My Head Doesn't Hurt

What Happened on my Birthday:
DH gave me an envelope containing vouchers for a nail-job, a foot-job and a head-job. Briefly wondered if this were a rather personal insult, then recalled insisting yesterday that these would prove good presents, and thanked graciously, etc. Nice idea, and I know she's short of cash, since I spent #900 on her prezzie (flight to Oz, next Thursday! oo-er). She then retired to bed, to puke into a bucket.
One look at my stubby talons and worse feet, and I rang the nail peeps and rescheduled the 'pointment for next week (wa-hey! another fun-filled week, heh). But decided to turn up for the haircut, at the most expensive salon in the area, as it was sheduled for a more reasonable hour - the crack of 4pm.
Decided not to wash hair before going, in order not to over-process it, or whatever some wanky hairstylist once told me ... possibly a mistake, judging from the uber-cool stylists' opening words: "blimey! is it raining out?!"
Anyway, one perfectly respectable haircut later (snips the story of the marine orchestrating his filipino girlfriend's haircut next to me, as I'd find it hard to do the accents in text), they demand fifty knicker off of me. I protested loudly that this is free ... we check the till, I demand they check the week's receipts, we drag the manager from a nearby caff ... glorious hoo-ha ensues ... it's on the tip of my tongue to yell "it's a bloody birthday present, of course it was paid for! What kind of a fool would give me an APPOINTMENT for my birthday?!"
Thank christ I didn't. Got home several hairs and fifty knicker lighter, to find that not only was it not part of my present, but never will be. Eeeek!
I suppose the one up-side is that if I were in my 20s, I'd never have gotten away with making such a Hyacinth Bucket in public. They all tolerated my hissy fit very normally, as if to say OF COURSE this is what 33 year olds do in public places. Next week: I practise "I'm afraid you'll find I'm too old to change now"....
Postscript: have dug out DH's permission to tell you this!
Quote of the Day: "a man for pleasure, a woman for children, and a melon for ecstasy"
FBB4: Forgot to post two entries, and it's pretty clear that I'm not winning... argh! Ends this Friday.