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My Journal
OK this is where im gonna make journal entries so you losers can adjust your lives to mine because I know everyone wants to be like me. This is also so when someone makes a movie about how badass my life is they include everything and don't put any bullshit. They gotta keep it real. I can't wait to see it because i know Godsmack gonna write a new song for it and it's going to be killer.
September 12, 2004
What up? It's saturday and i went searchin for a new job since the oregano isn't working out. The kids are on to me. Nah they just too afraid to get a little high is all. Shit listen to this: The metro i stole got reported and so i had to get rid of that joker. But not before i took out its system. I applied to food lion a week ago but they didn't accept. I guess they ain't ready for me yet. Other than that today has been pretty regular i guess. Picked up a few chicks downtown... just routine stuff really. Peace
September 13, 2004
Got a job interview comin up for wal mart. If only they knew how much shit i stole from there. I sense a change coming. Something big. But first i gotta kick this little kid's ass who looked at me funny.
September 17, 2004
Man I hate slow people so much. I was tryin to get up the stairs to the top so i could take a leak off the roof, and some bitch was in front of me takin her time. Man i was gettin all pissed and just felt like breakin shit. She was steppin on every single step on the way up. Hitting every step is like driving the speed limit on the highway..too fuckin slow. WE GOTS PLACES TO BE, BITCH. I'm gonna go smoke a blunt. later.
September 22, 2004
I know I haven't updated this in a while but that's because i been in jail. Nah, not really. Actually I just aint feel like it, ok? But whenever they make the movie about me they can just say i was in jail because that would just be badass. Me being in jail ruining the guards' shit. Then the governor pardon me because i'm such a badass. It be like *RING RING*
Governor: Yo let me speak to Angus
Warden: Yes sir.
Governor: Don't fuckin talk to me. I'm the governor, god dammit.
Me: Who the fuck is this?
Governor: It's the governor
Me: I dont give a fuck who you are. What you want?
Governor: You are such a badass so im gonna pardon you.
Me: Shit bo, fo real?
Governor: Yes sir. By the way, how come you are such a badass?
Me: If you gonna pardon me just do it, but i dont feel like talkin to little shits like you.
Governor: yes of course, im sorry. consider it done. But really, how do you do it?
*CLICK*
then i just have sex with his wife and take his job. ya make sure you producers include that shit.
October 1, 2004
yo what up? Today at school they made me take some lame math test. Where in The Book of Badass does it say anything about math? no where. I know, i wrote that shit. I just threw it away and put my head on my desk. live by the book. die by the book. break shit by the book. other than that it's been pretty smooth rolling. It's October so you know Halloween coming up pretty soon. Man i can't wait i be bag snatchin and jay walking and all kinds of illegal shit. Fuck. I just felt like saying fuck. ahh. later, losers.
