The beginning
Some people look back on their youth with some sort of pleasant nostalgia. Some, like me, see it as a life-changing disaster.

At the age of 31 I'm still battling with the scars from that period. For instance, I've never had a proper relationship with a girl. My self belief is too fragile for that to happen.

"For others to love you, you need to love yourself"

I know it is a cliche, but it's true.

Hopefully, sharing my story with you will help me with the healing process. If you're having similar problems today, it would be fantastic if I could help you in any way.

From age 12 I was gradually distanced from the rest of my classmates. By the time I was 14 my life was in ruins.

Every day was a struggle and I used to cry myself to sleep. The thought of suicide was always there. My parents could do little to heal the pain. I love them for trying though.

I dreaded each new day and I hated myself for not being able to get along with the others. I had absolutely no self belief and always expected the worst. It was a horrible, negative way of life.

One of my worst memories from the time was when I "followed" my former friends around in the schoolyard. They ignored me completely and if they ever spoke with me, they had only bad things to say.

I felt like a none-person, and felt I was of no value. Self-loathing was the dominant state.

I had one good friend though. Although we never discussed my problems it was one of the things that helped me through it.