Sunday, 24 August 2003 - 12:27 AM BST

At least its not as bad as the time my mum was trusted with my brothers Banazi Tree. She never watered it for 3 weeks and he came back to it being dead.

Sunday, 24 August 2003 - 12:31 AM BST

Guilt made me furnish her fridge with the ingredients for a feast for when she gets back.

I feel less bad about the plants though, because when I watered them they were covered in huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge spiders, which scared the hell out of me. They deserve to be toast for that.

Still, it prevented me from watching 'Psychic Night' on C4 - I'd have been cakking my pants at every single creak in the house by now.

Sunday, 24 August 2003 - 3:22 AM BST

I'm too damn vocal for my own good so you're getting yet another comment from me. Ya must be sick, eh?

So is the garden dead after its two days of parching? I find plants are generally pretty resiliant to neglect, especially weeds, they love it.

Ooh, added a link to you in my blog now, hope that's okay (asking out of politeness really, I know you love the fame and adoration).

Sunday, 24 August 2003 - 4:55 AM BST

Ive never managed to get there before ten pm so I have no idea what's dead and what's alive, or whether I'm actually watering a wall. I narrowly avoided hitting the neighbours, having a romatic outdoors meal just beyond the hole in the fence, tonight. I ran, first, then found courage enough to yell 'halloooo there' in a middle class twittering fashion, once I'd put the jetstream away.

Sunday, 24 August 2003 - 3:27 PM BST

So her neighbours are now under the impression that Ozzy Osbourne and family have moved in next door? That's good considering you only went to water the garden.

Take a ham with you next time you go and chuck it their way, I'm sure it'll be appreciated :)

Sunday, 24 August 2003 - 9:42 PM BST

All you need to know about religion is that it is a form of control over the masses. I mean, you'd be stoned to death in certain countries for that is the law according to the scriptures. Bleh, what a load of @#%$!!