-Erica: What are we eating at the Con?
Me: *Shruggle*
Erica: So that means you don't know?
Me: Well I was planning on harvesting your limbs and organs *shrug*
Erica: o.o
-Me: MASTURBATION
Taylor: That was the funniest thing I've ever alt-tab'd to
-Me: For some reason, when I see/hear the word baritone, it makes me think it would be lower than bass
Erica: *shrugs* It's not.
Me: Thanks.
Erica: No problem
Erica: Always here to help.
Me: [/sarcasm]
Erica: Thanks for closing that tag for me.
Erica: >.>
Erica: <.<
Me: That was my tag closing
Me: Not yours
Me: You can close your own damn tags
Erica: Aww....
Me: Biatch!
-Taylor: I'm going to go kill virtual people instead of my roommate...
Me: Where's the fun in that?
Taylor: Not having to take a shower in prison?
-Brian: And now that we're done with that mess, I
Me: ...
Me: yes?
Brian: can hit enter preemptively as much as I want
-(Online)Alex: Don't be a douche and go to bed now.
Nick: I want to be a douche. Think of all the pussy.
-(Online)
Fred: I want you... to get... ahold of man named... Howell.... it's very important...
Fred: *dies*
Me: o.o
Me: I'll do my best. Farewell, old friend. *Carefully folds his hands over his chest*
Fred: That should have been *closes eyelids so eerily staring eyes aren't focused on breasts*
-(Online)Taylor: They gave me $10 to sit in a room for $6 basically
Me: ...wait what?
Taylor: wow... $6 = 6 hours...
-(Online)
Me: I'm hungry.
Alex: Nice to meet you Hungry, I'm Alex.
Alex: You should hang out with Sammich.
Me: I'd hang out with Sammich if he was here.
Alex: Sammich is a dude!?
Alex: I thought... Sammich was a chick.... But now that you mention it, that's why Sammich always wants it doggy style and in the ass.
-(Online)
Zak: But it also depends on the mood you want to portray.
Zak: Whites = innocent...
Zak: Black is sexy....
Zak: Red is more kinky/buttfuck me.
*copypaste to Jeff*
Jeff: Those crazy buttfuck me red dresses.
Jeff: Sounds like a new color for crayola. First there's "tickle-me-pink" then "buttfuck-me-red"
-Rippy: Get your mind out of the gutter!
Bryan: Maybe you should get your gutter out of my mind! Wait...
-(Online)Taylor: Get the eff on!
Me: Right after I get the eff off.
Me: I mean...
Taylor: Sounds like a plan.
-Shawn L.: Liz is trying to send a link, but it keeps crashing Trillian.
Me: That's because Trillian is for lamers.
Shawn L.: Nope. AIM is for losers.
Me: I dunno, AIM's pretty good at sucking my cock.
Shawn L.: Now there's an interesting image...
Me: :D
-(Online)
Elizabeth: NOWNOWNOW
Jeff: Huh? What's now?
Elizabeth: I MUST CALL.
Elizabeth: TO RAPE CHILDREN.
Jeff: Liz, you cannot believe how turned on I am by you saying that.
-Me: What should I eat?
Alex: Honey Barbecue Wings.
Alex: It's what I've got in the oven.
Alex: Also a bun. I have a bun in the oven. I'm preggers. You're the mommy.
-Me: I need to listen to more Led Zeppelin.
Jeff C.: Yeah, you do.
Jeff: It's really a rite of passage for every teenage boy.
Me: I guess today is my day to step into manhood.
Jeff C.: Yeah, soon your voice will get deeper, hair will be growing in places that didn't have hair before, and you'll develop an unquenchable blood/cooter lust.
-Me: What are you doing?
Jeff C.: What aren't I doing?
Greg: Women.
-Zak: My girlfriend's cell phone would never stop vibrating.
Molly: Are you sure it was a cell phone?
-Molly: Are you saying there's a party in your pants and I'm invited?
Zak: Actually...the party in my pants is over now.
Shawn P.: Just before you came?
Molly: Just after he came.
-(Online)
Brian: Well fuck me sideways with a bass amp and two Jews.
Me: ...
Brian: ...Jew basstard?
-Me: who should I cosplay as next?
Alex: Good Q.
Alex: I suggest Jupiter from Sailor Moon.
Alex: And then you can have sex with Nick and I can live vicariously through him because I've always wanted to have sex with a sailor scout.
Alex: Nick has sex, you cosplay, and I get to live vicariously through my best friend. Everyone is a winner.
-Me: there was a Sofitel hotel in Italy, and it made me think of you.
Fred: What, because I'm a big softie???
Me: Because that's the one you stayed in at ACen and could never remember the name of.
Fred: Well it just wasn't attractive enough to remember the name of, unlike you, Margret.
-Jeff: Would you like to buy me food?
Jeff: Perhaps I can just nibble on your buns.
Brian: You don;t have to buy anything. Tomorrow is my birthday and I figured I'd like to have some people out to dinner with me.
Jeff: Oh, well then I can just watch you eat as I creepily sing happy birthday in a low, hushed, atonal voice.
Brian: You would do that for me?
Jeff: Hey, that's what I'm here for.
-Me: Elizabeth said you have a small stick.
Fred: That's a small DICK, you shmuck.
-(Online)
Jeff: Dear Lord! Why are you not updating your quotes site?! Your creation, Jeff
Me: ...
Jeff: No, I don't know why every time I inquire as to why there isn't more stuff on the quotes site I phrase it in the form of a letter.