?...?
I scrawl this in haste across the back of a campaign poster I found under the bed. I can?t read the writing on the other side, and the candidate?s countenance lacks a single recognizable feature. It may be that along with words, I have lost the ability to read faces. If this is true, the entire town must have descended into communicative purgatory. Yet, I see my mother?s visage, and hear my mother?s words. She comes to my room and feeds me broth, lays a tender hand on my cheek. Before she even opens her narrow lips, I know what she is going to say:
?Why, dear? Why won?t you join the others??
The wind outside is cold. It rattles the mottled glass, and seeps through the papery walls that tick and creak. The pipes inside them moan, threatening to burst. I have one blanket, that is soiled and worn nearly transparent, to wrap around my quivering body. I curl myself into a ball on the bed that is missing a leg and dream that I?m struggling up a snowy mountainside, cradling a small flame at my bosom. I must get to the top before angry gusts swallow its heat.
She says, ?Come and be warm.? I squint at her, so as not to see the welts on her arms and neck. One day, after the spoon sat empty in the cooling bowl, she left, but I didn?t hear the key turn in the lock. Instead, I heard small scraping sound. I looked down and saw bronze teeth shining in the gap beneath the door. Now I am my own warden.
The mob caught up with me not long after my last missive ? how many months ago? I pray that it found its path, by hook or by crook, through the few sane hands left, to the printing press and that someone with half a brain is still publishing the Lantern.
Meanwhile I found my way, through very unsane hands, to this house, which, in my blurred mind (I only saw the exterior once) appears as a neglected marionette, hanging limp in a mesh of telephone wires. Why did they imprison me? Because I refused to partake in their idiocy, their cruel and masochistic games ? the memories of which still haunt me. I don?t want to write about them, but I will tell you this.
The night of my ?liberation? I stared at that key for hours, not wanting to venture out of my room. No matter how miserable I was inside it, I was sure that to witness the world outside of it again would finally drive me mad. Nevertheless, my brain decided that action was better than inaction and that, maybe if I left the house I could find a way out of the town and escape this miasma once and for all. On feet numb with cold, I crept down the hallway and onto the creaking stairs. Painfully, slowly, over the course of hours, fearing at every tread, I made my way down that wooden hill. Then my thoughts of escape fell into paralysis. Sprawled about the bare parlor were my captors, each one wrapped in a roll of pink housing insulation. They wheezed and coughed in their sleep. My mother opened her eyes and began to unroll herself with little yelps of pain.
?Here,? she said ?Come and be warm. Come and take mine.?
I am back in my room and determined to stay here. I realize now that I?m all she?s living for. If I leave, she?ll succumb to madness and destroy herself like the others. I drop this out the window in hopes that some interloper in the shadowy street below (I see movement down their ? figures? Footsteps? Friends? )
Help! Send help ? I?m stranded on this snowy mountainside and this flame is growing larger, too big for me to carry in my cupped palms.
Signed: Secretary of the City Council