Jess sat alone, soaking in the beautiful rays of sunshine, that were hers alone. It was early in the morning and the park was empty with exception to a scatter of geese in the pond.

"Jess?" she heard a voice whisper.

"Go away Justin."

"But…" he sighed, "I don’t wanna. I need to talk to you."

"Just because I beat up your whore doesn’t give you the right to talk to me. I’m still mad at you," she answered, crossing her arms over her chest. She dipped her chin down to touch the base of her neck, her eyes set on the pond.

"Jess, please. I really need to tell you something. You don’t need to talk, but I really need you to listen. Please." His voice told her that it was something urgent, something that he needed to say.

"Fine."

"Okay," he said, sucking in a breath and then exhaling it slowly. He did this a series of times before he finally spoke.

"Jess, I…" and then he stopped. He walked around the wooden bench that she was sitting on and then stood in front of her. "Jess…Sometimes when you…" He stopped again, his hand going immediately to his head, his long fingers massaging his temples.

"Justin, just say it."

"Okay. Jess, I’m still in love with you," he said all in one breath, his chest heaving as the words came out.

She turned to him. "What?"

"Ever since that day that we got into that fight, and you said that you weren’t in love with me anymore, I knew that I felt something for you. But I thought that I was meant to be with Raine and I was already so close to proposing that it just made sense to go along with it," he stopped for a minute, taking her trembling hand into his.

"Jess, I love you and I will always love you. I’ve never experienced anything as perfect as what our love was. And I can honestly say that I do want to spend the rest of my life with you."

And with that, his lips came crashing down onto hers, his hands running through her hair. And she kissed him back, her lips as passionate as his, her arms encircling his neck.

She broke the kiss, jumping up from the bench, her eyes narrowing. "Justin, I can’t…We, we can’t…" she whispered, tears trickling down her cheeks. She could still feel his lips on hers and she tried desperately to wipe the feeling away, but it stayed. That disgusting feeling, of betrayal stained her lips, and seeped through her skin, tainting her. She had betrayed JC in every way, her lips reacting to Justin’s sweet touch.

But her heart craved something; someone else entirely. It wanted the man whose touch was enough to comfort her, the way no one else could. Her heart yearned for the one who weathered the storm with her, kept her safe and warm, made her feel loved.

She stared at the man before her, and knew he was none of those things, just Justin, nothing more than her best friend.

Jess walked into JC’s bedroom slowly, pulling her shirt over her head. She removed her jeans then slipped into a pair of JC’s pajama pants and a T-shirt. She crept up the side of the gigantic bed, slipping herself beneath the navy blue sheets and onto JC’s chest. She snuggled close to him, nuzzling at the base of his neck, expecting his strong arms to wrap around her shoulders.

But they didn’t.

She waited a few moments and still he stayed unchanging. She frowned as she backed away, her eyes studying his features. His eyes were set blankly on the ceiling, tears fresh in the corners of his eyes.

"Sweetie, what’s wrong?" she whispered, her hand grazing his chest and her lips rushing to meet his. But he didn’t kiss her back, he stayed completely frozen, his eyes unmoving.

"C?" she murmured softer now, her voice beginning to tremble.

He refused to answer.

"JC!" she said almost in desperation, wanting to know what ate at his heart.

His eyes shifted to her now, tears rolling down the front of his cheeks. "I saw you today, I saw you kissing him…" he trailed off as he closed his eyes, as if it were too painful for him to think about.

"I saw you kissing him… kissing him the way you kiss me. He was holding you the way I hold you," he looked away, blinking back more tears.

She looked at him, the pain in his eyes breaking her heart, and felt tears start to burn her eyes.

"When we’re you going to tell me Jess? Do you make love to him the way you make love to me?" he asked, his voice booming throughout the hallow room. "Is nothing we share sacred?"

She didn’t answer but let her tears speak on her behalf. She never sobbed, never over-played the fact that she was crying, but now she couldn’t help it. She slowly fell into the pillow beside him, bawling, her body shaking with each moment.

"JC…" she murmured in between cries, "Please, I can explain…"

He restrained himself from comforting her, even now, her tears caused his heart to shatter.

"JC, he kissed me…"

"Jess! You didn’t do anything to stop him, you didn’t push him away. Your arms were around his neck for God’s sake!" he said, his voice abnormally dark.

"Are you still in love with him?" he asked, softer this time- he didn’t want to know the answer. The new tears fell as he watched her, knowing her answer could break him.

"No…" she insisted, as she turned to him. "No. I only love you JC. Justin and I are over, I swear…" she rolled over and took his hand into hers. "JC, I promise…"

JC looked down at her. Even with her tears, to him she was beautiful, she was the only woman he had ever loved. "I want to believe you Jess…" his voice was heavy, his eyes tired. "But I don’t know if I can."

"Jess, you are the only woman that I have ever really loved. And I really wanted this to work out, but I can’t be the one who’s getting hurt. I love you too much…" his eyes closed. "I really need to think about this."

She nodded. She wondered if she should leave. She watched him as he closed his eyes. She knew he was thinking, she could almost hear the wheels turning. He was completely still, completely unemotional leaving the decision up to her.

She turned out the light on her side of the bed then slid further beneath the sheets. She didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay right beside him, to let him know how much she loved him. She closed her eyes and sighed against the side of her pillow, before falling asleep in complete exhaustion.

JC opened his eyes after a few moments and turned. He could barely make out the curves of her face in the pale light of the moon. He reached out to touch her, his fingers meeting the softest of flesh.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t hate her. All he felt was love. He wiped the tears from her cheeks gently, pulling her onto his chest. He loved the way she felt in his arms, the way he felt when she was there.

"I love you baby," he whispered as he watched her lovingly, new tears streaming down his cheeks.

"I really love you," he whispered again, his lips meeting the tender flesh of her lips. "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you…" he sighed deeply as the tears wracked through his body, dripping down onto his chest. "But you just don’t feel the same way."

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