*You Gave Me Everything*
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“You Gave Me Everything”
By: Tricia Kuchler © 1999
Chapter 1
Created on: August 28, 1999
Finished on: October 10, 1999
Mandy Culwright stared at the CD in her hands. It was her ex-boyfriends group, The Backstreet Boys. She shifted her reddish-blonde hair to her left shoulder as she opened the CD jacket. When she looked on the third page, her breath was taken away. Kevin. When they broke up, neither one wanted to. It was just decided because Kevin wasn’t home a lot. The relationship suffered because of it. The last words they said to each other were “I love you”.
Mandy had continued to follow Kevin’s success. She was still friends with Brian’s girlfriend, Marissa and also Nick’s girlfriend, Claire. She and Kevin had dated for three and a half years so the guys were her friends too. Howie and AJ had been very close with her. Their girlfriends had been a little jealous of the relationship that the two of them had with Mandy. AJ’s girlfriend was Allison and Howie’s was Casey.
As Mandy scanned the pages of the CD jacket, she looked at the credits, finding out that Kevin wrote a song. “Back To Your Heart” was the song and Mandy was filled with a nervousness. She wanted to here Kevin’s work so bad. He had always talked about his aspirations to write.
She quickly put the CD on to number nine. The sounds of a piano filled her house as she turned the music up.
“It’s not that I can’t live without you
It’s just that I don’t even want to try
Every night I dream about you
Ever since the day we said goodbye
If I wasn’t such a fool
Right now I’d be holding you
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
Baby if I only knew
The words to say
The roads to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart
I don’t know how it got so crazy
But I’ll do anything to set things right
Cause your love is so amazing
Baby you’re the best thing in my life
Let me prove my love is real
And made you feel the way I feel
I promise I would give the world
If only you would tell me girl
The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart
Give me one more chance, to give my love to you
Cause no one on this earth loves you like I do, tell me
The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart
I turn back time
To make you mine
And find a way back to your heart
I beg and plead
Fall to my knees
To find a way back to your heart
The words to say
The road to take
To find a way back to your heart
What can I do
To get to you
And find a way back to your heart…”
Mandy sat there, speechless. The song, she believed, was about their relationship. Kevin missed her too? She wouldn’t have guessed that. After they broke up she really hadn’t heard much from him except a birthday card. He sent her flowers at Christmas, but not her favorite, which he knew. He didn’t want to get her hopes up, and then not have him there for her.
End of Chapter 1
“You Gave Me Everything”
By: Tricia Kuchler © 1999
Chapter 2
Kevin sat in his hotel room, surrounded in loneliness. All the other guys were calling their girlfriends to say how much they missed them. Kevin couldn’t stand it.
He looked at another girl and was remind of Mandy. He had loved her so much. He wanted to be there for her every second of every day and he just couldn’t do that. He couldn’t live up to his own expectations. He looked into her normally lively dark green eyes and saw the sadness. Even when they were together it was spent catching up.
He wished he could have a real relationship with her. They had been together for so long. And when Kevin decided that he wanted to write a song, she was his inspiration. She always was no matter what he did. Whether it was writing a song, or just fooling around on the piano, or getting in front of a huge crowd, she was the one that made it possible.
He missed her. And he didn’t know why he broke up with her. He couldn’t stand to be without her. And it broke his heart, knowing that she didn’t send him a birthday card on his birthday. At least he had done that. He couldn’t see things from her side.
<<<<< *~*Mandy*~* >>>>>
Mandy picked up the phone quickly, dialing Marissa’s phone number. “Hello?” Marissa asked, sounding annoyed. “Hey, its Mandy. Is this a bad time?” Mandy asked. “Oh hi! No, I’m on the other line with Brian though,” Marissa told her. “Oh ok. Well, can you ask him who ‘Back To Your Heart’ is about for me real fast?” Mandy asked. “So you did hear it,” Marissa told her. “Yeah, I just finished listening to it,” Mandy told her. “Ok, well I’ll ask him,” Marissa said, disappearing to the other line.
“Brian, hunny, Mandy wants to know who ‘Back To Your Heart’ is about,” Marissa asked. “So babe, she figured it out?” Brian asked. “Yeah, should I tell her?” Marissa asked. “Yeah. I think so. Kevin misses her so much. Oh, but don’t tell her that last one,” Brian said. “Ok, I won’t. Well, babe, let me go talk to her, ok?” Marissa asked. “Ok, bye hun,” Brian said, hanging up the phone.
“Ok Mandy?” Marissa asked. “Yeah, hi!” Mandy said. “Ok, well don’t get too excited, it’s about you,” Marissa told her. Mandy’s eyes filled with tears. “Hun, are you ok?” Marissa asked. “Yeah,” Mandy lied. Marissa and Mandy were like best friends now. Ever since Mandy and Kevin broke up, Marissa talked to her more and they just got along really well. “Ok, I’m coming over and I’m bringing the girls,” Marissa said. “Ok,” Mandy said. “Don’t hesitate or anything,” Marissa joked. “Just get over here,” Mandy told her. “Ok, ok, bye bye!” Marissa told her.
<<<<< *~*An hour later*~* >>>>>
“Feeling any better?” Allison asked, stepping into Mandy’s house. “No,” Mandy said. “Look don’t worry, ok? Obviously he still likes you,” Claire told her. “But I don’t know. That’s the thing. Why doesn’t he tell me? Instead, I have to hear it in a song,” Mandy complained. “I don’t know, I think it’s kind of romantic,” Casey said. They all rolled their eyes. Casey thought everything was romantic in some way or another. “Oh shut up,” Casey said, knowing what they were thinking.
“Well, we know you still like him. What are you going to do about it?” Allison asked. “What can I do?” Mandy asked. “Ok, look. You have two options. You can go to him or you can wait for something that may never happen,” Marissa reasoned with her. “I know,” Mandy said. “Can I at least wait for them to come home from this tour?” Mandy asked. “Yeah, I guess so,” Casey said. “In the meantime, we can give you a makeover. Come on, it’ll make you feel better,” Claire said, her hazel eyes shining with her brown hair. Her hair had dark red highlights. “Well, ok,” Mandy told them. “Alright guys, come on!” Allison said.
End of Chapter 2
“You Gave Me Everything”
By: Tricia Kuchler © 1999
Chapter 3
Several weeks later and all Mandy listened to was “Millennium”. Her favorite song was “Back To Your Heart”. She found herself playing it right before she would go to sleep, keep the volume low and keeping the song on repeat. Marissa knew about this and was a little worried about Mandy.
<<<<< *~* >>>>>
“But guys, come on, she’s in love with him all over again,” Marissa reasoned with Allison, Claire, and Casey. “So what? She loves him. I don’t think she ever really fell out of love,” Allison said. “Do you think Kevin still feels the same way?” Claire asked after a moment of silence. “How could he? He’s the one that broke up with her,” Casey reasoned. “That doesn’t matter, necessarily. He might have done it because he couldn’t deal with it being on the road so much. I know sometimes Nick and I have our problems because we’re never alone together,” Claire told them. “Same here,” Marissa said, thinking of her relationship with Brian. Allison nodded her head. “As much fun as it is being with any one of these guys – they’re all sweeties – it’s hard too. They don’t have much time to themselves,” Casey said. “I say we just let them figure it out. Maybe they’ll go to each other. I really think Mandy’s going to say something, at least about ‘Back To Your Heart’,” Claire said.
<<<<< *~* >>>>>
Mandy sat in her car on the way to work, think of Kevin. She couldn’t help but not think about him. He had been her life for so long and then everything changed. She never let go of him. He never let go of her heart, whether he was willing to admit that or not. She had always loved him. She hoped, deep down in her heart, that he always loved her as well. She needed him. When they broke up, she still thought of him. She still wanted him. It wasn’t even like they broke up really, because he was just gone again, it wasn’t any different.
<<<<< *~*Kevin*~* >>>>>
Kevin sat in his bunk, thinking. “Hey Kev, what’s up?” AJ asked, sitting across from Kevin in his own bunk. “Nothing much bone, just thinking,” Kevin said. “Mind telling me about what?” AJ asked. “Actually, it’s kinda personal,” Kevin told him. “Oh, so it’s about Mands?” AJ asked. Kevin looked away, trying to hide the pain that was evident in his eyes. “Kev, man, it’s ok to think about her. You did what you felt you had to do,” AJ told him. “That’s just it. Was I right in doing what I did? I might have felt like I had to do it at the time but I’m not so sure now,” Kevin said. “What’s sparking this up all of a sudden? You guys have been broken up for a long time,” AJ said. “Cause I never let her go, not really. I broke up with her for selfish reasons. I did it all for myself and I honestly didn’t think of how she would react,” Kevin told him. “Kevin, try not to worry about it too much. If you guys were meant to be together, it’ll happen,” AJ told him. Kevin nodded. “Why don’t you sleep on it,” AJ said, leaving the bunkroom.
Kevin laid his head back on his pillow staring up. His thoughts couldn’t leave his head and soon he was asleep, dreaming about Mandy.
<<<<< Dream sequence >>>>>
Kevin and Amanda were on the beach. Kevin’s arms were wrapped around her from the back and they were just staring out at the ocean. Kevin kissed her neck, brushing her hair aside. “I love you. Marry me?” Kevin asked. “No Kevin, I can’t,” Mandy said. The sky turned black, and the ocean was swirling around their heads. She left go of his hand and the ocean disappeared. Darkness filled their world and Kevin was left, standing alone.
<<<<< *~* >>>>>
Kevin sat straight up, forgetting he was on the lower bunk and hit his head. A tear rolled down his cheek. It was his fault that he wasn’t with the one woman he had loved for so long. Loved? Loves, Kevin thought.
End of Chapter 3
“You Gave Me Everything”
By: Tricia Kuchler © 1999
Chapter 4
The boys had been home for nearly two weeks now. Tonight, Mandy was hanging out with AJ and Howie to catch up a little. She got ready, throwing on a tank top and jean shorts, nothing fancy. The guys would be at her house in about five minutes.
Soon the doorbell rang and in stepped AJ and Howie. “Hey guys, how are ya?” Mandy asked, giving them each hugs. “Nothing much, how’s my Manda Bear?” AJ asked. “I’m good,” Mandy said, laughing at AJ’s nickname for her a little. “Are Allison and Casey treating you any better?” Howie asked. “Yeah, we haven’t fought in quite awhile. I think they got used to me hanging out with the two of you. Don’t worry, we’re friends now,” Mandy told them. “Uh-oh,” AJ said, raising his eyebrows and looking at Howie. “What?” Mandy asked. “Now we can’t tell you all of our secrets about them,” AJ told her. They all laughed.
After hanging out for a little, Amanda brought up the subject of “Back To Your Heart”. “Girl, stop obsessing over it. Yes, he wrote it about you,” AJ told her. Mandy’s eyes clouded over and she looked away. The tears started to fall and she couldn’t look at the guys. “Sweetie, why’re you crying?” Howie asked, moving next to her. “Cause no one understands. I still love him. I never stopped. I never wanted to lose him,” Mandy cried. AJ also sat next to her, giving her a hug, comforting her. “Hunny, why don’t you tell Kevin?” AJ asked. Mandy backed away. “How can I do that? He’s the one who wanted to break up,” Mandy said. “He didn’t want to,” Howie said. AJ gave him a look. “What?” Mandy asked, stopping in her tracks. “Listen to the song, Mandy,” Howie told her. “I listen to it every god damn day,” Mandy said. “Listen to the words,” AJ said. “Look we should be going,” Howie told her. “Are you guys mad at me?” Mandy asked. “No, but we think you should be alone,” AJ told her. “Ok,” Mandy said. She gave the guys a hug and showed them out of her house.
<<<<< *~* >>>>>
Mandy went up to her room and put “Back To Your Heart” on. She listened to the words and felt like an idiot. She hadn’t realized it before. In the song, Kevin expresses how much he misses her. She hadn’t ever listened to that part of the song before. Sure, she had heard it a billion times, but it had just never occurred to her what his feelings could be. She now had an urge to go and see him.
<<<<< *~*Several Days Later*~* >>>>>
Mandy had thought so much about Kevin in the last couple of days. She wanted to see him again, talk to him, and hear his voice. She couldn’t bear to do it, but at the same time, she needed to. She knew it was going to hurt to see him because she loved him so much, but she wanted to know what he was up to. She wanted to know why he had written “Back To Your Heart”. She wanted to see him again.
She wanted to see if he needed her too. She wanted to see if she was worrying so much in the last month for nothing. She knew deep down that she was probably doing it for the right reasons, but still, there was always that doubt in the back of her mind.
Mandy stared up at Kevin’s house. She hadn’t been there since the day they broke up. She parked her car and started up his steps. She reached the door, taking a deep breath after ringing the doorbell. She waited for what seemed like years to her.
“Amanda, hi,” Kevin said.
Mandy couldn’t believe how much he looked like she did. Not in the way he looked, but the sadness behind his eyes. The worry written all over his face. The regret.
“Hi Kevin. I need to talk to you about something,” Mandy told him.
End of Chapter 4
“You Gave Me Everything”
Chapter 5
By: Tricia Kuchler © 1999
“Oh ok. Come in,” Kevin said, stepping aside, allowing Mandy to step into his house. “Thanks,” Mandy said. They walked into the living room, sitting next to each other on the couch. They sat in silence for a couple minutes.
“So, what’s up?” Kevin asked. “Kev, I can’t do this like this. I need to come right out and say it,” Mandy told him. “Ok, go ahead,” Kevin said, now intrigued. “Is ‘Back To Your Heart’ about me?” Mandy asked. Kevin stared back at her.
For some reason he couldn’t tell her that it was. It hurt him too much. Without hearing from her in nearly a year, the only reason she comes to see him is because she thinks a song was written about her. No, Kevin thought, that wasn’t right. She can’t do this.
“No,” Kevin answered coldly. “Oh. Um, sorry for coming by like this,” Mandy said, getting up. She had tears in her eyes and couldn’t bear to look at Kevin one more time that night. “It’s ok,” Kevin said, also looking away, for his eyes were filled with tears as well. He knew she was hurt by what he had just told her.
“Well, it was nice seeing you. I have to go,” Mandy said, her voice wavering as her emotions were overtaking her. “Yeah, I’ll see you around,” Kevin said, swallowing hard. Mandy walked to the door and looked back into the living room before stepping out of Kevin’s life.
Kevin was sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. He had a feeling he was being watched and looked up. For a moment, their tear filled eyes met, but they were too far apart to see that the other person was feeling the exact same thing that they were. “Sorry,” Mandy said, walking out the door.
<<<<< *~* >>>>>
Mandy ran to her car, trying not to let the tears fall. Rain poured down, soaking her before she even made it to her car. She got inside and could no longer hold the tears back. Why would the other guys lie and say the song was about me? Mandy couldn’t understand that. Even AJ and Howie, her best guy friends, lied to her. Now she felt like a complete idiot, not to mention alone.
She had spent the last month obsessing over a song that she thought was written about her, for her. She was heartbroken, for the second time in her life. The tears poured out of her eyes, over her cheeks and she had a hard time focusing on the road. She made it home safe, however, and ran up to her room, crying into her pillow.
<<<<< *~*Kevin*~* >>>>>
Kevin lay back on the couch. Why did I do that? She was crying. Oh god! Why do I do this to myself? I need her and I just made her cry. I can’t believe myself.
Why did I tell her the song wasn’t about her? And I made her feel like an idiot. I just can’t think when she’s around. I need her so much that it’s tearing my life apart otherwise.
Kevin’s mind was made up. He grabbed his keys and headed out to his car. He knew he had to do this. This was what he had been waiting to do since that night so long ago, it seemed. That night was a mistake.
End of Chapter 4
“You Gave Me Everything”
Chapter 5
By: Tricia Kuchler © 1999
Mandy was still crying when she heard someone knocking on her front door. She tried to brush the tears away, but it was no use, they kept falling. She got out of bed, and trudged to the door.
As she opened it, hope filled her heart. “Kevin,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry,” Kevin said, stepping in, hugging her. Neither of them cared that he was soaked from the pouring rain outside the house. Mandy wrapped her arms around him. This was how it was supposed to be, for both of them.
“Can we talk?” Kevin asked. Mandy nodded. “Come on,” she said, taking his hand and leading him into the living room. They sat on the couch next to each other for the second time that day.
“Ok, well I don’t know why I said that the song wasn’t about you earlier. Mands, I love you. I always have and I don’t really know why I broke up with you. I mean, sure we had our problems with the distance, but we loved each other. Every time I do something all I think of is you. I can’t move on because I don’t want to. I want to be with you again,” Kevin told her, looking into her eyes.
Mandy couldn’t believe what she just heard. “Kevin, I love you too. We can do this, can’t we?” Mandy asked. Kevin nodded. “I’m so sorry that I made you cry,” Kevin said, moving closer to her, giving her another hug. “It’s ok,” Mandy said. “No, it’s not. I’ve put you through enough,” Kevin said. “Do you want to do this again?” Kevin asked.
Mandy sat there for a second, thinking. She knew she loved him. She knew she wanted to be with him, but she was reminded of everything that had gone wrong before. “Yeah, I mean, we’re taking a chance, but I’m willing to do it if you are,” Mandy told him. “Oh yeah, I am very willing. I’ve missed you so much,” Kevin told her. “I missed you too,” Mandy said. She moved closer to him, snuggling her body against his. Her head lay on his chest. Kevin laid back and pulled her next to him.
“Kevvy, I’d love to stay like this, but you’re soaking wet,” Mandy complained. “Oh, yeah, I know. Sorry,” Kevin told her. “Nah, it’s ok,” she told him. “Well, why don’t we talk tomorrow?” Kevin asked. “Ok, but don’t drive home in the rain, stay here, on the couch,” Mandy said. “Are you sure?” Kevin asked. “Yeah, I insist,” she told him. Kevin kissed her forehead and then Mandy got up. “Night Kev,” Mandy said, heading to the stairs. “Goodnight,” Kevin told her.
<<<<< *~* >>>>>
Mandy went upstairs not believing what just happened. She couldn’t believe that he just came over like that. And Kevin was usually so stubborn. All of a sudden, Mandy heard something that sounded a little weird.
The next thing she knew she was sitting straight up in bed. It had all been a dream. No wonder Kevin was being perfect. It was all in her head, once again. She couldn’t believe she thought it would be that easy to get back with him.
<<<<< *~* Kevin *~* >>>>>
Kevin wasn’t sure he knew what he was doing. He was sitting in his car and he decided that he better not go to Mandy. She was probably really mad at him and wouldn’t want to talk to him anyway, right? He didn’t want to take the chance. But deep down, he thought, yes he did. He started the car and began to go to Mandy’s house.
<<<<< *~* Mandy *~* >>>>>
Mandy was more upset now. She knew nothing like that would ever really happen. That was too happy. And if Kevin ever did come over, it wouldn’t happen like that. It wouldn’t be so easy.
End of Chapter 5
