-(while eating at Steak 'N' Shake, Elizabeth orders a malt and doesn't get a cherry on top)
Elizabeth: Laura, can I have your cherry?
Me: You can have my cherry.
-(while we are all laying around in other Jeff's house, watching tv)
Jeff A.: So what are we doing?
Me: Having sex.
Jeff A.: Sex is boring.
-(while at Elizabeth and Molly's combined birthday party)
Me: So how are you guys going to blow out the candles?
Molly: I'm guessing like this. *she pretends to be blowing out candles*
Kerry:Don't forget an extra blow for Jeff!
-(while in a class meeting at school)
Some Teacher/Principal: We need you guys to turn in ideas for themes for the days during Homecoming week.
Elizabeth: Phallic Symbol Day!
-(while talking to people online)
Random People: So, who are you?
Me: I live in your basement.
Elizabeth: I AM your basement.
-Jeff C.:But Piccolo doesn't even have a penis! He's asexual!
Erica: Maybe he doesn't need a penis. Maybe he is that good.
-the_babette: you dont have very nice friends
the_babette:lol
Jeff: oh well
the_babette:asl??
Jeff: no, i take german class
the_babette: wah??!!
the_babette: asl means age sex location
Jeff: when i was twelve in a volvo station wagon
the_babette: right...
Jeff: no im left handed
-Me: What's a Deygo?
Elizabeth's Mom: It's an Italian ethnic slur.
Me: Ahahhahahahah...oh wait, I'm Italian....
-Elizabeth: Where's the Nazi librarian?
Me: I don't know.
Elizabeth: Probably getting the pole removed.
*The librarian walks by*
Elizabeth: Nope, I guess not.
-Jeff C.: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Jeff C.: Guess.
Me: Guess who?
Jeff C.: That's a good game.
-Me: Are you into any comic books?
Jeff C.: I used to be into X-Men, but I kind of fell out of that.
Me: Well, they do have some X-Men comics.
Jeff C.: No, I already said I kind of fell out of that. That's like a crack addict saying, "I used to be into crack, but I fell out of it." "Want some crack?"
-Me: You know, Molly, if you want to practice you could go into a practice room...
Molly: Nah, I can just go home and bang stuff...and by bang stuff I mean bang on stuff...gaahh...there's nowhere to go but down from here...GAAHH!!
-Me: I hate Jack! There's like 50 of them! Jack, Gun Jack, Jack 2...
Me and Elizabeth: Jack Off *giggle*
-Me: I cost 68 cents! (after getting a pricetag put on her at Westfield's Comics)
Erica: I think I've got some change in my purse.
-Sean: just the idea of Jeff being good with meat, and then getting people's potatoes moist.....
Jeff: I'll get more than your potatoes moist
-Dr. Horstmeyer: What kind of organism would have lots of appendages?
Reed: A snake!
-Elizabeth: I've been thinking about getting a tattoo, but I don't know where I'd put it or what I'd get it of.
Keith: On your ass.
Elizabeth: But then nobody would see it...
Sean: You'll just have to start wearing assless chaps then.
-Keith: So you like tight keyboards?
Elizabeth: No, I like 'em loose.
-(playing Eternal Darkness)
Shawn: What a dick.
Molly: So dicks swing around and kill you?
-Erica: What happens when the derivative is infinity?
Elizabeth: You have to make out with me.
-Me: Look, it's the bear knob!
Elizabeth: The bear knob!
Shawn: Fuck the bear knob!
-(talking online)
Jeff: dancing mad is like one big music piece with four movements or whatever
Me: like you would know (because Jeff doesn't do anything with music except listen to it)
Jeff: i wouldnt, that was a guy
Jeff: ...
Jeff: a guess
Jeff: that was an odd typo
-Jeff: I really need to find out why my fridge smells.
Me: Moldy cheese, expired milk?
Jeff: Perhaps both. I just bought the milk, though. But I did drink straight from the jug and left it on a heater for two hours.
-(talking online)
Me: eheheehhe the kitties are sleeping and they look so cute!
Elizabeth: hehehe. I need to see your ktities and you need to see my surprise.
Me: whoa
Elizabeth: Oh, that looks dirty >.<
-(talking online)
Me: ELIZABETHSKITTIESARESOADORABLE!
Fred: HAHAHA!!!!! so I heard
Me: wow
Me: I read that as 'so I hard'
Me: XD
Me: Fred likes the furries*
Fred: I love katties, and can't come...*
*These two sentences were said at the same time.