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« August 2003 »
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31
Friday, 15 August 2003

48 hours later:


Units of alcohol consumed: 42
Nightclub dancefloors trampled in a self-absorbed dragtastic frenzy: 5
Times accused of dancing 'like a whore': 2 (fucking cheek)
Hours spent sleeping: 3 (on floor while being tortured by new naughtykittens, not deep sleep)
Number of cats cuddled: five (including two naughtykittens, awww)
Varieties of food eaten: Cup of coffee in Surbiton, Chicken burger in Kingston, Panini in Epsom, Frites in Mayfair, and Sushi in Piccadilly. Cramptastic!

Contextual info: Next week I start work as a practice manager in Harley Street (for an Ear Nose and Throat consultant). It's going to be such a bloody laugh, that is. The customers are all sheikhs and opera singers.

New jobs I attempted to learn how to do while still pissed: 2
New jobs I succeeded in looking even slightly competent at: zero.
Drunken phone calls to America from a mobile: 1
Insincerity of same: total.
Amount of crucial information relating to the safety and well being of others that will be retained from today's healthcare professional orientation: 1 item (knowledge that I cannot work a fax machine)
Items of knowledge I was specifically instructed to keep from new employer: 3

(do not say: I've never touched a fax machine before;
do not say: it's fifteen years since I did any office work;
do not say: I've decided to pretend to be deaf while I work for you.)

Number of times screamed in a shrill fashion upon seeing a surgical implement, or the word 'skull': 6 (could be better)
Most effective (successful) excuse for a day off before having even started a job: I have things to do

And they're going to give me money for this!

This page graced by sarsparilla at 2:48 AM BST
Updated: Saturday, 16 August 2003 12:39 AM BST
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Friday, 15 August 2003 - 3:51 AM BST

Name: Vic Jameson @#%$! Chris B
Home Page: http://jaynair.blogspot.com

New job, ooooooooh, exciting. Well, scary as crap but who's to tell the difference? Are you going to pretend to be deaf without telling him? That could be fun, unless you have some horrendous tinnitus attack coming on then it wouldn't.

By sister does office work and loves it. I think it's a stapling fetish...

Friday, 15 August 2003 - 9:17 AM BST

Name: Alex Buell

What's a "by sister"? Is that anything like a "by law"?

Friday, 15 August 2003 - 2:06 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

It's a mixture of wanting to be difficult, so I don't get given extra work, and wanting him to want to look in my ears, so I can refuse.

Friday, 15 August 2003 - 2:07 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Ooooh, Alex, Chris's sister is gorgeous, and perverted, too. (:?D)

Friday, 15 August 2003 - 4:37 PM BST

Name: Vic Jameson c.u.m Chris B
Home Page: http://jaynair.blogspot.com

It's a bit like a:
eriu atq eu cqyvd euu zuzh9jyhq
:-D

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