Reasons Why You're Cool And I Suck

I'm a lazy piece of shit and you're not
I have a functioning website and you don't have a clue how to even begin
You're strong and I have chicken arms
You play sports and I play video games
I played Magic: The Gathering and you never did
You're gonna make it through college while I drop out and start my career at Wal-Mart
You have money and I don't.