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Wednesday, 3 September 2003

Chips with gravitas pliz

I've been trying to push my luck at work, to test my new theory that I've achieved new gravitas and standing just by having lived longer than I had last year. My theory involves pissing about blatantly, or robbing them blind, and waiting to see if they actually comment, much less object.
Round 1 - blatant four hour tea break in the office with feet up, biccies and a paper, when working against a deadline.
Me half a point, jatb half a point. Somebody came by and 'offered' to meet my deadline for me twice (see yesterday's blog), then sighed and went off and started the work without me.
Round 2 - Setting up a tv in my room, and watching Trisha on full volume with the doors open, when working against a deadline.
Me two points, jatb nil points.
Round 3 - Nicking the tv and giving it away to a friend.
Haven't developed the bottle to do this yet....
Round 4 - Performing hits from corny musicals in the corridors when up against a deadline.
Rounds 5 and 6 - yet to be invented.
I'm on Round 4 tomorrow, and I've bet jatb a fiver that if I continue in this vein, they'll not even mention that my behaviour is becoming a little odd by Friday.

Adding weight to the spurious smell of 'gravitas' is the repeat of yesterday's promotion convo, today. I hadn't looked that eager, so they went away and sweetened the deal for me (bastards! I don't want to do it, but greed and curiosity are pulling me, pulling me doooooowwwwwwwwn....)
It's a bit like last Easter, when I lost all interest in working for a living and disappeared for two weeks straight, then turned up back at work again. Quite contrary to the bollocking and marching orders I had expected, suddenly I could do no wrong - I'd gone in a trice from 'gullible wage slave loser' to 'management material written all over her'. They sent me on all these courses about becoming a senior manager.
Weird, huh? In a 1940s BBC information film I'd be the twitching dumbshow visual behind the double-barrelled announcer "Workers! Don't make effort at work. Promotions is gained by disassociation from the working class. Act as though you are no longer dependent on money. If you appear too unstable to make a living, you will be admired and feted by your betters."
Today's deal is double the money, and I don't have to do my current job at the same time, like before. That surprised the heck out of me (I hadn't been negotiating, I genuinely don't want to do it.) I'm holding out for no responsibility for mistakes, and all confrontational situations taken off my hands. Cos I'm a delicate sensitive flower.

So, here's where my luck patently migrated from:
CNPS - 19. Still.
Celebdaq - 32677th place.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 11:36 PM BST
Updated: Thursday, 4 September 2003 12:03 AM BST
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Thursday, 4 September 2003 - 12:24 AM BST

Name: Andrew

Congratulations! You may have tried not to look like you were fishing for compliments, but I know you were! Accept the offer, what have you got to lose? If you don't like it you can go back to doing something more hands-on in another institution.

Thursday, 4 September 2003 - 6:17 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

No... I really wasn't! How could it be any kind of sincere recognition, given the way I've been behaving. They either havea screw loose, or they're desperate.
Still prevaricating, anyway, I reckon it's pants really. Only arrogance or another car crash would make me accept it. The former may prove strong, though.

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