Nick´s thank u speech!
Let me summon up my day to you. First I woke up with this terrible cold, which .was gone for a while and now is back again, making itself heard. After that I got my usual dose of carsickness and the guys nagging at me for whining, as usual. Then I got mobbed TWO times within a couple of hours by fans. Beat that if you can and finally knocked down by some mean ass guy in a public restroom (ok it wasn't that big of a deal, but it hurt I tell ya that). And finally I managed to get all woozy from drinking some cough syrup. Not to mention the mouth sore that makes me look like I have a big tumor on my lip!
If this ain't adventure than nothing is! The scary part is that my day is nowhere over and there are plenty more things that can happen. Just you wait and see.
I'm sitting here in front of a crowd of lets say 1000 specially invited people singing my heart out together with the guys. We are still at this charity concert and the only good part is that we only have to perform 5 numbers and than we are off. Some other German band is playing too, but we are the main attraction or the main dessert as Brian put it. The reason why people are paying big bucks to come to such an event. This is a charity concert in benefit of a Children's Hospital that will mainly deal with treatment of different sorts of cancerous diseases. After the concert there will be an award ceremony and Howie told me (after regaining strength from being compared to me and my sex life) that we will get an award since we have sold one million records last year in Germany. That is a lot and a lot of money. We are slowly hitting it big and I say as Kevin; just hope that we get to see some of that money that we are working our asses off for. They are not showing any sign, yet.
After the awards comes something that I know at least Howie has waited for, being the womanizer that he is (You were wrong AJ!). The contest winners will be presented and we get to spend the rest of our evening together with some "lucky" girls, eating dinner together.
This is an event that I DON`T look forward to at all. Mainly because the feeling of being up all night, almost, and running a low grade fever all day is starting to catch up with me. I also have a headache, and seriously starting to think that the guy most have knocked something loose in my head since I'm having more and more difficulty in staying awake. Isn't that what a concussion does? Makes you wanna sleep and feel sick? Even if I don't have an injury I still feel very sore in my body and my throat is aching something fiercely. I know that I might sound whiny but to tell you the truth right now all I wanna do is crawl into a warm bed and sleep!
Awww shit! I missed my part, or correctly I sang the wrong part and now I can feel the guys staring at me. Hopefully none of the audience will notice, but the guys have and Johnny and now I will have to live that down. I can't believe that I actually sang two parts no wonder that AJ glared at me irritated and it most have sounded strange in the beginning when we were both singing the same parts. Since I didn't recognize that I was making this fatal mistake (in Kevin's eyes), AJ backed off and let me take that part. I noticed too late what I had done and then there was no turning back. Just tough it out!
I am starting to get really sleepy here and now we have to dance too. Let's just sit here doing slow songs, I wanna yell but there is a show that has to be done and soon I'm back into "show business Nick". You know that guy that never stops, just sings and dance and entertain and looks like he has no troubles in the world. Well looks can deceive that we know by now, right?
Brian most sense that something is not right with me and before next song he covers his mic, like he always does and then whispers, " You ok, Frack?" I nod, and as a response. He continues, " Is it your chin?" I nod again, no need to worry him anymore than necessary " Ask D' for some pain med," he advises and then we are off to do the next number. That turned out to be a pretty smart suggestion since the moment we were off stage I asked "the human pharmacy of the Backstreet Boys" for a painkiller and swoop he pulled one from his bag. I'm really amazed over how he does that. I mean manage to pull all sorts of different things from his big bag. What D' doesn't have isn't worth having. Whenever we need something we ask D', and we never get disappointed.
Did you also know that Howie loves to read? Yup he is the book worm in the group and he reads everything. From how to be most successful (I'll bet that D' will be a businessman in the future) to some novel of some kind. He carries the books around with him and there have been many times when we were charged extra due to heavy weight to get his stuff on the flight. Sometimes D wants me to carry his stuff but there are ends to friendship. Rule number 52: Nick doesn't carry anything heavy or anything that might give him some trouble in one or the other way. Period.
Noticed how much I talk about my self in third person? That is maybe because my skull is splitting up soon, ya know; Split personalities!
" Here you go," Howie says, handing me two small pills in my palm. " You alright with that?"
" Mhm.." I don't wanna do too much talking since the singing and dancing have already worsened my pain and I'm pretty sure that this is a migraine that is flaring up. The outcome isn't something that I look forward too since I'm prone to migraine attacks and then there is nothing more to do than to stay in my room, blinds shut, trash can in hand. Now I was pretty sure that is how I would spend the night! What a joy. Wondering if Brian would share my enthusiasm, I thought sarcastically.
Me and Howie were alone since the rest of the guys had already gone to sit at our dinner table, waiting for the awards to be presented and the dinner dates to be announced. I was a bit surprised that no one had chewed me out, yes even mentioned that I was singing the wrong parts and sounding pretty out of place. But it will come, that I am as sure as of like my middle name is Gene! Hey who name their kids such weird name? You know Genie in a bottle!
" Is it the flu?" he asks and I can tell that he is fishingto see if he has to seek protection from my contagious self. I'm pretty sure that it is, but I don't want to scare him anymore than necessary, besides I need Howie to lean on so I don't drop flat on my face before getting to the table.
" No, it's a migraine." At least I'm not lying. It's a migraine AND flu!
" Are you sure that you're really up to this?" Howie doubts my state of health, and probably mind and I don't blame him since I must look like crap.
My nose is itching again and it feels like another sneezing attack is on its way. Please God, noooooo. Too late. My thoughts are drowned by loud sneezing and a pain that makes me wanna pass out surges through my skull. I grimace and I'm getting pretty sure that the head will blow up at any second. You know like car bombs in action movies. I just hope that Howie gets to take cover before my brain is splattering all over the place. Suddenly I get an idea! A brilliant one. Maybe that what was had happened in the last hotel room, you know with the bloodstains. Someone had a sneezing attack! This is something I have to tell Bone, another untested theory.
" Yeah sure," I don't wanna be disgusting, but after that last blast my nose is running and since I have no tissue in sight I use the back if my sleeve to wipe it off. I know, but clothes are for washing, right? An emergency has no rule, right? So there were really no harm done was it?
That is something that Howie doesn't seem to agree with, frowning in disgust, " Geee Nicky, can you be more nasty?"
" Yes." If I was in the mood I would go into detail, but that had to wait until some time when a woodpecker wasn't inhabited inside my skull, trying to peck it's way out.
Howie looks actually grateful that I don't share any details and he says a bit concerned, " Take those pills and you might feel better." I nod, dry swallowing those two small ones.
Bad mistake! Gigantic mistake! Mistake of all mistakes!
The pills get stuck half way through and this starts a chain reaction. I start to cough, bad. This makes my head hurt even more, like that was possible, and my nose and eyes starts watering in the process. Adding to my mouth sore that is in the " turning-into-a-blister-the-size-of-a-canon ball, I don't think that I'm a pretty sight. Poor the girl that gets to have me as a date!
Howie, who is already halfway through the door, turns around, slapping me hard in my back.
" Ouch that hurt!" I yell, not at all appreciating the free CPR lesson that he is giving me. This is the second day in a row that one of my band brothers is abusing me by hitting me and soon I'm calling the social worker and turn them in. Just kidding, but that slap, even if it was a light one makes my already sore back hurt even more.
" Oh, I'm sorry." Howie is always so polite and he draws his back away, like he is getting burned. Then suddenly his eyes starts to study me and he gets that same look as Brian has when he thinks that something is wrong with me. I swear that we have been together so long that we are starting to act and sound like each other at times. If we were girls we would have synchronized PMS that I'm sure of. Now we usually dump at the same times instead. This causes the bathroom to be pretty occupied at some times and has lead to many desperate stops along the roads in Europe!
I can see his hand moving towards my forehead and then stopping and he ruffles me in my head. It's a Brian gesture and it's freakin' annoying, What his goal is, is to check me out for fever. It's just that D' isn't as smooth as B and therefore the task gets unaccomplished. I move away with a sneer, " Don't!"
D' isn't as stubborn as Brian and therefore he backs away with a short " Sorry."
I sigh. " Well we better get going," I say as I make a move towards the door, Howie nods. Not saying anything. I hope that I haven't pissed him off or something but I wouldn't be too surprised. This evening is getting better and better.
******************
" Ladies and Gentleman, let me introduce Backstreet Boys who sold one million albums last year. Give them a hand." There is lots of applause and I feel a bit nervous as we get up on stage again. Okay 1000 people is nothing like singing in front of 10 000, but then I'm doing a performance and now I have to be myself, Nick Carter!
I am not the only one whose nerves gets all jittery while being at award shows. Brian usually throws up before going on them. But not small ones like this. I am a strange figure and I usually end up being sick AFTERWARDS! Imagine how screwed up my system really is. Last year we were at this award show in London and we were accepting the award in front of thousands of people and also TV cameras and all. That one rocked. Brian was white as a sheet and me and AJ seriously thought he would pass out. He did not, even if we had to drag him out from the john before the show started. Afterwards I was the one that they had to drag from the john since my nerves got all high wire when I realized what we had won and that I had actually met Emma in Spice Girls!
It's not the acceptance of an award that is the worst. It's that damned speech when you have to thank everybody and also say something witty. I consider myself to be a pretty fly guy, but not when it comes to public stuff like this. Then my tongue kind of gets stuck and my mouth gets as dry as a desert. Not to mention my hands that are so wet that I constantly have to wipe them off on my trousers. In short my nerves are all jittery and I usually end up saying something that I regret afterwards. Something stupid!
I have many people that I could thank for helping me out in my life, no doubt, it's just standing there I think it's a bit too personal for my comfort and I'm afraid that I will leave anyone out and that they will feel sore or something. I listen in awe as Howie and Kevin is giving away their speeches. AJ has never trouble talking in front of others and he usually gets it all done with a flash. Looking at Brian I can see that he is nervous as always since he is mostly standing with his eyes closed.
Have you ever noticed how Brian is often singing with his eyes closed? That is because he is suffering from stage fright and he often gets really nervous. He says it helps if you close your eyes and that I have tried some times. With various outcome! One time I actually closed my eyes during a song where we were suppose to make moves and end up hitting Kevin in..yeah you know where..The same area where I had a hour before made some rude comment to some unknown guy. It was accidentally, but Kevin folded over and I thought he would pass out. The chewing out that went on afterwards, when Kevin had his balls intact again was not something that I want to repeat here. Brian had laughed saying that I could only practice this when I was standing or sitting still and I was always jumping around like an grasshopper on stage. I'll guess that I have to find another technique to work.
" Thank you mom and dad and thank you God for making this opportunity to come true," I am listening as Brian thanks everybody that is important for him, except Samantha, since we are not allowed to mention girlfriends according to management. That is so stupid since everybody knows that AJ is dating Amanda and Brian Samantha, but Kevin's Kristin is a bit unknown, for now.
My heart is beating faster since I have to make up something clever to say and thank someone in particular. But who? I could dedicate this award to my parents, but that would be lying since the previous year they haven't been with me so much. Ok my dad has traveled with me or use to and sometimes my Uncle Bill. He is kind of cool and he doesn't hassle me about stuff. My parents are always pretty busy with Aaron and my sisters careers and that suits me just fine since I don't need anyone babysitting me 24/7.
I could thank the boys, but that would be a bit odd since they are with me accepting this award. Besides they already know that I love them and that they are my family and means the world to me. Even if they get in my hair sometimes. That leaves me management. Ok I'm very grateful that Lou and the Wrights found me and took me in and then I got this opportunity to be in the BSB. You probably all have heard the story how we get together so I won't bore anyone out about that one. One thing that has me puzzled it's that journalists keep asking us that question all the time and we takes turn in answering since it's kind of boring to listen to.
There are days when I feel like I wanna put something old over myself and then turn into my own cave. Days when I'm feeling sick from homesickness and when I think that the days stink as much as that cheese that Howie is so hooked upon, Gorgonzola something. It's some kind of mold and it smells like yesterday wool socks, full with foot cheese. Phew!!!!
But there are also days when I think that this work is the best and it's days like that I wanna remember when I grow old and sit back and think of my life. Help me!!! I'm starting to sound like Kevin more and more. I think that I might need therapy!
Sometimes I long so much for my friends down in Florida. Especially my childhood buddy Brent. Don't take me wrong, the guys and Brian are the best, but me and Brent go back a long while ago and have done some stupid stuff together. Like when we cheated in to that football game and crawled upon some roof. We got caught and I got grounded for one month! Or that time when we started a water fight at school and I accidentally threw a bucket of water all over my teacher. There are other things that we have done too and if you know me I never say no to a prank. It's just that recently I have been feeling so off and haven't really had the energy to do anything. Once when I'm fit for fight again, the guys better watch out because then the prank teaser will be back!!!!
I think that I have been spacing out again, like I do when I'm tired and have nothing to say, since Brian is nudging me at my side. It's my turn to talk and instantly I feel my throat constrict. Clearing my vocals I move towards the Mic and say with as steady voice as I can, " First I wanna thank my family, for being so supportive and helping me through rough times." I can hear myself uttering the word like I was some freakin' tape recorder. In the corner of my eye I spot my "brothers" and especially Bone is rolling his eyes when I mention this. " I also wanna thank the guys for being there for me all the time," I praise for a while, forcing a smile, " I love you guys!"
There is lots of applause and I bet that no one can even figure out that I'm actually suffering from a bad migraine and soon will be preaching the throne instead of standing here. But that is show business. Act and pretend and amuse others.
As I wasn't done I continue to thank Lou, Donna and Johnny for "discovering me" and I can see that for once Johnny actually look a bit satisfied with me. I haven't screwed up, not even once. And after I'm done thanking my friends and especially all the fans, Kevin grabs for the Mic. I can see in his eyes that he think that I have talked enough already. I however don't think that I'm done yet and continue, " I also wanna thank my dogs Frankie and Micky and.." Swoosh! Kevin grabs my Mic, instantly before I can finish my sentence. Looks like thanking your pets is pretty much out of the question, almost as bad as if AJ would thank the hot-online babes that he calls ever so often feeling looooonley!
" Nick has something he wanna say to you all," Kevin says and I feel like a fool. Haven't I made a too long of a speech? What does he wants me to say now?
" You know those German words," Bone whispers to me and I light up.
" Ok." Taking the Mic from Kev I say as romantic as I can, " Ich liebe dich, and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. We all mean it." I have said these words so many times and there is lots of applause.
As an ending Kevin takes the Mic back and then he says, " Thanks Germany. We love you!" We all smile "the Backstreet smile" and wave to the crowed. This award show is filmed on TV as well and we try to be to our best advantage. Brian also grits his teeth, like he does when he is nervous and thinks that the camera is watching him too closely.
Finally one two out of three parts of the evening is done and I can relax some. The evening is coming on pretty ok, even if I'm still battling that migraine attack and debating whether or not I should tell my buddies about my condition. I really wanna go back to the hotel, but I know that there is one more event that I have to attend first!
Dinner dating with the contest winners! What a blast!!!
