I went on a trip to Phoenix this weekend to visit my son.  While I was there I hooked up with an online sober friend and went to a meeting with her.    At the meeting were a couple of oldtimers both with over 50 yrs of sobriety.  My friend intoduced me to both of them.  They were both warm and loving to me. So I was sitting there looking at 100 yrs of Experience, Strength, and Hope. What a gift that these guys were still there to be an example that this program does work.  We had never met before but we knew each other well.  Even though over 50 yrs of life had taken a toll on their bodies they still had that twinkle in there eyes.  My oldtimers back here in Los Angeles have the same twinkle in their eyes.

When talking to them I have always found that they have certain things in common.  They work the steps to the best of there ability on a daily basis, they don't drink and they didn't die.

They are the greatest source of hope for me.  They allow me living proof that if I keep doing what they have taught me to do, then I will be able to keep that twinkle in my eye.

(Soberly submitted by Mark M. from Montebello, CA)

So there it is there....the Big 3.....Relationships, Money, and Sex. Three areas where we hold the majority of our resentments....just how do/did you handle these areas?

GEEEEZZZZZ----got none....got none.....got none.....no problem!!!!

no relationship----no problem no money....no problem no sex....could be a problem....lol As usual it comes down to what's happening with me at the time as to the importance of the big three in my life.

Right now its more on a survival level so the relationship thing is on the far back burner....got enough problems living with myself not ready for another human that close to me at the moment.

The money has always been an issue with me...having it or not I am always provided for by my higher Power....still mystifies me how that happens.  As long as I stay out of the "wants"...my needs are met.  I even get a few of the wants thrown in for grins.  I rarely miss a meal...haven't had to sleep in the cold without a blanket and usually have a roof over my head even if its a tent.  Not sure how that works either, just know it does.

Now about sex.....hehehehehehehehe....when its good its good and when its bad...buy power tools. I don't know!!!!   Just stay out of the hurting business....if you can't help...don't hurt.

So many of my views have changed radically from my past...yet so many of my taboos of the past are gone too...so it fluctuates with the moment.. I know when I am being selfish...and occasionally its actually encouraged... I also know when I am being unfair...and usually why...more of that motive stuff.  I am not a saint...don't want to be...like my life (usually), like myself (usually), and like other people (usually).

Have gotten very selective with age...but can get wild with the best of them on occasion.  God doesn't leave when you close the bedroom door, although a few people forget that fact.

(Soberly submitted by Jo from Phoenix, AZ)

Since November, everytime I take a step towards a permanent job the job goes south.  The door opens, I step towards the door and as soon as I do, the door slams shut.  I have never experienced anything like this in my life!  I've always considered myself a fairly competent Lab technician capable of earning a living wage yet these last few months have really made me question a number of things in my life.

As the months wore on, I became more and more frustrated.  I have found myself asking why did I sober up, What the heck is going on, Am I not doing all the right things and God, where are you.

The last two weeks have found me working for a temp company called labor ready and there I have found most of my answers.  If you ever wonder where you might have ended up had you not stopped drinking, rest assured, go to labor ready and see your future should the disease continue.  I mean half these folks are drunk or stoned at 5:30 in the morning.  About a third are homeless, filthy clothes, two-thirds have no cars, missing teeth, people on the edge of not only their lives but on the edge of just simply disappearing from the face of the earth.  As if they never existed.  I'd hate to have lived in this world and to have no one on this earth know I was here.  To know I never existed.

I'm a lab tech who of late has been doing construction cleanup, waxing floors in supermarkets at night and any other job most folks don't want to do.  I do it because it keeps a roof over my head, gas in the car and a little food on the table.  It's really scary sometimes.  The fear in the middle of the night like where is my rent going to come from and Lord I need gas for the car.

Sometimes I'm just plain scared to death.  And when I'm scared to death about these sorts of things, the things that keep me awake at night, the financial home things, I feel so alone.

Lately though, I've been sleeping rather well.  Some would say it's because of the hard physical labor or that I'm working towards a goal so it's the sleep of the righteous but you know, I think it's something else.  I've seen what my life could have been, still could be.  I've seen the step below my life as I now know it should I ever pick up a drink again and it's pretty uncomfortable.  I could easily be one of those folks.

I could easily be one of those folks except I didn't drink today.  I still have skills that someday will lift me up as long as I don't drink today and keep trusting in my God.  I have hope.  I have faith.  I have a chance.  If I don't drink today.  If I drink, all bet's are off.  Simple as that.

I thought I had reached bedrock.  The bottom.  As far as I can dig down. But lately I've learned that no matter how far down I dig, no matter how far down I sink, there is always a man with a drink and a pick to help me dig just a little deeper.

(Soberly submitted by Jeff from Kansas City, KS)