Ask Amy

Do you have a problem you can't solve on your own? Do you need advice and don't know who to ask? ASK AMY! Your name and email address will not be posted and will be kept strictly confidential. askamy@usa.net Scroll down to see what other people have "asked amy".

Q:i have this really good guy friend, who also happens to be really cute & really sweet. i'm falling in love with him, which would normally be okay because i used to think that he liked me,too. he was always really sweet & he would call me the most beautiful girl in the world (along with using otherflattering compliments.) then at the beginning of the 97-98 school year,he wouldn't talk to me, & i was left pretty much brokenhearted. now it'sbetter & we're at least on speaking terms, but i still want to let him know how i feel. what should i do?

A:Hi! I have had the same problem. I have a guy friend who I also had eyes for.....and I thought he felt the same also. He used to act like it at least. Then he'd go through periods of ignoring me. I don't know why guys do that, they get freaked out very easily. The best thing that I can tell you to do is don't tell him! Not unless he opens his heart to you first. You don't want to destroy a beautiful friendship with him. Maybe that's why he backed off - he feared you were falling for him? Sometimes I wonder if that's why my guy backed off. To make a long story short, me and my guy are still pals....if we had become more then that there's no guarentee it would have lasted. Enjoy him as a friend...if he winds up wanting more let HIM take the first step! Hope that helped! :)
Ciao
*Amy*

Q:hi, i've known my best friend for 7 or 8 years,now she's acting like little ms. kewl. She acts like the wholeworld revolves around her and she is treating my like dirt,she acts like she doesn't know me when she's around her"new" best friend. but in private she acts sooooo nice to me,i know i've been told to forget about being friends with her but ican i mean we're talking about 7 or 8 years down the drain!!!this last year has been vey hard on my family, my big brother gotin trouble at school, we're having other very personal stuff going on. WHAT SHOULD I DO!!??

A:Ouch. It hurts when people do things like that. I don't think you're going to like what I'm going to tell you. Friends are people who are supposed to be there for you through thick and thin. They are ESPECIALLY supposed to be there for you through the hard times in your life, like it sounds like you're going through now. This girl does not sound like a friend. I know that sometimes it's hard to let go, but in the long run, it makes life much easier. People grow apart, it's sad but true. What was a very close friendship 7 or 8 years ago could very easily be nothing now. There is no excuse, however, for the way this girl is treating you. I suggest you sit down and write her a long letter. Tell her how much you care about her and don't want to let her go, but also tell her how she is hurting you. Try not to be mean or nasty in the note. See how she responds. Maybe she didn't realize she was doing this to you. If that's the case, another chance may be what you want to give her. If she doesn't seem to care how you feel about it, she is definately NOT a friend, and not worth hurting over. Slowly let go and find someone more like you to get close to. There's a lot of people out there needing a good friend like you! Let me know what happens!
Hugs
*Amy*

Q:there is this guy that I am seeing and he is alittle older then I am ...I am 18 and he is 26 and I really get along with him and his family and he seems to really get along with my family but it seems like I really have to twist his arm to go places with me but whne we do go out we have a really great time with eachother...but he is just sooo shy and really hasn't had much dating experince and I just wish I could get him to open up more around me he is very out going when we are around other people or are families but when we get together on a one to one bases he just seems to shut down and get really quite we have been dating for about 4 months what do you think I should do to get him to open up more around me because I am really starting to fall for this guy!!!!! please help!!

A:Your guy may have a fear of saying/doing the wrong thing. You say that he's outgoing around your families and friends, but not you.....I think that since he hasn't had much dating experience that he doesn't quite know what to say or how to act when it's just you and him. Give him some more time to relax and settle down into the relationship, it sounds like he's still a little uncomfortable right now. As for right now, strike up conversations about subjects you know he feels strongly about (i.e. his favorite football team, his job, etc.....) Get him talking about just plain everyday stuff with you. This will get him to forget being about being uncomfortable The more you do this, the more comfortable he'll start to feel and you can move on to more serious conversations. In time, he should be as out-going around you as he is around everyone else! I know that this may be frustrating to you, but good things come to those who wait....if this guy's worth keeping he's worth investing a little time into too! Did that help?
Smiles
*Amy*