it, as well."

Jai raised an eyebrow. "Well, go on, I’d like to know what they are." Johnny looked at Justin, who shook his head. "I can’t talk about that just now, Ms. Bowman," Johnny said apologetically. Jai rolled her eyes. "Nonetheless, Jai Bowman, this is Justin Timberlake. Justin, this is Jai."

Justin jerked back his chin, the only greeting he would muster. Jai nodded stiffly. I can’t possibly see how this would benefit either of us, Jai thought suddenly. Unless it’s really true that suffering builds character.

"Well then, you’ll be picked up at 7:30 on Friday for the Teen Choice Awards." Johnny looked as though he desperately wanted Justin to jump in at some time. The more Jai watched Justin, the more he confused and angered her. He wouldn’t speak, only sat there looking pissed off at the world, and more strangely, pissed off at her.

Jai lifted her chin. She’d never been one to shy away from a challenge, and if escorting this idiot was all it took to give her an edge, then she would pull it off with dignity.

He wouldn’t get Jai Bowman down.

"I don’t know, Mom, I guess I just thought that the whole ‘arranged couples’ thing was a big entertainment industry rumor," Jai said on Friday evening, zipping up the back of the sleek black dress she was wearing. "Well, I love you, too. Keep your fingers crossed. By the way he was acting the other night, expect one of us to come home in pieces." She laughed. "Yes, he’s just as attractive in person, if you discount the attitude problem. Thanks, Mom. I’ll talk to you tomorrow sometime." She hung up the phone, turned to the mirror, and wrinkled her nose. Sweeping up her hair with a few pins, she decided that the look was good for her. Not as racy as the album release, but not too tame. Her buzzer sounded, and she didn’t have any more time to worry over her appearance. Grabbing her evening bag and her black wrap from the closet, she exited the apartment to see a limo sitting at the curb, the driver holding the door open for her.

She slid into the limo and saw Justin sitting in the corner, nursing a tumbler of something that she was positive wasn’t apple juice.

"Hey, thanks for going out of your way to greet me this evening," she said, throwing her purse on the seat between them and instantly forgetting her vow to herself to try and enjoy the evening.

"You just keep acting as though you haven’t had loads of guys simper over you, open doors for you, give you just what you want," Justin replied, eyeing his glass and then finishing off the contents.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Dignity, dignity, maintain your dignity, she reminded herself. She’d been about to pepper that question with a few choice four-letter words.

Justin put his glass in the holder next to the small bar and leaned his head back, his eyes only slightly open. "Listen, princess, you can drop the innocent act. I know about you. No one who looks like you gets into this industry without doing a few favors."

Jai felt her temper rising, but tamped it down. She gave him a cool sneer. "And is that what you are then? A favor?"

He sat forward so fast that she gasped and stared her down, eye to eye. "Maybe. But you’re not going to do me, princess." The car stopped, and Justin slid out. Before Jai could think to move, he had opened her door for her, a brilliant smile on his face. That single smile made him beautiful, and it irked her to know how fake it was. Two can play that game, she thought. She softened her look and put her hand in his. As he helped her out of the limo, she smiled winningly at the crowd.

That’s all it took. Within bare moments, the two beautiful people were America’s new sweethearts.

Chapter Seven

Jai couldn’t believe the amount of attention they were getting. Within moments of stepping out of the limo, they had been photographed so many times that she couldn’t clearly see much of anything, and reporters were shouting questions from every direction. Justin may not have been the nice guy he appeared to be, but thankfully he was adept at media relations.

"Jai, Justin, you two are easily the most stunning couple here, but no one knew you were together! How long have you been together?"

Justin smiled easily. "Feels like forever," he said, winking. Jai saw him glance down at her, the smile merging into a smirk, and felt like stamping on his foot. Well, he wasn’t the only one who could be cruelly clever.

"How did you two meet?"

Jai started to speak before Justin could. "Oh, some mutual friends introduced us, and we just didn’t have a choice. We knew we had to be together." She heard Justin’s genuine laugh and felt herself smiling a little herself. Hell, this could be fun.

Once inside, they were reprieved from the reporters but not from their peers. Carson Daly sidled up, sneering at the champagne in his hand. Jai had no doubt he was praying for something a lot stronger. "Justin, I see you’ve bypassed your usual displays of opulence. You know, jewelry, the slinky blonde that you used to have everywhere."

Jai saw Justin flinch at the latter reference and mentally filed his reaction. There was something to that flinch. Something more human than he had displayed all night, save for the deep belly-laugh earlier when they were playing with the press.

"Well, Carson, what can I say? Who needs stuff like that when you can escort true natural beauty?" He smiled down at Jai and she felt her belly flip-flop.

Don’t be ridiculous, she told herself. A pretty face doesn’t mean anything. As they walked away, she muttered. "How sweet, I almost thought you meant it."

He didn’t respond, but cast a backward glance at Carson. "He’s almost sad, you know. He’s so pathetic."

"Carson?" Jai asked. Justin nodded and she laughed a little. "I got that impression when I first started doing things out at MTV. That feeling that he’d do just about anything to stay on the air another day." She stopped suddenly, thinking of how Justin had practically accused her of the same thing earlier. If his mind was on the same thing, he didn’t show it.

As the night wore on, the two seemed to have made a truce, if a somewhat grudging one. They had stopped taking potshots at each other and talked to one another if they had no one else to talk to. Then something changed.

"Jai Bowman, Justin Timberlake," a voice called from a short distance away. Jai looked up to see Winston Carey headed right their way.

"Oh, hell," she sighed. Justin looked down at her, his face hard and impassive.

"What’s the matter, Jai, don’t like having your flings approach you? You like to initiate?" Before she could respond, Carey was standing directly in front of them.

"Well, well, who would have guessed," he drawled, finishing his champagne. "Wouldn’t you two make pretty babies," he said, laughing. "Nice job, Justin," he said, lowering his voice as if Jai couldn’t still hear him. "You know, since I mentioned it the other day, I bet you just felt duty bound to jump to the challenge."

Jai goggled at the two of them, wondering what in the hell Carey was referring to.

"Yeah, that’s just it, Carey," Justin said mildly, then leaned down to whisper and keep his next comment from reaching Jai’s ears. "Don’t you think if I wanted your sloppy seconds, I could have had them in other places?"

Carey’s eyes narrowed. So the little curly-headed bastard thought he had been with Jai, too? Let him think it, the businessman thought nastily. It’ll keep him awake at nights. So he merely grinned and held his hands up, palms out. "Hey, maybe so," he said, letting his gaze rake over Jai. "Nobody said you were an unlucky man, Timberlake."

Justin reached up and grabbed Carey’s collar, effectively hauling the man closer to his face and also cutting off most of his air supply. Jai acted on instinct, not knowing that it would only turn Justin’s anger on her. "Justin, stop it," she said, stepping forward and putting her hand on his arm. "Come on, Justin, he’s not worth it, someone’s going to see you?"

"Had to protect him, didn’t you?" Justin snarled, shoving Carey away from him. "I’m leaving."

Jai felt tears sting her eyes, confused as to what had broken the near-friendly mood they had established earlier. Thinking of their newly forged image, she rushed after him so they would at least look like they were leaving together.

Nobody who saw them would know that each of them was silently wishing the other to hell.

Chapter Eight

Jai got into the limo and barely resisted the urge to slam her door in the same way that Justin had. She didn’t expect to be treated like the princess that Justin mocked her for being, but she didn’t expect to be treated like this, either. She wanted to yell, to scream and throw things at him, but kept her mouth shut until she was certain she could speak at a normal tone.

"Well, that was awfully mature of you," she said coolly. "I think you got some of your machismo on me," she said, brushing off her arm mockingly. He said nothing. "Do you mind telling me what that was about?"

Justin looked at her, his eyes hard, and even worse, hateful. How can he hate me when he doesn’t even know me? Jai thought. "Yeah, I do mind," he said, a bit of his old Tennessee drawl slipping out. "I don’t like to be redundant, so telling you something that you already know about is a waste of my time. As is dating you, princess."

"I don’t understand you," Jai said, hearing her voice rise but unable to stop it. "You don’t know me, and yet you’ve formed this set-in-stone opinion of me. I’d like to know where it came from and what exactly Win Carey has to do with it."

"Win Carey is a shit-sucking bastard," Justin said calmly. "Although I’m sure that’s not how you see him. I told you before to drop the innocence, Jai. All the sweetness and light can go. If we’re chained, no, better yet, shackled to one another, then I think the least we owe each other is a little fuckin’ honesty, okay? So drop the shit."

Jai screamed then, the sound of it slashing through the plush interior of the car. No words, just a short scream of frustration, then a few moments of silence broken by her heavy breathing. Finally, she spoke. "Aside from the fact that you think I’m playing a game," she said through bared teeth, "What do you think I want from you? Honesty. Or as you so charmingly put it, a little fuckin’ honesty. You can tell me to be honest but you can’t honestly tell me what crawled up your-"

"This is your stop," Justin said, leaning over and shoving her door open. "I’ll see you whenever I next have to."

"Never again would be too soon," Jai said, slamming the door. She’d nearly caught his hand in it. Too bad I didn’t, she thought, walking up to her apartment.

The next morning, Jai sorely regretted screaming at Justin. Her throat felt like it was on fire, which wasn’t a good condition at any time for a singer. Thankfully, she had the next few days off to think and rest.

She didn’t think the whole thing was going to work out with Justin. She’d handled so many things beyond what her years would have suggested. The career, the business angles of it, living alone, but she thought this "dating" situation could prove to be too much for her. Too volatile, too much work, not to mention that nearly every time he opened his mouth he attacked her. "But I’m tough," she said quietly, not wanting to risk more than a whisper until her throat felt better. She made a vow to herself not to quit before he did. She replayed the last night’s events in her head and remembered something. Carson’s reference to a slinky blonde echoed in her mind, and she sat down at her computer to do some research. The more she knew, the better off she was.

Jai didn’t know much more than when she began three days later when he showed up on her doorstep.

"We’re supposed to go out, get a chance to get some pictures taken," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets. He’d tried to talk Johnny into letting him drop the whole deal, but Johnny had denied him that, along with insisting that Jai had nothing to do with Winston Carey. Justin had responded by informing Johnny that the word "gullible" wasn’t in the dictionary. Childish, he knew, but something about Johnny forcing him to repeat his past brought out the worst in Justin. He wondered for a brief moment if perhaps Johnny could be right about Jai, but shoved it to the back of his mind. Thoughts like that got him hurt once before.

Jai grabbed her jacket and tried not to look as negative as she felt. Justin opened his mouth and Jai flinched, ready for something inflammatory. Instead, he commented that her album seemed to be doing well. She gradually relaxed, cautiously optimistic about the outing, and began to talk. They started up a nice, normal conversation with no road bumps, but Jai noticed that he didn’t mention the party or the accusations about Carey. For the sake of peace, she let it slide and wondered what he was thinking.

Justin was trying to curb the thoughts that Johnny had cropped up earlier. True, he knew that his manager wouldn’t ever intentionally present him with Carey’s castoffs, but-but what? He was convinced that she’d been involved with him, no matter how well she played dumb. But he couldn’t find the heart to be cruel to her here, in the light of day, in casual clothes, strolling down the street. It just didn’t seem right. So he was friendly but cool. Manners could be completely detached from emotions, after all.

Chapter Nine

Jai and Justin kept their truce for several weeks. Jai found herself liking him, if somewhat grudgingly, and pitying the boy who had lost much of his childhood to stardom. "I can’t imagine having started all this at that age," she said unthinkingly when he mentioned the beginnings of the band one evening over dinner at a trendy restaurant where the pasta was good and the paparazzi plentiful enough to shake a stick at.

He told himself firmly that he didn’t want her pity. "The guys helped a lot," he said dismissively, spearing a rotini and studying it for a moment.

She nodded. "Well, it’s good that you had someone," she said, putting her hand over his on the table, then quickly snatching it away. She’d forgotten for a moment that everything they had, up to and including that slight friendship, was a farce.

His lips twisted. She really didn’t want to have anything to do with him, it seemed. While he knew the blame for that lay mostly on his shoulders, he also strongly suspected that she was playing her hand carefully. He’d called her bluff early on, so she wasn’t likely to try and get touchy with him. He finished dinner, paid the bill, and they left together.

As they walked back to her apartment, Jai grew colder and colder by the minute, her dress doing nothing to cut the cool wind that was blowing. She didn’t dare say anything about it, though. He’d think she was just being coy. She couldn’t stem the shivers that were shaking her after a few blocks, though.

"Cold?" He tried to keep his eyes off of the front of her dress, where the temperature drop had taken an obvious toll. Come on, Timberlake, you see more provoking things every night at concerts, get it together.

"Um… yeah," she said, clenching her teeth to keep them from chattering together. "But w-we’re almost there."

"Don’t be stupid," he said brusquely, shrugging off his coat. He might not care for her or her involvements very much, but his mother had raised him with some respect. He held the arms for her so she could shrug into it.

"Thanks," she said, smiling up at him. She was surprised by the gesture and tried not to show it. It seemed like she spent a great deal of time trying to avoid his anger. Once at her door, she slipped the jacket off and handed it back to him. "You wanna come in for a cup of coffee or anything?" She bit her lip, telling herself it was only manners that made her ask.

His eyes darkened and his jaw muscles clenched. "I don’t think that’s wise, Jai."

Unable to stop herself, she cried out, "Why not? You act like I’ve got the plague."

He couldn’t look at her and not see someone else, not see his past staring back at him. "Jai, there’s no need for your pathetic attempts at seduction with me. Do you forget that I’m not going anywhere? That I have to be with you? You don’t need to start putting out, Jai, I can’t leave." He spoke quietly, that famed voice not reaching so far as even the next door.

Jai couldn’t exhibit that sort of control. "I don’t understand you," she shouted, forgetting how her throat had suffered last time. "One minute you’re Mr. Manners and the next minute, you act as though you know things about me that I don’t even know. I don’t know who told you what, or what is going through that thick skull of yours--" At that moment she raised a hand, very tempted to smack him upside that selfsame skull. "But whatever it is, it’s not true. You want to ask my manager, my parents, my preacher? My exes? Fine, go on. I have nothing to hide from you but my hatred, and I’m sick of hiding that." She started to slam the door in his face, but he stepped inside, crowding her back.

"Are you insane?" he hissed between his teeth. "I’m not doing this for kicks, princess, I’m doing it for image, and if you stand in the hallway screaming, you’re going to fuck that up."

"Why are you doing this to me?" she said, her voice lowering to a near-sob. She wanted to see some emotion from him, anything but that cool, rational dislike. He never shouted, never made a scene. Oh, no, not him. Somehow that made it worse, hearing all those nasty things in that perfect voice.

He turned back to her. "Because I know your kind, Jai. It’s never like it seems with women like you. And the fact that you agreed to be part of this charade tells me a lot about you."

He started to open the door when she threw the phone book at him, making him spin on his heel and advance toward her. "Fuck you, you fucking bastard!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. "I didn’t see you saying no to this phony piece of shit relationship!" she dashed tears from her eyes. "What, they thought you were starting to seem too gay so you needed a girlfriend? I was just lucky enough to fit the bill? Damn you. Damn you for being a superior bastard and damn you for being a good guy when you’re not trying so hard to be a straight up fucker!" She couldn’t believe she was letting her temper get away from her. She hadn’t used language like that since getting into fights with her brother, but it felt good. It felt good right up until he left without saying another word to her.

She sat on the couch, dazed. What was happening to her? And why was he able to get under her skin?

"Bitch," Justin said viciously, slamming his own door hard enough to make it rattle. He had a sore spot between his shoulder blades where her unerring aim had landed the phone directory. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes and wondered whether he should call Johnny and tell him it was all going to end.

He picked up the phone but couldn’t dial.

He knew what it would look like. It would look like he was too coward to go through with it, or worse, it would look as though the problems were his fault.

And they weren’t-- were they?

Chapter Ten

Jai sat in the recording studio the next day, trying to tell herself that her throat was fine, it didn’t matter that she’d shouted at Justin and then cried for hours. She’d been commissioned to do a song for a movie, and she’d known the recording date for months. Usually, she barely even talked the day before a session, but she’d forgotten that in the heat of the moment, and she knew that the minute she opened her mouth and started to sing, they’d know something was up.

She read over the first stanza of lyrics to the song and felt her stomach drop. When she’d read them the first time, weeks ago, she’d liked them immediately, liked the honesty and heart behind them. Now they made her ache for reasons she didn’t understand.

I offered you all
Gave it no price
Handed you my heart
Let you in my life
You turned away
You ran afar
And now my days
Are cold and dark

She laid the paper aside for a moment and put her hands to her face. Don’t think about him, she warned herself. Thinking about him is more than ridiculous, it’s suicidal.

"I’m ready," she told the technicians. The music started and she closed her eyes, quietly singing those first lines. The sobbing had taken its toll on her voice, as had the screaming, but no one said anything. By the third or fourth line she realized that it only made the lyrics sound realistic. The rough edge to her voice made her sound older, and she could see Paul’s astonishment through the glass. When she got to the chorus, she let all of her frustration fly into the words, and let herself think of Justin. It fit, and what was more, it was working with the song.

Love, my love, you cast aside
Ignored the tears I cried and cried
Now is it your fear or your foolish pride
That’s causing all this pain inside

She wailed the chorus, then dropped back to the quiet, sobbing volume for the next verse.

I spoke of love
I spoke of us
Reminded you of
Some broken trust
That wasn’t me
That wasn’t now
Why can’t you see
I won’t live without

She took a deep breath and dove into the chorus to end the song.

Love, my love, you cast aside
Ignored the tears I cried and cried
Now is it your fear or your foolish pride
That’s causing all this pain inside
Love, my love, you cast aside
Denied the love I could not hide
Now is it your fear or your foolish pride
That has broken my heart open wide
Can’t take no more of this pain inside…
Why won’t you come and ease this pain inside…

There were the expected few moments of silence, then the "recording" light went off. Usually comments would start to seep through, suggestions, compliments, but this time everyone remained completely still. Jai opened her eyes but kept them low. They’re going to yell at me because of how my voice sounds, she thought, mortified. Or worse-they know what’s on my mind. She cursed herself for being an idiot, for even beginning to apply the poignant lyrics to that bastard Timberlake. When she finally gathered the courage to look up at them, she saw that everyone, minor technicians included, was beaming.

Paul burst through the door, holding out his hands. "Where did it come from? No, don’t tell me, you’ll jinx it. God, Jai, that was fantastic, that was unbelievable. You sounded like Bonnie Tyler, emotional and rough and sexy. Maybe some of that new image we talked about is rubbing off," he laughed, hugging her.

That’s what I’m afraid of, Jai thought, tears threatening to rise again. She knew that if things were going to continue as they were, she needed answers to some very important questions. "Paul, I have a favor to ask."

"Anything, baby, you just laid down a flawless track in one try. I’ll clean your house for you." He held her at arm’s length and grinned. She smiled weakly and asked her favor. He was surprised, but didn’t renege on his promise to her. He did her the favor she asked.

"How did you get this address?" The man wasn’t angry, but amused. His hair was more messed up than usual, he was wearing a t-shirt and flannel pants and he looked tired. But he also looked friendly.

Jai bit her lip. She’d seen him places, of course, but she’d never met him. Despite that, there was no doubt in her mind that he knew who she was. "My manager gave it to me," she said. "I think he knows everything about everyone."

JC sighed. "Well, you’re here, you may as well come in."

Jai stepped inside and looked around, trying to be discreet. It surprised her that he kept such a neat house, but she supposed it shouldn’t have. From all accounts, he was meticulous in all areas of his life, musical, personal, and as it turned out, domestic.

"Well, I can’t imagine Jai Bowman is here just to see how I live," JC said, sitting at the piano bench and laying his slim fingers across the ivory keys. She thought he looked at home there. It just looked right.

She cleared her throat. "Ah… this is going to sound odd, but… well, for starters, you know about Justin and me, right?"

He nodded. "And before you trip over yourself explaining it, I know it’s not real." His astute blue eyes noticed her flinch. Well, well, maybe it’s not real, but someone’s sure having some awfully real feelings. He pitied her, if that were the case.

"I want to know what happened before me. Something happened, I know, or he wouldn’t be so militant. One minute he’s a perfect gentleman, friendly, even wonderful, but the minute he starts to have some sort of genuine reaction to me or I try to get closer to him than just an acquaintance, he snaps." She was embarrassed to feel near tears again. Tears were only for something or someone that could really hurt you, not for a fake relationship. But she’d found herself crying more often than not these days.

JC nodded. "I’m not surprised," he said. "Not after they published that picture of you with Win Carey. Before I go any farther, I need to know something, and you have to be honest." She nodded. "Has anything ever happened or ever come close to happening with Winston Carey?"

Jai shook her head vehemently. "No. In fact, hell no. I know that picture doesn’t look great, but something more must be there to make everyone think I slept with Win Carey. Justin’s convinced. I wouldn’t put it past that slimy bastard to be telling people I did sleep with him." She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of that before.

JC nodded, then told her as briefly as he could about Justin’s ex-girlfriend and Win Carey’s involvement with her. "He wouldn’t talk about it other than to tell us the bare bones, but we all knew he was hurting. Usually Justin snaps out of these things pretty quickly, but not this time."

"He loved her, didn’t he?" she asked quietly. JC nodded. "And so now he’ll do anything to keep it from happening again."

He tilted his head. "But that’s not a danger, since you don’t really have a relationship," he reminded her, wanting to see her reaction. There was more to this than she was letting on.

She didn’t respond to that. "It explains why he strikes out at me. ‘You don’t wanna lose it again,’" she quoted, her mouth pulling into a smirk. JC grinned at the reference.

"You remember the next line, though, surely?"

"’But I’m not like them,’" she said, sighing. "And I’m not like her."

JC stood and crossed to her, moved by her obvious concern for his friend. He hadn’t seen anyone care about Justin like that in a long time, and he couldn’t believe it was a bad thing. "You know, I don’t think you are," he said. Jai stood and hugged him impulsively.

"Thank you so much. It’s been great meeting you, and I can’t tell you how much it means to-"

"What in the hell is this?" Justin’s voice sounded through the living room of JC’s house, immediately breaking the embrace that he had walked in on.

Jai turned around. "Justin-" she said, her voice breaking, still carrying the emotions brought up by JC’s story.

"Don’t you ever say my name like that again, Jai, don’t say it like you give a damn." He shook his head once, hard. "You shout at me and throw things last night to defend your own virtue, and you know, fool that I am, I nearly believed you. Until I walk in to see you draped on my best friend, who’s still in his pajamas."

"Justin-" JC said warningly.

"No, Jace, I don’t blame you. I mean, look at her." He sneered, looking at the tank top and warm-up pants that Jai had on. They were a far cry from tantalizing, but the two inches of midriff he saw when she was on tiptoe hugging JC made him grate his teeth. "Who could resist?"

"Apparently you can," Jai broke in. JC started to speak, and she cut him off. "No, JC, shut up. I’ve had enough of this." She turned her glare back to Justin. "You hear that, Justin? Enough."

He could hear the damage that she’d done to her voice the night before and closed his ears to it, closed his heart to what that could have meant.

"I met JC for the first time about a half an hour ago."

"No one said you were a slow mover, Jai," Justin spat back. What that earned him was a backhanded slap in the face, as hard as she could muster.

"Shut your foul mouth and listen," she said, not as scared of him as she should have been. "I came here to ask him what made you hate me, what made you so scared that you couldn’t even be friends with a woman. And you know something? He told me. He told me the whole story." Her voice softened. "Justin, I’m sorry that she hurt you. I don’t know what kind of woman you think I am, but I can tell you what the reality is. I’m 20 years old, I’ve never had sex with anyone, much less had sex with someone to get a contract or a gig. I’m too proud of my voice for that." She took a deep breath and plowed on. He stood where he was, fists clenched at his side, red blooming on the side of his face where her hand had made contact.

"I’m not her, Justin. Not only am I not her, I’m not like her, and I don’t know her, but I hate her. I hate her for what she did to you, and to be quite selfish, I hate her for what she’s made you put me through."

JC kept his arms crossed over his chest, secretly delighting in the fact that someone was finally giving it to Justin Timberlake. He couldn’t be spoiled forever.

"And you know something else? I hate you more than a little bit, but I like you more than a little bit, too. I admire the man you are underneath all that armor you’ve put up, but that armor’s where you’re a detestable brat. So if you’re too big of a wimp to go through with this thing and to keep this whole act up, then fine, I’ll tell Paul and Johnny it’s off. But I’ll tell them the truth, that you’re not man enough to stick with what you start." She walked past him to go to the door. As she did, she lowered her voice, trying not to wince at the abnormal huskiness that was her voice, at least temporarily. "If you don’t stick with me, you’ll regret it. Maybe you’ll even miss me," she added. Her chin was up as she sailed out the door, dignified despite the casual attire she was in.

"Wow," JC said, sleepily rubbing his eyes. He’d never seen Justin speechless. Not ever.

Justin was still standing in the same place he’d been the entire time, his mouth tightly closed and his jaw clenched. His cheek was still a bright, burning red.

"She threw a phone book at me last night," he said in a low voice, "And she hit me today. And then she wonders why I hate her."

JC laughed. He couldn’t help it. Rather than being angry, Justin sighed and sat down on the couch, his anger abating. "I’m glad you can see the humor in the situation, JC."

"You deserved it," JC said simply, sitting back at the piano, taking comfort from it. His piano sure as hell never threw tantrums. Purposefully, he picked out a tune. "’‘You don’t wanna lose it again, but she’s not like them,’" he sang softly along with the piano.

"What did you just say?" Justin said, raising an eyebrow.

"I was singing the song. You know, I always piddle on the piano." JC’s wide blue eyes looked innocent, but Justin knew better.

"You fucked up the words," he said. JC didn’t respond and Justin sighed again. He thought about all of the things about Jai that he had been told, from Johnny, from Jai herself, from everyone, and he knew that somewhere along the line his selfishness had made him say and do things he didn’t believe. His own past had made him believe the one man who he hated more than anyone else on earth.

"I made a real mess this time, didn’t I?" JC nodded and continued to peck on the keys. He figured Justin would get it all out in his own time, in his own way. "Carey told me he had sex with her. Not in so many words, but he let me believe it."

JC turned that complacent gaze on Justin finally. "You would believe that guy?"

Justin grimaced. "I guess I did. She’s not a bad person, is she?"

JC shook his head and his fingers tapped out an improvised hook to the song, but continued with the lyrics as they were. " ‘Baby when you fin-nally… get to love somebody… guess what’-"

Justin jumped to his feet. "Ok, JC, enough of that. It’s bad enough without your twisted and strange attempts at genuine matchmaking. Regardless of whether or not she and I are going to keep up this whole professional relationship, I owe her an apology." He stalked out of the house and JC smiled, satisfied.

"That’s right, kid. You do."

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The Lives We Lead
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