How strong is grace?

As an intermission to my story of 10 years ago, which is a story hanging in the background of all I currently am and do, I have to stop and ask a question this week, take a deep breath and step back and quiet myself.

I have a number of friends, who are still good friends, who think that all expressions and forms of homosexuality are sin. They believe that if you aren't actively "struggling" against being gay and seeking transformation into a straight person, what they see as being "truely repentant," then you're rebelling against God and are not really a Christian. Or rather, you think you're a Christian but you're not (by their standards).

These friends also fervently believe that if you just pray enough and read the Bible and "walk the walk" that same-sex desires will disappear and be replaced with heterosexual desires: but only if you really want them too. If you really want to change, then you can change. You can convince yourself of anything if you just try hard enough. And if you fail, well, it just means that your faith in God isn't strong enough. Keep working on strengthening your faith and someday you'll be straight and perfectly-aligned with God's plan for your life.

I'm still friends with these people because I see their hearts; they honestly mean well and think that by believing what they do that they're loving me. I would also like to think that there's a mutual respect between us, not because we necessarily agree on all points of theology but because we're brothers and sisters in Christ.

But how far does that respect go, exactly? On either side? If I were to get married at some point to a same-sex partner, would they end their friendship with me? If they were to advocate transformation by forceable means, like "re-education" camps for children and young adults (which are becoming increasingly popular), could I still be friends with them? From our very different, yet perhaps parallel moral seats, at what point do our senses of injustice and outrage interfere with our ability to be brothers and sisters in Christ? How strong is grace in us?

I do not want to be someone who has friends and relationships with people who all think exactly the same way that I do. I do not want to live in a cultural microcosm. I do not want to automatically react in fear or anger to people who have different views than me, especially if those views threaten or offend me. I want to continue to be someone who is committed to dialogue and conversation. I want to continue to be someone who is open-minded and is able to grow intellectually and spiritually.