apolutrosis, or redemption
Topic: Creepy Lesbo
Reading and watching and listening and thinking has me, well, thinking.
You'll forgive a rambling, disconnected hiatus while I try to work out what to do with my life. It won't make sense to you. No apologies for that. The point has ceased to be intelligibility. Stop reading it.
I play this game.
It's pointless and annoys me, yet I'm compelled to play on
Searching for reasons isn't the point
The process is the answer
The journey, not the destination
We're all seeking redemption in some way
looking to forget our past
am I just here to be haunting the place?
depressed, trapped, helpless?
wandering about, unable to change
unable to change the situation
And what aobut my soul - do I even have one?
But redemption is a recovery
of something
something sold, or lost
deliverance
rescue
"(Theol.) The procuring of God's favor by the sufferings and death of Christ; the ransom or deliverance of sinners from the bondage of sin and the penalties of God's violated law.
In whom we have redemption through his blood. --Eph. i. 7."
salvation from sin? What sin?
"the purchase back of something that had been lost, by the payment of a ransom.
The Greek word so rendered is _apolutrosis_, a word occurring nine times in Scripture, and always with the idea of a ransom or price paid"
A price paid.
A recovery
of what's been lost.
Yes, I can see that one.
But through blood?
Where do I have to bleed?
Where do I have to go?
How hard will it be to
move myself
to pay the future's ransom
to purchase my freedom from all this?
And if it can be done, then why can it be done?
And what does permanent mean?
What do I do?
How do I forget the things I did
but make room for the things I wish to do
How do I forget the things I am
and make room for the person I will be
And is it possible?
To change that much?
What is redemption, is it a bribe?
A serendipitous, spiritual bribe?
Blood money to shut your soul up for another ten years?
How is that possible?
Why is it possible? how is that fair?
Do I stay in this hole, hiding
haunting myself
Do I assume inviolability
That the past doesn't matter?
Do I plague myself
with questions
in the hope
the assurance
the inevitability
the hope of stasis?
What do I do / what did I do / what shall I do.
Here / there / maybe nowhere.
Redemption. Buying it back.
If nothing we do matters, then . . .
all that matters . . .
is what . . .
we do.
This page graced by sarsparilla
at 2:23 AM BST
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