Do you love me yet?
Topic: The Thin Line
do i put it to him bluntly? or ask so sweetly? just go in for the kiss? shout it out for all to hear? send a letter through the mail...? dedicate a song on the radio? wait, what if he doesn't hear it? write a note and leave it on his car? itll blow away before he finds it. just call him up and ask him? what if he says "no"? id rather live with daydreams than rejection. how can it be possible that i dont give myself away everytime i look at him? i wonder if he knows i have a million dollar smile reserved just for him. ok, i give. i really messed up - but it was sooo long ago. ive grown up since then, why cant he just forgive me and pick up where we left off. i know i hear him say it. its not just my imagination. he didnt care who else was there - he heard my name and asked about everybody else, but didnt listen when he got an answer. just like ive been doing, tip toeing around. i want him so bad but im not willing to go for it again becuase im afriad that he will deny me or use me. id let him use me. thats really the reason i dont want to ask. grrr. why cant it just be easy? i cant waste too much more time on this. i freakin hate this! pineing away for some guy. but not just any guy. Can I love you yet? just for a day? give me a trial period and you'll see. Ive got it! ill make an infomercial! that would just be riotus.

it all started with a contradiction
Topic: Misc. ponderings
intent is a devious creature. luring you in one direction long enough to get a glimpse of what might be, then tearing you away and into something new. i resent that heavy hand of fate for not delivering my desires. there is no use in fighting it though. all i can do is put one foot in front of the other and keep moving on. my orphan spirit longs for a home that doesn't exist. "just keep moving on" i tell myself. change is the only constant thing to comfort me through my journey. though, its hard not to dig my heels in sometimes to try and slow down as i'm day-by-day propelled through it all. "just once," i plead, "let me stop and rest my tired feet, my weary soul." its a futile cry for sympathy from an apathetic world. it just relentlessly moves forward paying no heed to my plight. so i just keep moving on, one foot in front of the other. only worse off then, for having wasted precious moments on my own self pity.

Time Management
Mood:  irritated
Topic: Misc. ponderings
Time management and i dont get along (kinda like me and laundry - but thats a different story all together). My father on the other hand, seems to be the time management grand master. so when i do all of the regular college age kid things like - GASP! - hang out with my friends or - OH MY - sleep in untill nine thirty if i dont have class untill 1130, i have to spend the rest of the day hearing about how i have poor time management. its not the funnest thing in the world. i work, i go to school (haha, hes gonna hate that i have a good excuse now) and everything is nice for me so damnit, i might just check my e mail before i get in the shower in the morning if i feel like it. doing so will not mess up my entire days schedule. give me a break! im losing steam here, i guess thats good. getting at all out. im really starting to like this blog thing. it comes highly suggested from vinnie herself. your gar-un-teed a good time. go blogs.

The Flight Home
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
My flight home was rediculous! i woke up late for my flight, (becuase i stayed up waaay to late) and by the time i got to the airport, i was a freakin mess. i did not want to leave vegas, i had only gotten an hour of sleep and i was hungry as hell. when i got there, i found out that i wasnt going to make my flight and just as i about gave up all hope, corrie appeared. i thought she had dropped me off and left for school. turns out, shes the most awesome corrie ever. she knew i was freakin out and came in to rescue me! The ticket counter guy was really cool about the whole thing (me being late for my flight) and booked me a flight later in the day at no extra charge! i about kissed the guy. so corrie and i got to spend some extra time together, had some breakfast and then i was off! as soon as the plane was in the air, i was out like a light. next thing i know, im being woken up by a flight attendant telling me to put my seatbelt on becuase we were beginning our descent. i strapped in and turned to the ladies behind me, "we're here already?"
"no," they said "we're emergency landing in oklahoma city. some guy back there - " (points to the back of the plane) "had a heart attack so we have to land."
Apparently, this guy had a major heart attack on the plane and i had slept through the whole thing. i fell back asleep before we were even off the ground again. When i woke up, we were descending on Atalanta, where i was going to catch my connecting flight at 8:54pm. as we were taxing to a stop, i checked the time, it was 8:50! i grabbed all my stuff and hustled to the front of the plane. just as i got there, the gate attendant opened the door. i ran off the plane and through the gate with the attendant close at my heels. i asked her where my connecting flight's gate was at, and she informed me that it was delayed till 9:30. phew! close one! so i took my time through the airport, got a bite to eat, and wandered to my terminal to wait. my flight got delayed till 955pm then 1020. they started letting passengers on at about 950. The first three zones boarded, and i was next in line, when they suddenly stopped taking tickets. and then, deboarding passengers! i was extremely confused. turns out, one of the flight attendants dropped a tray on her foot, so she wasnt going to be able to make the flight. We had to wait untill almost 1100p for a new flight attendant to get there so we could take off. after that, everything was smooth sailing. the guy in the seat next to me was gorgeous! arriving at toledo was at the same time the most comforting thing (home!) and the most despicable (snow!). i successfully made it back to my own bed, after a very, very long week.

Day 2 - Las Vegas
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
This morning, i was used to the fact that i wasnt at home when i woke up. it made me a little sad. I had been starting to think that i would be alright if i moved away from Toledo, that i wouldnt miss my family that bad, but i already kinda did. fan damily. When i got to the apartment, nobody was there. That kinda sucked. So i called both my 'rents and got in the shower. Derek and Kyle and I went down to the strip to mill around and it wasnt till then that i realized, really, how big Vegas is. Everything is gigantic compared to home. The biggest thing we have here is the Franklin Park Mall and thats nothing in comparison to some of the casinos. We walked in Cesars at one end of the block and came our the other. no joke. They had the ritziest stores too. Gucci and Bvalgari, Louis Vuitton, Dolce and Gabanna. It was nuts. The walk was enjoyable. there was a lot to look at. I must have looked like such a dork. all i could do was look up and around at everything. people passing by knew right away that i was a tourist. nobody really bothered me, although, i did learn just how to shake my head no to make the escort people not hand me a flier. There was one about every half block. I dont think i saw any hookers but you never know, right? I picked Corrie up from school for lunch and the boys me us at the Kopper Keg. I highly recomend the Turkey Sandwich on white - but dont get the fruit. Corrie went to class and i picked up jenni from work and we commenced with more bumming around the apartment till it was time to pick corrie up again. We made plans with Derek to go down to the strip again and went to aladdin it was almost as impressive as Cesars. We sat down for dinner inside the mall part and had the fortune of experiencing the indoor thunderstorm. It literally rained inside! Lights flashed like lighning and thunder boomed through the speakers. it was great. Corrie wasnt feeling well and jen had to work in the morning, so they went back to the apartment and derek and i went to the mirage, treatsure island, the venetian and whatever else seemed interesting. the Venetian was beautiful. They have a river inside with gondolas you can ride. we were there too late for alot of the stores to be open but there were lots of pictures to take. (my batteries died before we go threre though! bad planning sucks) I was unhappy when it was time to leave. Another neato night in LV.

Day 1 - Las Vegas, NV
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
I woke up this morning to the sound of three girls all getting ready for class at the same time. Hair dryers and sinks running and shouts of "has anybody seen my (fill in any misc. item here)?!" are actually a pretty good alarm clock if you ask me. you cant really hit snooze on that one. Corrie went to class and i had the pleasure of spending my morning with one of her roomates , Jenni. We're both aquariusis (aquarii? if anybody knows the plural on that, feel free to leave a comment...) and had a grand old time. about an hour after i got up, i got a text from the boys we met on the road, saying that they were coming to Vegas this afternoon! There had been a really bad snow storm in Flagstaff and they were getting out while they had the chance. Jenni and i met Corrie for lunch a Enzos, which was a NY themed pizzaria. Out side there was a very interesting sign "Please do not pour drinks into the planters" weird... anyways, lunch was good, greasy, cheezy pizza and afterwards we went to the best smoke shop ive ever been to. Beautiful collection, reasonable prices, who can beat that here in sylvania? When bummed around back at the apartment for a while and then people started comming over. At one point, i think there were as many as twelve girls in the apartment. i dont think i have ever voulentairly hung out with that many girls at once but im glad i did because i had a great time. Hi everybody whos reading this! i miss you guys! After a bit Corrie and i went down to the Tropicana to hang out Derek and Kyle (the boys from the road). We cruised the strip for who knows how long. It was extremely fun. Somehow we ended up walking thru Excalibur like four times! We also went to New York, New York, the Luxor and some others i think. I had a great time. After a while, it was time to go and Corrie took me with her to her friend Mark's house. It was a beautiful place. The music was a little loud though. I was happy when it was time to crash. I really like Vegas.

Flagstaff, AZ to Las Vegas, NV
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
When we woke up in the morning, we found out that the car would be ready at Eleven which conviently was check-out time. We walked over to the service station to be told that the car wouldnt be ready for another half and hour so we walked over to the Village Inn Pancake House (yep, another one) and had ourselves some breakfast. The waitress sucked. Back over at the service station, we found out that they couldnt really figure out what was wrong with the car so we ended up playing cards in the waiting area for almost two hours! Then it started to snow. In Arizona. We were pretty confused. We ended up
(surprize) making friends with two of the car repair guys. They were chatting with us and smoking cigarettes with us. Pretty cool guys if you ask me. Eventually the car got fixed (the rotar was rubbing on the contact points inside the distributer) and we were on our way. We stopped at a really neat bead store that i had been to last time i was there and windowshoped in a few of the stores. Very cool shopping. Its a hippie town, and the people were all very nice. Then it was time to continue our incredible journey to Las Vegas. Just as we hopped on the e-way, the phone rang. It was the dolls we had dinner with in Alba. They were calling to say that they were just outside Flagstaff and wanted to do lunch. Unfortuantely, we were already too far on the way to Vegas. It was a little snowy and all the Arizona people didnt know how to drive in it so the going was slow for a while. The rest of the drive was uneventful. The Hoover Dam was a sight to behold but it was too dark to get pictures. When we came around the mountains, the first time i saw Vegas, i was awestruck. Lights as far as the eye could see. and the light atop the Luxor was awesome. We cruised down the strip and saw some of the casinos (and a few hookers!) When we got back to the apartment, i almost fell asleep in the bathtub! i clmibed into bed at almost nine and slept all through the night last night.

Flagstaff, AZ
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
By the time we were getting off at flagstaff, we were beat. But it was only another three hours to Vegas so we were determined to make it. We stopped for gas and the city was all closed (it was about one on a sunday, what did we expect?) i really wanted to stay in Flagstaff becuase i was there about five years ago and loved it. and fortunately for me, unfortunate for our ETA of four am for Vegas, the car had the same idea i did. When we pulled out of the gas station, it died!! smack in the middle of flagstaff! We busted out the emergency repair kit and popped the hood to assess the situation. We decided the oil was low and put another quart in just as the CHEIF OF FLAGSTAFF POLICE rolled up to see if we needed any assistance. He ended up pushing our car with his into the nearest parking lot. Then we called AAA and began the HOUR LONG process of getting them to call a tow truck for us. (Cor just got her membership for christmas and she only had her temproary ID number and the AAA people were too stupid to find a record of her in their system) After twenty minutes and the AAA dicking us around, corrie got frustrated and tried to start the car again, and much to our delight, it started! so she put it in reverse and off we went! we pulled out onto route 66 and just as the median started, the car died - again! so we had to call AAA again! When the tow truck finally came, corrie and i discovered that we had broken down directly in front of the AAA approved auto service center. We ended up staying in the hotel next door to the service center.

Day 2 - Straud, OK to Flagstaff, AZ
Mood:  energetic
Now Playing: Every CD in Corrie's car - twice!
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
Sleep came quick last night and McDonalds was close to the hotel so we had an easy time waking up this morning and getting an early start. Corrie drove first thing in the morning thru a pretty rough leg of the trip. Oklahoma city was a bitch. It was very curvy roads atop very hilly terrain. Nothing like we see in Sylvania. I dont have my triptix right now so im not sure where it was that we switched driving (but im gonna find out and re-post this with that detail). So then we're crusin along and notice a car with some cool bumper stickers on it so we flash a peace sign as we go by. Later, they cruise past us and float the goat in our direction (bend your middle two fingers down to your thumb and stick your other two fingers out straight) so then Corrie and i get curious about these people (two good looking guys bytheway)and decide to write a note and hold it up to the window to ask them where they are going. Turns out they were heading to Albaqurke (i have no idea how to spell that, ill have to fix that too)! so we asked them if they wanted to stop for dinner with us. They accepted and we exchanged numbers. When we got to alba, we originally stopped in a restaurant called The Range. The menu sucked (our waitress was cool though) so we went accross the street to the Village Inn Pancake House. Dinner was very fun. It was like we were sitting talking to people from back home. After dinner we all said our good-byes and Corrie and i continued our incredible journey to Flagstaff. They were headed there in the morning, but we didnt plan on staying. They said that they would be in Vegas on Wednesday though so we might be able to see them again. The drive from then on was tiring. It was pretty much a blur. Night driving is rough. it all looks the same becuase all you can see is the road. its really dark becuase the cities are so far apart.

Day 1 - Toledo, OH to Straud, OK
Topic: Vaca to Sin City
Today we made it from Toledo to Straud, OK. Nothing exciting to report yet. But when we woke up this morning we had to call the front desk to find that out. Indiana, Illinois, Missouri, and (so far) Oklahoma really haven't been all that exciting. Just driving and talking. Corrie and I have had a lot to catch up on. Iv'e missed her a lot. The weather was surprizing when we got out at the hotel. It was about fifty degrees outside at one in the morning. I had a little party right there in the parking lot. I was real glad to shower although I couldn't find my shampoo. Sleeping will be grand.