Tired
January 17/04
I feel so tired. Tired of all the bills,
tired of life in general and its knocks.
The writing suffers every time there
is stress of any kind.
Life brings problems and stress, but
there seems to be an unusual over-
sized portion coming my way.
I now have seven furnace bills. Why does
it take seven visits to get the furnace
going?

BANG
January 9/04
This year started with a bang. Last Sunday, I was doing my usual Sunday stuff. I took
my pills, ate a serving of cream of wheat with flax sprinkled on top, orange juice, coffee.
Then, I made my bed, read my big print Bible. I was reading Ezekiel when I heard this
BANG. Then the furnace cut in. It must be an engine, back-firing, I am thinking.

I moved downstaris to the computer just in time for the furnace to make a loud
whoosh-bang sound. With shaky hands, I dialed the gas inspector. At this point, I?m
thinking gas leak. An hour later, he showed up. He concluded there was no gas leak,
however the burners needed cleaning. There are 3 burners, only 2 of which were lighting
up. After the 2 were lit, they lit the nonfunctioning burner, causing the bang.

So I phoned for cleaning Furnace guy came and cleaned the burners. Furnace now runs
smoothly as a purring cat.

Reflections and goals
December 31/03
It?s hard to believe another year is over. It is a time of reflection and goal-setting. What
do I want to accomplish for 2004?
What are the decisions that I need to make? Do I want to be tougher in some areas
and softer in others?
What things do I want?
What do I want to learn?
What tasks do I need to do?
What will my approach to others be like? Less critical? More flexible?
Areas to consider:
Health
Financial
Creative
Learning
Self-improvement
Changes
Spiritual
Relationships

What am I reading?
December 20/03
I?m reading Fatherless Women by Clea Simon. She lost her father in
her thirties, I believe. There is one chapter about death of a father
when one is younger in life. I identify so much with this and all the
fallout as a result is familiar. The feeling of disconnectedness, for
example. I experienced at 12 what she experienced in her thirties.

I?m also reading A Prison Diary, by Jeffrey Archer. He was imprisoned
in a maximum security prison in England. He describes the 22 days
there in detail, including the language, the food, the other inmates and
what goes on.

I had 4 submissions this week, and 2 queries. So I feel satisfied that
things are better, even though I have not written much new stuff.
There is always a market for the reprints.

Headache
November 14/03
I?ve always believed in
writing no matter what.
I?ve always tried to
confront the excuses and
shoot them down. So it?s
difficult for me to
understand why I am giving
in to this weird headache
on the one side of my
head.It has allowed me to
be nonproductive in my
writing.
The headache is like a
fuzzy pain. It?s the same
headache I had when my
blood pressure was too
high. The pills are
supposed to lower bp but
now my bp has soared high
even while on medication.
Books I am reading:
The Complete Guide to
Painting and Decorating
Papermaking by Elizabeth
Couzins-Scott
picasso

Prompts
Prompts
Define your idea of a high-maintenance person. Is there someone in your
life that is high-maintenance? How do you handle that?
What is your definition of success?
Take a look at your walls. What is your favorite wall hanging? Is it a
photo? painting/ ornament? plant?
What produces stress in your life? traffic? co-workers? partner? kids?
parents? too much to do?
How do you de-stress?
What is your favorite color? What items do you have in that color?
Do you give anything to charity? Whom do you give to, and why do you
choose that charity?
Do you talk alot? Were you shushed as a child?

Prompts
Okay, here are some prompts I sent to a journaling site. It was my turn to send in prompts:
1. Write about a "moment". The moment was memorable, giving you an insight, or a rush of truth, the answer to a problem. This may be humorous, or serious, big or tiny.

2. Write the first paragraph of a letter to someone (real or imaginary) who has not seen you since grade school. Describe what your life has been like since last seeing her.

3. Ralph Waldo Emerson said: "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
Can you be yourself in your life? If not, why not? What keeps you from being yourself?

4. Myla Kabat-Zinn said: "Each difficult moment has the potential to open my eyes and open my heart."
How has this principle manifested in your life? What difficult moment has opened your eyes/and/or your heart?

5. Tao Te Ching said: "Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench; Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner."
Write about how important money and security are to you. Write about people's approval. How important is people's approval to you?

6. Write about an anxious time, or what gives you anxiety.

7. Write about a time when you were angry. What provoked the anger? Was the anger justified or seemingly irrational?

8. How do you know when someone is lying to you? What subtle clues give the person away?

If you want to write, and do not know what to write, try using these prompts. See what you come up with.

feeling yukky
October 11/03
I feel yukky today. Depressed, empty. what the heck is this? I just feel like something is being kept from me, like my brain is trying to tell me something.

I didn't write anything new this week, except for a book review on Revolt in the west.

I think my brain is starting a revolt. Sure isn't co-operating. Hey brain, co-operate!

the sabateur
September 13/03
The sabateur in my head says You can?t write anything anyway. You?re a phony. You
aren?t a writer.
Why does a person sabatoge their abilities, their own potential? I want to know that. Are
these messages from childhood which in parents minds, kept our heads from swelling?
Anyway, the sabateur is busy today. I haven?t written anything new this week.

writing rut
August 17/03
It has been a better week for subs. Sent out an article to a religious pub and also an article to a bird zine. Hope they take the articles. I have been in a writing rut. Maybe will break out of it this way.