-anorexia
-words.of.experience
-overview
-who.it.strikes
-why.it.happens
-why.it.goes.untreated
-receiving.treatment

anorexia: why we can't "just eat"

Once a rare and almost taboo problem, anorexia and anorexic behaviors run rampant. This problem doesn't just affect the culture and society of North America anymore, either. A recent study of girls in Thailand showed raising percentages of people with anorexia since the increasing usage of television. I am still shocked when I speak to people and almost every single one claims to have "once been anorexic" when the disorder comes up. It seems that by year 2005 just about everyone on the planet will be able to say that they too once "had" an eating disorder at some point in their lives. What is even scarier is the fact that anorexia is the leading cause of death among people seeking psychiatric help. The longer we lead lives of which it is becoming acceptable for children to diet at age 9, or for someone to starve for a "few days" to lose some quick weight for a date, the harder it will to fight the statistics...

overview

Do you see yourself or someone you love in the paragraphs above? It's an all too common story of how anorexia starts and can progress into a lifelong battle if not treated. Unfortunately, a lot of therapists and "outsiders" are still unaware of what just goes on with an eating disorder such as anorexia. Let me first say that an eating disorder is not about trying to merely get attention or to "not look like a woman". It is, however, about control, perfection, and how unworthy the person feels deep inside.

who.it.strikes

The typical person that is vulnerable to developing anorexia is perfectionistic and a people pleaser. They must have things just so and are often the mediators of the family. When problems come along, they often try hard to believe they don't exist or they try hard to get the problem to go away as soon as possible. Often they care very much about what other people think of them, whether that be their parents or their friends or even boys. Caring so much about pleasing others and wanting to be liked usually ends up being the gateway to someone vulnerable developing anorexia.

why.it.happens

Society has models grace the covers of "Seventeen" and just about every TV show out there, so the impression is made that to be liked and respected, you should be thin or have "the perfect body." Society puts control and money and thinness on the same pedestal, as well. To be thin is to be in control and to be worthy of attention. The person susceptible to developing anorexia sees all of this very clearly and begins to dislike themselves. Because people with anorexia are generally what is known as all or nothing people, it is hard for them to do anything in between or mediocre. This is why the dislike towards themselves and the dieting doesn't stop and continues on to severe extremes.

Besides society, there are obviously other factors that can trigger someone susceptible to developing anorexia. Family is definitely one. For the majority, notice I did not say ALL but for the majority, the family is not the most stable. Often emotions and problems are kept under cover and are not dealt with in the family of someone with anorexia. The caretakers of the person with anorexia may be perfectionistic themselves. The person may have grown up believing that nothing they do is good enough and that to be worthy of love they must get all A's and nothing less.

The starvation may also be a form of control, as well. To be abused or live in a chaotic environment is to not be in control of yourself or the situation for a period of time, so the person with anorexia takes everything in life and measures it by one thing - their bodies. To be in control of this one object, this thing called a body, ensures that things will be "ok" if they can just lose more weight and so on.

Many times someone with anorexia has had their personal boundaries invaded, meaning that someone hurt them physically or sexually at some point in their lives. The abuse may not have come from someone in the family, but it nonetheless triggers feelings of unworthiness causing the person to starve themselves out of self-hatred.

Regardless of how it started, the person fighting the demon anorexia feels unworthy of food and life inside. Although this illness sounds as if it were a problem of appetite and food and weight, it isn't. It is an illness of self-respect, of how one rates oneself in relation to others, and someone with anorexia honestly believes that they are horrible failures that do not deserve anything but pain. They feel like constant failures that can never do anything right. Deep down every person with anorexia feels and is convinced that they are inadequate, low, mediocre, inferior, and despised by others. All their efforts, their striving for perfection and excessive thinness, are directed toward hiding the flaw of being unworthy/unperfect.

Although someone with anorexia often just says their problems are because they are "fat," realize that "fat" means the same thing as "not good enough," and that is why someone fighting this monster fears "fat." They fear that they are not good enough as they think they should be.

why.it.goes.untreated

People with anorexia often are reluctant to let go of the "security" of their existence. They feel they have found, in their extreme thinness and rituals, the perfect solution to all their problems. For this reason it often takes years for someone fighting anorexia to WANT help and to WANT to change. It is, however, possible to stop and end this distorted thinking and to be able to live a full life without being distracted by calories, and weights, and comparing yourself to the person standing next to you in line. Realize that you or the person with anorexia cannot be forced into getting help. The ability to get better has to come from WANTING to get better. You or the person must want to change their patterns of thinking and living because it is within your/their hearts to do so. Otherwise, being bullied into a therapist's office or hospital will just lead to inevitable relapses.

receiving.treatment

When the willingness to receive help IS there, there are many options for therapy. There are individual therapists, and usually finding a therapist that specializes in treating eating disorders is the most helpful one. Some therapists recommend family therapy for those patients that are under 16 or 18, but individual therapy is always required with family therapy. There is also the option of group therapy. I personally don't think a person should go into group therapy until they are sure that they will not be triggered. Seeing those that weigh less than them or have problems that are worse than theirs will easily throw a person fighting anorexia into competition if they are not well into other therapy first. However, that is just my thought. Group therapy is more of an individual preference, and it should be deliberated whether it will be more helpful or more destructive for the person fighting to go to meetings.

To see a listing of treatment options, go to here: Treatment

"I'll show you why

you're so much more than good enough..."