Thursday February 12th 2004
oh sweet joy, my life is one big ball of mess today. It's such a mess, that its almost gaining 'messier than stef's messy bedroom' status.
Thats hard to do.
Yesterday, i took a stand and decided i wouldn't go back to KFC, which i think was probably a stupid thing to do, because now i have to go and work in a factory for a work agency somewhere in wales.
Being picked up at 6am every morning, and driven to work. It reminds me of those films you see on the history channel, when all the people were sent off to concentration camps.
I don't know whether i'll be able to last there long, but hey.. i have to start before i can quit!.

After a long time contemplating, i finally decided that it would be best for me to work in france afterall. 7 months in france is quite a daunting thought right now. But i need a break from everything and everyone that surrounds me in england, and it might do me good to escape.

Last night i started obsessing over creating a gigantic collage, and its now taking over my life :\

February 6th 2004
Coldplay are amazingly amazing!, as ryan adams once said 'fuck coldplay for being so damn good'. i think those feelings are universal.
So you've just read this, and are now wondering why the hell i'moverflowing with love for colplay. Well i guess that just happened to spawn
from the documentary i watched on them a few nights ago.Just Chris and a camera, explaining the history and thoughts of the band.very inspiring and very funny. that guy makes me laugh!

so today i'm off to liverpool, to give out more cvs, in search of a job that could possibly better my current job, serving chicken to the masses of kfc eaters. I think i stand a good chance of finding jobs, but the chance of me being given these
jobs is as slim as a cucumber.The job hiring community rarely speak the words 'yes you can have the job' in my direction,and well, thats probably because i'm crap at interviews, and don't ooze self confidence and a shiney happy image.

I like to dress up though. its one of my weaknesses in life. Dressing up.one of the reasons i like to get out of the house, because i can walk around with a different identity every day. today, i'm feeling rather flowery and old fashioned, so i'll probably give my look a retro feel.
i think this weird obsession comes from the fact i'm shy. don't ask me to explain why. but i think
that may have something to do with it.

February 3rd 2004
So today i bought the latest edition of NME magazine, which is every british indie music lovers bible, and well , after talking to indie lovers in Canada, i realised its gained a godly status over there too. Courtney love on the cover though? they're basically trying to bump up this weeks sales to minors that get all giddy when they see a flash of a long bare leg. I'm sure that body is fake, but she's a character, and an interesting one at that. I'd rather have her up there representing females in rock, than, well , someone pretentious. pj harvey is a bit like that. i prefer the excentricity of Love.

My new obsession is the idea that i could somehow form a band, but i'm restricted to the world of paino/keyboard playing. Even so, my circle of aquaintences don't want to form a band, even after many hours of attmpted persuasion, only my brother crumbles, slightly , when i give him the 'we could make beautiful music and it would be so fantastic' talk, but only on occasions when he's had a few to drink. He's a chorale singer, but with a bit of work, i'm sure he could work the wonder of indie rock.

This week, i have to say that i'm in the same leaugue as every personality in britain, in thinking that 'Keane' are great. I did actually hear them way back before they were being played on every radio show in the uk, but hey, i'm glad they're getting the success!. i'm going to see them on the 17th, so i'll see whether they can pull off a live performance. until the next time- XX