Disclaimer: Mulder, Krycek, Scully and all other X-Files characters who get thrown into this mix do not belong to me. Chris Carter owns 'em. I'm sure he won't mind if I borrow them for a little fun, though.

Rated NC-17 This is not a story for the kiddies. If naughty words and strong same-sexual images disturb you, run! Go and never come back. There’s tons of angst, a touch of violence, bad words, a whole bunch of sweet moments and even...dare I say it...the "L" word thrown in for good measure. If sugar isn’t in your diet, I’ll give you a second warning. Run!!

Admission V
Paradise Found

By Aries

The Way You Look Tonight ~ Elton John

Mulder lay on his back, staring up in the direction of the ceiling and listening to the soft sounds of sleep made by the man beside him. He shifted to look at Alex. He couldn’t make much out in the darkness of the very early morning, but he could tell that his back was to him. Without actually making contact, Mulder’s fingers traced a line across one shoulder and down his side. He wanted to touch that smooth skin. He wanted to so very much...

He closed his eyes and let himself imagine running his hand down Alex’s trim waist to his hip, then letting it wander down the front of him until he reached his sleeping cock. In his mind, he could hear the soft sigh. He could feel the slight stir of the shaft in his palm as he gently fondled it through the thin cotton of Alex’s underwear. He could feel the movement of his lover’s body as he pushed back with his hips, slowly writhing against Mulder’s stony erection.

As if on cue, Krycek moaned softly in his sleep and shifted his position. Mulder moved back quickly. If he hadn’t, their bodies would have touched and after that little fantasy, it really wouldn’t have been such a great idea. In the last week they’d been very careful to avoid any situation that might cause Mulder any more pain. Alex had even suggested sleeping on the sofa, but that was the one thing that Mulder absolutely would not agree to.

"This is just too much temptation Fox," Krycek argued the night after Mulder’s nightmare. "I can’t watch you suffer like that, again."

"And I can’t stand the thought of you out there on the couch." He inched closer, brushing his thigh against Krycek’s. "I need to have you here with me. I promise I’ll behave myself."

"I must be out of my mind," he mumbled. "Okay, but I’m telling you, one slip and I am going to sleep on the couch. Deal?"

Mulder sighed. "Deal."

A week later, he’d kept up his end of the bargain. But being so close to Alex all night, night after night and not being able to touch him the way he was dying to touch him, was a torture all it’s own. He hoped to hell that this vacation helped.

He looked over at the dark pile of luggage by the wall, then over at the clock. It’d be going off in about ten minutes, then they’d get up, get dressed and be on their way.

They were going to spend two months on Andros. The largest but possibly one of the least explored of the Bahama Islands. Perfect for those who crave privacy. Perfect for them.

From the day Mulder had decided on the location, it took Alex three days to make all the necessary arrangements...none of which he’d discuss with his traveling companion. He insisted on complete control over all of the plans. From their flight, to where on the island they’d be staying, to the accommodations themselves, Alex was in charge. Mulder put up a little fuss just for show, but in reality he was looking forward to being surprised.

He’d had no problems at all, getting the time off. Skinner knew how sick he’d been. Had watched him deteriorate for months and was almost as anxious as Scully to see him get well.

Scully.

She’d been amazing through all of this. Going from the role of the antagonist to guardian angel, doing everything in her power to get him and Alex back together and keep them together. A better friend, there never was. He wished he could find some way to properly thank her for all she’d done for him.

He slipped quietly out of bed, taking care not to wake Alex. He hadn’t slept especially well the past week. He’d always been a light sleeper, but since Mulder’s dream the week before and the one he’d had just three nights ago, it was worse than usual. If he so much as sighed, Alex was awake, checking to make sure that everything was all right. Mulder hoped that this vacation would do as much for Alex’s well-being as Alex hoped it would do for his.

He shut the alarm function off on the clock by the bed and stole out of the room. After a quick shower and shave, he got dressed and returned to the bedroom where Alex was still sleeping peacefully. He hated to wake him but it was time that he got up. Scully would be there to pick them up in about fifty-five minutes and he didn’t want to keep her waiting.

He seated himself at the edge of the bed and touched Krycek’s shoulder.

"Alex."

Krycek’s eyes snapped open and he drew himself up on one elbow. Concerned eyes focused on the man in front of him.

"Hmm? You okay?"

Mulder’s hand moved from his shoulder to the back of his head. "I’m fine," he said softly. "It’s time to get up, that’s all."

Krycek blinked and shook his head. "Oh. Okay." He noticed for the first time that Mulder was already dressed. "How long have you been up?"

"Only about twenty minutes."

Krycek gave him a sleepy smile. "Anxious?"

One corner of Mulder’s mouth slanted upwards. "Yeah, I guess."

"You guess? You mean you’re not sure that you want to leave this twenty-five degree weather and be someplace where you can lay in the warm sun, swim in the ocean..." He skimmed one finger down the curve of Mulder’s cheek. "...take long, moonlit walks..."

Mulder’s lopsided grin turned into a full smile. "Get dressed, would you? Let’s get the hell out of here."

Scully popped the trunk of her car and stood back as the men lifted the bags into the compartment.

"Thanks again Scully for getting up at such an ungodly hour," Krycek said.

"No problem." She pushed the trunk closed and they got into the car. "Now you said it was Gate two, right?"

Krycek pulled a small black notebook from his back pocket and flipped through a couple of pages. "Yeah. Gate two."

Mulder turned around and tried to sneak a peek at what was written in the book, but Krycek snapped it closed before he could see anything. Mulder cast his eyes upward and turned his head.

"Give up Mulder," Scully said, displaying a ‘cat that ate the canary’ smirk.

"C’mon Scully, give me a clue." He shot a disgusted glance at the one who had closed his eyes and stretched out in the back seat. "We’ve been partners for six years. I’m the one you have an allegiance to, not him...you never even liked him!" He chose to ignore the soft chuckle that came from behind.

Scully shrugged. "Sorry."

Mulder slouched in his seat. "Fine."

Quiet prevailed until Scully approached the airport. She called to Krycek.

"Hey Alex, there’s the sign for Gate two."

Krycek broke his silence. "Okay. Just follow the road right around. You’ll come right to it."

Come right to what? Mulder wondered. His silent question was answered a few minutes later.

Scully pulled into a largely deserted lot and stopped the car. A few dozen yards away, sat a lone jet. A few people, the hangar crew from what Mulder could tell, were milling around, making last minute checks.

Mulder turned around and raised his eyebrows. "You chartered a plane?"

Krycek winked. "No obnoxious drunks, no complaining old ladies, no screaming kids. Our peace and quiet starts right now."

Mulder lowered his head and laughed softly.

Krycek leaned forward and kissed his temple. "Surprise..."

The tinkle of Scully’s laughter drew the attention of both men. She looked away and laughed again.

Mulder asked first. "What’s so funny?"

"Nothing, it’s...I just can’t believe that I’m sitting here thinking how damn cute you two are together."

Mulder laughed too. "You can’t believe it..."

Scully tapped the seat with her palm. "Come on, let’s get you out of here."

As soon as she opened the trunk, two porters descended on them from behind.

"We’ve got those, ma’am."

She whirled to face the men, more than a bit startled. "Oh...sure."

When the men were gone, she turned to Alex.

"Would their last names happen to be Krycek?"

"What do you mean?"

"They seem to possess the same ability to appear out of nowhere that you do."

He merely shrugged and gave her a sly grin.

Minutes later, they were informed that the jet was ready to be boarded. Scully went to Mulder and wrapped him in a snug embrace.

"You get plenty of rest, you hear? Enjoy yourself and don’t worry about a thing. I got it all covered." She leaned back and pointed a stern finger at him. "And eat! If you don’t put on at least eight pounds, don’t even come back."

"I’ll try. I promise. Scully....thanks. I don’t...I don’t know what I would have done..."

She cut him off before this started to get mushy. "Don’t give it another thought. The best thanks I could have is to get my old partner back."

Mulder gave her another squeeze, then backed away. Scully looked to Krycek who was watching from a distance. She regarded him thoughtfully, then stepped forward.

"I know you’ll take good care of him."

Krycek nodded. "I appreciate your trust."

Mulder was taken aback as he watched his partner stretch up and wind her arms around Krycek’s neck.

Krycek himself was a bit stunned and it took him a second or two to respond. He brought his arms around her waist and hugged her back.

The embrace was brief but highly significant in the progression of the relationship between these two. They were no longer rivals but rather partners of a sort, both fiercely dedicated to the emotional and physical well-being of one Fox Mulder.

"Call when you get there," she reminded him.

"We will."

Scully moved away and waved at Mulder, who returned the gesture.

Krycek approached him and with a hand at the small of his back, steered Mulder toward the waiting jet. When they reached the top of the steps, both men turned and waved once more at Scully then disappeared inside.

Scully stood beside her car and watched the jet move toward the runway. Watched its taxi and ascent. Not until she could see it no longer did she get into her car and drive off the field.

Mulder ran a hand down the arm of his very comfortable seat and looked around.

"This is nice. Think I could get the Bureau to spring for a Lear for my next case?"

Krycek shook with silent laughter. "Nah. The Bureau couldn’t give a good damn about your comfort." He brushed a few stray strands of hair away from Mulder’s face. "They don’t love you."

Mulder gave him an almost shy smile and changed the subject.

"Thanksgiving and Christmas in the Bahamas. Gonna be great."

"Are you sure you’re okay with not being with you mother?"

"I’m fine. She’s obviously okay with not being with me."

"I can’t believe that she had no reaction when you told her you hadn’t been well."

Mulder shrugged. "Well, she did ask if I was okay. Once I told her that I was, the barrier was back in place. A holiday together with her would be anything but relaxing." He reached for Krycek’s hand, intertwining their fingers. "She’s got family and friends. She won’t be alone. And neither will I."

"But she doesn’t know that..."

"True. She never asked if I was going away alone. I don’t think she cares to know...whatever."

Krycek kissed the back of his hand. "Will you ever tell her?"

"I don’t....I can’t see that happening. She’s already had one stroke. And if it she doesn’t die from the shock, I think she’d write me off for good. It’s too bad. I’d really like to think that she would be glad to know that for once in his life, her son was happy but..." He shook his head and went silent.

Krycek cupped his face. "Are you really happy with me?"

"I’m spending two months alone with you on a tropical island. Do you think I’d do that if I wasn’t?"

Krycek grinned. "Guess not."

"Damn straight."

"It’s just that...so much has happened in the last few months. Sometimes I wonder."

"Wonder what?"

"Do you ever look at me sometimes and wonder what the hell you’re doing, trusting me again?"

Mulder thought for a moment, then answered. "No. I mean...after this last week, how could I not trust you? Maybe...maybe at first...that morning you walked into my bedroom and Scully told me that she’d brought you there...all I could think about was the last time I’d seen you and I couldn’t trust that you were there for me. For us. I really did think that either she’d forced you somehow, or guilt had gotten the better of you..."

"I understood that. It hurt like hell to hear it, but I did understand how you’d think it." His eyes searched his lover’s. "You have no doubts at all anymore?"

Mulder shook his head.

Alex bowed his head as a smile crossed his lips. "Probably should have asked you this stuff before we got on the plane."

"To repeat Alex, if I didn’t trust you, the last thing I’d be doing is going away with you for two months."

Alex leaned in and planted a chaste kiss on Mulder’s lips. "How about some breakfast?"

"Sure."

Twenty minutes later, they were feasting on a light fare, consisting of warm butter croissants, fresh fruit and muffins. Well...Alex feasted. Mulder picked.

"Not hungry?" Alex asked after polishing off his third croissant.

"I’m eating..."

"You’ve had two strawberries and about a quarter of that muffin."

Mulder looked down at his plate. "More like a third."

Alex sighed softly and broke off a small piece of muffin, bringing it to his lover’s mouth. A sudden heaviness invaded his eyelids as he watched those sinfully beautiful lips part. A teasing flash of pink tongue and the morsel disappeared inside. When Mulder swallowed, he repeated the process. This time, the tip of Mulder’s tongue inched out and managed to touch one of his fingers. Alex inhaled sharply at the tiny caress.

"Behave..."

"What’d I do?"

"You know what you did."

"You want to toss it into my mouth from a distance?"

"That might be safer."

"Can’t control yourself?"

"I can control myself just fine, thank you."

"So then what’s the problem?" There was that tongue again, snaking out to lap at a crumb stuck in the corner of his mouth. The muscle in Alex’s jaw worked convulsively.

"No problem at all." His hand went back to his own plate. "Just eat, please."

Mulder slouched into the back of his seat.

"Fox..."

"What?"

"Come on, don’t make me."

"You don’t have to," Mulder said in that soft, sulky voice...the one that drove Alex crazy.

"But you won’t eat if I don’t."

Mulder pushed the crumbs around in the plate. "It doesn’t taste as good..."

Alex rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and expelled a hard breath. "I swear, when you’re better I’m going to..."

Alex’s words caught in his throat as a ray of sunlight passed through one of the windows, falling across Mulder’s hair and eyes, highlighting both with the gold that was always there, dancing in the background.

"You’re going to what?"

Alex stared mutely.

Mulder waved a hand in front of his face. "You’re going to what?"

Alex sighed. "Nothing.

He reached into the plate and broke off another small piece of the muffin. Mulder smiled happily and opened his mouth.

"You’re killin’ me," Alex muttered as he fed the man beside him. Two more bites of the muffin and Mulder decided to carry the torture one step further.

"Can I have a slice of your orange?"

The corner of Alex’s mouth twitched as he hesitated then reached down into his own plate. He carried the orange slice to Mulder’s mouth, just knowing that he was up to no good.

Sure enough.

Once again his lips parted and he pushed forward, taking the whole slice into his mouth, accidentally covering part of Alex’s fingers as well. He drew back slowly, licking and suckling along the way. When he reached the middle of the slice, he bit down and pulled away the portion that remained in his mouth. Alex remained motionless, hunger blazing in his dark eyes as he watched Mulder swallow.

"Mmm. Juicy." Mulder’s gaze went to Alex’s fingers and the second half of the fruit still held between them. "It’s dripping down your hand."

Before he could respond, Mulder gently grasped his wrist and brought his mouth to the slightly trembling hand. He licked the lines of sweet moisture away from Alex’s skin, his eyes closed in sensual bliss. This was the closest he’d come to anything other than platonic physical contact in over a week and he was enjoying every second of it.

Alex moaned softly. Christ, that mouth...

Mulder closed his mouth around Krycek’s fingers and, wrapping his tongue around the remaining bit of orange, pulled it from his grip.

When his hand was freed, Krycek slumped back against his seat, trying to control the erratic pounding of his heart. "That’s it," he whispered. "You can finish the rest on your own."

"You used to be fun..."

"And I will be again," Alex promised, "just as soon as we get you straight. Now stop being such a damn tease and finish your breakfast."

Ten minutes later, Mulder had eaten all he was going to eat, and Alex summoned the attendant to clear the trays away.

"You look a little tired," he said, observing Mulder’s drooping eyelids. "Why don’t you catch some Zs?"

"What about you?"

Alex shrugged. "I think I’ll take my own advice and do the same." He skimmed Mulder’s arm. "How ‘bout it?"

"Yeah actually, I am feeling pretty sleepy."

"I’m sure. Mercilessly teasing your man will do that to you."

"Mercilessly. Come on now..."

Krycek reclined Mulder’s seat, then did the same to his own. "Shut up and go to sleep, Fox."

Mulder watched the green eyes close, then turned his head and shut his own. A soft smile played at his lips.

His man.

Well....he was...

A short, heavy-set woman watched from the doorway of the villa, as the limo wound its way up the path. The car stopped in front of the door and before the driver could walk around to it, the back door opened and a tall, handsome young man stepped out. The bright sunlight shimmered in his hair as he moved to the side and allowed the other passenger to exit the car. The second man swung his long legs out and stood up. Just as tall. Slimmer. Pale but every bit as good looking as the first.

The woman shielded deep brown eyes against the sun as she continued to observe the two men. The dark one wound and arm around the other’s waist and steered him toward the house. The woman revealed an incredibly white, gap-toothed smile.

"We’ve been expecting you," she said in her thick Bahamian accent. "Welcome."

Krycek smiled back. "You’re Marie?"

"Yes, sir."

"I’m Alex. This is Fox."

Marie’s eyes lit up. "Fox? Is that your real name, darlin’?"

Mulder took a liking to her immediately. "Afraid so."

Marie clapped her hands together and laughed. It was a deep, rich chuckle. "I think it’s a lovely name. Perfect."

Mulder lowered his eyes and smiled again.

"Come in, come in," Marie motioned with a wave of her hand.

Krycek followed Mulder into the house and looked around.

"Your home for the next two months, gentlemen. We hope it’s to your liking."

Mulder turned in a circle, taking in his surroundings. From what he could see of the downstairs, it was an open, airy floor plan. Comfortable over-stuffed furniture, large sparkling windows, from which hung long, billowy white curtains. Mulder watched, temporarily entranced by the way they danced in the warm breeze.

And there were plants. Lots of huge floor plants, adding a splash of deep color to the otherwise pale hues of the house.

Krycek leaned in and murmured in his ear. "Like it?"

"It’s beautiful. You rented this whole house just for the two of us?

"Just you and me, remember?" Krycek nuzzled the ear he was speaking into.

Mulder risked an embarrassed glance at the housekeeper who watched at a discreet distance, smiling an amused, motherly smile.

Krycek spoke again. "Why don’t you have a look around? I need to talk with Marie for a minute." He dropped a quick kiss on Mulder’s jaw, then led Marie away.

Mulder watched his lover’s slow pace, marveling at how very much at ease he seemed. He had no qualms whatsoever about his blatant displays of affection in front of the housekeeper and the driver, who had since brought their luggage into the house and was standing by the door, waiting for his next direction.

When Krycek and the woman stopped walking and began to talk, Mulder turned away and began to tentatively explore his new surroundings.

"Marie, I’m going to need some help."

"Yes, sir?"

"Yeah. First, don’t call me sir. It’s Alex. Second," He looked in the direction of the man who had meandered out onto the terrace. "We’re here for some very specific reasons. Umm...Fox hasn’t been well. He’s had it pretty rough for the last several months. He’s getting better now, but we’d decided that maybe we could speed his recovery along someplace other than home."

Marie tossed a sympathetic glance in Mulder’s direction. "I did notice an unhealthy paleness to him when you arrived. And he’s so terribly thin, poor child."

"Yeah. He’s dropped quite a bit of weight. We’ve got a lot of rebuilding to do. Not just his weight. Strength, endurance..." He hesitated. "So many things. So uh...as far as meals go, he’s still eating lightly for now. His stomach won’t tolerate anything heavy or spicy."

"Not a problem. I can plan a menu a couple of days at a time in advance. I will of course, check with you to make sure that it meets with your approval."

"Thank you."

Marie followed his gaze to the terrace. She glanced back at Krycek, noting the softness in his expression as he watched the other man.

"Don’t you worry none. We’ll fatten him up in no time." She studied Krycek for a moment then continued. "You look as though you could do with some lookin’ after, yourself."

"Me?" He smiled. "I’m fine."

"I been a mother for more years than you been alive, darlin’. I suspect that you been frettin’ so long about him, that you take no time to take care of yourself. But what good will you be to him if you take sick?"

Krycek silently considered her words.

"Why don’t you get on now? See the rest of the house and get yourselves settled? Will you be wantin’ dinner at home this evenin’?

"Uh, yeah. We’ll just be hanging out here for the next couple of days to unwind."

Marie winked. "Good idea. You go on now. See to your sweetheart."

Krycek cocked his head and gave her a curious half smile.

"Darlin’, I been around sixty-one years and if I learned one thing, it’s that love is love. Makes no nevermind who it’s between." She shook her head. "Not nearly enough love in the world. If you’re lucky enough to find it, hang on to it."

Krycek said nothing, only stared at her in silent amazement. Marie shoved him away.

"Go on with you now. Have a look around...maybe have yourselves a nap before dinner."

"Which would be at what time?"

"What time would you like it?"

Krycek shrugged. "I don’t know...six-thirty?"

"Very good." Marie gave him another wide grin and bustled away.

Krycek stared after her for a moment, then turned to join Mulder on the terrace. As he passed through the parlor, a deep voice reached his ear.

"Excuse me sir but, where would you like your bags?"

"I’m sorry Anthony, I forgot you were there. Uh...just put them in the master bedroom. Do you know where that is?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Because I have no idea."

"Up the stairs, sir. Last door on the right."

"Thanks."

As Anthony made his way up the stairs, Krycek found his way to the terrace.

Mulder leaned forward against the stucco wall and breathed in the warm salt air. Even though he wore his sunglasses, his light-sensitive eyes squinted in the glare of the early afternoon sun. He looked down at the empty beach. The sand had the appearance of pink sugar, fine and pure. Turquoise water, capped with foam, washed its edges, smoothing and flattening and making it look not entirely like the stuff in the bottom of nine year old Fox Mulder’s cereal bowl.

He smiled, hearing a very young Samantha complain as he scraped his spoon along the bottom of the bowl, gathering up the gritty sweetness.

"How come mine doesn’t make that noise, Fox?"

"Because you don’t let it sink to the bottom. You stir it around until it all melts."

He scrunched his lips up and sighed as his little sister began to pout.

"Here," he slid his bowl across the table. "You can have mine."

Smiling again, Samantha happily scratched at the remains in the bottom of her brother’s bowl.

"Earth to Mulder."

"Huh?"

Krycek smiled and leaned back against the wall. "You were a million miles away."

"Yeah, I guess."

"Was it a good place?"

Mulder nodded and turned to Krycek. "This is beautiful. I can’t believe you did this. It must have cost you a fortune."

Krycek shrugged. "I never splurge. Felt good."

"Let me help you with the expenses."

"Nope. I got it covered."

"Yeah, but Alex..."

"No." He raised a hand to Mulder’s cheek. His thumb swept back and forth. "Just shut up and let me spoil you, okay?"

Mulder opened his mouth to protest further, then thought better of it.

Krycek leaned to the left and laid a soft kiss on his mouth.

"Tired?"

"Not really."

"Want to poke around the rest of the place?"

"Sure."

For the next couple of hours they explored the house and grounds, leaving the upstairs for last. When they’d finally reached the second floor, Mulder was looking a bit weary.

"I think we could both do with a nap," Krycek suggested, reading his eyes.

They reached the last door on the right and Krycek opened it with a flourish, bowing deeply.

"Your bed chamber, my lord."

Mulder grinned and grasping a handful of dark hair, pulled Krycek up straight. "Knock it off," he said on a soft chuckle, as he entered the room and looked around. "Damn."

The bedroom was huge, done in mostly ivory, with pale accents here and there. In one corner of the room, sat a small round dining table and two overstuffed chairs, draped in ivory. In the middle of the table, there was a slim crystal vase, from which sprang three graceful, green Midori anthuriums. Several feet away, against the north wall, there was a polished teak highboy dresser. Slightly right of the center of the room, was a sitting area. The sofa and one of the two chairs, done in the familiar ivory. The odd chair was a dull celadon. The three seats surrounded an oblong coffee table, carved of the same gleaming teak. In the middle of it rested a bowl, cradling the same green anthuriums as those found on the dining table.

Mulder’s eyes traveled to the left and took in the sight of the king-sized four poster bed. Adorned with a fluffy ivory comforter and at least eight pillows in different sizes and shapes, it beckoned to his exhausted body, invitingly.

Just beyond the bed and straight out before them were two huge French doors, the frame draped with yard upon yard of sheer ivory curtains. Mulder moved to the doors. He opened them and stepped out onto the private veranda, where he found yet another small table and two chairs. He smiled, fondling one of the half dozen plants inhabiting the area and looked out to the ocean.

"Bet it’s a hell of a sunset." He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned to meet Krycek’s eye.

"Think you can take two months of this?"

He faced the ocean once more. "Yeah, I think I can suffer through it."

"Glad to hear it. I think I’ll go take a shower, I feel kinda grubby."

Mulder nuzzled his cheek. "Want some company?"

"Now why does that not sound like such a good idea?"

"Sounds good to me..."

"No, no... I can’t trust you to be good."

Mulder pulled back and stared into his eyes. "Oh, you can trust me to be good..."

"God." The word broke from Krycek’s lips in a choked whisper. "Come on, Fox. Let’s just try to unwind and relax first, okay? We’ve got two months. Let’s take it slow and easy." He could see the disappointment in Mulder’s face.

"Fine. Go take your shower. I gotta call Scully, anyway. Forgot all about it. She must be having a fit."

Krycek wanted to say something to him. But what the hell could he say? Even though Mulder knew the consequences, he was becoming more and more frustrated with each refusal and it was becoming increasingly difficult for Krycek to pacify him.

He dropped his head to Mulder’s shoulder. "I’ll be back in a few."

Not receiving an answer, he lifted his head and walked back into the bedroom and toward the bathroom, picking up one of the small bags along the way.

Mulder waited until the door closed, before he walked back into the room and picked up the phone.

"Scully."

"It’s me."

"Mulder." He could hear the relieved breath. "You forgot, didn’t you?"

"Yeah. I’m sorry. We started looking around and it completely slipped our minds."

"It’s okay. So how do you like it?"

"It’s beautiful."

"You don’t sound very enthused."

"I am, I’m just...I’m tired."

"Sound like more than just fatigue."

Sometimes he really hated that she could read him so well.

"I’m fine, Scully."

"Where’s Alex?"

"Shower."

Scully rubbed her temple. When he started with the one word answers, it was a sure bet that something was up. She decided not to pursue it. Let Alex handle it.

"Okay, Mulder. Get some rest and please, try to relax and have a good time."

"I will. I’ll call you soon."

"All right, then. Bye, Mulder."

Mulder dropped the phone back into the cradle and walked back out to the veranda.

Alex turned on the spray and stripped out of his clothes. He sighed as the cooler open air hit his screaming erection. He stepped into the shower and let the water flow over him.

"Mmmm...."

The warm water played over his cock, teasing it into greater stiffness. Unable to stand the pressure any longer, he closed his hand around the shaft and began to slowly stroke it. His eyes drifted shut as he imagined that it was his Fox’s hand wrapped lovingly around him, bringing him to that delicious state of insanity, doing things to his mind and body that only Fox could do.

In his mind’s eye, he could see his lover, soaking wet and sliding down his body. Kneeling on the cool tile, in a pool of water. Taking him into his mouth. Long fingers gently squeezing his ass, pulling him forward, coaxing him as far down his throat as he could go...

Krycek leaned forward on one hand, directly under the shower head. His other hand worked his cock faster and with firmer strokes. He bit the inside of his lip to keep himself from crying out as he came. Warm, slick fluid gushed up and flowed over his fist and down his arm. He turned and fell back against the wall, gasping for air.

As he drifted back into awareness, he felt a sharp stab at his chest. He recognized the pain as remorse. So often now, he jerked off alone in the shower and he hated it. But Fox drove him crazy, and though he always offered...hell, he practically begged Krycek to let him take care of him, he’d always refused.

"No, lisa. It’s not fair to you."

"But Alex..."

"You can’t tell me that getting me off wouldn’t turn you on."

"Well...yeah..."

"Yeah. And there’s nothing I can do about it. So you stay frustrated and unsatisfied." He shook his head. "I can’t do that to you. When we get away and you wind down and relax, we’ll try again. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

He always turned quiet after one of these conversations. Going off into a corner to lick his wounds. Krycek learned quickly to leave him alone when he got like that. He’d come out of it by himself and be all right, until the next time.

He moved back under the water and washed quickly. After he’d dried off, he pulled on a pair of white boxer briefs and a loose fitting tank top and left the bathroom. As he walked into the room, he noticed that Mulder was still on the veranda, only now he was sitting at one of the wrought-iron chairs, staring out into the water.

"All yours."

Mulder turned in the direction of the voice. His eyes quickly swept the length of Krycek’s body. He nodded and rose from the chair. Krycek stood motionless as the still brooding man brushed past him and walked into the bathroom. When he heard the soft click of the door, he walked slowly to the bed and sat down.

Soft.

He ran his hand over the comforter and spun to his feet, throwing it back and folding it neatly at the foot of the bed. He lowered himself again to the mattress and lay back against the pillows. By the time Mulder had emerged from the bathroom, he was sound asleep.

Mulder stood over his sleeping lover, dressed much the same way. Heather-gray boxer briefs and a loose gray tank. His hair fell in damp strands over his forehead and into one eye, giving him that "little boy lost" appearance that always went straight to Alex’s heart.

He hesitated for a moment then got into bed, propping himself up against the pillows. He stared down at the still figure beside him. He always felt so bad after they’d had one of these things. Yet he knew with certainty, that he’d react the same way again. As much as tried not to, every time Alex denied him, he’d shut down. He didn’t want to. He knew all too well, Alex’s concerns and he knew that his refusals were necessary, but he was so damned tired of it. He wanted Alex. He wanted to have him the way he used to. Willing and sweet. Not afraid of causing him unimaginable pain. Mulder skimmed the dark hair with the back of his hand.

And hot.

He smiled.

Jesus, this man was hot. Mulder found himself wondering sometimes, how any one person could have such a bone-jarring effect on another. One of Alex’s smoldering looks, and he was jelly. One lingering touch and he was good to go. He wanted that back. He needed it and it drove him out of his mind that he couldn’t have it. He shouldn’t take it out on Alex, though. He was just as unhappy about this as Mulder was, though infinitely more patient.

"I’m sorry, Alex," he said, so softly, even he barely heard it, but Alex’s eyes snapped open and he turned onto his back. He blinked up at Mulder.

"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Go back to sleep."

"What about you?"

To appease Krycek, Mulder slouched down into the pillows and closed his eyes, though he did not relax. And Krycek knew it. Tension radiated from him like so much steam from a hot press.

"Fox?"

"What?"

"Lie flat and turn over."

Mulder opened his eyes and looked at Krycek, who was now sitting up.

"Go on."

Never moving his eyes away from Krycek’s face, he slid flat onto his back then turned onto his stomach.

Krycek maneuvered into a more comfortable position beside him then began to massage his back and shoulders. An involuntary moan escaped Mulder’s lips.

"Close your eyes and relax," the low soothing voice said. "Let it all go."

Slowly, Mulder’s knotted muscles began to relax. As usual, he never completely unwound, but it was enough to aid in getting him to sleep.

As Mulder’s respiration slowed, Krycek continued to speak softly to him.

"That’s it, baby. Let all your troubles go. You’re with me and you’re safe. Go to sleep. I’ll be right here when you wake up. Right here. I promise you..."

Mulder’s eyes drifted open and focused on the empty space beside him. He jerked into a sitting position, eyes darting around the room.

Empty.

He looked to the spot where their bags had been left.

Only his remained.

Heart pounding, he skittered across the bed and started for the door. Before he could reach it, the bathroom door swung open and Alex stepped out. Mulder stopped short and forced himself to drag two long breaths into his lungs.

"What’s the matter?" Krycek asked, noting the trace of panic in his eyes. "Where are you going?"

"N-nowhere."

"You look a little spooked. Did it startle you to wake up in a strange place?"

"Uh..." he raked a hand through his hair. "Yeah. Y-yeah, that must be it. Um...Alex...I ...I’m sorry about before."

"S’okay."

Mulder shook his head. "When are you going to get tired of accepting my apologies?"

"All the stuff you’re going through right now is my fault. You don’t owe me any apologies and I feel guilty as hell every time you make one. Please. I wish you would stop."

"What’s done is done, Alex. You’re here and you’re trying to make it right and I accepted that. I’m supposed to be working with you, not makings things harder."

"You didn’t ask for this. I’d have to be out of my mind to think that any of this was going to be easy. You feel how you feel and there’s no need to make apologies for it."

Mulder’s eyes danced away from Krycek’s face and over to his bags. "Where’s your stuff?"

"I just finished putting it all away. I was just coming in to get yours and wake you up. Dinner is in half an hour."

"Okay. I’ll get changed."

Without another word, he grabbed one of the bags and started toward the bathroom. Krycek caught him by the arm, bringing him to a halt. The sensation from the light pressure of his fingers around Mulder’s bicep, traveled through the restrained man’s body, generating tiny shivers.

"What were you thinking?"

"When?"

"When you were heading out of the room."

The way Mulder saw it, he had three choices. Tell the truth and risk an argument or worse, hurting his feelings, lie and leave him suspicious or say nothing at all and open his non-reaction up to speculation.

He remained silent.

"You thought I’d left, didn’t you?"

More silence was Krycek’s answer.

He could have told Mulder to stop worrying. He could have said, for the hundredth time, that he would not leave him, but he knew that it would be pointless. Words were not going to do it. All he could do was keep doing what he was doing and hope that Mulder would finally, really get it.

He backed up a couple of steps, then moved in front of him. His arms went around Mulder’s back and pulled him in close.

The bag fell to the floor and Mulder’s hands slid up Krycek’s back and clenched in his shirt. He closed his eyes and released a shuddering breath as he felt a gentle hand weave through his hair and a soft mouth, planting reassuring kisses on the side of his face. He raised his head and met his lover’s eyes.

"I’ll go get dressed."

Krycek nodded and laid another kiss on the tip of his nose. He watched Mulder disappear into the bathroom, then picked up the remaining bags and walked toward the second closet.

The two men sat across from each other at opposite ends of the dining room table, separated by at least three place settings.

"If we move everything away from the middle, we can play table hockey with the salt shaker," Mulder offered.

Krycek laughed. He was in better humor. Good.

"I think Marie probably thinks that this is romantic."

Mulder rested his head against his splayed thumb and forefinger and raised his eyebrows.

"The lady is way cool."

"I guess so."

As if she’d heard her name, Marie appeared out of the kitchen with dinner, interrupting their conversation.

"All right, you two. Eat." She turned and stared pointedly at Mulder. "Especially you."

Mulder made show of looking around. He faced Marie again and pointed a finger into his chest. "Me?"

"Yes, you. If you got any thinner, you’d disappear completely."

"I’m not that thin."

"Don’t argue with me, child. Eat."

Mulder smirked at Krycek. "Yes, ma’am."

Marie gave him one of those maternal smiles and paraded out of the dining room.

Krycek waited until she was out of earshot, then leaned over his plate and spoke in a low, confidential tone.

"I think we’ve been adopted."

"I can think of worse things than being mothered for eight weeks."

Krycek displayed a flash of white teeth. "Definitely." He plucked his glass from the table and raised it. "To two months of peace and relaxation."

Mulder did the same. "To getting us back to where we were."

Each man took a small sip. Krycek spoke again. "To...patience."

Mulder countered. "To warm nights..."

"To long walks and quiet conversation."

"To...the pale moonlight reflecting in your eyes..."

A tiny smirk quivered in the corner of Krycek’s mouth. "Eat your dinner."

Deciding not to push the issue any further, Mulder turned his attention to his meal. Twenty minutes later, Krycek looked across the length of the table, at his plate and smiled.

"Hey, you did pretty well."

"It was good."

"Feel okay?"

"Yeah."

"Up for some dessert?"

Mulder chewed the corner of his lower lip. The heat of his gold-flecked stare traveled the length of the table like a fireball, hitting its target full-on. Were it not for the fact that he was already sitting, it would have knocked Krycek flat on his ass. It took him a moment to find his voice.

"Uh..." he cleared his throat. "You know...pie...chocolate pudding..."

Mulder continued to stare.

"Jello?"

Mulder’s eyes finally dropped away, letting him off the hook. "I couldn’t eat another bite."

Krycek blew out a silent breath. "How about a walk?"

Mulder looked up again, the raging fire reduced to smoldering embers.

"Sure. Why not?"

"Sky’s starting to change color." Krycek stopped and hoisted himself up onto a flat rock. "Want to watch?"

Mulder removed his sunglasses and squinted up at him. A soft smile graced his lips as he observed the child-like enthusiasm.

Krycek grinned down at him. "What?"

"You act like you’ve never seen a sunset before."

Krycek looked out to where sky met water. "It’s been years since I’ve actually had time to sit and appreciate one." His eyes darted back down to Mulder’s. "I’m willing to bet that it’s been a while for you, too."

Mulder climbed up and sat beside him. "My last memory of a sunset was when I was a kid at our summer place. I’d take Samantha out near the water to see it. It was so quiet up there. Too quiet. I got her as far away as possible, but the sound of my parents arguing, carried for quite a distance."

"Well...I hope in another twenty-five, thirty years, you can look back and remember this as being good."

Mulder fixed a soft stare on him. "How else could I remember this?"

Krycek released a satisfied sigh. His eyes cut away, back to the skyline.

Not another word was said between them as they watched the sun dip below the horizon, turning the sky and inhabiting clouds to a countless number of shades of purple and pink. When dusk had finally settled, Krycek turned back to the man sitting beside him. He breathed deeply, drinking in the shadowed beauty of him.

Awesome.

Jesus, this man was more beautiful than any man had a right to be...

Mulder sensed more than saw that he was being watched. His head turned in the direction of the stare. Curious hazel eyes locked with solemn green eyes, searching. Seeking an answer to questions that had no definitive answers. Not now.

The muscle in Krycek’s jaw flexed. He could feel the warmth of his Fox’s thigh, just a hair-breadth away from his. He felt himself falling. Sinking deeper into those eyes. He swallowed against the dryness in his throat. All he had to do was lean in a few inches. Fox would meet him the rest of the way...

His eyes flicked to that outrageously sexy mouth. He wanted that mouth in the worst way. He could spend hours on that bottom lip alone, licking. Sucking its sweet fullness into his mouth. Biting hard enough to draw those low raspy moans that he loved to hear, but not so hard as to bruise. He could never hurt these beautiful lips.

He focused again on the eyes. They seemed closer, somehow. The gold in them, brighter and more prevalent. Had he moved? He wasn’t sure. He might have. Or maybe Fox had. Maybe they both did. He blinked and backed away. He tore his eyes away and looked up at the sky.

"It’s almost dark," he said, faintly above a whisper. "You want to head back?"

The answer took a while to reach him. "No. Un-unless you want to..."

"No. No, I was j...I...I was just asking."

They sat quietly in the gathering darkness. An hour had passed before either of them spoke. Finally, it was Mulder who broke the silence.

"I’m a little tired."

Krycek rose and held a hand out to him. "Come on, then."

Mulder reached up and grasped the hand, pulling himself up. As soon as he was on his feet, he released his grip and started to move his hand away. Before he was completely out of reach, Krycek recaptured the hand. Keeping his eyes focused on Mulder’s, he interlaced their fingers and gently pulled him close. He tilted his head and laid a brief kiss along the line of the older man’s jaw. Still holding on to Mulder’s hand, he led him up the rocks and back to the house.

Mulder lay against the mass of pillows, the light sheet draped across his hips. His bare chest rose and fell slowly as he drifted into sleep. Krycek emerged from the bathroom and stopped at the edge of the bed. His eyes roamed the length of his lover’s torso, letting them drop to the sheet covered area. He idly wondered if he was wearing anything under that sheet.

He smiled.

It’d be just like Fox to be naked...just to drive him crazy.

He lifted the sheet and slid underneath. And while he was at it, he snuck a peek. Underwear. He found it unimaginable that he was actually behaving himself, but anything was possible. Maybe he was just too tired.

He leaned to his left and brushed his lips across the surface of Mulder’s hair. He slid closer and settled back against the pillows beside him. "Goodnight, lisa."

"God, I’m stuffed." Krycek caught Marie as she passed by the table. "Marie, that was fabulous."

"Glad you liked it." She looked to the other man at the opposite end of the table. "What about you, child?"

"Excellent. Thank you, Marie."

The housekeeper moved closer to investigate Mulder’s plate. She nodded approvingly. "Not bad. Not bad at all. By the time you leave here, you are going to be at least ten pounds heavier."

"Sounds like a threat."

"Take it for what you want, boy."

Marie cleared the table and left the two to themselves.

"It’s been forever since I’ve actually sat down to Thanksgiving dinner," Mulder commented.

"I know. Me too." Krycek studied him. "You probably thought that the next time you did this, it’d be with your wife and kids, huh?"

Mulder’s mouth opened slightly and turned up into some semblance of a smile. His head twitched back and forth. When finally found his voice he said, "You know, I never thought about it."

One dark eyebrow arched upward. "Never?"

He thought for a moment then, "No."

"Wow."

"You?"

Silence then, "No."

"Why not?"

"Well, first of all, not in my business, second, I never thought I’d live long enough to even consider something like that and third, I’ve spent the last several years of my life lusting after a guy."

Mulder feigned shock. "Get the hell outta here..."

Krycek raised a hand. "Swear to God."

"Holy shit. Anybody I know?"

The corner of Krycek’s mouth quivered. "I’m not sure. He’s in law enforcement of all things. Tall, gorgeous, lips that I’d kill or die for..." He suppressed the smirk he felt coming. "Eyes you could fall into and beautiful blonde hair..."

He couldn’t duck fast enough to avoid the balled-up napkin that sailed across the table. It connected with his head as he laughed helplessly.

While Mulder was looking around for something else to throw, Krycek slipped out of his chair and moved behind him. His arms encircled the seated man, securing his arms to his sides. He nuzzled the slightly rough cheek. "You know I’m kidding."

Mulder twisted his head away from the soft lips. "I know no such thing."

Soft chuckle. A hand against his cheek, turning his face into a waiting kiss. "Yes you do."

Mulder closed his eyes. The feel of his lover’s mouth skimming his cheek sparked a riot of sensation within other parts of his body. He freed an arm, reaching behind him and plunged a hand into the dark silk, intent on holding Krycek’s head where it was.

He couldn’t be sure which of them that throaty, feral moan came from but it did snap him back into reality. He’d made a promise to himself that first night, after they got back from the beach that he would stop torturing Alex and himself. It was a promise he intended to keep.

The hand in his hair released its grip, surprising Alex. Mulder dropped a quick kiss on his lips, then pulled completely away. He stood quietly startled as he watched the older man move across the room, stopping at the glass doors.

"Going to be another beautiful sunset, I think. Want to go for a walk?"

Alex gave no immediate answer. He was presently wrapped up in trying to figure out this new phase in Fox’s attitude.

For two days now, he’d been on his best behavior. No questionable comments. No smoky looks. Tonight was the closest he’d come to anything resembling a sexually motivated touch and even now, he’d reined himself in. Alex’s eyes narrowed. There was something going on in that gorgeous head but he wasn’t sure what...

"Alex?"

"Hmm?"

"Walk?"

"Yeah. Sure. Let’s go."

The next couple of weeks went fairly smoothly. On the whole, Mulder’s appetite had improved. He’d gained three pounds and his color had started to come back. His sleeping habits had also improved, though he was still plagued by the occasional dream. He’d had two since they’d arrived. The first happened their third night on the island and the second came just two nights ago.

He awoke as he usually did, clinging desperately to Alex, shaking and in pain but made no attempt to ask for release. Alex wondered why. Could it be that he was simply accepting this as part of his life or was there something else going on here? Mulder gave him no clues and when he tried to broach the subject just yesterday, it was promptly changed.

Alex glanced at his watch. Five-fifteen. Until now, they’d stuck relatively close to the house, exploring the surrounding caves and mangroves or lounging on the private beach. Today, they were going to dinner in town. Mulder’s suggestion. Krycek couldn’t hide the surprised expression when he’d brought the idea up yesterday.

"Really? Uh...yeah. Sure, that’d be great."

"Well if it’s so great," Mulder teased, "how come you hadn’t suggested it yourself?"

Krycek shrugged. "I didn’t want to push."

"I think maybe it wouldn’t hurt for you to push just a little..."

Krycek finished buttoning his shirt then stood back to check himself in the full-length mirror.

Cool and casual but not overly so, he’d chosen a pair of oatmeal colored pleated pants and a chocolate brown, raw silk shirt. The leather slip-on shoes matched the shade of the shirt almost exactly.

He turned to the left then to the right, tucking and smoothing and when he was satisfied, exited the bathroom. He walked through the bedroom and stopped just short of the French doors, observing Fox in silence.

He stood on the veranda, leaning on his forearms against the rail, giving the man behind him a rather enticing view of his rear, encased in the light-weight fabric of the black pants he wore.

Alex sucked half of his lower lip into his mouth as he advanced.

Sensing that he was no longer alone, Fox spun on his heel and came face to face with Alex.

"Scully was right."

The younger man raised a curious eyebrow.

"I should get you a bell."

Alex gave him a mock sneer then looked him up and down.

"Very nice."

Mulder shrugged. "If you slapped a jacket and tie on me, it’d look like I was ready for work."

Alex shook his head slowly. "No. This material is loose." He brought his hands up to the white silk shirt. "Touchable..." He undid two buttons, partially baring Fox’s chest, his fingers teasing the sprinkling of golden-brown hairs along the way. "Sexy."

Fox’s eyes rose to meet Alex’s. It had been quite a while since he’d seen that look. Predatory. So completely raw. Utterly Alex. He’d missed it.

Mulder wondered what would happen if he responded the way he wanted to. If he moved just half a step forward and rubbed up against him....

The familiar stir in his crotch brought him back to his senses. He backed away, maybe a bit too quickly because he could see the lust flicker and fade. Confusion tinged with a bit of regret took its place.

Alex cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair. "Ready to go?"

Mulder plucked his wallet off the bed and slipped it into his back pocket. "Ready."

As the two men made their way down the stairs and through the parlor, a deep warm voice followed them.

"Enjoy your evenin’, children."

"Thanks, Marie," they called in unison as they departed.

"Where’d this come from?" Mulder asked, walking toward the black Porsche convertible.

"The garage. It came with the package." He grinned and opened Mulder’s door. "I really didn’t think you’d be comfortable riding around in the back of a limousine all the time."

Mulder hesitated then folded himself into the low seat. "You’re right about that."

Alex shut the door and rounded the front of the car. Once inside, he turned to Mulder and smiled. "I figured."

A flick of the key and the engine roared to life. "Ohhhh, I could get used to this," Krycek murmured. "Maybe I’ll trade my car in when we get back."

Mulder chuckled. "A car freak. Wonderful."

Alex pulled out of the driveway and started down the narrow road. "Come on, you can’t tell me that this isn’t nice..."

"Of course it is. I guess I just never give a whole lot of thought to what I’m driving. All those cheap rentals and requisitions."

Alex pulled off to the side of the road and parked. Mulder watched curiously as he opened the door and got out. He motioned to the other man to do the same.

"What?"

Alex came around to the passenger’s side and threw the door open. "You drive."

"What the hell for?"

"You need to appreciate this."

"And I can’t do that from the passenger’s seat?"

"It’s not the same. Get out. Let’s go."

Mulder heaved a long sigh and switched places with Krycek. He pulled back onto the road and continued on to their destination.

"Well?" Krycek said impatiently.

"Well what?"

He cocked his head and scowled at Mulder.

"Yeah, it’s nice."

"We’re on a straightaway. Open her up."

"I said it was nice..."

"Would you just... please..."

"All right, all right." Mulder threw it into high gear and in seconds, reached a speed in excess of seventy.

"Happy?" he shouted over the roar of engine and wind.

Alex closed his eyes and threw his head back. "Aren’t you? Come on, Fox. Can’t you feel it?"

Mulder fell silent and concentrated on the loud rumble that surrounded him and the feel of barely contained power at his fingertips. He had to admit, it did have a wee bit of an erotic quality to it. And okay, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for Alex to consider trading in his car.

He smiled.

Or maybe he’d just buy his own...

It did feel good. Too good. That steady rumble beneath him was not a good thing. Ordinarily it would be, but...

Alex’s eyes flew open as he felt the car begin to slow. His head rolled to Mulder’s direction. "What are you doing?"

"Slowing down to a speed less apt to kill us."

Long sigh. "Yeah, okay....but wasn’t it cool?"

The corner of Mulder’s mouth twitched. "Yeah, Alex. It was cool."

They arrived at the restaurant windblown but in one piece and were almost immediately escorted to their outdoor table.

"Hope you don’t mind," Alex said, "but they told me that the terrace provided a spectacular view."

"No. Not at all." Mulder observed the ocean scene. "It is beautiful." He glanced at Alex who at the moment had his eyes trained on the seascape before them.

The view was beautiful but could never rival the one right before him. His eyes slid over the man across the table, marveling at the way the lengthening shadows of the coming evening touched him in all the right places, softening and caressing. The waning sunlight highlighting and illuminating and when he turned, Mulder’s breath caught in his throat. A pale orangey-yellow band of sunlight fell across his eyes, catching in them, being absorbed, giving them a warm glow all their own.

"You okay?"

Mulder blinked. "Okay?"

"Yeah. You seem like you’re somewhere else."

"No," he murmured softly. "No, I’m right here."

Before the conversation could continue, the waiter arrived with menus, took their drink orders, then departed. After he’d gone, Mulder looked around. "Not a whole lot of people," he said, noting only four other couples on the large terrace, one of which was another couple of men.

"We got what we wanted then, didn’t we? Privacy. Quiet."

Mulder nodded in agreement.

They sat quietly together enjoying their surroundings and sharing long lingering looks until the waiter returned with their drinks. Mulder gave the waiter his dinner order first and began to glance around the terrace. He hadn’t noticed it before, but there was music playing. He probably wouldn’t have taken notice now were it not for the fact that two of the couples had gotten up to dance. He focused in on the male couple, wrapped around each other, swaying in time to the music.

Krycek finished ordering and turned to watch Mulder, watching the men. Long minutes went by before he leaned across the table and spoke softly to his entranced partner.

"What do you say?"

"Hmm?"

Krycek motioned to the floor with a tiny toss of his head.

Mulder opened his mouth then closed it again, not knowing how to answer.

"Come on," Alex prodded softly.

"I don’t think so."

"Why not?"

Mulder shrugged. "I just...I don’t..." He grimaced and fell silent.

"Okay." Krycek reached out, taking his hand. "I just thought that maybe you wanted to. You seemed to be watching them so intently."

"I guess I’m just surprised. They seem so..." he struggled for the words. Krycek finished the sentence for him.

"Relaxed? Oblivious?"

"Yeah."

"This is the Bahamas. They’re much more laid back here."

"I guess so."

They went on to other subjects but every now and then, Mulder couldn’t help sneaking glances at the couple who had since returned to their table. They sat close together, laughing and touching, sharing tiny kisses and intimate whispers.

They lingered a while after dinner was finished, sipping wine until the sun completely disappeared beneath the horizon.

"How was your meal?" Krycek asked, finally weary of the silence.

"Very good."

"I wasn’t sure you liked it. You didn’t eat that much."

"No, I really liked it. It was just very filling."

Krycek drained his glass. Mulder took two more small sips of his wine, then set the glass down, pushing it away.

"Want to get going?"

"You don’t have to rush. Finish your wine."

"I’ve had enough."

"All right, then."

After Mulder won the ten minute argument over who was going to pay the bill, they left the restaurant. As they passed through the parking lot, a voice out of the darkness spun them around.

"Remember when we were that age, Jack?"

A soft chuckle followed by another voice. "Remember when we were that handsome?"

The two men from the terrace.

They leaned side by side up against a blue Cadillac, one drawing deeply on a cigarette. Mulder froze, studying them curiously. Krycek smiled and started to turn away.

"Have a nice evening, gentlemen."

"How long have you boys been together?"

He stopped and turned back. Casting a sideways glance at Mulder, he answered. "Not long."

"Weeks? Months...days?"

Krycek sighed, not knowing how to answer and wondered at the same time why he should answer at all. "Less than a year."

"Remember our first year, Jack?"

"Yeah. The newness. The excitement..."

"How long have you been together?"

Krycek turned surprised eyes to Mulder.

Jack smiled. "He speaks."

Eric stamped out his cigarette and blew a long stream of smoke out of his lungs. "Fifteen years."

"You’re still very close."

Eric nodded. "What people don’t understand is that our relationships are not much different than those of men and women. We love, too. And we certainly are capable of spending our lives with only one person." He skimmed his knuckles across Jack’s cheek. "Right, babe?"

Jack caught the other man’s hand and pressed a kiss into it. He turned his head to the young men. "You boys in love?"

Mulder and Krycek looked at each other. They’d admitted it to each other but never to anyone else. Well, besides Scully and then, it was only Krycek she’d heard the words from.

Mulder was first to answer.

"Yes."

Krycek smiled softly and ran the back of his hand down Mulder’s arm.

Eric nudged Jack’s arm. "I knew it."

"Yeah, you knew it."

"Good luck kids. Enjoy your stay on the island."

"Thanks. We will." Krycek hooked a finger around one of Mulder’s and motioned toward the car. Mulder gave the men a slight trace of a smile, then let Krycek lead him away.

Once they were on their way, Mulder settled into a pensive silence. Krycek allowed him some time to himself, then reached across the seat and covered his hand.

"Talk to me, lisa."

Mulder looked to the side, then again turned his eyes to the road. "Fifteen years."

"Long time."

Wary hazel eyes searched his face. "Do you ever think about the future?"

"Our future or the future in general?"

Mulder stared silently at him. His expression was answer enough.

"Sure. I think about it."

"Do you ever think of us in the long-term?"

Krycek squeezed his hand. "I’m here for as long as you want me."

The tone in his voice left no room for ‘what ifs’. Mulder gave a barely noticeable nod of his head, then turned his attention back to the road.

Krycek pushed the bedroom door open and let Mulder enter first. He watched from the doorway as Mulder wandered into the room and toward the French doors. He swung them open and stood there, staring out into the starlit sky.

"Another beautiful night," he observed. "This place has got to be as close to paradise as you can get."

He heard no answer, only the soft sounds of music coming from behind. The volume increased slightly and he closed his eyes.

Nice. Soulful...sexy.

He cocked his head ever so slightly as a new sound was added.

"You are... my life I have to go on Have me any way you want to..."

Singing. A smooth alto, drifting closer. Right behind him. Vibrating gently against the side of his neck...

He opened his eyes as if it would help him to confirm what he was hearing.

"Just take care and love me till my tension’s gone Cause you are my starship Come take me up tonight..."

Arms slipping around him. One at his waist, the other coming over his shoulder and down across his chest. Pulling him back against the warmth right behind him.

"And don’t be late
"Yes you are my starship
"Come take me up tonight
"And don’t be late
"And don’t you come too soon..."

His eyes slipped shut again as his body was pulled into in a slow, rhythmic sweep. Alex continued his seductive serenade for a few minutes more, then turned Mulder around to face him. His eyes, mesmerizing. His voice softly persuasive.

"Dance with me."

Not waiting for an answer, he pulled his lover into his arms and began to sway in time to the music.

Mulder trembled as he wound his arms around Alex’s neck and moved with him. Their eyes met and he lowered his head. He couldn’t look at him. Here they were, wrapped in each others arms, their bodies touching everywhere two bodies could touch, writhing against each other in perfect harmony. Looking into his eyes was just too much.

He was afraid.

Jesus, of what?

Of where this was going.

This had been such a good couple of weeks, with just a few exceptions and he was terrified of ruining it by finding out that his condition hadn’t changed.

The tightening of the material in the vicinity of his crotch told him something else.

He drew a few deep breaths and attempted to shake off the feeling.

No go.

His body tensed and he began to pull away.

"Alex..."

Krycek allowed him only a few inches distance.

"What’s wrong?"

"I don’t...I can’t..."

"Fox, listen to me. This isn’t going to go anywhere you don’t want it to go."

Mulder shook his head. "It’s not a matter of want."

"Okay. This won’t go anywhere you’re not ready for it to go."

"I’m sorry..."

"Stop. I told you about apologizing."

Mulder looked down and away.

Alex slipped a hand under his chin and lifted. He smiled reassuringly. "It’s okay. All I want to do is dance with you." He skimmed the stubble-roughened skin. "Is that all right?"

Mulder answered by melting back into him and they began to move once more. An eternity later, he spoke.

"You never told me you could sing."

The low rumble of his voice vibrated against Alex’s cheek, drawing the younger man out of the sea of sensuality he’d been immersed in. He inhaled and exhaled slowly, then answered.

"Told you I was a choirboy."

"Yeah, when you were eight."

Silence.

"Do you have any other surprises for me?"

"Maybe yes, maybe no."

"Thanks for clearing that up."

"No problem...you sound tired."

"I guess I am, a little."

Krycek stopped their rocking motion. "Let’s get some sleep, then."

Fifteen minutes later, they were settled into bed. As Krycek moved to draw Mulder into his arms, the older man stopped him. He pulled away and rolled back against the pillows. The confusion cleared from Alex’s eyes as Mulder held his arms out to him. He rolled onto his side and tucked himself against the warm length of his lover’s body. A gentle hand in his hair pulled his head down under the stubbled chin.

"You’re tired too," Mulder whispered into his hair. "You try so hard not to let it show but I can see it."

"What would I be tired from? Marie does everything."

"You do plenty."

"Like what?"

"You worry about me and I know that lately, that’s been a full time job. Stress is exhausting. I know."

"Well, I’m fine."

"Liar." He hugged Krycek to him. "All I’ve done the last few weeks is take all the comfort you’ve had to offer me. I need to give some back."

"You owe me nothing."

"How can you say that? I love you, Alex. And that brings with it a certain amount of responsibility. Or at least it should. I can’t continue to ignore your feelings and needs because I’ve got problems..."

"Problems that I caused."

"So because of that, you think that you don’t deserve my consideration? Say yes, and I’ll beat your ass."

Krycek smiled into his chest. "I don’t think that you’re capable of that quite yet."

"I’ll make that second on my ‘to do’ list."

"What’s first?"

Mulder buried his face in his lover’s hair and hugged him tighter still. "You."

Krycek quivered with silent laughter. "Let me get this straight. You’re going to do me, then beat me."

Mulder smirked into his hair. "Mmm hmm."

"Could you maybe like...reverse that?"

"Beat you then do you?"

"Makes better sense. Unless you don’t want to kiss all my boo boos and make 'em better."

"Are you kidding?"

Krycek closed his eyes and rubbed his head against the sensitive skin of Mulder’s throat. "You know, I have to admit...this does feel good. It’s been so long. I loved waking up in the middle of the night and feeling your arms around me. I’d only be awake for a few minutes but it was during those few minutes that I’d really felt that maybe I wasn’t so worthless after all..."

"Why then?"

"There’s truth in sleep." His hand traveled slowly up and down Mulder’s arm. "I fell asleep in your arms but never expected to wake up there. It’s only natural to move during the night. Nobody falls asleep and wakes up in the same position. But you never let me go. And I knew I was wanted."

Mulder laid his palm against Alex’s face and brushed his thumb back and forth across his cheekbone. "I want you to know that all the time, Alex. Not just in the middle of the night. Don’t ever doubt that I want you. All of you. Always."

Krycek shifted, releasing a tiny flutter of kisses across Mulder’s collarbone. His mouth traveled up the slender length of his lover’s throat, over his chin and finally coming to rest tenderly against the full lips. He pulled away and once again snuggled against Mulder’s chest. They lay quietly together, losing themselves in each other and the soft music that still wafted through the room. The last CD finished and there was no other sound but those of deep, peaceful sleep.

Krycek treaded water, watching entranced as Mulder’s lithe body cut gracefully, effortlessly, through the ocean. The sun danced madly on each flash of skin as he stroked smoothly, in wide circles around his stationary partner.

"Come on, we gotta get back," Krycek called without conviction. "You don’t want to lose our reservation, do you?"

Mulder had felt like a swim before they went out to dinner and as soon as they’d gotten down to the beach, he unceremoniously stripped off his shirt and plunged into the water. He’d gone out probably ten yards before turning around to find Krycek still standing on the shore.

"You coming?"

Krycek shook his head, smiling as he kicked off his topsiders and swam out to meet him.

"Race you."

"My, aren’t we feeling frisky this afternoon."

Mulder’s eyes sparkled. "Well?"

"Let’s just have a nice swim. I don’t want you to overdo it."

Mulder would not be put off. He began to swim in circles around Krycek, taunting him. "Whatsa matter? Afraid I’ll beat you?"

"Ha! I could beat you on your best day."

"Well? Put up or shut up."

Krycek snorted. "Where to?"

Mulder squinted at the shore and pointed out a particularly conspicuous formation of rocks. "To there and back. Ready?"

"Whoa! Hang on, now." Krycek grinned. "Care to make it interesting?"

Mulder cocked his head. "What’d you have in mind?"

"Nothing too unreasonable. Loser makes the winner breakfast in bed for a week."

"Fine. I’ll give you my order later."

"Oh, Fox. My poor beautiful, delusional Fox. This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you."

"That’s sweet. Are you ready?"

"Let’s go."

Krycek was a good swimmer. Excellent, in fact. He gave the older man a run for his money, but it was Mulder who won, beating him by at least four lengths.

Laughter greeted him as he reached the point from which they’d started.

"Well.....let’s see now...." Mulder began to backstroke around Krycek, grinning triumphantly. "Tomorrow, I’d like...uhhhhh....pineapple pancakes, I think."

"I let you win."

"Bullshit. Bacon...crisp, but not burnt....fresh squeezed orange juice..."

"I was just trying to build your confidence."

"Uh huh. Right. Admit it. You couldn’t beat me." He turned over and continued to swim around Krycek. "On Thursday....French toast. I like it sweet and a little on the dry side. I hate it when it’s soggy..."

"How long are you going to gloat?"

"I don’t know. A while, probably....ham. Thinly sliced...fried..."

"You’re supposed to be gracious in victory."

"I thought I was. I could make you serve me wearing nothing but a G-string..." He stopped swimming and stared off into the distance. "Hmm."

He arched and disappeared beneath the surface, leaving Krycek to contemplate the meaning of that ‘hmm’. While he was wondering, he felt something brush the back of his shin. By the time he’d turned around, it was gone.

Not it. Him.

Another brush. Higher this time, right across the small of his back. Krycek smiled and turned again.

Nothing.

"You gotta surface sometime," he shouted at the water. "I’ll j..." He groaned. The latest contact came across the front of his thighs. Dangerously close to his crotch. "Come on, now..."

The swish as Mulder surfaced behind Krycek was swallowed in the continuous crash of the ocean. One arm clamped around his chest and the other around his neck, catching him by surprise and dragging him backward.

"Shit!" He ceased his initial struggle for balance and relaxed, letting Mulder pull him along.

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

"Scare me? Well, if you consider taking ten years off a guy’s life scaring him, then yeah. You scared me."

"You knew it was me..."

"I never expected that you were going to grab me like that."

Cool, wet lips grazed his cheek. He winced and groaned softly, feeling Mulder’s teeth close around his earlobe. He tugged gently at the ear then released it and Krycek. He glided away and began to swim in circle around him.

"Dinner, Fox..."

"Okay, okay. Two more minutes."

Krycek waited patiently, thankful for the seemingly dramatic change in Mulder’s mood. He’d been in relatively good humor lately but today was exceptional. He’d never seen him more relaxed and he’d be damned if he was going to do anything to spoil his playful mood.

Finally, after executing a few lazy circles around his patient lover, Mulder started swimming in a straight line for the shore.

"Come on," he called to Krycek. "Do you want to lose our reservation?"

Krycek tipped his head up and blinked into the sun. "Didn’t I just say that a little while ago?" He swam to catch up to Mulder, who was already halfway to shore.

"...and on Thursday, banana walnut muffins...from scratch..."

Krycek closed the bedroom door behind them as they entered. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

Mulder spun to face him, eyes sparkling. "Very much."

Krycek made a faint rasping sound in the back of his throat and walked to his closet. "I’m going to take a shower," he announced as he pulled out a shirt and pair of pants. Before he could close the door a pair of arms imprisoned him and warm breath fanned his ear. The seductively low voice closed his eyes and brought a smile to his face.

"That was nice."

"Yeah, I’ll bet it was."

Soft chuckle. "I don’t mean because I beat you. Well...that was fun but it’s not what I meant. I just had a good time in general."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hmm."

Krycek caressed the arm across his chest. "Good. Well...I’d better get into the shower." He paused, hoping to hear an offer to join him but none was forthcoming. He untangled himself from Mulder’s embrace and went into the bathroom. Had he turned around, he wouldn’t have missed the devious grin on the other man’s face.

Alex entered the bathroom and closed the door, leaning against it.

Didn’t Fox realize what the hell he was doing? Couldn’t he feel the rapid pounding of the heart beneath his hand? Didn’t he know the amount of damage he caused when he spoke in that tone? He couldn’t know or he wouldn’t do it...would he? He drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

Time to hit the shower.

Mulder listened at the door, waiting to hear the shower go on. When it did, he waited a few minutes more, then eased the door open and peeked inside. A quick glance at the opaque shower door told him that Alex was inside. He slipped into the room, pulling his shirt over his head. As his hand moved to the button of his shorts, he looked back toward the shower door. The smile fell from his face as he got a better look at Alex’s profile. He was leaning against the wall of the shower, head thrown back as his hand worked quickly and steadily on his erect cock.

Mulder stood frozen for a moment, trying to swallow past the lump that had suddenly risen to his throat. The small gasp he heard above the running water spurred him into action. He picked his shirt up and quietly left the room.

Back in the bedroom once more, he slipped the shirt on and went out to the veranda. He sat heavily in one of the two chairs, his mind racing in a dozen different directions at once.

"Fox?"

Mulder’s head jerked in the direction of the voice coming from right behind him. Krycek smiled and laid a hand on his shoulder. The smile was replaced by a look of curiosity as he felt the muscles tighten beneath his hand.

"What’s up?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing," Krycek repeated. "That look on your face tells me that it’s something."

He stood and faced Krycek, trying his level best to look nonchalant. "I’m fine. Really."

Krycek studied him, not believing his words for a second.

"I’d better go get ready." Without another word, Mulder brushed by him and headed for the bathroom.

Krycek stared after him completely mystified.

Still pondering that question, he started to get dressed.

Mulder appeared twenty minutes later, gorgeous as usual, but still looking very much troubled.

"We’d uh, better get going," Krycek said softly.

"I’m ready."

"We don’t have to go if you don’t feel up to it, you know."

"I told you, I’m fine. Besides, the reservations are made."

"It doesn’t matter about the reservations."

"I want to go, okay? Come on." Without any more conversation, they left for the restaurant.

Alex looked around the dining room. "This is nice, huh?"

"Yeah." Mulder stared down into his wine glass.

Krycek chewed his bottom lip for a moment then reached across the small table, covering Mulder’s hand with his own.

"Baby, tell me what’s wrong. What happened between the time I went in to the shower and the time I got out?"

"Nothing."

"How can you expect me to believe that?"

Mulder shrugged and lifted the glass to his lips.

"Lisa..."

"Leave it alone okay, Alex?"

There was no anger in his voice, just a kind of sadness that disturbed Krycek more than any irritation would have.

He released Mulder’s hand. "Okay. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bug you, I’m just worried, that’s all."

"There’s nothing for you to be worried about. Everything’s fine."

Krycek pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel the beginnings of a throbbing headache.

Christ.

How could such a wonderful, promising day turn around so quickly?

"Oh my God. Nicole, you should see the two guys in the other dining room. They’re gorgeous!"

"Yeah?"

"Shit, yeah! Go look!"

"What am I supposed to do, Deb? Just walk in there, gawk at them, then walk back?"

"No! Go to the ladies room, stay in there a minute, then come back."

"Nah."

"Come on, Nic! You gotta see them!"

"Okay, okay. I suppose you won’t leave me alone till I do."

The young woman was gone nearly ten minutes before her companion saw her returning, hand raised to her chest.

"My, my, my."

Deb laughed. "Let’s get 'em before somebody else does. Which one do you want? I’ll let you pick, 'cause I just can’t make up my mind."

"Sorry, kid. They’re attached."

"Damn! There are women with them, now?"

"No."

"So who are they attached to?"

"Each other."

"You’re kidding. How do you know?"

"I know."

"How do you know? Where they kissing?"

"No."

"Holding hands?"

"Nope."

"So?"

"Okay. The one with the lighter hair is picking at his food and brooding. And the dark one is really concerned."

Deb stared at her. "And from that, you’re assuming that they’re a couple?"

Nicole nodded. "Since when does a guy friend care so much about whether or not his buddy is eating?"

"If you were upset about something and had no appetite, I’d care."

"We’re women. I’m not saying that guys might not be concerned. It’s possible. But the look on the dark one’s face... Trust me. It’s more than buddy-buddy."

Deb sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Wish I could say I wasn’t."

"Damn."

Krycek watched as Mulder pushed the food around on his plate. "Do you feel okay?"

Mulder managed a weak smile. "Yeah. Just not very hungry, I guess."

Krycek grinned. "Trying to get me to feed you, again?"

"No."

"Well...if you don’t eat tonight, I guess I’m in for a lot of cooking tomorrow morning."

Mulder shook his head. "Forget about that."

"Nooo, no. A bet’s a bet. I lost...much as it pains me to say it, and I intend to honor our bet."

Mulder knew that if he said any more, Krycek would end up right back on the ‘what’s the matter’ thing, so he elected to keep quiet.

That quiet continued on the drive home. Not until they entered the house, did Mulder finally speak.

"You know, I’m exhausted. I think I’ll go up to bed."

Krycek set the keys down on an end table and looked up at him. "Do you want to be alone?"

Mulder blinked. "Uh...I didn’t....I....it’s just that it’s early and I didn’t think that you’d want to turn in right now."

Krycek nodded. "Yeah. You’re uh...you’re right. You go on. I’ll be up later."

Mulder’s eyes cut away and he proceeded up the stairs to the second floor.

Krycek watched his ascent then dropped onto the sofa, pressing his knuckles to his temples and rubbing in small, firm circles.

Upstairs, Mulder stripped and fell into bed. He stared up at the ceiling, his mind screaming at him.

Fifteen minutes later, he gave up the one-way argument and fell into an uneasy sleep.

Krycek stirred. A faint sound drew him out of sleep and into semi-consciousness. As he began to blink, another sound brought him upright on the sofa, where he’d fallen asleep. He shook off the heaviness and bolted for the stairs.

As he reached the last door on the right, Mulder’s voice, pleading and desperate, sounded from within the room.

He threw the door open and ran to the bed, where Mulder was twisting and sobbing his name.

"Fox." He shook Mulder gently. "Fox! Wake up." He tapped the stubbled cheek with his palm. "Come on. Wake up!"

Mulder’s eyes opened and stared up into Alex’s shadowed face. He turned away, trembling violently.

"Fox," Krycek’s voice softened as he lay behind the shaking man and tucked an arm around his chest. "I’m here. It’s okay. Everything’s okay. Take a deep breath and try to relax. Does it hurt much?"

"Do you care?" Mulder ground out between clenched teeth.

"You know I do. Why would you ask me that?"

Mulder gave no response. He buried his face into the pillows and drew his knees up.

Krycek released a soft hiss of breath and kissed the back of Mulder’s neck. Then the curve of his shoulder. The muscle quivered beneath his touch.

"Don’t."

A rasping plea so soft, he almost hadn’t heard it.

"Don’t what? Don’t try to make you feel better? Don’t show you that I love you? Sorry. Can’t do it. You don’t want me so close to you?" His hand slid up and down Mulder’s arm. "You don’t want me to touch you? Tell me. Push me away."

Mulder didn’t move. He didn’t speak. The only sound that came from him was a deep, distressed wheeze. Krycek hesitated a few seconds more, then dropped the softest of kisses into his hair. "If there was anything I could do to make this go away," he whispered, "you have to know that I’d do it."

Still nothing.

"You had the dream again because of something that happened this afternoon, didn’t you? Things had been so good until then. You were eating. The dreams had stopped. I even thought that maybe...well..."

Mulder turned his head. The dim moonlight illuminated his face just enough so that Krycek could see the pain still etched in his features.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"I’m not disappointed..."

"No. Why should you be?"

"What does that mean?"

Silence.

He could feel his headache coming back. Worse than before, yet he knew it couldn’t compare to the pain that his Fox was suffering. He shifted higher against the pillows, pulling the tense, prone body back against his. He stroked the golden-brown hair again and again, half expecting some sort of protest but received none.

"Relax, baby. Try to go back to sleep. You’ll feel better in the morning." He wasn’t sure he believed that but at this point, he was at a total loss for anything else to say. He continued to caress Mulder’s heated skin and speak soothing words to him until he finally fell asleep. Even after his respiration slowed and his body stopped trembling, Krycek continued to lightly massage his arm and chest. The action was no longer for Mulder, but for himself. He needed the closeness and comfort. He needed to feel that things hadn’t gone as downhill as they seemed to have done, even if just for tonight. He curled himself tightly around his sleeping Fox and closed his eyes.

Mulder opened his eyes and sniffed at the subtle odor that wafted by his nose.

Pancakes. Pineapple to be exact.

Just as he was sitting up, Alex entered the room with a large tray. He looked shyly at Mulder.

"Morning."

"You didn’t have to do this. I told you..."

"I wanted to. How do you feel?"

"Okay."

"Hungry?"

"Smells good. Let me just go brush my teeth, at least. Be right back."

Krycek waited patiently until Mulder returned five minutes later. As he headed for the table, Alex’s voice stopped him.

"I believe that the bet was breakfast in bed."

Mulder turned around without argument and slipped back under the sheet. Krycek placed the tray down in front of him, the legs straddling his thighs. He removed the silver lid from the dish and handed Mulder a forest green napkin. He took the linen cloth and dropped it into his lap.

Krycek watched as the first forkful went into his mouth.

"Good?"

"Yeah. Thank you. Did you eat?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Just wasn’t hungry."

"You wouldn’t appreciate it if I didn’t want to eat..." He cut into the huge stack of pancakes and held the fork out the Krycek.

His eyes never leaving Mulder’s, Krycek leaned forward and opened his mouth. Mulder placed the fork into his mouth and withdrew as his lips closed around it. He chewed slowly and swallowed as Mulder ate some more.

"Fox?"

"Hmm?"

Krycek hesitated, not entirely sure that he should ask.

"What?"

"Are....are we okay?"

Mulder blinked twice and looked down at his plate. "I’m sorry about yesterday."

"Sorry about what? Tell me what it was that got you so upset in the first place."

Mulder shook his head. "Can we just drop it? Just chalk it up to me being foolish and let it go at that."

Ah, if only he could. Krycek pushed the issue, much to the protestations of the little voice in the back of his head.

"But what do you think you were being foolish about? I don’t understand."

Mulder set his fork down. "Forget it, Alex. Please."

"I don’t know that I can. You were upset. Enough to trigger another dream. I want to see those dreams gone for good. I want you to be at peace. How can I help you if I don’t know what’s wrong?"

"Maybe you can’t help me with everything. Stop knocking yourself out trying."

He was irritated again. Alex could hear it in his voice and immediately backed off.

"Okay. I’m sorry." He covered Mulder’s hand. "I’m sorry. Finish your breakfast."

Mulder took one more bite, then pushed the tray away. "I’m not hungry anymore. I’m sorry you went to so much trouble."

Alex hesitated, staring down at his own hand, gathering and twisting bits of ivory sheet. "It’s okay," he said softly, then rose to clear away the tray. Once Alex was gone, he threw himself back against the pillows and swore aloud.

"Fuck!"

He threw the sheet off and stormed off in the direction of the bathroom.

Mulder stared out at the beach, straining to see. The light of the almost full moon, bright though it was, didn’t afford him much illumination.

Where the hell was he?

Alex had gone out for a walk two hours ago and had yet to return.

Mulder groaned. When Alex made the announcement after dinner, he’d gotten the distinct impression that he wanted to be alone. He couldn’t blame him. They’d spent the day in one of two ways. In silence or apart.

It was insane.

Mulder knew that all he had to do was go to Alex and put his arms around him. Apologize sincerely for his behavior...then explain said behavior. Not a difficult thing to do. It was damn easy, in fact.

So why couldn’t he do it?

And now Alex was gone. Off for a walk. Alone. For two hours.

Mulder spun around and stalked out of the room.

Alex sat against the rocks, hidden from view. Mulder almost walked right by him, but the sensation of his presence was strong. Mulder stopped and turned slowly, peering into the near darkness. He stopped as he caught sight of the dark figure sitting silently, about eight feet away.

"Where you just going to let me walk right by you?"

Krycek answered his question with a question.

"What are you doing out here? I thought you’d be asleep by now."

"I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing that you were still out here. What are you doing?"

"Sitting. Listening to the ocean. Thinking."

"About?"

"Us. This." His eyes glistened in the moonlight. "I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried so hard and still I’ve failed."

Mulder shook his head. "You haven’t failed..."

"Of course I have. Look at us. We’re not happy. Yeah, we had a few good days, but what does that mean after a couple of days like yesterday and today?"

"It means that I’m an impossible mess. And it’s not your fault. You have tried. You’ve made a superhuman effort and I’ve sabotaged that effort at every turn. What can you do if I won’t help you?" He walked over to Alex and sank down into the sand beside him. "I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to throw in the towel and hop a plane back to the states tomorrow."

"I thought about it," Krycek answered honestly.

Mulder cast his eyes downward. "Have you made a decision?"

"That’s what I was thinking about when you got here."

"And?"

"I vowed that I wouldn’t leave your side. That I’d do whatever I had to, to put this right....but I don’t know what else to do. I think I’ve tried just about everything and still, when all is said and done, I’ve gotten nowhere."

"You don’t have keep that vow, Alex. If you’ve had enough, and I wouldn’t blame you if you have, we can stop this. I hate thinking that you’re unhappy here with me but you’re just hanging around because of some promise you refuse to break."

"Fox...you’re the reason I’ve stayed. Did you forget that? The promises I’ve made, the things I’ve done...they’re all because I love you."

"And look what it’s gotten you. Nothing but misery."

Krycek shook his head. "Because you won’t talk to me. I can handle all the rest of it. We can get through it together if only you’d open up your mouth and talk to me."

Mulder picked his head up and met the tired green eyes.

"I’m begging you, Fox. Trust me enough to tell me what you’re afraid of. I’ll help you work through it. You just have to let me."

Mulder lowered his eyes.

"Why are you so afraid to tell me? What do you think is going to happen?"

"I don’t know."

"The only times you’ve ever expressed your fears about me leaving you, you’ve been under extreme stress. Anytime I’ve ever tried to initiate a regular conversation with you about it, you shut down. I’ve tried in every way I know how to let you know that I’m here to stay. Why doesn’t it sink in?"

Mulder sat quietly for a moment, gathering his thoughts. Then, "I...haven’t had many personal relationships. Outside of my family and Scully, I’ve only had one other."

"Phoebe Greene."

Mulder raised his eyes to Krycek’s face. The other man lifted one shoulder and let it drop.

"Anyway, it was a disaster. All she wanted was to play with my head. After her, I smartened up. No more relationships. Not that kind. I never again allowed myself to get close to anyone. To trust or become emotionally dependent on anyone, until a few months ago. I never thought I’d take to it so readily, but I did. And when you were gone so suddenly from my life, I couldn’t handle it. I’m like an addict Alex, and you’re my fix. Scully kept telling me that I needed to get over you but it was so much easier said than done. I’d do okay for a short while then something would happen to make me think of you and I’d be gone again. I tried telling myself that needing someone as much as I needed you couldn’t be good. I’d fallen into such a deep depression that Scully was actually afraid I wasn’t going to make it." He stared out into the darkness. "Sometimes, in a particularly weak moment, I’d wish that I wouldn’t."

Krycek’s eyes closed. His jaw worked convulsively.

"It was frightening sometimes, needing you the way I did. Missing you. I felt so out of control..."

Alex interrupted. "...The way you did?"

Mulder regarded him. His eyes glowed softly in this light. He corrected his statement. "Do. I do need you, Alex."

"But?"

"But...I’m afraid. I’m afraid of needing you too much. If you left me....I couldn’t...I couldn’t go through that again..."

"Fox, I’m not going anywhere."

"You were just thinking about it..."

"Right. I was thinking. Just thinking."

"But you could decide..."

Krycek rose suddenly and stalked back and forth. "How many goddamn times do I have to say it?" He turned away and shouted into the night. "I’m not going to leave you!"

Mulder got his feet as well. "You wanted to know how I felt, remember? This is how I feel! I can’t help it. If you can’t deal with that, I’m sorry. Believe me, I’d really prefer not to feel this way!"

Krycek spun around. "What were you upset about yesterday?"

Mulder’s anger seeped away. "Haven’t you heard enough?"

"No! I want all of it!"

No answer.

Krycek advanced and grabbed Mulder’s shoulders. His fingers bit into the soft skin.

"Tell me!"

"I saw you in the shower!"

Krycek blinked, unable for a moment to respond. Mulder went on.

"Yesterday was a good day. I felt strong and relaxed. And I had every intention of surprising you in the shower. I snuck in a few minutes after you’d gone in and I saw you in there, against the wall...jerking off."

Krycek’s hands slipped away from Mulder’s shoulders and hung limply at his sides.

"I would beg you Alex, to let me...but you wouldn’t. I was always disappointed but I tried to understand that you were just concerned about me. I never gave any thought to the fact that you must have been taking care of yourself and when I saw you yesterday, it just...it threw me. I felt so completely useless. So unnecessary."

"That’s not true..."

"Maybe not, but it’s how I felt. I knew it was unreasonable and I was trying to deal with it myself. You didn’t need any more to worry about."

"Do you still feel that way?"

"What way?"

"Unnecessary."

Mulder looked down at the sand between them and shrugged. "I’m trying..."

Krycek stepped forward until their bodies were about as close as they could be without touching.

"Listen to me. You are not useless, unnecessary or anything else along those lines. You couldn’t be more necessary. Don’t you know that you’re the center of my world and that I was just as miserable as you were while we were apart? You were all there was between me and the barrel of my gun. If you had died, I wouldn’t have stayed. There wouldn’t be anything left to stay for. It..." his eyes filled with tears. "...it hurt so much." He swiped at one eye with the back of his hand. "Don’t you see? Once I had you back, how could I ever dream of leaving you?"

Mulder leaned forward a fraction then stopped. Alex stood motionless, gasping soft, ragged breaths. He sucked the last one in and held it as he felt his Fox’s lips against his face, kissing a tear away as it rolled down over his cheekbone.

Alex brought his hands up, curling his fingers in Mulder’s shirt and rested his forehead against his shoulder. He uttered a broken, last-ditch, desperate plea.

"Please...please, can’t we fix this?"

Mulder wrapped his arms around Alex and pulled him closer. "I want to. God knows I do. I know I haven’t acted like it at times."

Krycek lifted his head from Mulder’s shoulder and sniffed. "Do you think you can give me your complete trust?"

Mulder studied him for a brief moment before nodding.

"Are you sure?"

"...Yeah."

Cautiously, Alex leaned forward and touched his lips to Mulder’s. He pulled away almost immediately and waited. His eyelids drooped as fingertips, feather light, whispered across his bottom lip. He forced himself to refocus on the turbulent hazel eyes that watched him so intently.

"I’m..." he stopped to clear his throat. "I’m sorry about yesterday. Please believe that I would much rather have your hands on me..."

Mulder’s fingers left Alex’s mouth, sweeping down the length of his throat and coming to rest at the opening of his shirt. He traced small lazy designs there, teasing the sparse dark hairs that peeked above the midnight blue silk.

"Like this?"

Krycek nodded, unable to speak. Christ, he really could do with a glass of water about now.

Their eyes met and locked. Mulder moved in, not closing his eyes until his lips gently covered Krycek’s. The low moan that vibrated against his mouth, encouraged him to deepen the kiss. Krycek opened himself to it eagerly, his tongue meeting the one that had just slipped inside.

Mulder teased the warm interior for a few seconds more, then withdrew and kissed his lover’s chin. The hand that was still stroking the small patch of exposed skin, dropped down to the buttons of Alex’s shirt, undoing them slowly. When he’d reached the last visible button, he began to pull the shirt free of Alex’s pants. Once he’d unfastened the remaining buttons, he slipped the shirt over the lean shoulders and let it drape down his back.

Alex flinched, groaning harshly as he felt that tongue again, sliding through his chest hair and over to an already tight, brown nipple.

"My God..."

His fingers wove through the golden brown hair and he lowered his face to it, nuzzling the silky strands. A gentle nip and pull on the hard little peak just about sent him over the edge. His fingers clenched reflexively and a coarse gasp escaped his throat. His head was swimming. His body began to scream its need. His conscience...his fucking conscience shouted to him, trying to be heard above the din.

Alex felt like a cartoon character, sure that if he opened his eyes, he’d find a tiny little Alex, complete with pitchfork and horns, sitting on his shoulder.

Just as his mind was clearing, Alex felt himself being turned and backed against the rocks. The pop of the button at the waistband of his pants, forced a decision.

"Baby..."

Mulder paused, hand at the zipper. Reading Alex’s expression, he leaned forward taking his mouth again, this time with an unrestrained hunger. Making his intention well known, daring and at the same time pleading for submission.

Krycek wrapped his arms around his lover, his acquiescent sigh devoured by the mouth that refused to release him until it drank in yet another soft moan.

"I’m tired of being careful, Alex. I’m sick of us tip toeing around this." He gripped the zipper and drew it downward. "I’ve missed touching you." He separated the material and brushed his knuckles against the hardness behind it. "I need to feel you in my hand..."

Alex inhaled sharply as the other man slipped the pants and underwear over his slim hips and let them drop to the ground. Mulder’s hand gently cradled his pulsing cock, stroking slowly along the velvety shaft.

"You’re so hard," Mulder whispered, squeezing him gently. "Did I do this?"

"You know you did. Jesus Fox, just the thought of you does this."

While one hand teased Krycek’s rigid cock, the other threaded through his hair, grasping the strands and pulling his head back. Starting at the base of his throat, Mulder licked a long, straight line all the way up to his chin.

"Mmmmmm......"

The rest of Krycek’s moan was lost in another kiss. Tender, slow and seductive. Fanning the flames of lust, taking him past the point of rationality and straight into madness.

Finally, Mulder released his mouth and slid back down his throat, planting tiny kisses along the way. He continued his descent and zigzagging to a nipple, pulled it into his mouth and tugged.

Krycek arched against his mouth and whimpered impatiently.

Feeling more than a little anxious himself, Mulder continued his downward journey. He sank to his knees in the sand, kissing and licking the smooth skin of his lover’s stomach and hips, coming close to but never touching the rock solid erection that bobbed so temptingly before him. Summoning every last bit of restraint, he moved down to the muscular thighs.

Krycek yelped, not so much in pain but surprise, as he felt Mulder’s teeth nip at the sensitive skin of his inner thigh. The cry faded into a moan when the teeth were replaced by a warm, wet tongue, soothing and caressing...teasing. Moving steadily upward. He sucked in his breath, waiting.

Mulder nuzzled the heavy sac below Alex’s cock, letting the fuzz tickle the tip of his tongue. Alex threw his head back and opened his mouth on a silent gasp. This was just too good. It was just too...

Before he could finish his thought, Mulder’s lips closed around the head of his cock, sucking and licking greedily at the leaking tip.

Alex Krycek had never passed out before in his life, but had he not had the rocks behind him for support, he would most assuredly have dropped to the ground. He wound his fingers in Mulder’s hair and thrust deeper into the welcoming heat of his mouth. A drawn out moan vibrated against the shaft, making him even harder, if that was at all possible.

"Moy lisa. God, that mouth is magic..."

Mulder gripped his hips and pulled him closer, taking his length as far down his throat as it would go. He pushed Krycek back about halfway, then pulled him forward again, encouraging him to thrust on his own.

Krycek complied eagerly, rocking his hips back and forth in ever quickening strokes.

Mulder knew that from the increasing speed of his movements and noticeable change in his respiration, Alex wouldn’t last much longer. He tightened the muscles in his arms, bringing Krycek to a very abrupt halt.

"Fox...what...no. Please."

Mulder released Alex from his mouth and rose to his feet. He placed a hand at the back of the younger man’s head and tilted it forward. Alex opened his eyes and met the amber blaze that raged before him.

Without a word, Mulder’s hand went to the buttons of his own shirt. He backed away slowly, undoing the buttons at the same maddening pace. Krycek watched for a few seconds, praying that this was no dream. He stepped out of the pants that were still pooled around his feet and moved forward. His eyes never leaving his lover’s, he practically ripped his own shirt off as he stalked his prey.

He caught up to Mulder just as the shirt was dropping from the other man’s body. An arm around the slim waist, jerking forward and Mulder practically fell against his chest. He moved to take those sinfully full lips but Mulder avoided the kiss, drawing a frustrated moan from him. Mulder leaned in, brushing a soft kiss along the line of his jaw, then gently pushed him away. Alex watched hungrily as his hands dropped to the waistband of his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping.

Green and gold glittered in the pale light of the moon as the remainder of Mulder’s clothing was removed and kicked away.

Alex’s eyes raked over the length of the body just a few feet before him. The exercise and Marie’s cooking had begun to pay off. Mulder was filling out, gaining mass and muscle and not an ounce of it was lost on his lover.

Mulder stood quietly, bathed in shadow and dim light. His gaze slipped away then back up, through the veil of thick brown lashes. He was backing down. Turning control over to Alex.

The other man understood and responded to the submissive action, closing the short distance between them in a few long strides.

A loud gasp. From one or possibly both men, as they came together. Skin against skin, pressing, sharing heat and hardness.

Mulder clung trembling to Alex as his hands knowingly traveled the familiar paths of the body he loved so much. "You are beautiful," Alex whispered against his ear, as his hands took a downward turn, following the line of his back to the delicious dip just before the gentle outward curve of his backside.

Mulder groaned into Alex’s shoulder as he was pulled closer. Held immobile as his lover’s hips ground into his.

"Alex...oh Jesus, Alex..."

"Sshhhhh." Alex stroked his hair with one hand. He kissed Mulder’s ear then murmured into it.

"On your knees."

Mulder lifted his head from Krycek’s shoulder and looked into the glittering darkness of his eyes.

A command.

Issued gently, but a command nonetheless. And the businesslike look in his eyes left no room for debate. Not that Mulder had the desire to do anything of the kind. He kneeled obediently in the sand and waited, head tilted at a slight downward angle.

Alex slipped a hand under his chin and lifted. He stroked the stubble-roughened skin there, with the tips of his fingers then moved to Mulder’s cheek, doing the same with the back of his hand. He walked in a half circle, sliding his knuckles across the trembling lower lip. He came to a stop when he was directly behind the kneeling man.

Mulder swallowed hard, anticipating...what? What was he doing?

Krycek read his thoughts and moved forward, straddling Mulder’s calves. He slid his palms over his shoulders and down his chest, coming together briefly to feel the thundering heartbeat. He continued on, scraping his nails lightly against the flat nipples, urging them into tighter buds.

Mulder inhaled deeply as Alex moved closer still, letting his cock brush firmly between his shoulder blades. His own erection throbbed, the increasing ache becoming more and more difficult to ignore. He was going to be in some serious agony later, but being here like this with Alex was worth it.

Krycek slid to his knees behind Mulder and wrapped one arm around his chest while his other hand cupped his lover’s chin, tilting his head back. Mulder pushed back instinctively, against the hardness that teased him. He choked back a sob as Alex’s hand momentarily left his face to help guide his cock between the rounded cheeks of his ass. Alex’s hand returned once again, tipping Mulder’s head back to his shoulder.

Mulder grasped Krycek’s forearm with both hands, his fingers digging into the tanned skin. His breaths came in short, panting gasps.

Alex nipped at the tender skin of his neck, working his way up to and stopping at his ear. His hand held Mulder’s head still while he expertly tongued the sensitive interior.

"Alex..." Mulder shook all over. "Please..."

"Shh, shh, shhhhhh. Listen to me, lisa." Krycek’s hand swept slowly, up and down Mulder’s chest. "Do you hear me?"

Mulder nodded.

Krycek pushed against him, wedging his cock tighter into the fleshy crevice and releasing a flood of new whimpers and moans.

"Shhh. Easy. You’re too tense. I need you to relax. Can you do that for me?"

"I don’t...don’t know. It’s s...so hard."

Krycek kissed the side of Mulder’s neck and pulled away. Supporting the older man’s quivering body, he eased him down onto his back, then stretched out beside him in the sand. He draped one long leg over Mulder’s hips, his knee pressed snugly against the base of his cock.

Mulder gritted his teeth and, letting his head roll to the side, closed his eyes. The next thing he felt was Alex’s hand on his face. His thumb swept back and forth along the tight jaw.

"You’re not relaxing. Come on, let the tension drain out of your body. Breathe slowly and concentrate on my voice. Breathe, Fox...that’s right. Follow my voice. Hear only me." Krycek caressed his forehead. "Feel only me. You fear nothing. The world is yours." He bowed his head, brushing his lips against Mulder’s flushed cheek. "I’m yours. Always. Nothing will separate us. Say it."

Mulder opened his eyes and turned them to the man hovering above him. He repeated the words as if in a trance. "Nothing will separate us."

"Believe it." Alex kissed the corner of his Fox’s mouth. "This is your world. You can do anything. You can have anything."

Mulder stared up at him, mesmerized.

"Is there something you want?"

He nodded slowly.

Krycek held his eyes. "Take it."

Mulder reached up and, threading his fingers through the dark hair, pulled Krycek down to his waiting lips. The younger man melted into his lover’s kiss, surrendering his will and body.

Taking the lead, Mulder rolled Alex beneath him. He covered the sweet mouth once more, muffling the soft grunt emitted from the constricted throat. An eternity later, Mulder broke the kiss and moved down the lithe body, scattering tiny kisses along the way.

Alex writhed and moaned, conveying his need with perfect clarity. His hips jerked upward and Mulder’s name ripped from his throat as his lover unceremoniously sucked the complete length of his cock into his mouth.

Mulder maintained suction, prolonging the unbearable pressure until he was sure that Alex could take no more. He picked his head up slowly, flicking at the underside with the tip of his tongue then focused on the head, swirling his tongue around it, again and again. He paused abruptly, smiling. Hmm. That was different. Alex arched against his mouth, making a low mewling sound deep in his throat.

He drew the head into his mouth once more, but only briefly. Alex was more than ready and he didn’t want to push it. Reluctantly, he let go, kissing the tip softly before rising up to settle his body on top of his lover’s.

"God, I love you," Krycek breathed into his mouth as he came down for another kiss.

"Of course you do," Mulder whispered confidently, sliding his hands under the other man’s knees and lifting. "This is my world."

Krycek’s soft chuckle turned to a loud gasp as his lover entered him with one firm push.

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