Saturday, 22 May 2004 - 7:03 PM BST

"## END INTROSPECTION ##"
Do you promise?

July 22 is two months away.
This is going to be the longest goodbye in blog history.

What ever will you do with yourself when you can no longer blog?

Can we place bets on whether you'll really be able to cure your blog addiction?

Saturday, 22 May 2004 - 8:01 PM BST

Sarah already made me promise to stop on July 23rd by buying me a T shirt.

Saturday, 22 May 2004 - 9:00 PM BST

Hmm... Interesting. IRL, I'm really not good at telling people how I feel, or asking for help, so when people meet me, they're actually quite shocked at how different I am. It's so much easier to *write* this stuff down rather than say it. And people get such different perspectives on who you are from your blog, that it confuses even me. Like when someone said that, from my blog, it looked like I had loads of women. Soooo not true! But when I asked others, they agreed with her. *shrug* It doesn't matter what you try to put across on there: people will make their own minds up as to who you are and what your point is anyway.

The only way anyone gets to know me is through my songs, so it's funny that you've actually linked to them through the last posts.. lol. I'm kinda chuffed. And, well, blushed a little to be honest. But, if anyone actually understands them, that's how you get to know me. *shrug* (though the ones on the website are the less.... revealing ones)

Sunday, 23 May 2004 - 7:03 AM BST

...if I buy you a pair of pants will you - nah, forget it :^)...

Sunday, 23 May 2004 - 10:56 AM BST

No! You have to keep blogging! You are the highest pageranked website that links to me ;)

Sunday, 23 May 2004 - 9:07 PM BST

Actually, the process of saying things on a blog, and thus, actually 'saying' them to almost everybody indiscriminately has rendered me awfully, in fact horribly, open IRL. There's barely nothing left I won't tell people I've just met, these days.
Someone I've known all my life said to me the other day that we never talk about anything real, and I had to point out that there aren't any great secrets left for me; anything I'd secretly wanted her to know, I've already said. There isn't any deep held darkness left in my soul that needs unburdening, and that's largely thanks to the blog. The blog and coming out, anyway. It makes you see how silly the idea of 'privacy' is. What's there you can say that everybody else isn't also worried about or secretly fearing?
Although, I did used to be like that years ago, but events and situations had made me become a lot more circumspect. It feels good to have lost it.

PS, I was surprised at how good your songsw were. Oh @#%$!, that came out wrong. You know what I mean - they are GOOD.

Sunday, 23 May 2004 - 9:08 PM BST

ROFL! Cheers, Colin.

Sunday, 23 May 2004 - 9:36 PM BST

Just being honest. ;)

I do check in from time to time though.

Tuesday, 25 May 2004 - 5:25 PM BST

Hey - that's ok - I know what you mean lol. And if you have any influential friends, or anyone, in the music business, then recommend me, will ya? AM on the search for a deal of some type.... *sigh*