Things you overhear

Not always unintentionally, but sometimes removing the context is fun:

"Who needs a blow job when they can have a medium-paced key repeat rate?"

I met her the other day > for the second time in two days, when we don't normally meet each > other that often. She said "Ha! You must think I'm stalking you." > "Oh that's alright," I said. "Take it to the next level if you like." > There was a bit of an awkward silence and she walked off.

"We did used to wonder if you were really gay or just trying to get attention"

"Wonderful news! I'm going on holiday, and I've arranged it so you can do my job instead"

"oi teacher! stop trying to make us feel sorry for your 8 week summer holiday, get out and run around a park or something."

"I had a very rude dream about you last night. Unfortunately, you turned out to be more interested in your Thai prawns"

"You rambled on drunkenly for eight hours? Oh well he'll forgive you for being boring, you're quite sweet when you're drunk."

Anyway... it's baking again, and I've not recovered sufficiently from drinking too much to cope. Apparently the humidity will drop by tomorrow morning, for good. Spent all of yesterday either driving people around London in boiling heat, or drinking in Dave's garden in boiling heat, or boring people with my drunken revelations about the nature of atheism in boiling heat.
I'm meant to be drinking and eating in Edward's garden in West London, right now, but the thought of both clothing and public transport is too scary to contemplate, so I'm merely going to spend the evening loitering by chiller cabinets in the local supermarket, instead.

Itinerary coming up:
Tuesday: visit Winchester Cathedral and learn to put oil in the car.
Wednesday: go clubbing in South West London with yidaho.
Thursday: sleep.
Friday: stalk Seanie. Worry that DH's flight back from NZ is going to land in a jungle and after 20 years lost to civilisation, she'll have to lead the apes out of there.
Weekend: can't remember at all. Sure there was something. Oh, that's it, lightning strikes, I signed up to go out for food and clubbing (Freudian slip, I just typed 'blubbing') with 30 non-straight women whom I've never met before. Yup, quite scared about that one.....
Next Week: do two days of Caroline's job, as a Harley St ear consultant's secretary,while trying to be crap at it, to impress upon her boss that she's a good worker after all. A bit of communist worker type intransigence should do it. Then Suzanne and Simon are visiting, so I need some scary Londoney activity for scaring purposes. Any suggestions? (:D)

This is quite diary-ish, isn't it? I'll knock Alex's Diarist crown off his bonce yet....