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Saturday, 3 April 2004


Now Playing: Guys and Dolls

Topic: Vic Jameson
I'm addicted to cake at the moment. Cake and Easter eggs. Violent thanks to Martin for not telling me I had a chocolate cake goatee and tache all yesterday afternoon. Impressive. Particularly when I bumped into an ex colleague and asked for a job. I shall get you.
My local bakers is a Penge institution: Slatter's.

It used to be owned by a master baker who did all the cakes for The Generation Game - on the conveyor belt, in the icing-cakes-challenges.

The Beckenham branch was the HQ, and used to have signed photos of said competitive cakes alongside Bruce Forsyth. Little bit of Sarf East Lahndan history there.

This is my local Slatter's and it's just been refitted as 'The Cake Store'. It's all pink and bland, and stocked with cutesy pictures of children in a range of skin tones holding whisks with smudges on their noses.
Apparently, Mr Slatter's son, Kenny Slatter, has inherited the business, and wants to stamp his own image on the chain. Which apparently consists of making cakes that look like large tits for Peter Andre.

Still, the cakes are the same. Well, apart from their new 'saucy cake' range, I guess.

Actually, that looks right up Brucie's street.

This page graced by sarsparilla at 3:40 PM GMT
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Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 4:33 AM GMT

Name: Missuh
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Never has an icing penis ever looked so tasty.

My favorite section on their site, though, is the one that says "French Maid. Serves 25-30."

Busy gal.

Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 5:46 AM GMT

Name: Lux
Home Page:

The Cheeky Boy appears to be decapitated. Poor guy.

Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 10:35 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Whatever happened to cakes that said Happy Birthday Wayne and Debbie, with little roses everywhere? It's a travesty. (And their croissants are still overdone for my tastes.)

Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 10:36 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

I just couldn't work out who the target market for the over 50's BDSM themed cake was. Surely if you're that butch, you don't eat cakey?
And what on earth do the old ladies who like their french fancies think when they see this stuff? Yikes!

Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 11:15 AM GMT

Name: Cyn
Home Page:

I'm blushing.
No seriously, I did not see that one coming.
I had to stifle my hysterics as to not wake the family ( it's 4 am. or so--this is how I spend my time in the wee hours of the morning--perusing pics of porn cakes.)

Mmmmm, cake!

Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 11:39 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

It's midday Sunday here, and that makes looking at that cake a sin, i'll have you know...

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 6:32 AM BST

Name: Lux

My cousins and I used to argue over the roses. But the birthday girl always got first dibs. I wonder if the same applies to the porno cakes.

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 7:46 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

And whether they still use those little silver balls... (oh dear, I've been thinking in double entendres for three days now)

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 9:10 AM BST

Name: NC

They're all at my cake class - only in demand by non-white foreign ladies or elderly white english ladies. I have a paddington bear to offer up for consumption:-)

PS Can I still make comments please:-)

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 9:14 AM BST

Name: NC

Oops, that was in reply to Happy Birthday Wayne and Debby, my cake ladies would never dream of balls silver or otherwise.

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 11:10 AM BST

Name: Vanessa

You're positively welcome to make comments, NC. :D

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 11:55 AM BST

Name: NC

Would old ladies prefer this?

PS Sorry for the blog use for promotion:)

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 4:37 PM BST

Name: Martin Sewell
Home Page:

Sorry, I assumed that you were saving it for later! ;-)

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 5:41 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Well, it contains pink fondant, at least! Did you make that?

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 5:43 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Be afraid. Very afraid.

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 7:22 PM BST

Name: NC

Yes. With my cake ladies in my cake class. Once upon a time there was a man (possibly gay, sorry for the stereotype but his cake was Judy Garland in the Wizard of Oz) in one of the other classes.

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 8:09 PM BST

Name: Vanessa

Oh, I think that particular assumption is a fairly safe one, don't you?

Monday, 5 April 2004 - 11:30 PM BST

Name: Martin Sewell
Home Page:

I only lost one cat; briefly.

Monday, 12 April 2004 - 12:49 PM BST

Name: Saltation
Home Page:

Speaking of double entendres, that cake has a huge cake doesn't it.

Man, that purple star thing REALLY has to HURT

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