



Things That Fucking Suck!




This is where I like to vent, I'm really not as hostile as I'm told I sometimes sound.
- Calculus. I fucking hate Calculus.
- the Pittsburgh fucking Penguins. as much as i respect Lemiuex he needs to fucking retire (for real this time) so for once in my lifetime I can see the Caps get somewhere in the playoffs.
- Stubborn illogical religious conservatives. As much as I hate to use the word hate, I fucking hate it when people think they have the right (and even worse the responsiblity!) to mandate what I should believe, what chemicals I shouldn't put into my body, and what women can't do with their bodies. I fucking hate it. And the thought that there are enough of these people in this country to vote into office a leader who thinks the same way really diminishes my American pride.
- Hate. (you may or may not have noticed the title change)
- When a $1.00 washing machine won't start until you put in a fifth quarter. This one got me twice today. Now I'm short two quarters to dry the clothes when they come out. This could mean apocolypse. I'll be sure to keep you updated on this breaking story.
- When the gum in the vending machine, which I don't want in the first place, and am only purchasing so that I may get 2 quarters change for the dryer, is labeled 50 cents, but only gives me 30 cents change out of a dollar. That bastard machine got me twice today too. Oh well, at least my clothes are drying.
- When a 99 cent Whopper Junior without cheese ends up costing me $1.07. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't sales tax in Va 4.5%? Normally this little bit of change wouldn't bother me, but between the washing machine, the vending machine, and Burger King, I think I'm being swindled.
- When they charge you extra for cheese on your burger. I always thought cheese was a standard feature, or should be anyway.
- When I lose my fucking room keys and have to sit around all day waiting for my former roommate to turn up so I can get in. Oh well, at least it's a good excuse to miss class.
- Redskins kickers. They all suck my balls.
- DMX and people who think he has any artistic talent.
- Car doors that close automatically. Old people cars like Cadillacs are always like that
- When person's put unnecessary apostrophe's in their sentence's
- How Puff Daddy gets credit for that song "Satisfy You" even though the Luniz are the true genius behind its creation. Bitch...
- When you come back a half an hour later to find that the refrigerator door didn't close by itself
- AOL
- People like Fionna Apple who are all fucked up and think it's cool
- Goddamned AOL
- That kid with the glasses at the very end of the Nickelodeon commercial they've been playing on Fox lately
- My dad's incessant bitching
- Waiting 20 fucking minutes in the Sandburg parking lot for my goddam sister to get her late ass in the car because she's too good for the fucking late-buses
- people who lack common sense
- North Carolinians
- cops
- When people sit in their cars for 20 minutes at Safeway, with their headlights shining right in my face.
- Those Salvation Army people who incessantly wring those damn bells
- David Arquette, he's such an obnoxious ass
- Mariah Carey, she plays both races, and I hate how she's getting credit for that recycled Snoop song
- When musicians sample old songs and everyone thinks they're great. Vanilla Ice didn't even credit Bowie and Queen for Ice Ice Baby. Punk.
- How everyone hates Limp Bizkit because they got popular. So what, they still fuckin rock.
- Fred Durst's lyrics as of late. Absolute dribble. I'm embarrased to be a fan.
- Those goddam queer-ass bitch twins in the Old Navy commercials. You know, the blonde guys who look like gay lovers.
- Old Navy commercials
- Fucking Cox Cable for dropping FOX, which is the best station on TV. I can't live without my daily dose of the Simpsons.
- Working when it's fucking freezing cold outside.
- Nazi Buy (or Best Buy as most of you know it)
- Amanda and Alex because they wouldn't buy me a Milky Way at Safeway
- Nasty-mouthed bitches who change their license plates every 6 months and come to parties where they are not wanted and go further to act like a bitch when nobody wanted them there in the first place. Dirty slore.
- Mustangs and people who drive them. They are all either assholes or idiots, or somewhere in the middle, and for some reason, seem to think they are driving something other than an ugly piece of American shit. You can be obnoxious when you get a real sports car. After a request and much following deliberation, I have determined that the "Almighty Crazy Jason and His Fleet of Fords" (in the man's own words) is an exception. I mean after all, "Who else do u know that would be doing fishtails in a 66 mustang?" You know? You know.
- Stupid stabbin O.J. Needs to get his ass back to NC...
- Tina Turner and her stupid fat, bouncy hair.
- Stupid female advice people like Ann Landers and Laura Schleschinger. They all think they are so high and mighty and I think they're full of shit. Get this: Today in Ann Landers I read a letter complaining about how people say "Have a nice day" when they have no idea what kind of a day the person is having. This person was all offended because she had been to a funeral the day before and was sad, and the bank teller who had no idea said "Have a nice day," and she thought it was inappropriate. Ann Landers agreed and suggested that if people would say "Have a good one" instead of "Have a nice day" the world would be a much better place. Now what the fuck is that?! I'd like to slap that woman with my penis. Twice.
- That fucking salesman Shaban at the Jeep dealership.
- When you have the shower on really hard and you turn around and it hits you right in the balls.
- Using the bathroom after you've been outside for hours and your hands are freezing cold.
- How it takes 3 and a half fucking hours to get to the Baltimore Arena when you're tryin to catch a show, but only 55 minutes to get home when it doesn't matter anymore.
- When you experience random massive slowdown on your computer even though there isn't anything being processed. (I'll never understand these goddam things.)
- Whiny friends of my sister who will never again be invited to attend a concert with us.
- How my dad says goodnight and goes to bed, then wakes up every 25 minutes to bitch about something. I think he's said goodnight to me 5 fucking times tonight. And I guarantee that in no more than 3 minutes, he will be bitching at me to go to sleep.
- Truckers. They never go the speed limit. They either blaze past you going 100 fucking miles per hour, scaring the shit out of you, or they go 40 mph side-by-side so you can't get by. I don't understand it. Maybe if you didn't go so damn slow, you wouldn't have to play catch-up later.
- How everyone in my Accounting class is obsessed with Napster. Everyone's always either bitching about it, asking questions, or playing their shitty music, which is made even shittier by the fact that I'm hearing 5 shitty songs at the same time.
- Being in the same room as George and anyone of the female gender.
- Being in the same room as George and any drink of alcoholic nature.
- Being in the same room as George, girls, and beer. Excruciating I tell you.
- Paying for an entire case of Miller High Life with the LAST bit of any money I'll have for at least two weeks, so some bitch I don't even know can drink it while I'm not present.
- When people show up at my house for a party I intentionally didn't tell them about. ESPECIALLY when none of my beer is at the party, because they drank it all the night before (without permission or thought of paying me back) while I wasn't even fucking there. Goddammit that makes me mad.
Things That Don't Suck
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