It happend,
She died.
Beloved mother and friend.
I only knew her for two years,
but that was enough for her to become family.
I don't feel.
I can't.
I can't do anything right now.
This wasn't supposed to happen.
The worst thing is I knew.
Why did I have to know?
SHE'S DEAD
GONE
I will never see her smile again,
or hear her laugh.
I can't stop crying.
People want to cheer me up,
but it's immpossible.
How can people go on.
I know people die,
but it's like no one cares.
I wake up and all I feel is hollow.
I can't breath.
I feel like I'm being crushed.
How is it possible?
How is it that she's dead?
But if I feel like this,
it has to be a million times worse for him.
It was his mother.
How can he not just lay down and die.
I wish I could comfort him.
To tell him it will be alright.
But how can I say something I don't believe?
Sunday was when it happend,
but I feel like it was months ago.
Time moves so slowly.
And my heart just want to stop.
The last words I ever heard from her were
"Happy late birthday"
that was tuesday, and she was so happy.
But was she happy her last momments?
I don't know how I'm going to go on.
How I can still live.
How I can not die on the spot.
I knew for a reason.
But the reason I don't know.
This shouldn't have happend.
She was doing better.
But she's gone.
Forever.
She was loved.
And still is.
I can't say I'll miss her.
Because to me,
She never left.
It's too unreal.
It's not me living anymore.
Not me writing this either.
I think my friends can tell.
I try to pretend to be happy.
But I can't.
Maybe one day I'll be back.
But my heart is still with her.
She won't leave my life.
But she left hers.
I don't know anything anymore.
I can't do it.
This life.
Right now it's gone.
But it might come back.
I don't know.
I just don't know.
I don't feel right saying goodbye to her.
So I'll say hello.
Hello to her new life,
her new happieness.
I know she is still here,
until we all find closure,
she'll be with us.
So to our loving friend I say,
Hello.