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Church of Gerbil of Canada

Zippy the Prophet



      [picture of Zippy here as soon as it's scanned]      





Zippy, a Canadian White Spot Gerbil (and proud to be so, I can assure you!), was stupid. Insufferably stupid. Pathetically stupid. Pitiably stupid. And yet still we loved him. Yes, he ran away from vacuum cleaners and big feet and lint balls. Sure, he was unable to figure oot how to climb up on the chesterfield just like all of our other gerbils could, eh? Sure, he would just hide under my bed most of the time.

But Zippy, you see, was rather long-lived for a gerbil. He made it to well past 4 human years (which, in Gerbil reckoning, makes him a veritable Methuselah.) While most of our other gerbils passed on to that great Habitrail complex in the sky at around 3 human years, Zippy obviously ootlived them.

What was the secret to Zippy's incredible longevity, you ask?

(Ask yourself now, lest I smite you, heathen!)

Well, meditating upon the sacred image of the Hamster Goddess, Kate, I believe I came to the answer.... Zippy, you see, was not "stupid." Zippy was zen.

No, not for Zippy was it a life of useless waste of mental energy. Zippy did not "ponder" or "contemplate" or "think"- Zippy just was. Zippy just existed.

I believe that we can all learn something from the example set forth by the great Guru, Zippy... perhaps, if we did not take things so seriously, and just existed, we would also live an extended, happy, care-free life.... think aboot it.



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