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Monday, 22 March 2004

Nasal


Now Playing: Broken Social Scene - Pacific Scene
Topic: Empty Fridge Light

I think I have a phantom pregnancy.
Not only do I have a belly the size of Wales, but I can smell *everything*, you know, the way hounds do. Yeah, yeah, laugh on your own time.
I can't stop smelling the reek of old fat from greasy spoon cafe's on my coats, and I nearly went into olfactory raptures on the train yesterday, when some uppity snooty cow got on and hogged all the seats while wearing my first girlfriend's favourite perfume.
Virgin birth, anyone?

Smells no-one should like, but I do:

Warm flagstones in the sun
Petrol
Parmesan
Metal zips
The nape of someone's neck
Plastic wrappers
New books when you crack the spine open
Broken crackers
Short hair
Other people's washing powder
Dirt under fingernails
Waterproof coats
Teddy bears and cat fur
Lipstick
The space between fingers
Gravy
Cat happyfarts
Tar
Dead skin along the side of your thumb nail
Oats
BO (but only if it smells of onions, not vinegar)
Newsprint - papers and magazines
Soil
The smell orange pith leaves on your hands
Sudden drops in pollution levels
A big pig sty
Lap top cases
Water

This page graced by sarsparilla at 10:15 PM GMT
Updated: Thursday, 8 April 2004 3:59 PM BST
Post Comment | View Comments (26) | Permalink | Share This Post

Monday, 22 March 2004 - 10:37 PM GMT

Name: sarah

no, some of those are good smells. Although, some of them are odd. What about the smell of a brewery? smells nothing like beer, a bit vaguely like smokey bacon crisps.. absolutely gorgeous. No-one i have ever met likes that smell.

Monday, 22 March 2004 - 10:57 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

I do know what you mean, but no, I don't like the smell!

Monday, 22 March 2004 - 11:00 PM GMT

Name: Sarah (Another)
Home Page: http://www.kitchensunk.co.uk

Ooh, I love the smell of new books, rubber (plastic's nicer, though), gravy, tar. Add to that: The satisfying smell of my own farts, nicotene on my fingers, marmite, bonfires, damp grass, freshly sawn wood, new stationery (especially A4 plastic sleeves), uPVC cleaner, gunpowder, Tixylix (kids' cough medicine) and wet cement mix. Mmm...

Monday, 22 March 2004 - 11:13 PM GMT

Name: lemonpillows
Home Page: http://www.lemonpillows.com

Add to that: hairy dogs, cd-inlay booklets, and certain bodily smells.

I have so many different smells in different places.. Some of them I love - and obviously some I don't..
(Details available on request**)

**terms and conditions apply :D

Monday, 22 March 2004 - 11:56 PM GMT

Name: cacoa

i sometimes have phantom smells..and very strong memories associated with those smells..the strongest is a rat dissection at school

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 6:19 AM GMT

Name: Lux
Home Page: http://www.shylux.blogspot.com

...but parmesan smells like feet!

New books... yummy. CD inlay booklets is a good one too.

I like the smell of babies' heads. Preferably when attached to a body.

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 7:47 AM GMT

Name: Legomen
Home Page: http://legomenis.blogspot.com/

Right then. You're in trouble. I've just tried to smell in between my fingers and everyone in the office thinks I've just given the boss a V-sign behind her back.

Congratulations on the immaculate conception BTW... ;-)

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 10:58 AM GMT

Name: csf
Home Page: http://cgm?

its as though you have accurately deconstructed my scent.
i think you'll agree that altogether it makes for a fairly exciting stench fragrance.

are you allowed to sell virgin births on ebay?

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 11:38 AM GMT

Name:

The space between fingers????

I'm just off to check the Sydenham water supply... think something must have leaked into it

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 12:54 PM GMT

Name: billy
Home Page: http://billyworld.typepad.com/

...if it's a boy will you call it brian :^)...

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 2:33 PM GMT

Name: Alana
Home Page: http://www.noboys.org

Burning. I like the smell of burning for some reason, maybe it's the tomboy in me screaming to go through a male adolescent pyromania phase. I PREFER organic, but burning is burning in the end.

...and window cleaner.

I have such a sharp nose I can generally single out a woman who's having her period (within a crowd). Detect if someone's eaten fish within the past few days (in their homes). And if someone has used my super expensive shower gel without permission.

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 3:26 PM GMT

Name: Nursie
Home Page: http://muddyblog.typepad.com

Wait..you like the smell of perfumed cows? ...no, that can't be right... Don't mind me...I'm just tired.

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 4:16 PM GMT

Name: Kat
Home Page: http://www.mostlyfluff.blogspot.com

A pig sty?? I lived down the road from a pig farm at one time. One day the wind shifted and carried that rotting meat smell to our house. It was so awful and there was no escaping it. Ish!!

Several of those are good smells, though. Crushed crackers for one. New books? Yep. Actually, I love the smell of a bookstore or library. Before they all had coffee shops in them, that is.

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 7:23 PM GMT

Name: Niki
Home Page: http://www.upsaid.com/missuhgolightly

Skunk. Don't know why, but it doesn't bother me in small doses.

Sometimes I think I'm having a phantom pregnancy when I crave dill pickles smothered in cream cheese, though.

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 7:32 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Oh god, yes, yes, yes, check to all of those. You're so right. Candles, too - but not matches.

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 7:36 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Being a Landahner, one day per decade at some twee country petting farm with pinkly scrubbed sows and piglets munching on luxe pig feed is as close as I get to nature.

I love the coffee shop bookstores - partly because they're still a new thing over here - bookshops used to be starchy places where you read what they thought you should be allowed to buy, there was little choice or ordering, and some snooty woman in horn rimmed glasses didn't like you picking them up to read the blurb.
In contrast, I can spend hours in a bookstore now, which usually has me leaving #50 the lighter, so it works for them, and I particularly love leaving big coffee stains on one book - I figure as they're all chains, they can well afford it, and someone somewhere down the line is now going to get that book on a dirty great discount. :D

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 7:37 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

I've never ever either seen or smelt a skunk. Not even a photograph of a skunk.

I wonder if it smells like the International Cheese Store?

Tuesday, 23 March 2004 - 11:00 PM GMT

Name: Joe
Home Page: http://www.louisvilleloser.blogspot.com

I like the smell of orange pith too.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 2:09 AM GMT

Name: lemonpillows
Home Page: http://www.lemonpillows.com

I am sooooo glad I'm not the only one who can smell a period.. I thought I was going mad.. Can you also detect if someone is ill? Has a tummy bug? Now *that's* wierd, but I can smell it.. How odd..

My favourite ever smell has got to be sponge though. Not the cheap 9p ones from the supermarket, but a little more expensive, like 2-5pound ones. I can sit there for hours and hours just smelling the sponge. Maybe it's a comfort thing. Don't know how it started though..

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 3:46 AM GMT

Name: e
Home Page: http://www.purplepen.net

Hmmm... Skunk smell. If you've ever had mice in your house, try to remember the smell now.

Got it?
Ok, multiply it in intensity by a factor of a thousand, and throw in some unwashed armpit and dog, and that stinky kind of mushroom that smells a little like propane, and you're getting close. The type of scent they produce can be smelled over a mile away in town (they tend to live under people's houses here). I think it's fairly safe to assume that if one owned a 100 acre wood, one would certainly know about Pepe LePew moving in.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 5:46 AM GMT

Name: Lux
Home Page: http://www.shylux.blogspot.com

...and then soak a dirty sock in the smell described above, and put it over your head.

I've smelled many, many more skunks than I've actually *seen*. Sometimes it's so bad that even if you breathe through your mouth, you can *taste* it. Possibly the most feared animal in the northeast U.S.

I've never been sprayed, [knock on wood], but I've smelt dogs who've been sprayed, and the stench lingers for weeks. It's chemical warfare in the wild.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 7:47 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Ugh. I did have mice, once, when I lived in Leicester Square, but I had an embarrassing tendency to stand on things screming like one of the females in Tom and Jerry, so I never noticed a smell.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 4:40 PM GMT

Name: Jez
Home Page: http://jezblog.34sp.com

Cat happyfarts? What?

Irritable Bowel Syndrome sometimes has the effect of swelling bellies to pregnant-esque proportions. That might be it.

Wednesday, 24 March 2004 - 8:28 PM GMT

Name: Vanessa

When my cats are supremely relaxed and happy, they do silent but deadlies, I'm afraid. It means you can never win.

Nah, my belly gets jellified if I'm lacking sleep - always. I get an early night, and the thing disappears as if someone popped a blister.
It was the corresponding sensitivity to smells that reminded me of virgin births.
I think if I had a bowel syndrome, it would be from too much fibre, really. Highly Regular Bowel Syndrome?

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 12:11 AM GMT

Name: chrysalis

Pickles smothered in cream cheese and then rolled in a slice of ham.......Heavenly!

More smells that should not be liked (but that I love)......Marsh gas, paper mill, burnt cheese, morning after beer breath on bedmate, jar of old pennies, horse manure and hay, tidal rot.....too many more to list. ;)

Thursday, 25 March 2004 - 1:14 AM GMT

Name: Vanessa

Apart from the beer breath; mmm, mmmm, and mmmmm. Dammit, it's gone one in the morning here, and that sandwich sounds delicious.

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