Yui Miyamoto 
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Disclaimer: Yui doesn’t own FruBa.Music Without Words
Chapter 8 – I chose to.
Before we knew it, it was the weekend
and Momiji and I were planning on staying over at Shigure’s house. But instead
of walking over, Hatori offered to drive us there.
As I was heading for
the car, Akito hung out of his window. Looking up, he smiled while stretching
his arms forward as if he were exercising.
I just passed through without
an expression on my face and carried my things to the car. I bet he was dying
there, though. He may have kept Kureno-san away from all of us, but Hatori was
the one he always screamed for.
I wondered if someone could be that sick
and have that much energy to be able to observe everything around him with such
sadistic vigor. He may have been quiet most of the time, but it was as if he was
storing up all his energy to be that powerfully violent later on.
I just
figured that this was his own way of being jealous and showing
affection.
Momiji wasn’t there when I got to the car, and so, I just
stood there patiently next to Hatori as he folded his arms while smoking a
cigarette.
“You really didn’t have to take us,” I told him. “But
thanks.”
He just continued to smoke.
But after a minute of
silence, he said, “If you need help, just ask, Haru.”
I looked at him and
was about to say something, when Momiji ran over and said, “Akito’s calling for
you, Hatori!”
Hatori immediately dropped his cigarette, smashed it under
his shoe, and ran towards Akito’s room. I watched him from behind and still
tried to deny what I was thinking.
Instead, I found myself honestly
saying to Momiji as he put his stuff into the car, “Akito really does love
Hatori, doesn’t he?”
He just turned his head to look at me for a moment.
“Why couldn’t you ask the question that was right in front of you,
Haru?”
I looked at him in a bit of astonishment. Because in all the years
I had know him, he had never answered me like that. He turned away from me as he
went into the car before I could say anything else.
When we got
to Shigure’s, Momiji immediately called out before taking off his shoes, “We’re
here!”
Tohru had just finished making some brownies in the kitchen. She
came into the living room and smiled while holding out her oven mittens and the
pan in front of her. “Good timing!”
I still had my bag over my shoulder
and Momiji and I looked at one another. “Eat first or put our stuff in the
rooms?” we said with our eyes.
Hatori got the first brownie. As we were
going to politely say we were going to put our stuff upstairs, Yuki took a
brownie and held out his other hand for us to stop for a moment.
Eating
only half of one, he walked past me, shoved the other half into my mouth and
said, “You’re with me this time.”
I blinked at him. Well, it was more of
blushing and staring at him as if he had lost his mind.
Of course, some
really bad part of me thought, “Kamisama…he’s so hot when he’s
aggressive.”
I kept my calm as I just nodded.
Accusingly, Kyo
pointed at Yuki. “I can’t believe I lost rock, paper, scissors!”
“Huh?”
So much for Yuki wanting me in his room. Then again, that’ll always be a
fantasy.
I went upstairs with Momiji and put our stuff down. When we came
back down, I got another brownie and poked Kyo on the shoulder. “Rock, paper,
scissors?”
“Yuki said he was sick of me getting my way, so Shigure
suggested that we have a rock, paper, scissors game to settle who gets who as
their roommate.”
“Really?” I blinked at him.
He growled. “I
played to get you so that I wouldn’t be with Momiji, but that damn Yuki still
won!”
That was when he sighed and hung his head.
I laughed. “God,
you’re awful.”
“Shut up.”
I still couldn’t believe they did that.
^^;;;
For the rest of the night, we played poker. Everyone was pretty
good, but Kyo was really good today, for some strange reason. He couldn’t beat
Yuki, though.
Still, the weirdness that had me wondering if the turning
of the world was kind of off, it was really blatant here as we sat around the
table.
I was next to Momiji, and I was looking at everyone’s faces. I
wanted to remember this moment and be grateful that there was this moment in the
first place. These faces that were laughing and joking and I was included with
that warm enjoyment.
Tohru was in between Kyo and Yuki, and I wondered if
Kyo had said anything to Tohru. Did anyone else know what happened? That there
was something different?
Should I even be questioning this because I
didn’t say anything at all about what was happening to me?
The more I
looked at Yuki’s face, I knew there was still someone I couldn’t reach. There
was something about him being next to Tohru that made him different. He acted in
a way that I was a little unaccustomed to.
He was a bit more comfortable
with her than he was with me.
Okay, so I was still a little jealous. And
hurt that he didn’t look at me with the same concerned and affectionate
expression he gave her.
When everyone got tired, we almost passed out
because we were so fatigued, but we managed to get to bed. Hatori left and the
house was silent after a long while. However, I just stared at the ceiling with
eyes that were wide awake.
I wasn’t sleepy at all.
I
gulped.
I only had one more week.
I then turned to watch Yuki,
even if his back faced me. After a couple of minutes, luckily, he turned and
faced me even though he was obviously sleeping.
I reached out and cupped
my hand over his cheek. Deeply, I looked at him, but I sighed too.
Tears
began to well up in my eyes as I watched his peaceful face.
Even though
he couldn’t hear me, I whispered, “Let me stay with you.”
But, I couldn’t
tell him, “I will make you happy.”
I want to…
I want to so
much…
Unable to stand myself, I got up and went to the back porch.
Sitting on the ledge, I looked up to the sky, trying to find an
answer.
Of course, there were no answers. There would just be
questions.
What the hell was I doing?
I’m…
I’m not supposed
to die in a week.
Other people get to choose the way they live, but how
come we don’t? Why are we punished for being the way we are?
These
questions have always come to me time and again, but now, I could feel my
heartbeats become faster and faster as I thought of each one.
Creak.
Someone opened their lips to ask, “Why did you leave me?”
But I
thought he was in a deep sleep!
I turned around to find Yuki behind me.
Funny, this question sounded more like an Akito question than a Yuki
one. And yet, it was Yuki who had asked it.
Because I was already
disturbed by my own thoughts of death, I looked at my angel and the first thing
I thought but dared not say was, “That depends if you could learn to love
me…”
Carefully, I looked away and answered, “I chose to.”
The
answer was too deep…
“I don’t understand why you’re so serious.” He then
came closer to me and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Now _I_ know you need to
really sleep, Haru.”
“I can’t go to sleep right now.” I smiled while
patting his hand and letting go of it. “Just go back to bed, Yuki. I’ll be back
there in a bit.”
He shook his head and I sighed as I got up knowing that
once he got this stubborn, he wouldn’t let me do anything until he got his
way.
We walked back to his room, but as I was about to go into my futon,
Yuki shook his head. Motioning for me to come to his futon, I just silently
came. I was so confused as he wrapped his body around me as if I were a teddy
bear.
Yuki whispered into my ear as he was falling asleep, “I just had a
nightmare, Haru. I…I thought you left me behind and I didn’t know where you
were.”
“And what did you do?” I asked him.
“I searched and
searched for you, but I couldn’t find you.” He then blinked his eyes sleepily at
me and closed them again. “That’s why I have to make sure you’re here when I
wake up…”
He then fell asleep.
Comforted by his words, shortly
after him, I was able to go to sleep
too.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author’s note: Well, this was an awkward
moment. I’m getting along with the story. I just hope I’m not going to stumble
on a writer’s block.
Yui Miyamoto
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Pairing
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