Jess awoke alone. She groaned as she recalled the events of the night before, slumping back into the softness of her pillow. She was going to kill Justin. She felt a presence in the room and as she turned, it became apparent that this day would be as horrific as the last.
JC sat in the over-stuffed leather chair across from the bed, sipping a drink, a glazed look already present in his gripping blue eyes. His eyes were set on her figure, their intense gaze sending shivers down her spine.
"Morning," he said, his voice chillingly raspy and cold. It was blatantly apparent that he was drunk.
"JC, sweetie, isn’t it a little early to be drinking?" she asked gently, glancing at the clock beside the bed. It was 9:00, "a little early" was being generous.
He looked over towards the clock, and shrugged, dismissing her question with a wave of his hand. It wasn’t early, he had been up all night.
Jess slipped out of bed, trying her best to be nonchalant even with JC’s blue eyes following her, his hand bringing the glass to his mouth. She padded into the bathroom, her bare feet making soft slapping noises against the hard wood floor. She turned the water on, and reached for her toothbrush as JC entered the room.
He was wearing a white tank top and a pair of pine colored boxer shorts, little reindeer stitched into the plaid boxes every so often. He was a complete mess, the ever-changing color of his eyes set in a shade she had rarely seen. It was such a deep shade of blue that it dispelled a sense of coldness that sent another series of chills to run their course down her spine.
She smiled gently, but not wide enough to show her teeth, the corners of her mouth turning upwards slightly and waved, the mirror sending the image to him. He said nothing, just leaned against the side of the doorway and watched, sipping his drink every so often.
She finished brushing her teeth and wiped her hands on the towel beside the sink, brushing her lips against the terry material.
"Have you ever been hurt?" he asked impersonally, his face showing now traces of any kind of emotion.
His voice startled her, the depth of pain apparent. She silently nodded, her eyes fixed straight on him.
"I’ve been hurt…" he answered, still staring towards her, "twice." The liquor had caused him to become unsteady and he looked almost confused for a moment before he continued.
"One was someone who I thought was the love of my life," she sucked in a breath, praying that he wasn’t speaking of her. "The other was the love of my life, or is," he whispered.
She opened her mouth to speak but he silenced her. "I love you Jess, but you love him. I know you do," he sighed. "I see you everyday, the way you laugh when he’s near you, how your eyes light up when he walks into the room…and I can’t even begin to compete."
She bit her lip as tears fell from his eyes, his beautiful face flawed by pain. "I love you," he murmured, as he moved closer, his eyes angry. "I love you so much, I did everything to make you love me too," he said as he reached her.
She backed up against the counter, terrified. "JC…"
"NO!" he shouted, "I’m not finished. I tried to make you love me, the way I love you, to make you want me the way you want him…" his voice softened to a low murmur, an imitation of his sober, loving voice as he reached out and gently stroked the contours of her face. "You’re so beautiful," she could smell the alcohol on his breath, and it scared her, he was tainted.
"JC, I do love you," she murmured, bravely wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "more than I could ever love Justin, or anyone else," she whispered, caressing his neck as he groaned softly.
She took the drink from his hand and placed in on the counter in praying he would forget it, then kissed him passionately, in hopes of dousing his beginnings of anger. She felt her heart start to race as he broke the kiss and shied away, frowning. The last thing she wanted was an angry, drunk JC; there was no telling what he would do to her.
"Do you see what you do to me?" he asked, wiping his lips as he wobbled slightly. He gained his balance after a few seconds, and stood still. "I can’t control anything I do when I’m around you…" he muttered, shaking his head.
"JC," she whispered, taking his hand. She led him over to the bed, and helped him in, then followed, sitting beside him as he lay on his back staring back up at her.
She bent down to kiss his lips, then smiled. "Get some rest, " she murmured as he reached up and pulled her onto his chest. He then rolled them over, kissing her hard. She broke the kiss and tried to back away but the weight of his body kept her in place.
"JC, what are you doing?" she asked, her voice quavering. He ignored her comment and kissed her again, only harder, grinding his body into hers.
"Josh!" she screamed after a few moments, tears starting to spring into her eyes, her arms trying to push him away in vain. Only then did he understand his actions.
He stopped, and looked down, his powerful steel blue eyes looking down into her broken brown ones. He saw a distinct look of fear- fear of him, and even in his drunken state, it broke his heart. And then, it was as if his world had stopped, the blur that the liquor had caused seemed to melt, and it seemed as though all he could see was the tear that floated down her cheek.
He rolled off her, closing his eyes and rubbing his face before he turned to her. "Oh my God," he whispered, "what am I doing?" he said, as he reached to her, kissing her hand gently to show he was sorry.
"I am so sorry baby," he continued, his body shaking as he spoke. "I just wanted to make you love me…" he said, his voice still full of pain, the look on his face showing his utter confusion.
She smiled gently to show she wasn’t upset and rolled out of the bed. He didn’t move, just stared up towards her, his eyes now a softer, weaker shade of sapphire. His lower lip quivered as he reached out to her, his arm never fully making it to her body. She pulled the navy blue comforter across his broad chest and watched as he closed his eyes slowly, his arm dropping to his side. His face twitched as her lips met the stubble that had formed on his cheek, startling her slightly.
"I do love you JC," she whispered almost silently, as she slowly stepped backwards and sunk down onto the leather chair beside the bed, for the first time aware that she was uncontrollably shaking. She felt hopeless tears spring into her eyes as she watched him sleep, finally at peace, his tormented heart finally resting.
Next
Turbulent Skies Main
Jess' Main
Home
Email the Author: Jess