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Tuesday, 20 July 2004

Indignation and Rantation

Mood:  incredulous
Topic: Vic Jameson

I'm still in that halfway area, where I wonder if all this dull routine is a good idea, whether I should just fucking rip up the credit card by flying somewhere improbable, when I get home, log on to write one of the last entries on my blog, when ... nothing.

Does not connect. Stupid ISP. The cheapest available in the country, unable to deal with any customer comments by email, I'm used to ringing them up.
Only this time is different. This time they haven't fucked up. They've pulled the plug. I've been booted from my fucking ISP.

A summer entirely devoid of flicking through bollocks on the net flashes before my eyes. They what? They fucking what?! For what reason? For what fucking reason is it pulled?
(thinks: I only called that guy on a messageboard a cocksucker in my head, I didn't say it out loud)

For illegal use.


Apparently, I downloaded a movie. I downloaded it, then shared and uploaded it to others. They even knew the name of the movie. Mean Girls.
Yes, not even a good movie.

Mean Girls! But I went to see that at the cinema! (catch in throat as I nearly - nearly - say 'you can look at my blog for proof if you don't believe me'; I have enough markers of my fall from social dignity already, I don't need others).

When I installed a bit torrent client the other week, I clicked on some movies. Idly. Playing. I started downloading them - Whale Rider, which came down with Spanish overdubbing, and Mean Girls. It took forever, so I stopped the download. And went to see it at the cinema instead.
Idly. Playing. I don't burn CDs and pirate them at the local car boot sale. Almost everyone else I know online does, as it happens. Not me.
I downloaded these two. Watched neither. Deleted them.
Of course I'd be the one they pick up for web piracy. Of course I'd be worth the damn time and effort to raise their stupid corporate figures on crime waves. Why go for the big villains? Why not stand by and let them do what they like, then pick on the penniless half insane bitch who lost everything last year? Of course. Peter Parket (version 2) would. Forget about the little guy.
But. It dawns on me that if I fileshare on torrents or on Kazaa, then if I fail to delete something, it's automatically uploaded to others.

"What you need to do, madam, is to send us a fax saying you've read and agreed to the Terms and Conditions, and to the Acceptable Use policy."
How can I do that?
How can I read the website's Terms and Conditions if I can't get online?
"Just send a note saying you have, and you can check later."
But how can I avoid breaking them if I don't know what they are to break?
"You'll have to go round a friend's house and use their computer, then."
I sense, somehow, that it would be arguing for argument's sake to ask what friends?

The next doozy: "If you offer a written apology regarding your illegal download of the film Mean Girls, than give your name, signature and date, and mark it for the attention of the ISP abuse team, we'll reconnect you."

*pause for sense of shock to flood through already overloaded adrenal system*

So, it was illegal, but an apology is enough? How does that make sense?
I ask about tv programmes. I downloaded whole series-worth. Copyright.
What about music. Copyright.
So I could have my ISP pull the plug for uploading things I legally have on my PC, such as music I've bought?
If it's copyright, yes.
But Kazaa and bit torrent clients don't check copyright, they just upload automatically, don't they?
I'm getting worried about prosecution as a pirate, now, as if I'm making money out of this. Mr ISP Bastard says "it's illegal to have Kazaa" on my machine.
No, it's not.
"Well, no, you're right it's not.
But downloading materials with Kazaa is."
No it's not.
"No, you're right, it's not.
But if the material is copyright, it is."
So it's just me out of millions? I'm starting to feel stupid, and giving up the argument - 'what about everybody else' is a logically redundant argument, usually employed by morons. I prepare to buckle.

"Listen, we know everybody does it, but you've been unlucky."
Oh for riced shakes, so you're actually admitting that it's nonsense? The admission doesn't improve my mood. Nor does the next one.
"The infraction was filesharing, but the apology required is for downloading. Downloading a movie which isn't even on dvd yet."
So if I illegally pirated something less popular you'd turn the blind eye you just admitted to?

Argh. Rage. Blind, purple dot-seeing, furious, fist clenching rage.

I go out. Five pm. Takes me twenty minutes to find somewhere that does faxes. Of course the fax number they gave me doesn't work. Of course I didn't bring my phone. I'm the unluckiest bastard in the world, why would I bring my phone.
Reprise. This time, six pm. Nowhere in Penge sends faxes at six pm. What for?
Rage. Fury. Simmering resentment. Mad stare at the guy in the internet cafe's double take when he sees I'm paying for a fax to an ISP abuse team.

It took a shit fit in Lidl (home of cheap but necessary beer), and the simmering sense of indignity that if I had friends in England, or money, I could be slagging off my ISP in a pub by now, the discovery I can read Creepy Lesbo via my mobile phone, and this morning's realisation that there are other unlucky people in the world to calm me down.

Looking for a scrap of purple note paper on which to scrawl my fax, I'd found the following lines from an unwritten blog post, composed last February.

"There's a lot of things I could have ... or should have done. But I figured out a few weeks ago, that when you get right down to it, most of them don't make a difference one way or another. So what the hell ... why bother?"

Right, I've fired off my indignation to the internet, now. That's what you do if you don't have a girlfriend, money, freedom or friends, you know.


Best Blo'te of the Day So Far: Creepy Lesbo
"Another shit day.

How old am I?
I'm 28.

I can tie my own shoelaces.
I can tell the time (just).
I can pick my nose and eat it (and I still do).

And yet I am still unable to wipe my own arse after a night on the slosh without dragging streaks half way up my back.
Why IS that?"

This page graced by sarsparilla at 6:03 PM BST
Updated: Tuesday, 20 July 2004 6:05 PM BST
Post Comment | View Comments (22) | Permalink | Share This Post

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 6:58 PM BST

Name: billy
Home Page: mean with no warning, no nothing, no - oh, @#%$! that's mean :^(...worse, I am now very worried (glances down at tool bar to see how the latest download is going) they just nailed you because you were file sharing...I normally move my kazaa stuff s that I don't have to share (I'm not a nice person) but the bit download stuff I can't stop :^(...

...oh, is this a good time to mention that I am not who I say I am and this is all *allegedly* :^)... we assume that you are now back online or are you posting from the internet cafe :^)...

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 7:54 PM BST

Name: NC

Before you leave blogworld, how about a week in London in photos? :-)

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 8:29 PM BST

Name: Cheekysquirrel
Home Page:

Don't suppose you mind emailing me the name of the ISP if you don't want to say it out loud?

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 8:33 PM BST

Name: Cheekysquirrel
Home Page:

I note I've lost my 'Quintessence' status.
I wonder how I managed that?

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 8:35 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

You have mail!

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 8:36 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

I know! As I had in the last two months allegedly d/led a full series of Angel, Wonderfalls, the 4400, and Kingdom Hospital, it was a bit of a surprise that they didn't care about that.
Back online now, btw, and ep 2 of 4400 is on its way. If they cut me off it'll be a pain, but I'll just get another ISP, ffs. And name them!

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 8:37 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

There's a month in London in photos on the moblog, but yes, that's a nice time-wasting idea! Thanks!

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 9:35 PM BST

Name: NC

Will look! Sorry didn't know about that one

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 9:43 PM BST

Name: Cheekysquirrel
Home Page:


Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 9:51 PM BST

Name: NC

Really really like the evening photos, the RFH and the nature close ups (and of course the cute doggie)! Ever thought of a second career or something :-)

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 9:58 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Did you? Fuckit, I dunno how. Have I moved you, or have you slipped off the roll? (I'll investigate, so you don't feel left out for the last three days of the blog!)

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 10:05 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Thank you! The one of the RFH doors (on the last page in the moblog) is my desktop picture at the moment. The one of the shadows of people drinking in a cafe at the RFH got me an editor's mention at textamerica. Which roughly equates to 85 extra hits, rather than the 60,000 they promise.
No, I'm not good at photography, although I'm getting slightly better, I still have to delete 200 bad ones each time I shake the camera's disk out - I'm far better at cropping a picture to make out like it's any good. Which is cheating!
I wonder which are the evening photos?

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 10:33 PM BST

Name: Jennifer
Home Page:

How rude and uncivilized of them. I mean, really. How much of a challenge to their pea brains is it to go 'round picking on the little people? At the risk of sounding geriatric, Customer Service just is not what it used to be.

Unless I've miscalculated, 'tis your birthday, is it not? Just wanted to wish you peace, love and happiness for the year ahead. And also that I'll miss having the majority of your words go flying over my head on a regular basis.

Go forth and prosper; best of luck to you.

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 - 11:26 PM BST

Name: looby

Buggers! Seems a) arbitrary b) not based on legislation and c) lacking any coherent moral position.

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 9:03 AM BST

Name: NC

Duh the ones in the evening:-) Thames, Sky over Blackheath, Blakeian Sky, City Airport, Tide Going Out, and one I scribbled as F.Gnd. Don't worry I am sure all photographers crop.

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 11:53 AM BST

Name: Creepy Lesbo
Home Page:

Wow. You can read me via your mobile phone? I'm so impressed! Presumably anyone with a cheap Blogger template can be read though, that means?

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 12:20 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Cheers, Jen - it's tomorrow. I have a palindromic birth date, on the cusp, slap bang in the centre of the summer. When I was little I used to think that meant I was destined for greatness. :)

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 12:23 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Well, my first response was to fire up a torrent client, and a) download a TV ep, b) upload a load of mp3s to the blog, to test it.
Seems likely that the 'newness' of the movie they named was a lot to do with it, cos nothing's happened yet.

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 12:23 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

I suppose so! I didn't try. I had to use google's WAP service to find it, and I think google had something to do with the URL that resulted. Don't Google own Blogger now?

Your post on Monday was 65 telephone pages long. Bedtime reading!

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 1:57 PM BST

Name: Jennifer

Aha...I thought you said it was two days before the demise of the blog. Sentiments remain.

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 4:36 PM BST

Name: Creepy Lesbo
Home Page:

I would never condone my blog as bedtime reading. You might end up with some weird dreams. I assume 65 phone pages is a lot. I don't know because I have a budget phone which I resent using as it is. Yes, Google and Blogger are as one.

Thursday, 22 July 2004 - 12:15 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

Oh well thanks anyway. Technically, over here, it's minutes into today now anyway! :)

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