Wanted: Dead or Alive
" Nick, straighten up," Kevin wheezes in my ear, as he is flashing one of his biggest smiles. I glare at him, annoyed. The boys have scolded me all the way here, saying that I better pull my act together and that I am acting like a dumb ass. Why I have no idea, since I haven't touched one drop of hard liquor and they say that I'm like a drunk. Ok, all people but Brian who says that stress has finally gotten to me. Bone still thinks that I'm mentally disturbed and that it's my parents to be blamed since I have so poor genetic inheritance. AJ isn't one of my mom's admirers if you get my point. But he likes my dad.
My dad is pretty cool, although he doesn't make so much fuss of himself. If there are a pair of parents that I wanna adopt it's Brian's. Listening to B'rok's dad I instantly find out where B got that sense of good humor. He makes us all crack up. Brian's brother is funny too and I like them a lot. His mother is the best. She is like a mother should be, warm, gentle and with that right touch of concern that only a "true" mother could muster. She is no "show mom". Instead she says that whatever Brian does is great and that she trust her son. I have spent some time at the Litterell's house last year when my own parents were out of the country and we were working on some videos. She baked and cooked and I stuffed myself like a pig. I know that she cares for me and that she sees me like her young son because whenever she meets me she says, " How is my boy doing?" That feels great.
" Are you spacing out again?" AJ mutters, snapping his fingers in front of my eyes to get my attention.
" Back off," I hate it when he does that and today it feels even worse since all fast moves sets my head in for a spin. I'm pretty lightheaded, you know in that drunken sort of way that makes you wonder if your standing on your feet or your head half the time.
" Awww testy, testy," AJ smirks as I step out of the van. I have no chance to comment as fans and people are screaming, rushing against us to get a hug or an autograph.
My first thought is to panic and run away from the crowds. The latest incident with the fans is still etched in front of my eyes. But then one blond girl, pretty good looking if I might say so, hugs me and then she starts kissing me on my lips. Ok experienced people know that it takes two parts to kiss, but I swear that she was forcing my lips open with her own lips. And what could a guy do?
I couldn't stand there looking like a freak so I took the opportunity and returned the kiss as best as I could. Isn't that what is called being service minded? This is totally out of my league and I'm a pretty shy person when it comes to issues like this. I would NEVER French kiss in public; heck even privately is pretty off limits. Not that I haven't had my chances over the years, no on the contrary there have been several opportunities. It's just that I wanna wait until I meet the right one. Call me old fashioned, romantic or stupid, I don't care since I believe in true love.
" Nick!!" he yelled and I could tell by his tone of voice that he was pretty annoyed with what I was doing. I however was not! I don't know if it was my light-headedness, but I actually enjoyed the short kiss that she was giving me, until other girls decided that it was their turn and they started hugging me with obsession. This was awkward and I did what I could to get out of the situation. I tried to get away from the "French kisser" and tiptoed to try to see where my band mates were, but no success. Now I was panicking. For real.
" It's my turn!" Another girl yelled, pushing away the blonde like I was some kind of trophy. I bit my lips, wanting nothing more to get away from the screaming girls.
The other girl that still had me in her grip wasn't about to give me up and she fought hard, " NO! Nick is mine!" she said possessive and held me so tight that I started to see stars in front of my eyes.
Hey isn't that another strange expression? Kind of like getting a blue tongue if you lie. How can you actually say that you see stars? Isn't it kind of like flashes or something like that? I've heard that when you die you get to see your life in sequences in front of your eyes, kind of like a film. I bet I know what kind of film Bone will be seeing and I tell you; It's X-rated!
I have never been more grateful for my bodyguard then in the moment I felt a hand on my shoulder and saw the light at the end of the tunnel. He started to show away the fans, yelling to them to get away and finally I could breath. A bit shook up I followed my bodyguard and it felt good to feel his strong arms guiding me through the screaming crowd. As soon as I was back in the building, safe I gave him one big hug. He actually looked a bit embarrassed and the guys laughed at me.
" He saved my life!" I stated, flaring with my arms.
" What happened?" Kevin asked, frowning as he saw the state that I was in.
" The girls attacked him," my bodyguard explained and I nodded.
" I swear that they were going to kill me" I pouted, hoping for sympathy, but all I got was the guys laughing at me.
" Nick, you look like you have been attacked by a beauty shop!" Brian grinned.
Remembering the French kiss I giggled. " I was and she kissed like a God!"
" You got snugged?" AJ asked, suddenly interested in my whereabouts. Bone is strange, I could very well lie there on my deathbed, confessing all my sins, and all he would be interested in would be my sex life! Which is a rather boring topic.
There is one thing that I love and that is to make my good friends jealous and this I was surfing on right now, " She was an real winner. A ten pointer!"
Bone started to laugh even harder, " Kaos, what do you know about such things.? You're even more inexperienced than Howie!"
" I am not inexperienced," Howie stated a bit pissed and we all laughed. Even me, though I'm a bit crossed too. But I will save my attack for later. Getting back at him, I'll be sure of that.
" Yeah right,"
" What do you mean by that? That I don't have a sex life I have..." Howie is pretty upset and I can see how he drags a grinning AJ with him to a more quiet place, to continue with the conversation.
" Nick, look at you!" Kevin says and I feel like and three year old that has rolled myself in mud. He is also pointing at me and that I think is very rude. Hasn't your mother told you that it's bad manners to point at people, I think and get scared at my own thoughts. Now I'm sounding like Howie! I better stop sitting beside him in the van since his neatness might be contagious.
" Huh?" I understand nada what my good friend is telling me.
Brian butts in, explaining the situation for me, " You have red lipstick all over your face and collar." He is clearly amused.
Aww shit! So THAT was why all people were looking at our direction, smiling. I who thought that they were staring at us because we were famous.
" Why didn't you say anything?" Accusation was evident in my voice and after looking like a lost and sad puppy, I actually managed to make Brian look a bit guilty. One point to me!
" Frack, come one. We better clean you up!" No more words are said before Brian grabs me resolutely by my arm and drags me over to something that looks like the restroom. While going there I debate with B that Bone can be such a prick sometimes and he listens patiently while guiding me inside. The room is pretty occupied and once I get inside they all take a good look at me.
One, rather big guy, standing there doing his business, eyes me up and down and I start to feel a bit nervous. Brian has helped me over to the sink since I'm still much too wobbly to do anything on my own. Why I have no idea. But it feels like my head is left at home. If AJ heard this he would say that it's always like that for you, Kaos, so I tell no one about my strange feeling.
" Here," Brian says handing me a wet towel, " wipe that lipstick off."
With a nod I start to remove the red gunk from my face and I'll tell you it ain't easy. Those girls have planted their lip marks all over my face and some have even landed on the collar. I like my girls natural since I like to see how they look behind all that make up. A girl is sweetest when she has natural long hair and nothing on besides some mascara and lip-gloss. Besides lip-gloss don't smear. And it tastes good too.
I can tell by the conversation that these men are having that I am the topic for the evening. Finally the big guy breaks the silence," Hey man, you have either been really lucky or you need to stop fooling around, so your boyfriend, " he points at Brian who gets an black look in his eyes, " doesn't get jealous." He chuckles.
Some people are grinning widely at this comment. If there is one thing I don't like it's when people are making fun of me, it makes me angry. But when people are making fun of my friends it makes me completely mad.
"Well I don't see that 50 girls have attacked you," I say a bit too cocky for my own good.
There is silence in the room and everybody waits for the next move. It reminds me of one of those western movies which Howie makes me watch with him. You know where two people are drawing a colt against each other and the other one waits for the other person to pull the trigger. It's the same pressing tension in the room, the air is still.
Brian stops his grinning immediately and he looks at me like I have gone haywire or something. Usually I'm not the kind of person that returns comments like this, but tonight isn't like all other nights. To night I'm drunk from the cough syrup. Oh, I really need to get a life! That or turn 21 so I can have some serious fun!
The guy won't quit and he looks at me, " And you're saying that you have? " He pauses, " Little boy you probably don't even have pubic hair yet!"
There is lots of laughter and the guy looks satisfied with what he has accomplished. Then he zips up his pants and everything would have been just peachy if I left it at that. This comment has me royally pissed and the fact that I'm not being myself has me uttering the following words, even if Brian is trying hard to get me to shut up.
" Don't," he warns me repeatedly, and I can feel him jerking me on my arm. Too late. My attitude has kicked in having too many siblings to mouth back to during the years. Without thinking I say, " Well judging by that size," I point towards his manhood, " One single pubic hair wouldn't even fit!"
Seeing the panic in Brian's eyes, I suddenly realize that I have crossed the line. " Uh!"
Before I have a chance to react it happens. I see a fist launching out straight towards my cheek and I have no time to duck before it hits its target. The next thing I know. My legs give out under me and I sink down to the floor in a sitting position. The hit isn't what has me going down, it's more likely the surprised that someone actually hit ME!
Brian is instantly by my side, " Niiiicccckkk!" I sit there, still shocked, rubbing my sore cheek that is slowly turning blue. Great now I look like a freakin' painted canvas.
There is silence in the restroom, like everybody is waiting again. Waiting for the next attack. People are watching Brian, waiting to see what he will do in a situation like this. But then they have to wait since Brian is not a person that gets into a fistfight, at least not with some stranger. I am usually not that kind of person either, but today I don't know what is coming over me. It has to be the stress! Or the cough syrup. Whatever it is it has me feeling and acting all strange.
" What did you do that for?" Brian asks the man that has hit me, looking like a mad terrier, ready to bite the imposter.
" Why you wanna taste one too?" he asks threateningly, just to be quiet down by his friends.
Then they leave the restroom, muttering that Americans are stupid. Brian pays no attention to them and he is constantly asking how I am feeling. After a while I'm getting pretty tired of this charade and I say, " B I'm fine. That guy didn't hit me so hard. I just got surprised, that's all."
Not believing me entirely my good bud frowns, " Then how come you look like you're dizzy?"
Beacuse I am! I'm about to spill the truth, but I bite my lip. No need to make Brian anymore concerned than he is besides my cheek doesn't hurt so much anymore. And the dizziness I have experienced on and off the whole day. The strange thing is that it feels like the guy knocked something loose inside my head and I feel pretty lightheaded right now.
The door opens and Kevin barge in, " Where have you guys be.." he starts and stops as he sees us sitting down on the tiled floor.
" What happened?"
Brian, being the great person takes on his quest to explain for Kevin about the situation at hand. He listens and then he says something that has me in for a loop. " That guy is gonna get it,"
" No!"
I swear that Brian is Ghandi reincarnated.
" Don't do that. Nick said it wasn't that hard," Turning to me he says, " right? Wanting to get my approval. I nod in response.
" Ok," Kevin sighs, " Very well then, we better get going since they want us to do the concert now."
" Sure"
With that I walk out of the restroom, tagging along as good as I can behind the rest of the guys. Something tells me that feeling all drunk, lightheaded and with a headache that is threatening to blow my skull to pieces this will be an interesting evening.
Not to mention the bruise that is starting to form on my cheek!
