i've decided that this blog will be moreso an outlet of my thoughts and feelings, rather than a day-to-day recap of my life...plus, none of my friends know of this blog so i am more free to express myself here.
well, i had a nice dream last night. it was so realistic, which sort of saddens me because it just was not real. he was so tangible, too--i felt myself hugging him, being close to him and able to smell him.
dreams like that one only make me feel sad and lonely. i truly do miss him...i just wonder though, do i miss him because i really do love him? or just because he's the only one there for me, a safety net because i don't want to be lonely? sometimes my feelings confuse me too much. i can be so harsh about my own feelings..it seems i am torn in two about the way i feel.